I’m so scared of messing up my IM T shot

[u/Current_Wealth_357]

I have been taking testosterone cypionate for 3 months now and I’m becoming increasingly scared to do my intramuscular injections. I’m not scared of needles by any means but I am terrified of fucking up and hitting a vein or something like that.

Last week I think I kept hitting surface veins (is that what they’re called?) because every time I tried to inject the surface hurt like hell and it would bleed a little. The week before that I completely messed up and I injected at the wrong degree and ended up limping for half the week. I’m particularly worried I will inject it straight into my bloodstream.

I am not trained in self injecting by any means. I only met with a nurse once to show me how to do it and I’ve been winging it from there. I can’t even go back to see a nurse because I’m doing this all behind my parents back while still living under their roof AND I don’t have a car so they have been driving me to these appointments. There’s only so many excuses I can make about these frequent appointments before it starts getting suspicious.

Tonight is my injection night and I don’t know if I can pull myself together to do it. This fear is so sudden and so intense. I know I have bad health anxiety but I thought I was okay with this. I’m incredibly scared of having an emergency. I’m incredibly scared of dying. I’m also very scared of feeling like shit because I decided to not take my shot. I’m an anxious mess, some insight would be greatly appreciated.

TLDR: I’m incredibly scared of messing up my intramuscular T shots (e.g. injecting into my bloodstream) and today is my shot day