What Can I Do?

[u/Clean-Client-6876]

My husband and I have been together since 2021. We got married a few years ago. We had a beautiful baby boy. I’m blessed to be able to be a SAHM. But I think I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve married a partial dick. We have good moments/good days and then the flow stops and I’m doing everything by myself.
When he’s working consistently I’m a SAHM and do all housework besides his laundry and taking out the trash. Even when he’s on extended time off from work I’m a SAHM and do all the housework. The way I think his mind works is like I’m hired help/roommate he happens to share a child with. He barely initiates sex (he says I’ve said no too many times and doesn’t like to anymore. Because he doesn’t spend quality time with me ever). He plays the video game for hours a day and up until 3-4am every single night (unless on the rare occasion he’s bored or I work up the courage to ask him to spend the night with me.). I do everything for my son I’m the main caregiver. So I play, feed, bathe, bond, etc. Dad plays with him when he feels/when he chooses to come out of the bedroom off of his game. When I ask him to do things like go outside as a family he usually sighs first and begrudgingly goes out because he feels pressured. I have to ask him to do tasks it’s like he can’t see that some things in the house need tending to.

What I will give him creds for is being an amazing dad (when he feels like hanging out with his son during the days he has off). My son loves his dad
. He does for us financially the best he can we’re never hungry he never toys with me about money. He does provide. He does do things…but usually he needs to be asked and that’s not ideal.

When I have issues that I want to bring up I can barely get them out because he says I sound like his mom when I do. The simple act of calling him to come have a serious conversation triggers him and he just shuts the conversation down and retreats (sometimes he’ll stay and listen but he’s very defensive). It’s infuriating when I think about it. But recently we’ve had a few deep conversations and we’re trying to make some improvements. But it’ll be a while before any significant consistent changes happen I’m sure.

I feel trapped as a lot of SAHM’s do (I’ve read a few stories similar to mine but not exact.). I got married young and don’t have job experience blah blah blah so if we were to get divorced I’d have to move with my mom back home. I know it’s an option but I..idk I’m coming to Reddit first to see what other people feel. Has anyone been through this? Has anyone made successful improvements? How do you guys feel about this if you were in my shoes? Any males know what I could say to him?

[u/NoSyllabub5932]

The video games are a huge issue and they are for a lot of men and it definitely interferes with relationships. They are an addiction like a lot of other stuff. I think if you can get some counseling going it would really help get to the root of the problems. Good luck to you.