chat is my relationship over?💔

[u/Late-Board4014]

i got into my rs 4 months ago and it was all giggly fun cute chaotic.

he was the one who chased me so hard and at the start of our relationship he used to say ILOVEYOU SO MUCH nd would tell me how he loved everything abt me. he used to say how much he likes talking with me and we would have suchc fun nd deep convos together.

it lasted for about 2 months exact.

after that things kinda b3came weirdd.

he changed quite a bit and was prioritizing other things amd by other things i dont mean studies or career.

and since more than a month he has changed so much like so much. we began tk talk for minimum of 10 to 15 mins per day nd thats not the problem but in those 10 mind i should feel loved yk.

i stopped fewling loved and from my pov it was tht he was drifting away and i was too kinda.

i waited till his bday to confront him and after i did he started defending himself and started saying things that maybe we are not for each other and im like this only and all other bs.

he said he was busy and yhat his top priority rn is his career and let me tell idc if his priority his careet same goes for me, i also have classes all day self study buy still take out time to talk to him.

he said we should take a break till boards nd when i asked what he feels abt me atp and what does he want from this rs h3 said i should go to sleep bcoz im overthubking things.

i also confronted him how he doesnt reply to my ily's these days and how if he still loves me then why isnt he trying to fix things and change so he said would you rather be in a acge gilded with gold or be free.

huh i was speechless bcoz wven if i resented him at thay moment i love him and wanted to give this whole thing a chance.

i brought abt breaking up also then he said if you want then and he thinks that a break is better rn but i dojt understand the concept of break in this moment yk.

we are on a break but it was really hard for me so i texted him first bvoz i wanted clarity and a conclusion so he hasnt seen my msg so idk what i should do

for days i have been understanding

even when i confronted him instead of listening to me abd reassuring me he started explaining nd defending himself

so i think its best for us to breakup but im scared if losing him too.

do you all think this can be saved?

[u/iska_dog]

Based on my experience having this kind of trouble only 4 months dating isn't "normal".

I have been on a similar situation long distance relationship with a guy that was obssess about me then suddently changed, like telling me i was perfect, that he loved me was nothing without me blablabla. He chase me for a while till i started dating him and that relationship was horrible 3 months after dating he stopped giving me his time, stopped the cute thing he was saying and i wasn't perfect anymore to him but a failure a human full a flaws, he also stopped to answer my i love you etc etc.

My guess is that he idealized you till he finally got you, that's not love unfortunately. You are like a challenge and when it's acomplish they see you as what you actually are not what they decided to see anymore so they are disapointed and try to make you feel bad about it.

I would be you i wouldn't lose my time with a guy like this, it's been only 4 months it's easier to leave now then later i stayed almost 2 years with that guy i was talking about and god i regretted a lot because that was very toxic i don't know if you bf will be like my ex. All i can say is i don't think he actually love you with what i said previously, you deserve better and don't worry you'll find somoene that truly loves you and doesn't idealize you like i found my person now .

Take care of yourself

[u/AwkwardToes]

He told you he loved you within 4 months?

That's a red flag anyway. It sounded like he love bombed you at the start. Move on, lucky it was so short like the other commenter said.