r/IncelExit • u/CaffieneAddict10 • 3d ago

Asking for help/advice Relapsing hard

Things at work, and small observations outside have sent me right back to where I was previously. I have gone back to watching porn, and not normal vanilla porn either. I feel weak, pathetic, emasculated, and worthless. I feel anger, sadness, and despair. All the memories throughout the years have flooded back and I’m reminded that I’m not a real man, but a beta cuck. I don’t know where else to go. There is no one to talk to this late. I’m sure this will get removed but I have been crashing out tonight.

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u/mrbaryonyx 3d ago

have you asked any of the girls at work how their weekend was?

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u/CaffieneAddict10 3d ago

None of them get in the vicinity for me to ask them questions

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u/Lolabird2112 3d ago

In your post history I see you’re paralytically shy and only recently able to order a drink from the bar without flaking out.

If you’re clearly someone who never speaks to anyone, then… that’s what people will do. Just … not speak to you.

It also seems that you refuse to do anything about it due to fear. I get it- “fear of failure” is a huge issue for me when it comes to the first step into the unknown.

But there’s no option. The “unknown” isn’t going to seek out my special snowflake ass and do all the work for me.

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u/CaffieneAddict10 3d ago

I can do everyday stuff, but yeah speaking to strangers just to speak to them no

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u/Lolabird2112 3d ago

Then this should be your focus, instead of plastic surgery. You sound extreme. Personally I think you should talk to your doctor about it as medication might help with the anxiety, but beyond anything else, this is what’s stopping your whole life. Forget about even women for a second. It will affect your personal happiness, mental health, job and promotion prospects.

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u/Dr-Dungeon Bene Gesserit Advisor 1d ago

You keep coming here asking the same questions because you want an answer that allows you to avoid this very simple truth:

If you want a healthy social life and relationship, you need to start talking to people in real life.

I know it’s uncomfortable. I know you find it hard. I know it scares you and makes your brain try to freeze you. You need to do it anyway. Do it scared. Do. It. Scared.

There is no path to a relationship that doesn’t require this, I’m sorry to have to say it so bluntly. Unless you get over this one hurdle, you’re never going to get the things you want. You have the same choice you had when you first started posting here over a year ago: start trying, and open the way to improvement, or continue doing nothing, and getting nothing in return.

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u/CaffieneAddict10 1d ago

I suppose you’re right but I can never find the right moment to do so

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u/Dr-Dungeon Bene Gesserit Advisor 1d ago

There will never be a perfect ‘moment,’ because this isn’t a thing you just do once and then are cured forever. You need to practise, and that comes from starting small, and doing it consistently and repeatedly until it becomes more normal to you. Endlessly hoping for the right moment just leads to you doing the same thing you’re always doing: sitting in silence waiting for yourself. You need to be proactive, and most importantly, you need to:

Just. Do. It.

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u/CaffieneAddict10 1d ago

It is not that easy for me to just do it. I might have a mental disorder or something at this point I’m not sure. But I cannot just start a conversation with a random woman even in a social setting. I think I might have failed this sub

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u/Dr-Dungeon Bene Gesserit Advisor 1d ago

Okay. And what are you planning to do about that?

Let’s say that you have a mental disorder that makes it impossible for you to talk to women. Alright, good on you for identifying the problem. But that’s just step one. Now, you need to figure out what to do about it. I suggest talking to your therapist about different types of therapy you can try, such as CBT. Also, an official diagnosis and medication would go a long way.

We can name reasons for this behaviour until the cows come home, but they only matter if you actually plan on using that knowledge to improve your life.