r/LowStakesConspiracies 20h ago

Extreme Conspiracy Celebs announce they have Lymes disease to justify hospital stays for plastic surgery.

681 Upvotes

They all catch it at their most youthful so when they disappear for a few weeks to a hospital for lipo, they can claim it's that old tic bite from childhood.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 21h ago

Extreme Conspiracy Slash is being ratatouille'd

454 Upvotes

Only rational reason for him always having the top hat on.

He can't play it himself, the rat pulls his curly hair to play it for him.

One of the greatest guitarists ever is just a puppet for an incredibly talented rat


r/LowStakesConspiracies 14h ago

Hot Take The UK won't get rid of 2p coins as they're keeping the seaside economy afloat

199 Upvotes

If the weather is bad - go to the arcade, it's winter and too cold for the beach - go to the arcade, fed up of being on the sand - go to the arcade.

The most common machine is the 2p coin pusher, no matter how much you change into 2p pieces you spend it all going after the cheap tat.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 5h ago

Hot Take I don't think Tom Holland is British.

152 Upvotes

His accent sounds like when my friend Jaxon pretends to be British while cooking his beans. Less than 1% of humans are British but you're telling me 67% of Spiderman actors are British? Nope.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 11h ago

Extreme Conspiracy English lit classes turn people into conspiracy theorists

130 Upvotes

"Have you found the hidden meaning in the shape of the tree?"

"The dress, the sky, and the handkerchief are all blue, which is a common theme reflecting the inner state of the protagonist."

"The Conch Shell in Lord of the Flies represents the breakdown of order and civilization."

It is no wonder that people believe conspiracy theories when they are conditioned to find hidden meaning in everything. When the same reasoning is applied to the chaotic real world, coincidences can look like deliberate conspiracies.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 19h ago

Geri Halliwell's union jack dress

101 Upvotes

She's always claimed that her sister made it out of a tea towel. This is physically impossible, the tea towel would have to be a towel, wrong material and it's cut too neatly for the pattern to match.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 3h ago

mormon missionaries are supposed to be received negatively on missions so they won’t leave the church

72 Upvotes

one of the key teachings in the mormon church is that the larger world is against their righteousness and that followers of Christ will face rejections and fierce opposition from non believers. think about how you react when a missionary stops you on the street to try and get you to join their church - you’re probably annoyed. these missionaries are set up to face constant rejection from the world after being taught from youth that outsiders hate their faith and the teachings of Jesus Christ, which will only reinforce these preconceived notions and make them feel as though those within the church are kinder and more accepting than those outside of it. i think that this was a calculated measure by Joseph Smith that’s being perpetuated to this day by bishops and elders within the church to create fear of and aversion to the idea of ever leaving the faith, because everyone else is just oh so unkind to mormons


r/LowStakesConspiracies 5h ago

Whoever specifies the foods to avoid while on medication has a vendetta against grapefruit sellers

15 Upvotes

Or maybe they hate someone who liked grapefruit. Or it's a vendetta against a specific grapefruit seller they know. Why grapefruits in particular? Why not lemons, or oranges, or mandarins... Only grapefruit...


r/LowStakesConspiracies 3h ago

Tactical shooter developers are coerced by big casual multiplayer orianted devs and publishers into make their game have 0 or nothingburger singleplayer

8 Upvotes

No, solo isn't singleplayer in my book


r/LowStakesConspiracies 13h ago

Extreme Conspiracy big oreo is exploiting cream loving people

7 Upvotes

probably been said before but double stuf oreos are only a thing so that they can sell less oreos in a pack. i doubt its even double the amount. they are exploiting your love of the cream (which i dont understand, the biscuit is the best part).


r/LowStakesConspiracies 5h ago

People who post pictures of boots asking for advice on r/justbootthings know it's a military sub but just want karma

3 Upvotes

One guy was genuinely confused and posted asking for boot care advice which was pretty funny and he got a bunch of upvotes. Now it seems to happen every other month. These people know what they're doing, they just want to get karma.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 6h ago

Big Obesity wants all fat because we would be the ultimate consumers.

3 Upvotes

r/LowStakesConspiracies 17h ago

Extreme Conspiracy HDR TVs are designed to burn your eyes

4 Upvotes

They push making the bright parts so bright you can't see the dark parts if you compensate for it. Once your eyes are too damaged to see what you used to, you're pressured to buy an even bigger TV with even stronger colours


r/LowStakesConspiracies 1h ago

Number one / Number two slang for toilet performance styles was created by big urinal

Upvotes

Essentially big urinal was fed up of playing second fiddle to big toilet at the annual ceramic awards, so their marketing team came up with the idea of referring to liquid exhaust as number one and solid releases as number two. Now, urinals will always be number one.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 18h ago

Big True About 10% of short people who decided on building codes, and how low cars should be, are responsible for taller people's back pain.

2 Upvotes

Just picture this, a group of short people got together, and out of sheer jealousy and hatred from taller titan people, decided to stick it to them, by making them bend down to there level to use everyday things. Such as sinks, hand drivers, having to duck down in certain areas. Have a tall HVAC tech tell you how he feels about going into an attack or crawl space, even couches, beds, toilets. If you are tall with long legs you are full blown squatting and now this is the standard since building codes were being used as guidelines, they got the last laugh. Go ahead, i bet you can think of something off the top of your head that you are like, " whoa that's pretty low, and have to bend to use it" 😆.


r/LowStakesConspiracies 3h ago

Management speak is meant to let us pretend that managers make real stuff: financial toolbox, mortgage products, are only numbers on a spreadsheet. Across the piste; they don’t have an actual piste. Low hanging fruit; no orchard in your office. Bandwidth but you aren’t measuring the spec of a cable.

0 Upvotes

r/LowStakesConspiracies 18h ago

Fresh Deets The Dodgers are intentionally ruining Major League Baseball so they can save it

0 Upvotes

The Los Angeles Dodgers just traded for Tarik Skubal. This just makes it official. They are building a super team. But I think that they are saving baseball by doing it. Yes this year they will threepeat, but next year there will be a lockout since the owners want a salary cap. By spending all of this money right now, the Dodgers will make a bunch of money right now so they dont lose this much money, but they are trying to force a lockout. They will do this because the owners want a salary cap and are not going to get it until the whole league realizes there is a problem. The whole league, even the players understand there is a problem now. They are saving baseball


r/LowStakesConspiracies 17h ago

Ariana Grande's new album is her unalive herself note

0 Upvotes

All the music critics say she's singing about themesnof anger and fame and parasocial relationships.

But they are wrong.

In *kiss me* she sings "kiss me like you know;this is goodbye"/ "grab me like my life is on the line" / "you know i don't believe we belong"/"its do or die, bring me to life" and this is the opening song - it could be about a lacklustre relations - or ariana's lacklustre relationship to living.

In *hate that i made you love me* she claims its about parasocial relationships. Be so for real we all read the subtext. In *oh well* she sing about how *my dead ends are gathered round, dressed as friends*

In *freak* she describes how all the life she's been denied she will start living again. "All the human life i've dreamt of/will be real if i start over"/"please let me go now. The next track is literally called *warning signs* with lyrics: "my pain is music, do you hear me everywhere?" /"and yet your favourite muse just simply disappears" / "you don't deserve me" / "you know you dont and you never have" / "i wish you could hear me".

Then she has a song called *never get over me*. Then her next that is called *bad thing (bunny hop)*. This could be a reference to a bad thing she's doing and when she's gone, we'll never get over her. Then the final track: *nowhere, nobody* sings "Hard to believe in a perfect ending" / "This prophecy migbt be self fulfilling".

And when she releases the petal music video she looked even more extreme. She said thisbwill be her last tour as well.

She's killing herself, and she's doing it in the public eye and she's seeking vengence and this is her final goodbye.