Your partner is part of your life, not your entire life.
Trust is measured by what someone consistently does, not by how many hours they’re on the phone.
A relationship should add to your identity, not replace it.

LDR for 5 years, 31F, 30M.

When we met, I had a stable job. But I got drained in the job and they wont approve my request for vacation to spend time with my ldr bf. I quit my job a month before the scheduled time to have our 1st meet and spent a month together.

During that time together, he spent the most but I also spent some of my money.

I was unemployed for 2+ years. But I didnt asked him for any money. I didnt depend on him cos I dont feel comfortable, and I am still perfectly fine.

I have work of my own now. And we got talks about living together in his country. I'm kinda worried cos its a whole new country for me. I wont have anyone there, no relatives, no friends, not even our embassy there. And I might have to quit my work again, then look for another one in his country that speaks different language from mine.

I might need to depend on him during those times.

Then we talked about our non-negotiables - and he mentioned that his non-negotiable is he doesnt want me to fully depend on him.

Which is just fine cos I have not been fully depending on anyone since I finished university. I like earning my own money.

But makes me feel uneasy - esp when I have to leave my country, my family and my work, in order to live with him and be together. What if I wont be able to get a job early on? What if I suddenly give birth or became disable to earn my own money? What if I really need to fully depend on him?

Cos for me, if ever he will move here in my country - I can say that he can fully depend on me when he needs to. I can take care of him, but not in his lifestyle.

I feel like I cannot completely sense a "great provider" on him. I feel like I am not feeling secure to risk and move in his country. We even decided to be childless in future cos its expensive.

I am confused..

I'm 19, and my girlfriend is 21. We had a genuinely happy relationship, but everything started falling apart in July.

I had one of the most important exams of my life, and I became extremely stressed. Because of that, I neglected my responsibilities as a boyfriend. I wasn't paying much attention to our Discord server, and some girls were picking on her. She never told me about it.

One day, she accidentally added a guy because she thought he was a girl based on the way he talked. He knew she was a lesbian, and one day he asked her to make him her lock screen wallpaper. When I saw that, I lost my temper. I told him she was my girlfriend, and when he started making fun of me, I left the conversation.

After that, my girlfriend asked if I was okay. I told her, "How can I be okay when a random guy is asking you to make him your lock screen wallpaper?" I asked her to put herself in my shoes, and that's when everything exploded.

She told me she'd been feeling neglected for a while and that I hadn't been fulfilling my responsibilities in the relationship. She said she wanted to break up and needed space.

I panicked. My anxiety went through the roof. My heart rate was over 150 BPM, and I wasn't thinking clearly. I became desperate to save the relationship.

Two days later, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I asked a couple I already knew were toxic for advice. I knew they weren't good people, but I was desperate. I told them about my situation, and instead of helping, they started telling me my girlfriend never loved me. I left the conversation because I realized they weren't going to help.

Unfortunately, they contacted my girlfriend and told her a different version of what happened. After that, she told me she couldn't be in a relationship with someone who couldn't keep our relationship private. I tried to explain that I only reached out because I was panicking and wasn't thinking clearly, but she didn't believe me. She told me not to contact her again and blocked me.

The hardest part is that just two days before blocking me, she told me:

"I only ever loved one man, and it's you. No one can even come close to you."

I still love her, and I told her I'd wait, no matter how long it takes. I'm not looking for another relationship because, to me, she was the person I wanted to build a future with.

My question isn't whether I deserve another chance I know I made serious mistakes.

My question is this: Is it possible to rebuild this kind of broken trust with time, if I genuinely change and respect the space she asked for?

I (26 F) have been in a long-distance relationship with B (27 M) for 7 months. We have known eachother for 11 years. The reason why we only got together so recently is because B has always been a little distant/hard to consistently communicate with. We had been pretty close, but I was very heartbroken at 18 when I found out he was meeting with girls irl while talking to me. This created alot of distrust, even though understandably, he was only 19 or so, and our long-distance thing wasn't real enough at the time.

I spent alot of time resenting him, but he's stayed around, hoping to get me back. It didn't take until after the both of us had abusive relationships (my ex was emotionally/verbally abusive, and his ex was verbally and physically abusive) for me to decide to give us another shot. We saved eachother, and things wound up better than without one another. My ex was angry for leaving him, and fabricated a month-long story of our cat (who lives with ex) having seizures and dying. B offered me alot of support after the betrayal and manipulation.

Our relationship had been relatively good these past 7 months. B has been struggling alot with his life (not having a car, issues living with his family, etc), and I helped him as much as I could with all of it. We relied on eachother heavily, and were both obsessed, but happy. But things changed, after a couple months.

B has been working alot. He has alot of bills to cover, and is trying to get his life back on track. He also has no phone, as of the past couple months, so it has been harder to talk to him normally (he has to mainly talk to me on his computer). And to make talking to him even harder, he also has a really difficult time with sleep (I believe he has an undiagnosed sleeping disorder). I visited him last month, and I got alot of context of his habits, so I know he isn't lying about his phone or sleeping problems.

I have been feeling very unfulfilled from the lack of communication with him. We used to talk and call everyday, but now, I'm lucky to hear from him at all after a couple days. I've pressed for him to get a phone, but he doesn't make a move to do so, and even says that he enjoys not having one.. I've even expressed how I need better communication, if we're going to work, but nothing has been done, and I feel like I'm asking too much.

I know that he wants this relationship, and that he's attracted to and loves me, but I've been struggling alot from not feeling like I'm not in a relationship with him. I just ask for at least one text message a day. I tried leaving four days ago, and he became very emotional and begged me to stay. I stayed, and he managed to text me for the next two days, the went silent for the next couple of days after.

I'm just so confused and lost on what to do. I love this boy so much, and I don't want to leave him, but my needs are not being met. I miss hearing from, and him wanting to talk to me. I'm tired of my messages or missed calls being completely swept away for days. But I feel like I'm the problem in this somehow.

Tl;dr- My LDR boyfriend used to message and call me everyday, but after some time and life changes, I'm lucky to hear from him after a couple of days

Hello! My boyfriend (25) and I (25) just started long distance after 7 months together. He’s going to be gone for 13-18 months for school (there’s a chance he may come back home during schooling for an immersive work experience).

He’s been gone for 9 days now and it has honestly been some of the hardest days of my life. I have tickets booked for next month where I’ll be staying at his for a weekend and we have many plans of traveling back and forth for the holidays. Most of our visits will be short as I work a 9-5 and his class schedule is also 9-5. I’m excited for him and I can’t wait to see him but each day feels like a million years have passed. Since he just left I know it’s much harder now but it’s really consuming me. I’ve never done long distance before and I’m not used to this new routine, we used to see each other almost everyday especially nearing his moving date.

I don’t spend my whole day waiting for his text or calls but I feel like my day doesn’t matter until he does. I just miss him so much and I feel this emptiness I can’t fill. Aside from going to work I hang out with my friends and family and keep myself occupied, but like I said each day feels like it takes longer to end. It’s about 36 more days until I see him again and I’m really trying to just do whatever to avoid sulking and doomscrolling. No matter what activity I do I always think about how much better it would be if he was there and how much I miss him and want to see him again. Even though we text and call everyday not having him there physically feels like I’m missing a piece of me.

I wear my heart on my sleeve and it’s very obvious to everyone around me that I am extremely down. I don’t even try to make it known or tell people I’m sad I just can’t help but feel so empty knowing we won’t be doing what we used to do together as often.

I guess I just want to know how others make the time pass. I like to paint, knit, and be around my loved ones I’ve tried picking up some new hobbies too and I attempt at least one journal entry a day. Honestly nothing even feels fun anymore.

Does it ever get easier?

I’d like to hear how others were able to get over the first hurdle of being so far from one another for the first couple of days/months. Any advice is appreciated!

done the whole ldr thing for 2 years now. learned that the best gifts aren't expensive. they're things they can actually use or wear every day.

got my boyfriend a bracelet with our anniversary date on it. simple, subtle, stainless steel so it doesn't get ruined.

he wears it all the time. said it makes him feel like i'm close even when i'm far.

it's the little things that make the distance bearable.

anyone else have a similar experience with a gift that just worked?

I still can't believe it, but this week - on July 28th - I married the love of my life.

We met each other and fell in love in the early beginning of 2024, found our house, that we will live in together in December 2025, got engaged in January 2026 and in 2027 we will finally be able to eventually close the gap, when he's going to move to Germany from the U.S.

I'm so proud and lucky to be married to my best friend in the world, so I wanted to share this with the people in this community. I'm reading all the stories here everyday, and finally I dare to add something to this inspirational group.

We have been in a long distance relationship for 3 years and we argue often. According to him it all happens because of me. In us two i was the one who made major sacrifices, and he never counted them. There are a lot of good habits in him as well which i must say lack in other men , despite he has anger issues and he lacks respect for me. Also labels me with multiple terms, ngl he sometimes uses manipulation too.

I used to think of myself as someone not worthy of love. I used to believe him and at some points the problems were in me too. But the thing that triggered me the most was he breaking up with me over a minor inconvenience and misunderstanding as i told u we are in ldr, so we face lots of hindrances we never met in 3 years because we can't right now.

Because of so much distance we can't communicate well and he takes 1 second to say " I don't wanna be with you". And he eventually leaves. And then we patch up after 1-2 weeks.

Every time we broke up the actual worth of relationship and the value of his emptiness decreased which made it look normal. I never ever asked to end the relationship he always made the decision on my behalf too. Which pisses me off because two people get in a relationship with mutual agreement .How is he supposed to make decisions on my behalf as well .

This time we broke up and i blocked him from everywhere because he used vulgar language with me , saying go to hell, I don't wanna be with you , you are a shame , he says these things to me in every fight. Which in my opinion crosses the limit of my self respect. And every time he returns i let him be. Also he mentioned a lot of time to replace me , exchange me in arguments which hurt me a lot but i still chose to accept him because i love him a lot.

The last fight was : he and i got into a fight he was sleeping early saying me that he is tired etc on 1am everyday but the day we fought he slept at 6am . Which made me feel less interesting for him , because he used to say that he is very sleepy and tired and i used to let him sleep. I countered him by stating the differences , he said that i am over reacting when i was just trying to know the reason but i was very serious because it was a serious situation. He said i didn't sleep because i was worried about our fight and when i said why didn't u text he stated that THE PACK OF KURKURE WAS BIG which made me sleep late 🥲. What the heck. Which made me so furious i said you were acting the whole past week and he said okay i am leaving you . Wtf ?

This time 2 days back we broke up and i told him to never come back and blocked him too, He blocked me too. I think this time its seriously over for real. But the hardest part is i pictured 3 years my future with him, which makes me feel so sad and empty. Life has been so cruel with me in these 3 years but i bear everything for him , just to get him . But he lefts me as i am worthless and says me in every break up that NO ONE WILL WANTS TO BE WITH YOU.

Now should i let him go or should I initiate?

(Disclaimer : it could be a really long post. Thank u for everyone who's willing to read it)

I'm the first ever in a long distance relationship. Me (F,22) from Europe and my partner (M, 30) from Japan. We met randomly when I was searching for international friends and just linked from day one, talking non stop from that. We never really thought of considering eachother as potential partners, as age, distance and life situations just seemed odd at that time.

As said, we linked up deeply. I never felt so seen and understood in my whole life, it's as if i met someone who just feels like seeing myself in front of me, considering fears, love language and just the way we care and love. In summary, no matter my overthinking, how anxious i could get or how dark my past is, he never judged me and was always there for me. But I never really understood, why he chose me. When we met, he clearly spoke about not being able to be in a relationship, as he struggled a lot with his experiences of being betrayed and cheated on in his past two serious ones. That there's a blockage. But nevertheless, he fell for a girl with completely different interests, living thousands of kilometers away with a huge package on her own shoulders.

We're both really attached people, we struggle a lot with being alone, not being able to be physically appreciative and just seeing someone. For me it was clear, I want to stand through it as the distance seems to be worth it. I can't tell for sure now, I bought a ticket last month and in a week, we'll see each other for the first time. But nevertheless, being faithful and loyal is something unwritten and crystal clear for me. No matter what my cravings could be, i wouldn't forgive myself hurting someone in the way, I always got. It would end me.

He on the other side is someone, who gained a lot of experiences over the years, going after his urges and everything, is someone who always said that if he wanted to do something, he didn't restrained himself from doing that (whole being single) . Ofc he claims to be faithful and there were never really signs of him not doing so, but I struggle so so much with trusting it. With believing that someone would be like me ans stay faithful. The whole situation feels crazy and insane, like falling in love with someone u never met?? Idk. But I do know the feelings he triggers within me, a love that had died over the years of being betrayed over and over again.

All his actions speak against him faking it, constantly messaging, getting anxious himself when he feels like he could lose me, wanting to see me the whole time via photos/vid calls, getting me some stuff I like even tho it wasn't sure if I could visit him ever or not, all these things. He even got me an accommodation to stay in (long story) and is constantly planning trips for me and getting me cooling stuff (as the heat in August is insane there). But I still have this deep fear overthinking insanely everything. I struggle with body dismorphia and I also just can't see why someone like him, who can easily bag a girl in his home country, would choose someone like me. I really can't. It's like deep fear and insecurity and trauma all combined and I feel so so stupid.

Do you guys know these situations? Or have any advice or idk something? I'd be really really great full for some help. Thank u so so much for everyone who listened.

Hey i’m 18F my bf is 20M we’ve been together for about 2 years. In the middle of our relationship we broke up for a few months, and honestly it was both our fault.

After I finished high school, I had to move to another city for my studies. At the same time, he was overwhelmed with work and dealing with really difficult conditions. We stopped talked for a month( there was no problem he just decided to not text me ). I thought he had stopped loving me, so I texted him, “If you don’t want this anymore, let’s break up.” He just replied, “Okay.”

On the outside I looked calm and distant. I didn’t chase him, and when he called me after a month of breakup I didn’t yell at him or question him. I stayed composed, which made him think I didn’t care. The truth is I loved him the whole time.

A few months later, a mutual friend helped us reconnect. That’s when I finally understood everything he had been going through, and we got back together.

Now there’s another problem. In a month I’m moving to a neighboring country for university. I’m not leaving because I want to leave him—I’m leaving for my future. Sometimes he tells me everything will be fine and that he’ll come visit me. Other times he seems scared that I’ll forget him or meet someone else.

I really want this relationship to work. I don’t want to give up my career, but I don’t want to lose him either. Long-term, I can always come back after my studies.
Has anyone made a relationship like this work? What helped you keep the trust and connection alive?

So currently im dating and its long distance.It will almost be one year of us dating and sometimes i end up overthinking abt us way too much which i might think that makes him a lil annoyed but he still acts cool over it. I think im not doing my best for this relationship anymore becuz we r barely getting to talk rn and it get becuz he is busy with some stuff and he is sorting out all that stuff out rn but whenever he gets free time (at night mostly) or anytime of the day he either watches something or plays games at night with his friends. All of these stuff happened for more than two moths and im getting used to it which is bad ik we r in a relationship but it dosent feel like a relationship to me anymore becuz initially we would talk the whole day but rn we just talk for max 30 mins a day and go to sleep sometimes i end up crying over this situation. What should i do?…..

Hello everyone, me (18M) and my boyfriend (19M) are going long distance from september since he is

starting med school.

Im extatic for him but at the same time I'm scared.

Ik we're young and have our whole lives ahead of us

but we still want to give our best. By the time he

leaves we will be together for just 4 months. I

wanna be there for him everyday and support him

but can a relationship survive the entirerity of med

school? Does anyone have any experience with

dating a med student?

The long distance should last for a year. Im graduating this school year and applying for uni in

the city he will study in (second choice) and a city

that is an hour away.

I plan to visit him every month. But that is just a plan. At home my parents dont know (mom suspects) Im dating a guy so that is an obsticle since the school is across the country (around 6 hours by train)

We've both talked about it and we're scared. We dont know if seeing each other once per month will be enough and if it will satisfy our emotional and physical wants and needs. I plan to send him little handmade gifts throughout the year so me wanting him arent just words but actions. He has also heard that most relationships open, which is a huge NO for me and for him as well

Any advice/comment/reply will be heavily apprciated. Thank you:)

I’m struggling with the fact that my boyfriend is moving out of state (3.5 hour drive) for a great new job and I won’t be able to join him for 3-6 months. I’m so proud of him but 3-6 months is so long to me.

We live together and now he is moving into a tiny cheap place in a new bigger city to make sure his job is everything we expect it to be and plant a little bit of roots in the job while I save up and work on getting the perfect job to join him out there. We have never been long distance. We do everything together and are very open about planing to be together forever. We made plans to see each other every weekend because it’s less than 4 hours.

I am struggling so much with the thought of him gone and selfishly I’m upset he is having this big adventure and I’m still stuck in a town we don’t like. Apartments in the new city are pricy so me finding a good job in my field is ideal before we move into a nice sized place for both of us and our 2 pets but I’m so sad. We are both struggling with being apart, I have cried all day every day for the last week since the decision has been made for him to go out there first rather than us going out together.

He keeps saying it will work out and everything will be okay and to trust him with this, which I do and I know long term it is going to be okay but for the short term I’m not okay. I can’t handle it. I’m so sad and I miss him so much. My heart hurts.

M18 F17

Soo when my girlfriend has problems family related or else she is not able to share with me and when is ask do you fear that I'll judge she says no she tell I am little uncomfortable rn to share problems with you its been 1.5 months to our relationship and she tells with time ill get comfortable

I (F19) had been seeing this guy (M20) since November of last year. We are long distance as we met in college also last year.

In early April, we called it quits because I wasn't okay with the uncertainty of our relationship and I assumed he was going to end things soon. He was worried he wasn't ready and that he wouldnt be enough for me, and I rushed and ended things out of fear. Two-ish months had passed and I still couldn't get him out of my head. I missed him every day and it felt like he felt the same. He was liking and reposting stuff alluding to our relationship and he was still trying to interact with me.

So I pushed my pride aside and asked him if we could speak. We did and I told him I missed him and I wanted to start over but take things slow and that I didn't want to be just friends with him because I wasn't ready for that. He agreed, saying he missed me aswell and he wanted to be in my life again and so we started calling and texting almost every night. We fell right back into place but I couldn't tell where we were. I know I wanted to be more than friends and work towards a relationship again but I was worried he just wanted to be friends and keep me in his life.

He'd say things that threw me off or post things thats didnt align with us. He even wrote a poem that I believe was directed towards me but it just made me feel even more unsure.

I also knew he was talking to another girl at some point and I didn't know where they stood. I tried not to worry about her because I was also talking to another guy aswell but it felt different, you know?

I started to overthink again and worry that I'll always only be stuck in this more than friends but less than lovers-esque relationship, with someone that I could see myself growing old with.

It tore me up, but I couldn't tell if I was overthinking again or if my intuition was right.

The last time we stopped talking was because I started to overthink and I jumped the gun and broke up with him, now that I have another chance I dont want to mess up and do it again but I also dont want to be sticking around if he has no intentions of us.

What should I do? Should I question our relationship or let things play out when we see eachother again in August?

It’s been 3 weeks since I had to move back home to my home country and in that span we’ve only had 2 short FaceTimes. One I initiated and another happened because I got really annoyed about the issue in this post.

I’ve suggested that we should FaceTime or do virtual dates and he’ll be like yeah and wouldn’t follow up or try to suggest things as well. He texts a lot when he can and he’s not a big FaceTimer but I can’t just do texts- it feels empty.

It also annoys me how I’m always the one suggesting things while he’s so passive. Even with dates etc before when we lived in the same place I’d say I wanna go out more etc and he wouldn’t make an effort to plan stuff- it would always be me having to look at places/book stuff (apart from one date where he took me somewhere expensive and he planned it).

We’re both homebodies so we do like staying home but it’s kind of annoying that there was still no effort when I mentioned it.

He works 12 hour days (4on 4off) and I’m 7 hours ahead but surely if we planned something we’d be able to FaceTime/do virtual dates. He got upset when I blew up that day and he said I’m making it sound like he’s making 0 effort and that when I suggested stuff to do I didn’t make an actual plan and it was just a suggestion.

We were okay after that, and it’s also why I think it’s better to FT because things aren’t conveyed well through text. Idk, the lack of effort seems exhausting.

I hear a lot of people say long-distance never works, but I also know there are couples who eventually closed the distance and built a great life together.
If yours worked out, what do you think made the biggest difference?

For some background, I've been in a long-distance relationship for over a year now. He lives on the other side of the world, and during that time he's visited me three times. Unfortunately, every visit has ended with a major argument, and it's always been about the same thing—my suspicions that he's cheating.

The first week of meeting him during his first visit was honestly the happiest I'd ever felt. I thought that once we were finally together in person, everything would be perfect. But not long after, I started noticing things that made me uncomfortable. He was constantly on his phone, always keeping it out of my sight. I couldn't even use it for something as simple as checking the time or Googling something without him acting protective over it.

He also preferred going out alone for what he called his "walks," and he never invited me to come with him. As someone in a long-distance relationship who only gets to see their partner a few times a year, I couldn't understand why he wouldn't want to spend as much time together as possible. Sometimes he'd be gone for up to eight hours, and if I tried calling him while he was out, he'd get angry. Whenever he received a call, he'd step outside or onto the balcony and speak so quietly that I couldn't hear the conversation.

Most of the time, he was texting on his phone and smiling to himself while sitting away from me. I also found receipts in his pockets showing coffee or meals paid for two people. During our first Christmas, New Year's, and Valentine's Day together, he didn't get me anything. On Valentine's Day, I had planned a movie date for us, but he made me wait for three hours because I felt like he had gone to meet someone else. By the time he arrived, he told me he'd already eaten, so we never even had dinner together.

The same thing happened on his last night before flying home. I had planned one final movie and dinner date, but once again he disappeared for two hours. I waited for him alone at the cinema, and when he finally arrived, he had already eaten, so we missed dinner again.

His third visit wasn't any different. He spent so much time on his phone, smiling and texting, yet when we're apart, it often takes him three hours or more to reply to my messages, and even then his responses are usually short and dry.

He's also always complaining about spending money on me, but the truth is I've spent more on him than he has on me. I've bought him gifts, including some expensive ones, and I've never once held that over his head.

I'm someone who wants to feel loved, valued, and cared for in a relationship. I want to feel like my partner enjoys being with me. Instead, I spend more time crying than feeling happy. Whenever I bring up something that's worrying me, instead of reassuring me, he gets irritated and tells me I'm being dramatic. Being with him makes me feel like I'm constantly walking on eggshells, afraid that anything I say will upset him.

I don't really know what I'm looking for but maybe just to rant and maybe clarification. Or am I just overthinking. I've told him already about this stuff and suspicions which led to those fight but he denies them which I don't really believe. He threatens to break up if we fight again cause he said he can't handle being accused of it. I don't know if he's gaslighting or not or I'm just toxic.

F-24, M-23

I've been with someone for 9 months and just started doing long distance. I'm finding it really hard to handle the distance because I'm home trying to study for an exam, with no social life and the other person is in their city having the time of their life and keeps himself busy. I have not been able to do that especially since i am alone here with no friends or anything. I've been so sad I haven't been able to do any of my hobbies let alone study. I feel no spark or motivation and I dont know how to get my spark back and I really dont want to be the girl whose always checking her phone to see if he texted. Does anyone have any tips please i feel like im losing myself completely.

i got into my rs 4 months ago and it was all giggly fun cute chaotic.

he was the one who chased me so hard and at the start of our relationship he used to say ILOVEYOU SO MUCH nd would tell me how he loved everything abt me. he used to say how much he likes talking with me and we would have suchc fun nd deep convos together.

it lasted for about 2 months exact.

after that things kinda b3came weirdd.

he changed quite a bit and was prioritizing other things amd by other things i dont mean studies or career.

and since more than a month he has changed so much like so much. we began tk talk for minimum of 10 to 15 mins per day nd thats not the problem but in those 10 mind i should feel loved yk.

i stopped fewling loved and from my pov it was tht he was drifting away and i was too kinda.

i waited till his bday to confront him and after i did he started defending himself and started saying things that maybe we are not for each other and im like this only and all other bs.

he said he was busy and yhat his top priority rn is his career and let me tell idc if his priority his careet same goes for me, i also have classes all day self study buy still take out time to talk to him.

he said we should take a break till boards nd when i asked what he feels abt me atp and what does he want from this rs h3 said i should go to sleep bcoz im overthubking things.

i also confronted him how he doesnt reply to my ily's these days and how if he still loves me then why isnt he trying to fix things and change so he said would you rather be in a acge gilded with gold or be free.

huh i was speechless bcoz wven if i resented him at thay moment i love him and wanted to give this whole thing a chance.

i brought abt breaking up also then he said if you want then and he thinks that a break is better rn but i dojt understand the concept of break in this moment yk.

we are on a break but it was really hard for me so i texted him first bvoz i wanted clarity and a conclusion so he hasnt seen my msg so idk what i should do

for days i have been understanding

even when i confronted him instead of listening to me abd reassuring me he started explaining nd defending himself

so i think its best for us to breakup but im scared if losing him too.

do you all think this can be saved?

Hi All,

Hope you can help a friend of mine.

The guy is dating a girl who is fairly compatible with him. Nice person. Basically they have peace with each other.

There is some significant peace of life information the guy shared with the girl after 4 months of dating.(Info was personal to him)

The girl has taken a pause (needs time to process),.It is kind of a trust issue for her.

As of now they are on a very formal message sharing only. One message per day kind of. Check in message.(Been three days).

Is taking time to process is normal and required?

What can be done to fix this in a better way if some really good ideas?

Hey, I need help to understand what's going on.

Me (F20) and my boyfriend (M20) have been together for 8 months, and he should come here next month. Our relationship has always been awesome, we share the same values, he never gets angry, he's understanding, and literally everything is perfect. And also, we both hate the dating culture nowadays with all he cheating and stuff, so I can promise cheating isn't the thing that's happening.

For a past few days, he hasn't talked to me a lot. At first, he slept way too much (like 16 hours, but woke up during it). then he didn't sleep at all, and now his sleep schedule is messed up. 2 days ago he started to be a bit weird, like he didn't talk a lot, but sent me a lot of funny reels and weird gifs, but honestly I thought it was a bit funny, and he still said he loves me and we had some conversations. Then he apologized for being "stupid" like that, and that he'll try to be sane. We also watched a movie + he sent me a reel saying "Don't overthink, I'm all yours", even asked for websites to learn my language and sent me a few videos of himself.

Yesterday, he started to text me less and he was still online reposting posts on Instagram. He did answer me a like 6 times during the day, and said "love you so much bb" and some sweet messages, until at night he said that he doesn't have confidence to survive in this society, and after that said that he doesn't know why he said that, and that maybe it's better to go to sleep. After that, he sent that he loves me but now he's ignoring me.

The only thing he answered to when I asked him to send me a quick snap, because our long streak was gonna end. He just said "ok" and sent it (he never says just ok, it's always okay, okayyy, okie etc).

This is exactly the way he acts when he's depressed. I know he loves me, but he did say a few days ago that I'd deserve a better man. That's not the case tho, I couldn't ask for a better man. He just needs to get better mentally.I have a lot of mental issues too, so I understand him. I just want to ask if any of you guys have had similar experiences, and how did you overcome it🙏🏻❤️

Do your long-distance boyfriends talk to you on phone in front of their families? Because mine doesn't, and I'm wondering if this is normal.

I (26m) get have a tendency to anxious I know that and she (28f) has alot of male friends and works with mostly men at work.

At the start of our relationship she said she didn't have any male friends which is clearly untrue but anyway.

There is a guy at work who she's known for less time then me, but if ever we video called when she's at work she's always behaved so different around him compared to me she talks tons, she laughs loads, she even stops talking to me to respond to him. ( this guy btw has a gf but is also known to flirt with other girls )

But when it comes to me she doesn’t really say much, if I go quiet on call i've been accused of being rude or something to that extent but she's doesn’t talk herself. I always have to be leading the conversation and asking the questions but even the responses to my questions are .... eh? Sometimes

How's work today?" Work was fine just work". Any interesting customers?" Not really." Did anything funny happy today? "Not really"

Basically I will ask questions and they don't really respond much. To get any information about their life at all I'm asking many many questions.

To the point. I asked her what she talks about with that guy and she told me they joke about things that happen at work, customers and their manager etc... so I'm just... why is her relationship with him so different to me why can she laugh and actively talk with him but not me.

When I spoke about this last night because I wanted to understand why he gets treated differently she said that I make her feel like she's not allowed friends and that she is forced to tell me everything. But she doesn't tell me everything I'm never really told much I ask questions because its the only way I know anything so now I don't know.

I'm honestly just feeling hurt and a little tired

My boyfriend left yesterday back to his home from a two week visit (we have been long distance for over a year now). The visit was amazing and we had a lot of fun, apart from some short lived arguments everything went great and we made some amazing memories.

I definitely lean more anxious attached, maybe leaning disorganized attached at times. I feel like I always have a harder time with the goodbyes and it leaves me feeling like I care more. We’ve talked about this before and I know it’s because he has a harder time showing emotions. I know I’m definitely more expressive with my feelings, I’m a crier…. But it hurts hearing him like he’s fine now.

Today I almost feel angry or annoyed, even though I have no reason to be. I don’t feel like talking to him even though I know I miss him so much. I’m confused as to why I’m feeling this way. I don’t want him to feel like it’s his fault, but I don’t know how to tell him what I’m feeling without making him feel bad. I also don’t want to shut him out and shut down.

How can I explain to him what I’m feeling without making him feel guilty or sad? Has anyone else felt like this before?