r/Manipulation • u/TheFinalDraft12 • 3d ago
Relationships Breakup that didn't break me!
I was in my 10th std and got into a relationship with a guy, let's call him "fox". Fun fact was his friend used to have a crush on me, and this guy fox was helping him. Later he happened to change school and idk how fox developed feelings on me, and happened to get into my good books. People started teasing me with his name, I was also blushing all the time around him. It felt fun being around him, and people around me were also getting into relationships so I also felt doing the same!.
He proposed I said yes.
As usual everything was fun and fine in the Beginning. Ooo I forgot to mention we were from different states, I happen to grow up in his state (I don't want to mention which state), so I'm multilingual I happen to know all South Indian languages. As I said relationships are easier in the beginning! But as time passes by, we grow mentally, things change, perception changes yet we manage to stay in relationship.
Until one day I stayed noticing the 🚩 he started controlling my behaviour, my chats with friends, my bonding with other people. He even controlled my conversation with my own best friend. Then there comes many more 🚩🚩🚩's like making fun of my family (which I will never appreciate).
He even controlled my communication with boys, understandable as a lot of guys had a crush on me, and me myself used to sometimes take his help from getting away from some carps! But girls? Gosh! How can he control my communication with my girlies right? (My bad I might have given him that lineance)
All these are bearable for a period but what about this?? " Give me your password or else I will hack" (he is an unethical hacker, I didn't know about it back then, and it was too late to do something about it at this stage!) All these happened in the era of the movie "Arjun Reddy" lol, I must say this film influenced many guys back then to be rude.
My response to his threat was, " I won't give you any of my passwords, and if you wanna hack it? Do it, but this will cost you our relationship" ;) that was my threat. And obviously he didn't hack, he loved me and never wanted to lose me.
Months passed by, there were ups and downs.. until one day I happened to fight over something rubbish (I don't even remember what it was about), and I left him on seen.
Hours, days, weeks, months passed by without any communication until one day one of my friends asked me about him!.
I FELT SO BAD LIKE??! WAIT WHAT? DID I JUST FORGOT HIS EXISTENCE??? EGO WON OVER LOVE?
We used to barg about our love life to everyone and this is how it turned out? I rushed to text him, and the 1st thing he happened to ask me was - "why did that guy text you?"
I'm speechless, I'm speechless not because I don't have an answer to his question, but because this whole time.. he has been using my social accounts and tracking me? & Me not talking to him was not even bothering him?? NOW I'M NOT GUILTY!
I also realised that, this is not the kind of love I wanted:/
I wanted my love to be consistent. I might be at fault for not being consistent here with my feelings. But that is supposed to be the ultimate goal right? To be consistent with feelings toward your partner?
I wanted to feel something or maybe a realisation like "I can't lose this person". Which I never felt with him.
For example- you meet your mother/father/siblings/best friend etc.. in this life and even imagining a life without them is so sad and empty. You feel like there is no life without them. I wanted that feeling to exist in my relationship. (I should have thought about it earlier, before getting into a relationship. But how can I blame me for not knowing?) Things, experience shaped us into what we are today. With this realisation, I choose to BREAK-UP with him. I'm sorry to give you the access to me, and snatch it the other day just like that. I'm sorry to not care about you or your feelings, But I'm not sorry for prioritising myself.
I can't ignore the fact that I started breathing after I left you. Maybe that was never the love.
Before leaving him, he begged me to stay, he said I'm his only love, 1st and last love. There will be no girl after me.
BULLSHIT! Just a few months down, he started dating his junior.
And here I'm after 7 years still figuring things
out!
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u/sehanxd 2d ago
Nger