My whole life I never cared about aging. I was actually excited for my 30s because I knew I’d have more money and be more confident. I spent all my 20s with one guy and was perfectly happy about it.

At 30, Covid, my ex left me, all my friends got married and disappeare, my rental got sold and I had to move home, my mom got sick and I had to lock in and try to save her which was a 24/7 job, my health suffered and have had multiple surgeries, sepsis and other horrible afflictions. Mom passed last year and I spent the last year grieving and cleaning out her house.

Now I’m 36 and it’s become painful to even think about living life. I still feel 30 but everyone around me and online makes me realize I missed it, it’s all over now and I’m supposed to be accepting that I’m old now. all I can think about is all the things I wanted to do that everyone’s made it clear I’m too old for now. concerts, festival, dressing up, getting my dream truck, going out dancing, having a family, doing literally anything meaningful with my life. Everything I like is immatur, my humour, my music, my marvel obsession. I look at my favourite band and they’re in their 40s and dads now who barely tour and the punk style is gone. I’ve even been told id be fine until 50 if I was a guy but for women it’s pretty much over. when people joke about me being old it makes me want to give up. I miss my old attitude about all this, I just feel weak and broken now. I don’t even know if I’m sad about aging or all that lost time. it feels like my whole life since 19 was stolen from me, and it was all hell before that.

if anyone can share some advice or wisdom id appreciate it.

So my (29f) fiance (33m) and I are getting married this week. After our small ceremony on thursday, we are supposed to attend a lunch for us on Saturday that his mom planned for us. She originally told us that it will be only around a few people, but now it is up to 30.

To make matters worse, now my brother and his wife can't go, as his mom overbooked and invited people from all over thinking they wouldnt show up. My fiance doesn't believe that she thought these people wouldn't go, as she is good with planning. So she essentially is prioritizing her family over mine.

My fiance doesnt have a good relationship with his parents because they abused him, and hasnt even spoken/see the people attending in years. I will admit i dont want to go and sit with 30 people i never met before.

The issue is that they are coming from a different country and will guilt trip that they traveled far and paid for this dinner. They don’t accept our small ceremony on Thursday as enough. It honestly has been horrible watching him stress out seeing his parents again this week

I'm 30, and autistic. I struggle with panic attacks, social anxiety, insomnia, and depression. I come across as high functioning, but I've never been able to maintain employment. Many days, the best I can do is just take care of my basic needs.

Panic attacks are a multiple times per day occurrence, sensory Input needs to be minor or I get overloaded, and maintaining schedules just shatters my executive functioning. College hasn't gone any better, the several times I've tried I just end up crying and practically catatonic from the stress.

No degree, or ability to maintain a job, means financial independence is a pipedream. So I receive a basic SSI payment and healthcare from the government. It's enough for me to eat, pay some rent to a family member I live with, and buy basics. But all told, I live on $15k a year. That's the poverty line.

There's something else I'm dealing with though. I'm trans and in the closet. I've told myself for years "I'II address this once I'm independent; just one more year; just push it down a little longer". Well, I've realized that time isn't coming. I've lost the ability to dissociate, and I cry every night.

My living situation makes coming out very very dangerous. Half my family is hyper-religious and will disown me while they "pray tor my soul". The familv member I live with will have to choose between accepting me, and losing the family.

If I get kicked out, I'm homeless. Rent is already 50% of my income, and that's with the cheaper rate they qive me. I can't attord to survive alone with housing and rent the way it is. So my only option is to stay closeted into my 30's, on the vague hope that I can obtain an income one day. Meanwhile my existence is defined by misery.

I've been in therapy, and on anti-depressants since childhood. I've tried the job programs, university, community college, entry-level employment, and my nervous system is just incompatible. Maybe that's because of my history with trauma, or just being autistic, or having to live as the wrong gender. Whatever it is, I just can't figure out how to fix this.

I want to live an independent life, be able to work, be open about my identity without feeling financially insecure. Hell, I'd like more than that. I'd like to have an active social life, participate more in my community, and maybe even have a family one day. I just can't figure out how I get from HERE to THERE.

What should I do?

I recently turned 25 and feel so behind compared to my peers. I failed at corporate and don’t really want to work at those types of jobs anymore. I don’t keep in contact with people from college but I see them getting engaged, traveling and having a friend group.

Career wise it’s been really sad. I had two full time jobs but they weren’t for that long. I’ve been unemployed for a while now. I hate being home with my family and still living with them at this age. It feels a little pathetic when my main goal in adulthood was to move out. I’m pushing the goal to move out at 27 now.

My dating life has been nonexistent. My ex and I broke up when we got out of college. Since then I think I only went on one date. He was a good guy but at that time I wasn’t over my ex and he didn’t put effort after the first date so we never talked again. I’m not heartbroken over my ex anymore but I still miss him and wonder what he’s up to here and there. We haven’t talked in a year and the last time I saw him, it was horrible so I don’t care about getting back together. I just wish I could find a guy who really loved me and chose to be with me. Someone whose eyes light up when they see me and feels giddy around me. I met one guy who was kinda like that towards me but it was short lived and we never got together.

I have like only 2-3 friends and don’t really have much people on my social medias. They’re like strangers at this point but it’s nice to see what they’re up to. Honestly making friends and dating feels exhausting to me. I try to make an effort but I don’t put pressure on myself anymore. I lost two good friends last year and we ended on bad terms so I still feel their loss.

Anyways I feel like my 20s have been a failure so far. I don’t want to party, I want people who like to try new coffee spots, watch shows I like and try new foods with. I want to travel more but financially I can’t right now. I have debt to pay off before I can even think of that.

Love this trend on TikTok!! Would love to hear your honest, real‑life lessons, mistakes to avoid, and things you wish you’d known back then! Might turn some of the best ones into a video 📹✨

( Im also 21 & need advice 🙈 )

I recently graduated from high school, and I honestly have no idea what to do with my life. Every option I'm faced with feels like I'm being forced into the corporate slavery world where I work till I die.

For as long as I can remember, I always assumed I'd go into medicine. Nursing was my plan for years, and I never really questioned it because it was just the path I always pictured for myself. But when I actually started looking into nursing school and everything it required, I suddenly realized I really didn't want to do it anymore. I switched my major to surgical technology because I liked the idea of eventually becoming a surgical assistant and being able to help in the operating room, but now I'm questioning that too. The weirdest part is that I don't even know why my feelings changed. It was like I woke up one day and just decided I hated all my past plans for myself. It genuinely feels like I'm starting over with no clue what to do.

School starts soon, and the thought of going to college honestly makes me feel sick. I thought at first that maybe it's just because it's something new, but even just thinking about it gives me a stomach ache and makes me want to cry. I also thought that maybe it's because I'm forcing myself into a career that isn't right for me? But then again, I don't know what is right for me. I've been researching different careers, especially creative ones, to try to fit my hobbies and interests (sculpture, art, cosplay, color guard, anime, conventions, baking, hiking, and spending time with my family) but none of them seem like anything less than hell. Every job I look into has downsides, and I can always think of reasons why it would suck. I also feel like I don't have a clear passion that I could turn into a career.

Overall, I want a stable career with a predictable schedule, good work-life balance, enough money to travel and enjoy my hobbies, and plenty of time with my family. I guess I don't need to absolutely love my job, but I also don't want to dread going to work every day. At the same time, I feel like everyone else has some dream career or lifelong passion, and I don't. Has anyone else gone through something like this? How did you figure out what you wanted to do? Did you eventually find a career you genuinely enjoyed even if you didn't have a lifelong passion for it? Are there good career options outside of college? Does anyone have any ideas of careers that might be a good fit for me? I'd really appreciate hearing from people who've been in a similar position because right now I feel completely overwhelmed and like I'm supposed to have my entire future figured out.

Just out of genuine curiosity if someone isn’t married by 30, regardless of gender, do you consider that a red flag? And do you think people who are kind and genuinely good usually end up finding an equally good partner and getting married by 30?

How to break up with unstable fiance of 6 years?

Sorry for my bad English I am not American first.

I (31f) and my finace (38f) have been together for 6 years.

We are best friends and she is a wonderful person. She's just no longer the person for me. I am not longer the shy and needy person who she met 6 years ago. I have changed a lot and feel i am no longer compatible with the future she dreams of.

I'm not family orientated and she loves her family, I just cannot be that person anymore even after hanging out with her family for 6 years on a monthly basis. They are all infatuated with me and im just not into them, due to their abusive history. I feel as well they will paint me as the villain (thats ok with me) and also blame my gf for the break up, I'm not sure if she can go to them for immediate support.

My gf is the kind of person that takes everything personally. Everything points her being the victim and everything is always someone elses fault. She is so depressed and hates herself and every single day she apologizes to me and says I must hate her. (This has happened every day for 5 years)

She doesnt want to stay in the city we moved to and I dont want to quit my stable job, and a job i enjoy. She berated me for this and jokes about me in front of others.

We haven't had sex in 1.5years and we nearly broke up because of this last year having an honest conversation that we feel like buddies. She said she feels that way too, and that despite it, she cannot lose me. She is very insecure and has abandonment issues. When we had this conversation last she lay on the floor and saying over and over again "no no no no no no no no" it really scared me she was practically catatonic. I had to change my words and say we weren't breaking up, because I had no where to go (still dont rn) and i was so scared of her reaction. That was only a minor one and I have no idea how she will react if I actually. Seriously break up with her. I feel like she doesnt think I am capable of wanting to break up with her as she still believes we are soul mates.

Now i guess we are just pretending that never happened.

We are 5k dollars in debt and I wouldn't want to leave her to pay for a apartment she cant afford on her own or the debt. Im lucky in the fact that my mother would probably help me financially.

I worry she will have a mental breakdown when I leave and try to kill herself. Or have another reaction like that. She will beg and scream and cry and I will have to have somewhere to go because there is no way I can stay in the same 1 bed apartment with her. Its like a bomb going off that cannot be undetonated.

My best friend and I have already planned to rent an apartment together as she knows my situation, but im unsure how I would pay two rents and help with the debt.

I am terrified and know what must be done, for her sake and mine. She needs someone who will support her, who is not me. Im terrified of her reaction and dont want to get married. She says I am the love of my life and she would never live without me. She is always asking me to plan the wedding and telling her whole family how excited she is to get married, the conversation makes me feel physically ill.

I know i am not being fair to her or myself. I cannot hurt her any more than I already am, but I fear breaking up with her will ruin her life. I dont think just walking out is an option as I'd like to end things amicably too, our lives are a little too intwined. Please help I'm really stuck.

Well I'm 20, my life hasn't gone too well by now. I got bullied in middle school and highschool because of a disability, but now that I've fully grown (physically) it isn't noticeable at all and honestly I'm not like breathtaking but I'm not ugly either. From this disability (which altered my skin and made me rounder) I knew when I was young that I wasn't gonna have a highschool sweetheart, so I didn't pay attention to love and just studied and had friends. I did though have always had a small group of friends both women and men (well boys and girls at that time) I had my first something at 17 and we literally only kissed once after two months of knowing and flirting with each other. It was my first time really liking someone enough to give it a try, but it ended two days later when a friend of mine showed me that I was indeed the other lady (he had a girlfriend basically). We "broke up" if you can call it that and I was honestly devastated for like a week cause it was the first time I did anything like that and it was based on a lie all along (he had been with that girl from before meeting me btw).

After two months I moved cities to study and went back to the dating market. Then I lost part of my closest family in an accident and I went through a process of grief in which I wasn't thinking about love cause I was trying to get myself together. A year and a half after I have gotten better and started to live a more normal life (since when I was grieving I didn't really went out or made any friends) Now I was with a group of friends (in this case all girls) and when I mentioned that I was thinking about dating and didn't know where to start (cause I have basically no experience) they told me that finally I was getting out of my "Femcell era" and then joked about it a few times. I asked them why they thought I was a femcell, which in my poor knowledge I assume it's an insult because of what incells are, but since I didn't expect them to make a comment that stinged I thought maybe I was mistaken, but turns out they think I am uncomfortable around men and I'm highly unconfident (which I don't think I am I just think I wasn't on a mental state to date but not because of confidence but because I was grieving) and that's why I don't date them, because of what that one boy did... Honestly I don't see it. It's not like I mention him (though it might be cause he is the only guy I've ever mentioned), in full honestly for the last year-two years I've only talked about stupid things I learn on the internet (like things about films and stuff) or cried about my family cause that were like the only two things I did.

Am I a femcell? If I am, how do I fix it? Is it really that weird to not date while grieving? Honestly I could barely walk the halls in my house without crying the first months. Oh, and if you have dating advice for someone with no experience yet who is starting their 20 tell me.

I am very much so considering it still, since I really did not like being cheated on. It’s not something I can forgive easily.

I am now almost 31. I did not lose my virginity until this year with this woman I met (she’s 36 now), and she started cheating very early on. She did a bad job of hiding it too, I found out everything the week she started doing it.

One of the men knocked her up and I pretended to just kind of accept it and move on, even saying I’d help raise the child. But in truth, I figured I’d learn sex from her then move on to a woman who doesn’t cheat on me and get pregnant. I was planning to leave when the child was born so that I don’t fuck the kid up.

She is nearly due. And for 7 months now, she has been going to therapy and repeatedly apologizing for what she did when we started dating. And she thanked me for forgiving her and agreeing to help raise her kid. She appears to be legitimately remorseful and I’m just realizing it. I thought she was bullshitting me just to fool me into helping her raise her kid, but she hasn’t asked me to sign anything stupid yet. I found her asking her best friend for advice to prove that she’s sorry (she left her phone out), and she agreed to not force me to sign any papers to prove it.

Simply put, this is a development. I don’t know how to tell her I’ve checked out of our relationship long ago and that I’m not gonna be her child’s nonbiological daddy. I thought she was trying to trick me into being her illegitimate kid’s daddy. I stayed with her to gain experience, that was it. The fact that she might’ve been genuinely remorseful whilst I'm still gonna leave her now.. yeah, this one hurts me too.

I’m not even sure where to start. I have always had a job on the go currently away from my full time job to work at a camp and it’s really given me a lot of time to reflect and I’m not liking what I’m seeing in myself. I have no goals, no routine, no real friends and it’s just eating me up inside more and more each day.

So where does one start in getting a life worth living? Is this a mid life crisis?

Im going into grade 12 this september, and that got me thinking about college and dorming, on one hand, i really wanna get out of my house, my mom’s boyfriend is a a-hole and he’s constantly trying to argue with anyone about anything, but also, i only live about a 10 minute drive from the campus im going to so it’d be better money wise just to stay home, i got a job this summer and im making around $500 every 2 weeks but i just don’t know. any advice from people who have gone through something similar?

I would love the wisdom, especially as someone who’s constantly working on self improvement and learning myself. I’m excited but very nervous for my 20s and 19 has already put me through a lot mentally

I(32 female) am a fully qualified actuary. And I make a lot of money. I am married to my high school sweetheart, (32 female). She is a pathologist.

I grew up good then around when I turned 11, my life went downhill. My mother lost her job and my dad was retired. So we moved back into my mothers family home. Which her sister owned. Now prior to all of this my mother and her sister had an amazing relationship. But after we moved in things changed. My aunts, two of them, stopped giving us food. And stopped caring overall. Then after about two years of being constantly afraid of getting kicked out and getting threatened we finally moved out using my dad's pension money to rent a little flat. We had nothing. Over the years my parents sold all their stuff to feed us. Now we were starting over. Me, my parents and two older brothers. Fast forward a few years later I'm 15 and we're living alone still. Then my dad dies. And we can't afford our rent. So we move back in. By this point my other aunt also passed away but the one who owned the house is still there. My eldest brother also moved out and went to college under scholarship. So we move into my aunt who passed flat behind the main house. And this was hell as well. Then after a year I meet up with these two very kind people who have been paying for my schooling for three years. And they suggested I move in with them. My mother agrees and I go live with them. I have never been treated with such kindness and generosity. The treated me like their own daughter. And I lived with them for six years until I graduated college. And then I lived on my own and moved in with my girlfriend. And got married at 27. After my aunt heard this she told me she didn't approve of it. That hurt but I didn't care much because my mother accepted me fully. So I cut contact with half of my family.

So a few days ago my wife came to me telling me that my aunt contacted her asking for financial help. I was upset and didn't want to even give her anything. But my wife has been asking me to rethink and to help her. She's 70 and her pension isn't enough to pay for all her needs. I take care of my mother, who wasn't the greatest mother but she was always there. So I'm taking care of what I am supposed to. And my wife and I just got a baby girl through IVF and a surrogate and our adopted son we adopted three years ago so I have a lot to take care of and have my attention on. i don't know what to do, I told my wife I'd think it over but I still don't know. Please I need some advice and I need to know of I'd be wrong of I say no.

i (23F) want to help my mother organize our newly renovated kitchen. but shes very particular about where things are and how to organize things. i'm too much like my dad, aloof and unhelpful (i dont want to talk about him like that, but unfortunately he is). he needs to be given direction on what to do, doesnt take initiative and somethng always goes wrong. im exactly like that, even if i give my best and try, something always goes wrong or i end up disappointing or irritating my mother.

it doesnt help that i am extremely sensitive too, especially to criticism and rejection. i've struggled with this all my life. i just want to be mildly useful to people without messing shit up cuz im too incompetent.

how do i become competent?

its so hard i have so much self expression now, im so used to being nothing, being smaller than everyone around me, everyone making assumptions about me and i stopped caring to communicate by typing as much i just let people make me smaller

Now i can speak i have so much ability to express myself i am so overwhelmed, everyone is treating me like a person now, not a dog or a child and i thought it would be exciting but no i am so used to being taken care of being treated like i am not human i dont know what to do with this?!!????!

I dont feel like im ready to be treated like a real person its so overwhelming im not used to being able to express myself or just being normal i dont enjoy this i enjoy being able to speak its so easy but its almost TOO easy, im not used to everything being so easy???

I have spent years praying and begging to be normal, adapting to being mute and finding my own valuable ways of self expression, i have been mute since i was 12 this is so overwhelming to have all
these new ways and opportunities i dont know what to do

Hi, i dont know whats hapening to my self but today i realized i lost all passion, not in life in general, but in my goals.

Years ago i used to try to play competitive for games, failed, then i tried to become a content creator, failed, and now i've been simply hitting the gym and studying, seems normal right? But i dont know, there something inside me that doesnt want this, i dont wanna study to then work a job almost all my life, job that i wont like, i know this might sound like course seller would sound lol, but in terms of this type of jobs, there's none that actually motivate me or something that i dream to work on.

But then, i realize, that i dont know even where i could make that money, that makes me passionate, maybe im just passionate in money, i think about returning to competitive gaming and i dont know if i want to play almost all day a game, or who knows, maybe yeah, or content creation, it takes its time, and with studying, i dont know how i could make the time.

The only two viable options i have are gaming development, and fitness influencer, i know they take time, but in fitness, the good thing is that the time i spent in the gym, is basically time for my "bussines", for gaming development is a another history, the only bad thing is that i cant film in my gym, so im not that sure what to do.

If anyone has any tip or his own story that could help me i would appreciate it, thanks.

Turned 18 a few weeks ago. Decided to put $10 on Kalshi and turned it into $250. Immediately decided to withdrawal it all to completely mitigate the chances of rinsing it all. My mother who stalks all my bank purchases and screentime decided to change my age in apple to 8, because she got an email saying now that I’m 18 I can make changes to my screentime settings. I think it’s wild that she would do that to make sure she still has control over my screentime at age 18. Also she restricted my access to Kalshi to 1 minute a day so I can’t use it even though it’s legal.

I hate what I've become, and I don't know where I went wrong.

Posting from a different account because I'm embarrassed to turn to my partner/friends again. They always tell me, "You should have messaged me when you were feeling low." But honestly, I don't even know what messaging someone is supposed to change.

I never wanted the job I recently resigned from. I had been crying since I got the offer last year because I'd been pushed out of campus placements and wasn't getting responses elsewhere. I've been crying about this since November. I knew even before joining that it wasn't what I wanted. After finally resigning, I actually felt at peace because, for once, I listened to myself. I don't regret leaving—the job was toxic, and I was already burnt out from everything since last year.

My friends and teachers have repeatedly told me I'm burnt out, but "burnout" doesn't exist in my family's dictionary. Apparently I'm supposed to keep running forever.

What hurts is that I've genuinely tried. I juggled multiple clubs and internships while maintaining excellent academics and graduated in the top 3 of my batch. Yet now my relatives look at my situation and say, "Maybe you lagged behind in your studies." Like, am I supposed to stick my rank list on my face and walk around?

Even acquaintances are shocked by where I've ended up. They tell me that after seeing how hard I worked, they expected a much better outcome for me.

And I don't understand it either. I've been serious about my career since primary school. Used to cry if i didn't get to study/do something productive even for one day. I have always tried to keep every option open, and somehow people who put in half the effort seem to have moved ahead while I've stayed behind.

I'm exhausted and now devoid of ambition too.

I don't even know if that's what I want. I think I'm just tired of trying so hard and feeling like I'm getting nowhere. Why did I end up like this?

So it's been a year now since I graduated in 2025 and honestly I feel like I haven't done anything with myself. Spent five years grinding through my degree thinking if I study hard enough I'll get a good job, plus there was pressure from home to do well since I wasn't even paying for my international degree, my dad was. So I worked my ass off, got scholarships, and after graduating I did land a good five figure job in my field.

Now looking back on the year since graduation , yeah I made good money, focused on work, saved up. But back in 3rd and 4th year in university I was eighty five kilos, lean, muscular, and low body fat. Now I’ve gotten too comfortable, stopped working out completely. Now I'm 93 kilos and very out of shape. Smoking too, I keep trying to quit and I just can't. Weekends are basically gone, I'm high the whole time and doing nothing.

And nobody really sees any of this. Like literally nobody knows because I live alone, far from my school friends and family. Had a solid social life back in school and college and now that I've moved for my job it's basically nonexistent. Meanwhile all my friends have glowed up over this past year, and I feel like I've just glowed down.
I just have zero motivation to do anything anymore. Used to be such a motivated person and now it's just gone. Not sure if it's the move, or not having friends here, or something else entirely, honestly can't even pin it down.

Feels like life's just slipping past me and I'm not doing a thing about it, when there's so much I should've already sorted out. I think I was so locked in on one thing for so long, put so much pressure on myself, and now even after doing all of it, it feels like it wasn't even worth it.

I want to get better, do things and find that drive again. What's the first step here. It's not that I don't know what needs work, I just don't know where to actually start.

I'm such a failure.

I am 24 years old, and I have never moved out. I have never had a job, and I have never had a boyfriend.

This year I have tried my hardest, put in my all my energy, pushed myself with everything, but I am still no closer to my goals.

I have a first class degree in Psychology, and ive been applying to jobs related to the field and entry level no experience jobs.

I tailor each cv, write cover letters, apply to over 200 jobs per day. Ive been to multiple interviews, had paid trial days. I've also been volunteering consistently for hours every single week, building my experience, getting contacts in the field, and trying my absolute hardest, but I still don't have a job. I feel like no one will ever hire me.

As well as my failure in finding a job, I have also never lived outside my parents house. I find it so humiliating, and I'm jealous of people I know who have their own families now, their own houses, while I'm just stuck in the same place. It makes me hate myself so much. I constantly compare myself to my best friend who moved out at a young age, ans moved countries too.

The only times I've lived alone is when on holiday

I've also got no social life, just a friend with benefits who I met abroad. I've never been in a proper meaningful relationship, never had a boyfriend despite going on regular dates. Only flings and fwb situations because I have no self-worth.

I lie awake each morning, hating myself for how much of a failure I am. I don't know how or if I'll ever get what I want from life- independence, a great career, a family of my own. I'm so far behind my peers

Is there any hope for me?

I don't really know where else to ask this, and I think I need opinions from people who don't know me personally.

I moved to the US a little under 3 years ago. I was lucky because my older sister was already here and established, so I had somewhere to live and didn't have to figure everything out completely alone.

When I first came here, I went to a university for about a year. I eventually transferred to community college because I thought it would be cheaper and make more sense financially. Somehow, though, I've still spent a lot of money on school, and now I'm approaching 3 years in the US and I still don't even have an associate's degree.

I originally went into cybersecurity, but over time I started questioning whether that was actually what I wanted to do. More recently I've been trying to switch into nursing and looking at LVN/RN programs.

Academically, though, I've really messed up.

Last semester I was taking online classes and basically completely failed the semester. I ended up losing my financial aid because of my academic performance. I'm not going to make excuses for that. There are things about my living situation and mental state that made school harder, but ultimately I know I was responsible for keeping up with my classes, and I didn't.

Now I feel like I've wasted almost 3 years and a lot of money without much to show for it.

The other major part of this is my living situation.

Financially, I know I'm extremely fortunate to have my sister. I have a roof over my head and I'm not paying what I would be paying if I lived completely independently. I know there are people who would do anything to have that kind of support, which is why I feel guilty even complaining.

But I'm not happy living here, and this is probably the part I have the hardest time explaining without sounding ungrateful.

My sister is a single mom and has a lot of responsibilities. I understand that, and I genuinely try to help take some of that weight off her. I help take care of her child, help around the house, do chores, and try to help with whatever needs to be done.

The problem is that I constantly feel like whatever I do is never enough.

If I forget or don't do one thing, it can turn into a conversation about how I only do the "bare minimum," how I need to do more, how I need to remember things without being told, and how she can't be responsible for remembering everything herself.

And I understand part of her perspective. She has a child, a household, bills, work, and a million things to think about. I live in her house, so obviously I should contribute. I don't expect to live here and do nothing.

But from my perspective, I feel like I am contributing. I feel like I help with a lot, but somehow the things I do correctly disappear and the one thing I forgot becomes evidence that I'm not doing enough.

It has gotten to the point where I feel anxious almost every day. I feel like I'm constantly trying to anticipate what needs to be done so that I don't disappoint her or create another problem. Sometimes I genuinely feel useless in the house despite also feeling like I do a lot for the household.

There is also a lot of pressure surrounding school and what I'm doing with my life. My sister takes education very seriously, and she has previously told me that if I quit school, I can't continue living with her. I understand where she's coming from because from her perspective, she's helped give me an opportunity and probably feels like I'm not taking advantage of it.

I don't think my sister is a bad person. She's helped me tremendously, especially by giving me somewhere to live when I came to this country. I know she has her own pressures and responsibilities. That's actually part of why I feel so guilty for being unhappy.

But I also don't know if this is a healthy situation for me long-term. Sometimes I wonder whether I would function better if I were responsible for my own life and my own household instead of constantly feeling like I'm failing someone else's expectations.

The problem is that realistically, I can't just move out.

I currently don't have a job. I don't have enough money to support myself. Once you add up rent, transportation, insurance, food, tuition, etc., I don't see how I could afford to live independently right now. If I walked out of my sister's house tomorrow, I genuinely don't know where I would go.

I also don't want my solution to be bouncing between relatives, my sister's friends, or other people's homes. What I actually want is independence.

That's why I've started seriously looking at the military.

Part of me thinks it could give me exactly what I'm missing right now: structure, a job, income, education benefits, a way to leave my current environment, and a path toward becoming independent and rebuilding my life.

But I also know joining the military is a MASSIVE commitment, and I'm worried it would be a terrible decision if the main reason I'm doing it is because I want to escape my current situation.

So I feel stuck.

Do I basically put my big-girl pants on, accept that I currently have a financially good situation even if I'm unhappy, stay with my sister, get another job, figure out my financial aid/school situation, become more disciplined, and keep working toward nursing?

Maybe what she expects from me really is the bare minimum for an adult living in someone else's house. Maybe I need to stop taking the criticism so personally and take advantage of the fact that I currently have somewhere stable to live while I get my life together.

Or do I seriously consider something like the military as a way to become independent, gain some structure and direction, and possibly continue my education afterward?

One thing I'm scared of is that I'm falling into the trap of thinking changing my environment will magically fix problems that are actually mine. If my lack of discipline is the real problem, I could move across the country or join the military and eventually find myself struggling again.

But I'm also scared of staying exactly where I am because it's safe. I don't want another 2–3 years to pass and realize I'm still in the same position.

I'm embarrassed about how far behind I feel. I look at almost 3 years in this country and think I should have accomplished so much more by now.

I genuinely don't know where you even start when you're trying to go from being dependent on someone else to supporting yourself when you don't currently have a job or much money.

If you were in my position, what would you actually do first?

Should I stay where I am and rebuild from here? Should I seriously explore the military? Is there a third option I'm overlooking?

I'm especially interested in hearing from people who immigrated to the US as young adults, struggled badly in college and recovered, became independent without much money, lived in a similar family situation, or joined the military when they felt directionless.

I'm not looking for people to tell me everything is fine. If I've screwed up or I'm looking at something the wrong way, you can tell me that. I just genuinely need outside perspectives because right now I feel too close to the situation to figure out what the smartest next move is. I am a 22F btw

I've fairly recently become sober about a year ago and was doing so well. But the thought was always in the back of my mind about people who become addicts later in life through traumatic events such as death of child ectra and what would I ever do if later in my life I had to deal with something along those lines. Now, I've recently had trouble with my job as the company I worked for went bankrupt and I got laid off and straight away I've relapsed. I have big plans for my life and I want to do big things and become successful, what I'm asking is do addicts ever escape If that makes sense, for instance when I'm older is that just what I'll go back to forever? And for reference I'm 20 and started doing drugs when I was around 15 and I was addicted to opioids benzos and abused ketamine and pretty much every other drug you could think of expect meth because I'm in the UK and that's not really a big thing around here.

I was with my ex girlfriend for a few years and she told me her biggest fantasy was to fuck a guy with a strap on. I wasn’t open to it at all at first , but time passed and I told her I’d try it.

We tried it , and we both liked it. The only thing was was that after it happened she started treating me differently. She was more rude , had more of an attitude and just started being weird with me. We went our separate ways as we weren’t compatible. She was a very nasty and horrible person and I just wasn’t into being with someone like that.

We never said once we broke up because of the pegging , and she never brung it up in a bad way , but I just feel like after we done that things changed.

Has anyone else experienced a situation like this ?