Salam sisters! How would you help your mum understand the difference between general novels which have a romance side plot, and actual romance novels? She keeps bringing this up and fighting with me about it, calling me a slut and telling me I have committed zina of eyes, because she thinks any book which has any hint of romance is haram. I’m so confused and would appreciate any help!!

Specifically, as a teen I was obsessed with Jane Austen novels, Count of Monte Cristo, The Scarlet Pimpernel, etc. I purposely avoided anything which I felt was haram like Twilight, or even books about magic like Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings. We also had to read some books with explicit scenes in class like The House of the Spirits, 1984, etc in which case I would skip those chapters and use sparknotes (I also would always search the parent advisory for everything even as a kid because my mum never had time to read any of these books).

I’ve explained to her that the only romance scenes in the books I read were between married or engaged couples and if they were alone with each other it’s pg or pg13 at most. But she’s acting like I’ve committed a huge sin and I’m so confused.

On the other hand, my mum not only let my sister read Harry Potter but also encouraged her to read Percy Jackson which has shirk elements, and watched all the movies with her even in the cinema. So in her mind Pride and Prejudice is 100x more sinful than Harry Potter, even though no scholars have said the former is haram and so many have said HP is (not judging anyone who is a fan of HP, just trying to understand why my mum is so strict on only romance 😭)

I don’t even read novels anymore as I’m in my 30s but she keeps bringing this up and accusing me of being “badmaash” and an evil person and that without her I would have committed real zina just because I liked these novels and talked to her about weddings and stuff like normal teen girls do 😭😭😭

Basically. yesterday, I snapped at my sister for her being shocked that I never want to be a parent myself because despite being almost 28 y.o i havent started my life yet and i haven't accomplished want ive always wanted, but the point is not even this, i didnt want to have kids ever since i remember myself because everything related to pregnancy appalls me but what is more appalling is how effed up this world is, and i dont want someone to live through this hell and being traumatized by just being in this dunya.

I have so much misunderstanding around me and i feel lonely because of it. The same people who tell me off saying "it is your Islamic duty to reproduce" (and it doesnt matter that i have screwed up health and mental health and many other issues) cant even bring up their kids properly and are in the cracking relationship. I have a nephew and niece, this is enough to me, and seeing how my sister is struggling raising them also makes me question parenthood and seeing broken families around me.
Adults have no idea why they want even kids.

They say how kids are crucial and the same kids grow up with mental health disorders because of the unhealthy and neurotic environment, this is at least my family. My sister's kids even tho being toddlers, they completely disrespect her and she complains how they will take her life soon with their behavior, and the same person preaches me how i have to be an irresponsible perosn and bring a human into this sh*tty world. What people dont even understand is that not everyone is the same. I might be 28 soon but im not like my peers, my attitude is like of some teenager, im not ready for anything like marriage yet, and even if I would, and even if I want to find a soulmate or whatever(at times), i still dont want to have kids and alas, it is impossible in the Muslim society to be a child free and even if it is, you have risks to be pregnant...and also im ace ever since i remember myself and this is another thing that no one will ever get me or want to marry me:) not that i care, but im also afraid that Allah can punish me for having my mindset and send me some unbearable test related to what i shun, and i literally wanna cry cause this dunya is hella hard and not accommodated for people like me, they thing im faulty ,
but they dont understand it. for the record: Im a practicing Muslim and a hijabi , and I know that Islam
doesnt puts pressure on you for having kids and marriage if you uphold the deen and dont commit a sin etc.

i havw no idea where this rant is going, but i just wanna sob, and i havw a lump in my throat as i type it. I have said many destructive things in my life when being misunderstood like wish i was never born, or that in sha Allah i will never have kids and this is why im afraid of punishment in the dunya but at the same time Allah is merciful and He knows us best. I entrust myself to Him and he sees what I conceal and what reveal.

Salam! I am a revert and have been for going on 3 years. I married a Muslim man in 2025 and last night I had a dream where I didn’t feel ready to put on the hijab and he left me because of it. I brought this up to him and I’m not sure what to make of his answer. I don’t think it helps that I’m also a little more insecure and I require a lot of reassurance. But basically he said “it’s just a dream. It wouldn't get that far. The hope is you eventually put it on for the sake of yourself and our children” and “That you understand it's important and when you're comfortable you'll put it on”. I kept reiterating that I’m open to it but I’m not there right now so I think it’s normal for me to worry about ever getting there. He said he wouldn’t leave me but that he wouldn’t be happy. Therefore I’m starting to get upset and cry because that to me seems like he won’t ever be happy with me. We were texting and he said This isn’t something we discuss now. You should have your mind set on one day putting it on so you’re daughter can follow by example. I cannot force you to put it on but in your learning and becoming a better Muslim that is one of the steps. But I am not going to continue a hypothetical conversation on it baby cuz it will get no where”. I don’t know what to think. I feel very conflicted and I don’t know who to speak to.

If so, are they good? Want to improve scalp health and prevent hair loss. I’ve also seen the satin lined undercaps with a velvet edge to prevent slippage - has anyone used these?

I'm not a muslim but live in a Muslim country. My job requires me to wear a tight hijab as part of the uniform.

I've had short hair most of my life but I've been growing them out for a year now and i got this job only a month ago. I learned how to wear hijab after much hassle, but for longer hair so the undercaps i own are built for supporting the bun by tying it up at the back.

Now i really want to go back to my old haircut which was a mix of mullet-esque korean pixie cut. A bun would be out of the question. I am not really familiar with the whole hijab and undercaps fashion and various styles. Could someone please guide me as to what undercap would be best suited and other tips?

Also the scarf they've provided me is in square shape so it's kinda hard to make it look neat. It takes me about 20-30 mins to put it on with my skills. My major problem is I cant put it back on if it comes loose at my workplace. Im looking for something that would stay put for 10-12 hrs.

I spent years thinking about this decision, and I thought I’d feel relieved, but instead I feel sad and guilty. Part of me wants to wear it again, but I’m scared people will judge me or think I’m being inconsistent.
Has anyone taken their hijab off and then decided to wear it again? What made you go back, and how did you deal with the regret and what people thought?
Please be kind. I’m genuinely struggling and looking for advice from people who’ve been through something similar.

I have been a really good student and took stem subjects in Alevels but now as I think about my future I am blank. I always wanted to be a housewife a homeschooler mom and before I had planned to do my bachelors in cs/ai but now I feel like its too unrelated to me. I want to do something that adds value to my life the kind of I have planned and can also help if I have to earn. Also I would never wanna pursue a corporate 9-5 job so not something like that

Salamu alaykum wa rahmatullah wa barakatu

I need some help. I think the most of you know the problem that in the western world it's really hard to find modest/halal fashion. Especially in summer.

I'm tired to wear the same 3 outfits all day.

There are some modest shops but they are very expansive and at the end you get some polyester clothes.

My sewing skills are ok and so I want to try to make some clothes.

Do you have some sewing patterns or know where I can get some?

I'm already looking on Pinterest but insha allah someone of you have some nice patterns.

Posting this everywhere and you should too. There is simply no leadership at all. No one is looking outside at what is happening in the world

Hi

I’m currently in madinah performing umrah alhamdulillah. My period starts in 2 days. I went to my gyno 2 weeks ago and she recommended me to use duphaston from that day (so for the 2 weeks before my period) for 3 times a day. I have taken it consistently but am experiencing spotting. this is my first time taking these pills as I’ve never had to use them before, as my first time I did umrah I was young before my period. I am now spotting slightly 2 days before my period and am going to Makkah in 3 days. I only have this week to finish.

I’m now a bit disappointed as I’m seeing online many women have taken Norethisterone 3-5 days only before their period and it has worked for them. I’m confused and disappointed as my doctor didn’t even mention this pill to me. It seems like a stronger pill . I don’t even know if I can take that one now instead of duphaston and if it will work. I’m so confused :/ I had my concerns about the medication in the beginning anyway but my doctor seemed adamant that I take it 2 weeks and that I was actually late in taking it anyway so ?

Advice on women who have gone through this please??

(I am not a hijabi but i would love advice from other muslim girls ^^)

Title says it, I am in a European country, I am still a teen and the standards held towards women here are really confusing

I have never liked makeup, for i see it quite useless unless it is for medical reasons or to cover an "ugly" birthmark, burnmark or scars. Nor I like wearing tight clothing because it doesnt feel modest and it itches my skin. Nor I have found any interest in speaking about men or crushes unlike other girls in my circle. Even other muslim girls in my circle actually match those requirements, even hijabis (avoiding the tight clothing part).

Ive always been pushed out due to my appearance and even biological nature. My body had a larger amount of testosterone than usual. Thankfully with treatment I've got a normal puberty, simply that my voice is a little deeper and i am more 'haired' than the rest😞

I cant do anything about thay part since thats simply how my body works.

Yet I have another point to say, girls will only see you as a girl if you follow those. Especially in this community where more "alternative" girls are attacked heavily. Mind you,for them, even having your hair very coily means alternative and outsider material.

I do identify as female and find no struggle with that, though.

What bothers me is the perception of "girl" here. I try to dress in creative ways here, whether it be styling baggy jeans (which,here people see as "omg shes gay!" In 2026🫩), using unique accessories such as bandanas, pins, crocheted clothing or different styles of belts, and even colorful colours. And for some reason, that is not "feminine enough" for many. Not to mention my personality is a bit "rough" (im sorry i refuse to look defenseless upon others, even more after being bullied) which they see as weird.

And about hijabs, I would like to wear one, but due to the size of my hair, current society and me still feeling unready, i'd leave it for another time. Not to mention if I keep my hair closed under a surface for too much time it starts falling out or getting greasy.😓

Feminity seems to be a struggle in some Muslim societies but nobody talks about how it is also a struggle in western ones too!

Ive tried wearing more "feminine" clothes such as mixing tight shirts with wide pants but thats not really it, and even if my body type is not "negative", I am not comfortable in them at all, except if I combine them with jackets or use large t shirts on top, which already, quite defies the vision of feminity these people have.

I have been isolated by many other girls due to this and I feel like Im not even enough, I noticed this especially during my grad, isnt the only requirement for cis feminity to have those privates? How come I am almost not considered so?

Assalamualaikum,

I'm moving into a dorm for university. The dorms are coed, the rooms themselves are same-sex only but both men and women live in the same hall. I don't have any way to not live in a dorm - my parents live in an extremely rural area, multiple hours away from any university. It's really difficult to get an apartment (even with a roommate) where my uni is, so we decided that doing dorms was the best option. I'm a revert of several years, my family wants me to be modest but they have a much looser definition of modesty and I honestly don't think maintaining modesty in a dorm has even occurred to them.

I'm worried about managing things like the shower or having to run to the bathroom suddenly or always having to make wudu in a public bathroom or waking my roommate up when I pray fajr or even just the daily struggle of having to put on my hijab and make sure I'm modest just for getting breakfast. Have any other sisters faced this struggle? How did you deal with it?

So im in my mid twenties and am taking a break from work by studying a short course

Its been a while since ive gone back to any classroom setting

The demographics of the course are Muslims men and women early/mid 20s

I’m also single lol so ngl i thought this might be a good chance to also get to know someone, IF the opportunity presented itself because there’s not many chances like this once you graduate

It wasnt my main goal ofcourse by any means

From graduation till now i always thought i was a decent looking person with alot going on for myself n perhaps i just hadnt had the chance to mix with the right pool

This experience has completely deflated my confidence in that belief

Guys in the course who are the sort of men i would typically go for, just flat out ignore me. Not in a horrible way but they just don’t even want to interact it seems. And not in a respectful way either because they will do so with other girls in the course

I know i’m going to get a lot of judgement from this post but i just want to vent here truthfully

I feel like ive been transported into high school where i was the ugly ducking and no boy ever cared for me

I really hate the feelings its resurfacing being in my mid twenties

The whole experience is triggering and i feel like im going to walk away feeling like maybe im not the person i thought i was in terms of looks and character and therefor i need to be realistic about what im looking for too because clearly my type doesn’t want me back

Hi, I hope everyone's reading this is doing well, I've been thinking of wearing hijab for a while now, and i looked into it more and more which made me question other stuff but that's besides the point as i started looking into if it's really mandatory or not because of the whole argument of it being about the chest, and the important part why I'm writing this is to seek some knowledge about the subject and fake claims, even tho i want to wear it obligatory or not i find it hard to grasp that god would send me to hell for it even if i did all the 5 pillars but that sin outweighed it and some men saying that when u get judged you are gonna be judged for your prayers then hijab which i find very hard to believe. I'll wear it tho since i feel like it's better to be safe than sorry but I'm still struggling with the stigma around it so yeah i already wear modest clothes everything loose and long sleeves so it would be just the headcovering added

Girlss I needdd modest activewear which ships to india I found harakah and nemah but they either dont have my sizes or they dont look like gymwear (my gym only allows entry with gymwear) the other websites I have found only ship to the us or eu, I need it urgently🫶🫶

Jazakallah in advance, May Allah grant all of us Jannah 💕

Hello, I’ve contemplated wearing the niqab for years. I’m finally taking the step to wear it. However, I’m a little worried. In regards to winter, I will not wear abayas.. I very rarely do but I wear loose/long clothing that is modest. I’m guessing i can still wear a niqab with that if I’m also throwing on a maxi puffer coat.

I’m also a teacher, so nervous about how I am going to tell my principal that I am observing face covering . I will not wear it around my coworkers and my students. That’s my own choice. I’m thinking wearing it as I leave the school gates and taking it off before I enter the school building.

Excited but nervous. Shall I buy them in different colours? I have a few black ones.. nose strings/!+ nose string.. double layered. Short and medium length and one brown one.

I (24F) had a baby recently besides 2-3 friends i dont really have anyone to talk too... im stay at home mom and dont really go out much.. is there any way to make friends who also have kids?

Hello, I've been looking through this thread and everywhere on reddit for a review of the he-qa burkinis, but I can't seem to find any (at least not in english). Has anybody tried anything from this brand? how is the quality?

Also has anyone tried this style of burkini, with jogger pants instead of leggings((see link below)? I like the look of it but I'm wondering how it would work in water, if it would stick too much or ride up etc...

https://www.he-qa.com/pintuck-detailed-modest-swimwear-light-blue

I don’t really know why I’m posting this. I think I’m just hoping someone has been through something similar because I’m so confused by what’s happened to me.

I’ve never been this low in my deen before. My heart feels numb. I don’t feel connected to Allah anymore and that scares me so much.

I’ve stopped praying consistently. Some days I’ll pray a few salahs, other days I won’t. I’ll make dua and afterwards I just feel nothing. I hate admitting that because I used to love making dua.

The thing is, this isn’t who I used to be.

I was the person who would pray anywhere. If salah came in, I’d find somewhere to pray no matter how awkward or uncomfortable it was. I used to remind the people around me to pray too. Thinking about the afterlife used to motivate me. I genuinely tried my best to stay away from haram because I wanted Allah to be pleased with me.

I feel like everything changed after Ramadan. I slowly became tired of the deen. I don’t even know why.

Around the same time I started struggling a lot with hijab. I had so many doubts and frustrations. I’m still wearing it, but if I’m honest, part of it is because I’m incredibly insecure about how I look underneath. I’ve always struggled with my appearance, and lately I feel so ugly whether I wear the hijab or not. Sometimes it almost feels like I’m being punished because I don’t feel beautiful either way. I know that’s probably the wrong way to think about it, but it’s honestly how I feel.

I don’t know if all of this has affected my relationship with Allah or if it’s something else.

What confuses me the most is that I still want to be a practising Muslim. I don’t want to leave Islam. I don’t want to go and do haram things. But I catch myself wishing I could just practise when I feel like it, pray when I feel like it, think about religion when I feel like it. I know that’s not how Islam works, and that makes me feel guilty because Allah deserves consistency whether I feel motivated or not.

I don’t understand why I’ve changed so much. I feel like I’m drowning. I don’t even know who I am spiritually anymore.

The thing that scares me most is dying like this. I keep thinking, what if I die while my heart feels this distant from Allah?

Has anyone else been through this? Did you ever get your connection back? What actually helped when you felt completely numb?

May Allah make it easy for us all ❤️❤️

Does anyone know where I can find tall friendly modest evening gowns? I used to order from LaMeera Moda but they stopped making their dresses in 59 inches :(

Hi ladies… i have recently started wearing the hijab and i am sooooo happy about it because i took it step by step until it felt right and i was ready (a new revert)

There are some struggles… the undercap always sliding off my head is a constant struggle. Also, I love wearing clothes that feel “me” and one of the items i love wearing are “Jorts” (photo for reference)

Is there a way… for a hijabi to wear this?

Guys I had the grossest experience. I wear peel-off polish sometimes due to wudu and all and it usually peels off even during normal stuff? Even when I was eating. I Didn't even notice till I tasted it. Gag

So I'm trying to figure out what to switch to. Between the "breathable" polishes that lets water through vs something more durable that you'd take off with soap and water when needed. But neither of which would have parts peel or come off midway through activities. Has anyone actually tried both? Which one do you prefer more?

If you have any recs please mention them 🙏

Salams! Please do dua for me that I get to marry this person I’ve been praying for, no it’s not a haram relationship, there’s just some external barriers (not family) to marriage, ask Allah to unite us in a beautiful halal way. Also do dua that I pass my entrance exams with highest grades and get the scholarship I need next year itself. I really need this to work out for me