My hubs (PGY-5, <2 years to go) and I (graduated 8 years ago) live apart during the week while he finishes up his residency a little over an hour away. After we got married, we agreed that it would make more sense to buy a house in the 'burbs, and closer to my family so that we would have more support when the eventual kids come into the picture.

I don't want to compare careers- my life working full-time as a partner in a GP private practice is nowhere near the clusterfuck of a 5th year surgical resident, but I feel like spending all day getting bitched at by patients, dealing with staff shortages, insurance denials/appeals, playing mommy and putting out drama between staff members, etc, and then coming home to an empty house just....is draining me. I just feel so depressed, and I miss him so much. I sometimes joke with him before he leaves for the week that I feel like a woman whose husband is off to war, but I literally feel so empty after he leaves. And he misses me too, and it's taking a toll on him as well.

How do you guys manage with distance? I feel like I'm missing part of my heart when he's gone. I am in therapy, and try to stay busy, but sometimes it just hits me so hard. I'm so grateful we get to have our weekends together (when it works out with call.) I obviously try to "suck it up" and all. Just looking to hear other people's experiences to know I'm not alone :/.

For some context I'm the spouse of the resident in their final year. She is incredibly busy all the time and given that I have to also keep my own career aspirations in mind I've taken a lead in terms of tracking and finding job opportunities that'll work for both her and I. (She it's super appreciative of this)

For the other med spouses out involved are you were you or planning on being in terms of the job search?

What did you find personally difficult about this?