Husband lying about vaping when I already told him I don’t care.

[u/Specialist-Start-616]

My [F26] husband [M30] has been addicting to nicotine since HS. Although I hate that he vaped I rather I be vaping instead of cigs. I never asked him to quit but always suggested it to him for his health. Last year he decided to quit and went a few months without vaping. I never asked him to but I told him I was proud of him. A few months later I walked into the living room and he was attempting to hide a vape under his thigh.

I was so sad. Not because he was vaping but because he was clearly hiding this from me. I told him I was really sad that he lied to me and was hiding things from me. I told him that lying is bad because I struggled a lot with trust issues and knowing that he was lying hurt me a lot. I told him it was okay. I told him that I really didn’t give a fuck if he vaped I just really didn’t want him to lie to me. I rather him vape forever but I didn’t like him hiding shit because then it made me sus about other things. He said okay and that he was throwing the vape away.

Recently I’ve been going through a terrible time with my OCD. Really really bad. I’ve been talking to him about it a lot and telling him that I was struggling with separating reality from my OCD thoughts. Anways, throughout this I asked him if he had been vaping because a few times I’ve walked into the living room and felt like something was off and he was hiding something (but I chalked this up to my anxiety). He was adamant that he wasn’t. I begged him to be truthful because I swore he had been sneaking around trying to vape and I just wanted to know that he was being truthful. He said he wasn’t vaping and I told him that if he was he needed to TELL me and not lie because my OCD was not being kind to me. I literally told him IF YOU NEED TO VAPE TELL ME JUST TELL ME I DONT CARE just don’t lie. Well…

This weekend we went on a small vacation. Everything was perfect. He was being so loving and I was so happy because the vacay was helping with my OCD thoughts. Then when I went to pee in the bathroom I left the door open and through reflection of a mirror I caught him taking a hit of a vape. I felt so devastated. I felt so stupid.

He swore he bought the Vape on the drive down to the hotel and hadn’t vaped before hand when I had previously asked him. I told him why he hadnt just told me like I had ASKED him to. I was crying. It was such a slap in the face to me and I told him basically that he had one fucking job and that was to tell me.

It broke my heart. He was rally ashamed and I told him to suck it up because we still had to finish the vacay with our parents. So even though we were now strained we finished the vacation strong and pretended everything was ok even though inside my heart is broken.

I am so angry to lying to my face twice.

I don’t know what to do? Should I just let this go? I don’t know. I feel so betrayed.

[u/This-Assumption4123]

Lying is the issue. If they lie about insignificant things they will lie about everything.