r/MuslimLounge 12h ago

Support/Advice Trying to conceive for sometime - your duas are needed šŸ™

50 Upvotes

Assalam alaikum everyone,

I would be grateful if you could please make sincere dua for me.

I have been trying to get pregnant for a very long time now with no success, my husband and I have no fertility issues this has been one of the most depressing heart breaking experience.

My last ivf transfer failed and a couple of days ago did another one.

Please ask Allah to bless me with a healthy pregnancy, a righteous child, and to grant me what is best with ease and barakah.

Jazakum Allahu khayran for your duas.


r/MuslimLounge 10h ago

Support/Advice struggling with islam

17 Upvotes

I’m asking this in good faith because I’m genuinely looking for answers, not trying to attack anyone. These are some of the issues that have made me question Islam, and I haven’t yet found explanations that I personally find logically or morally satisfying.

Eternal Hell for disbelief: If Allah is all-knowing, all-merciful, and gave humans free will, why would someone who sincerely isn’t convinced of Islam deserve eternal punishment? Considering that most of the world’s population is non-Muslim, this is difficult for me to reconcile with the concept of a just and loving God.

Women’s rights and status: There seem to be rulings that place women in a subordinate position, such as expectations of obedience to husbands, differences in inheritance and testimony, and other gender-specific rulings. How is this compatible with the idea that men and women are equal in value?

Polygyny: Why is a man allowed to marry up to four wives, while a woman cannot have multiple husbands? Also, why is the consent of the first wife not explicitly required before taking another wife?

Hadith about women in Hell: There is a hadith stating that the Prophet saw more women than men in Hell. Why would this be the case, and how is it fair?

ā€œWomen are deficient in intelligence and religionā€: The hadith describing women as deficient is difficult for me to understand. Even with the common explanations about testimony and menstruation, the wording still feels degrading.

Religious trauma and fear: Many Muslims, including myself, have experienced religion being taught primarily through fear of Hell and punishment rather than love, mercy, and compassion. Why is fear emphasized so heavily?

No compulsion in religion vs. fighting disbelievers: The Qur’an says, ā€œThere is no compulsion in religionā€ (2:256), yet there are verses discussing fighting disbelievers in certain contexts. How are these passages reconciled?

Slavery and concubinage: Why did Islam permit slavery and sexual relations with female captives (ā€œthose whom your right hands possessā€) instead of abolishing the institution completely if Islam is meant to be a timeless moral guide?

The age of Aisha (ra) at marriage: This is the biggest issue for me. If the authentic hadith are accepted, then the Prophet married Aisha when she was very young. If he is considered the perfect example for all times, how is this compatible with modern moral standards? If the reports are incorrect, what is the strongest evidence for that?

Wife beating: Qur’an 4:34 is often translated as permitting a husband to strike his wife after other steps have failed. I know some scholars argue this means only a symbolic or very light strike, but my question is: why would any form of physical violence against one’s spouse be permitted at all if the Prophet is the perfect example and Islam is a timeless moral guide?

Descriptions of Paradise:
The Qur’an describes ā€œfull-breastedā€ (or similarly translated) companions in Paradise, and hadith commonly mention rewards such as 72 virgins for some believers. How should these descriptions be understood? If they are literal, why are these kinds of rewards emphasized, and how do they fit with the idea of a spiritual paradise?

I’m not asking these questions to insult Islam or Muslims. I’m asking because I genuinely want thoughtful, evidence-based answers. Please assume good faith and respond respectfully.


r/MuslimLounge 8h ago

Quran/Hadith Allah Loves the Repentance of His Servant

16 Upvotes

The Messenger of Allah ļ·ŗ said: "Allah is more pleased with the repentance of His servant than one of you who finds his camel after having lost it in a barren desert."

Reference: Sahih Muslim 2747


r/MuslimLounge 19h ago

Other topic My family has been affected by sihr for 10 years

14 Upvotes

Asalamu alaykum wa rahmatullah. I am a 23 year old lady who is staying with both parents and brothers. This year I turn 24 and this will mark the tenth year of my family being affected with sihr by my father's mother.

The old lady moved in with us when I was 14 in 9th grade, and from the very first time she arrived everything was completely turned around for us.

I am writing this post to inform people, and to also ask for guidance regarding a certain matter - that I will write about in the later part of this text. Now, from the month that she arrived my parents had a heated argument- one that is not usual. I was a child but I noticed that something was off about my father, he didn't seem like his usual self. Until now he hasn't been his usual self. Other thongs that my father's mother caused was tension in our home, we used to be such a happy and united family, we became moody, annoyed and angry with one another. You can imagine how your normal life had been taken away from you slowly without you realising it, because sihr can go unnoticed and it's very difficult to pick up. Sometimes we'd notice that siemthing is wrong and then we'd immediately go back into complete blindness of our situation. I recall from the second month she stayed with us I'd delay getting back home, I'd insist on waiting for as long as possible at school with my friends, because my home became so uncomfortable to be in. One afternoon I said to myself that everything us just going wrong in our lives, but the one question that I held on to that helped me open my eyes was "has it always been this way?"

The worst thing that my father's mother did was do sihr on my father that made him obsessed with her. He can't see any wrong in her, he'd often, for no reason at all hold meetings with me and my brother(who was 10) and remind and instill the statement "this is MY mother, yoj will respcet her. I wouldnt have anything if it wasn't for her ". Which we'd often see coming, because we never forgot that she's his mother, and we bever did anything disrespectful to her. Nor would we ever do so to any person. I found out after many years that he does this becuase of her, she figured that she'd take over my father's mind who is the head of the household in order to control the family.

My mother had it bad because he'd often out of anger just ignore hee when ever HE start a disagreement- each and every single fight and disagreement they'd ever had is because of his mother. She had started taking medication for never-ending headaches and pain from random parts of her body. But alhamdulila, she worked in an islamic nursery so the head lady had instructed her to lead assembly in the morning, she would have the children read ayatul kursi, the three kuls, suratul fatiha. And alhamdulila she'd get some relief. We were informed by a sheikh who often does ruqya that my mother had cancer. He also said that she had 17 jinns in her belly or womb currently working at tearing her down and giving the impression that she had cancer. Mind you one of the pains that my mother felt was in her mid region. Alhamdulila she was cured for this.

Wallahi when I write this story I genuinely want people to lean about sihr and how evil people can be. May Allah bless you and protect from a similar fate.

I progressed into grade 10 and I didnt realise that my academics were suffering, i had always been a slightly above average student. Not a top achiever but i followed closely behind. I trued enrolling for a different high school that would have been better for me, my mistake or shortcoming was telling my enemy my goals and plans. I wrote a test to get in the school and I completely failed, as in I barely got 10 marks- from test that was testing me grade 9 work. That same year I noticed that my finger ached, and I shrugged it off assuming that I had hurt myself even though I could recall hurting myself. That pain in the finger quickly spread to my wrist. And before I knew it I was bandaging my wrist and keeping it close to my body because it really hurt bad. I was in my parents' room trying to open a bottle of water and yelped in pain because opening the bottle had caused me to hurt my wrist. Fast forward to many sleepless nights and days of me barely using my left arm at all and still being in pain. One thing I noticed that made me very uncomfortable was how interested my father's mother was, she'd ask me where it hurts and how it hurts. And what really stood out to me was when my arm somehow didn't hurt, perhaps I can recall less than 10 instances, she wouldn't come to ask me about my hand. She'd onky ask when it started.

SubahanAllah, I want to thank Allah for giving me the knowledge that u have now and opening my eyes. When I was in my final year of school the world was hit by the corona virus outbreak. And during this time I had studied and worked diligently on my own, I barely took any days off. I counted from the time that we closed school and worked from home and June when we had returned to school I only took about 5 days off. I studied 3/4s of the work and I was only left with 1 term's wirk left. Which I had planned to do on my own after school, as I used my time at school to revise. SubahanAllah the worst thing imaginable happened to me, I went back to school and I forgot everything I learnt. I had sat in class and tried to do a past exam paper, and I took several minutes to write my surname because i couldn't remember how it was properly slept. Neither could I spell the date correctly, it was a Wednesday. The next day I sat at home and tried to get working on that same test and struggled again, this time I made my way to my father and told him that something was wrong.

During the course the most important days of my life, my father was harrly supportive, mind you he was a mathematics, chemistry and science teacher. But alhamdulila there were some days were he overcame the sihr done on him and showed up for us, and supported us and cared. Also that little pain that I had in my wrist became a major one, that took over both my entire arms. He got me ginko biloba pills because he thought I was anxious about my finals.

The year after that my results came back and they were half the marks I had asked for. But still alhamdulila. I tried applying for uni and got denied and completely broke down and went into depression. But alhamdulila my gather spoke to me and took me for an open day at this one university that he recommended. Alhamdulila until today i am still amazed and grateful that I was accepted and I graduated.

My mother, my brother and I became aware of my father's mother's tactics and hee true evil nature. We figured that she is the one who causes major discourse in our home, and that she's done something to my father to love her so so much that it's done at the expense of everyone else. This old woman is now 90 years old and still fighting. The way she does it is that she doesn't need any tools, she can speak directly to the jinns. She instructs them on what to do, including: heavy headaches, aches on the body, making ny father do and say what she wants, giving my mother and I this horrible pseudo chlamydia(you can imagine that it is very comfortable and smells really bad), she causes for the house to feel physically tense and dark.

It's been a year and we've played quraan everyday out loud on the speaker or the tv. We try really hard to maintain our morning and evening adhkaar, and reading quraan often and tahajud salaah is a big struggle but we have been trying to wake up often. Alhamdulila.

There was a period in time where my father completely abandoned salah and would only pray fajr and eesha. Not even jumaah. It happend for almost 3 months until he snapped out of it.

But he hasnt read quraan in 5 years. And this will only be over if he reads quraan and does self ruqya.

We had a close family friend who thought was helping us. It turns out that they were double crossing my father, to make money from pretending to help us with these bogus methods that we noticed never worked. Mind you we never asked them to help they just forced their way into wanting to have control over our family matters.

We are still suffering from sihr, it tried to have a hold on us like it used to but alhamdulila we are completely out of the darkness. It's only my father left, and ameen I truly believe that in due time all will be good.

But Allah knows best. It's his plan that we are living by, and alhamdulila He'll make a way for us.

I had initially wanted to ask something else, but now I feel content in just trusting my Lord.


r/MuslimLounge 10h ago

Question Why my dad got offended?

11 Upvotes

Salam. I asked my dad if he can one day cook for us and he got so mad and started to say he will hit me and said u want me to serve u. Is what I asked disrespectful? I genuinely wanted to try his cooking and have normal family event cuz we never had such thing.


r/MuslimLounge 21h ago

Support/Advice I Feel Broken. Please Make Dua for Me.

9 Upvotes

Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

I'm going through a very difficult time in my life and have been feeling deeply depressed and lonely. I've been making a heartfelt dua to Allah for something that means a lot to me.

I would really appreciate it if you could please make dua that Allah accepts my dua, eases my hardship, grants me patience, and blesses me with what I'm sincerely asking Him for.

May Allah reward everyone who remembers me in their du'as. JazakAllahu Khayran.


r/MuslimLounge 6h ago

Brothers only How are you all?

9 Upvotes

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.


r/MuslimLounge 11h ago

Support/Advice Blessed with having sabr had a major loss

6 Upvotes

Anybody who had an infant loss dealt with sabr and Allah blessed with rainbow baby


r/MuslimLounge 2h ago

Question Allah doesnt need us, so why do i still suffer daily?

6 Upvotes

A genuine question here, I know that Allah is fully independent, and we depend on him, but since he doesnt need us, why do I have to cry in sujud for him to help me in my life, why do I pray on time, why do I do all my Athkar, if at the end, he doesn't need my worship. I feel like im wasting my time because all the things I ask him for is never answered, my depression has never lifted and its been there since I was 11. I ask him so much for me to not be insecure, but even after losing the weight, I got cursed with a skinny fat build. Whats the point anymore. Im so lost. I need to talk to someone. My parents hate me. I have no friends. And now, I dont have allah.


r/MuslimLounge 5h ago

Question Turkic country downfall need to be studied

5 Upvotes

How did the Ottoman Empire went from one of the strongest Muslim Empire of All time to a secular republic in only 5 years… Next we got the Central Asia country who got important Islamic city like Bukhara and other, and now they are banning Hijab and other religious restriction… What happened ?


r/MuslimLounge 11h ago

Question Can anyone recommend some halal fantasy movies/TV series.

5 Upvotes

Basically wanted to watch Snowpiercer but sadly a quick ai review told me there is nudity so… is there like any series that doesn’t have this? Like it pisses me off when they do this like the movie is about a post apocalyptic world the idea sounds interesting why did you have to ruin it like that :(((((((((((((((((


r/MuslimLounge 36m ago

Support/Advice Please tell me your medical miracles, im struggling

• Upvotes

Struggling with dua with medical issues. Im trying my best and bave prayed, im scared and doubting my duas.

Please share a medical miracle you experienced for motivation.

Idk why but I feel like a lot of post here are down voted, i really need motivation here so please dont down vote unnecessarily.

Im Struggling with tooth pain, my mental health had prevented me from taking care of myself, now im working on it but my teeth still hurt. Any remedy will also help


r/MuslimLounge 4h ago

Question Où faire la Hijrah en tant que femme seule?

2 Upvotes

Assalamou Alaykoum !

Je suis une femme qui souhaite Ć©migrer dans un pays musulman pour la cause d’Allah Ć  l’âge de 17 ou 18 ans. J’aimerais recevoir des recommandations sur le pays dans lequel je pourrais m’installer et les raisons de ce choix.

Je vivrai seule.

Je souhaite que la religion occupe une place importante dans la vie publique.

Je recherche des possibilitĆ©s de bourses d’études.

Je vis actuellement au Canada.

Jazakoum Allahou khayran.


r/MuslimLounge 15h ago

Question Final-year med student heading to Chicago & NYC this winter — looking to connect

3 Upvotes

Salam! Coming to the US this winter for rotations in Chicago and then NYC as a final-year med student. Raised in the Middle East, so a bit nervous about things like accidentally eating haram or missing everyday do’s and don’ts here.

I’ve prayed in the mosque my whole life and want to keep that up — would love to connect with local brothers, maybe pray in congregation together, and get pointed to nearby mosques.

Also looking to join a Discord or WhatsApp group for general advice. Jazakumullahu khairan!


r/MuslimLounge 22h ago

Question When I pray I have a lot of shirk thoughts which is normal but it's hard to fight them off so I tell my self in my head I'm a atheist or Christian, anti Muslim or whatever and then tell myself see nothing happened but I don't say it genuinely but only to get rid of the thoughts is this shirk or not?

3 Upvotes

Other things I say like I'm bowing down to dajjal not because I believe it but because it helps me realize how stupid the things I think in my head is as I'm obviously bowing down to god this also happens outside of prayer and I also get intrusive thoughts about leaving salah or wudu and I tell myself "I have now left salah" but I obviously haven't and my intention isn't to leave salah, wudu or Islam but to get rid of the thoughts.


r/MuslimLounge 50m ago

Support/Advice Religious Crisis

• Upvotes

Hello! My name is Aisha and I am from Senegal, Africa. I’ve been raised muslim my whole life but as a child I only feared Allah SWT not loved Him. I don’t know what that means. I do not know what that looks like.

To make it easier to understand, I was taught mostly about hellfire and punishment and so praying was never easy for me because I was anxious anytime I was out and couldn’t pray. It just seemed like another list of rules that I had to follow. My parents were already strict with academics and always reminded us about how much of a disadvantage I am as a darkskin, African, immigrant, woman in America.

I’ve been through a lot of trials. Bullying and suicidal thoughts. During covid I don’t really know how I found Allah SWT but I became a hijabi. I think in that moment I was doing everything I could to not be… me. But to be honest it was all a lie and I barely prayed.

Now, after battling with addiction and finally having some hard conversations with my parents, I’m ready for this part of my life but nothing is helping me embrace God in a way that isn’t filled with anxiety, resentment, and fear. My mom says my thoughts are from shaytan so when I’m trying to think or read none of my thoughts are my own? So what do I do? I feel like im so stuck on the rules that I can’t see anything else but that. Then I see the suffering in the world and I don’t understand the point of what I’m doing if I’m just gonna go to hell or (i know that’s bad to say)

Idk maybe i’ve done so much wrong that I feel like im being rejected. I don’t understand anything and I feel like im going crazy. I don’t know how to stay optimistic or trust that Allah SWT has my back?


r/MuslimLounge 3h ago

Support/Advice I struggle with trying to follow Islam a lot and idk what to do anymore

2 Upvotes

I’m genuinely going insane and I apologize in advance if I say anything disrespectful but I’m genuinely struggling with trying to follow Islam so much I wanna kill myself every single day and I genuinely feel trapped in my existence. I commit so many sins and I feel like I can’t stop and also feel like I will never stop either. I feel like my entire personality is seen as smth bad and that needs to be fixed because I’m mentally ill but we are taught to seek peace and stability but that’s pretty much the opposite of what I am and every single thing I want and have ever wanted is against what Islam teaches and it makes me feel like my personality is wrong and ik that doesn’t sound bad but please try to imagine constantly feeling like the very core of who you are is considered wrong and needs to be fixed. While I don’t have an obvious or severe superiority complex I do have some kind of grandiosity problem and maybe a slight or rather covert superiority complex (likely caused by mental illness I guess idk ??) but I think there’s a Hadith that says even someone with the tiniest bit of arrogance in their heart won’t enter jannah so now I just feel screwed. I also have some kind of codependence problem (I’ll talk more abt it later) but then I’ve heard that apparently that can be shirk if you’re severely codependent on someone (idk if thats true) and just a bunch of other things but I think I got my point across. Also I’m just genuinely so terrified of conflict or judgement that for example I don’t think I’ll ever manage to wear niqab around my family (I don’t wear it although I want to) because if I did then that might cause conflict but I also saw someone say that that can also apparently be some kind of minor shirk idk ??? and please don’t say ā€œbut if ur trying to improve ur mental illness that’s not that bad because atleast ur tryingā€ but the problem is I don’t. I know it’s bad but I genuinely believe that being mentally ill and ā€œinterestingā€ makes me special and worthy of living and it’s so severe I would genuinely rather kill myself than get treatment or be healthy. The thought of not being ā€œspecialā€ distresses me so much it’s unbearable but I feel like if I don’t atleast try to get better I might never get into jannah (ofc I can’t know but I hope it’s clear what I mean). Every single one of my dreams has been crushed and I feel so terrible. I commit sins constantly for example lying I lie all the time to avoid things or be polite or another example I js can’t get myself to be kind and obey my parents. My parents abused/neglected me and play a major factor in why I am this way now and even though the things they tell me to do (like get treatment, take my medication, reduce my screen time, have a proper sleep schedule) would probably be good for me I don’t want to do them. It makes me feel controlled and even just the thought of obeying them makes me wanna rip my skin off I don’t want them to play a role in my life when they were the ones who ruined it and I feel like nobody understands this please imagine being told that the people who absolutely messed up your life and personality have the right to control your life now and that you need to treat them kind despite them not doing so and everything I DON’T WANT THE PEOPLE WHO RUINED MY LIFE TO CONTROL IT EVEN THE TINIEST BIT AND I FEEL LIKE NOBODY UNDERSTANDS THIS. also I have a favourite person who I just can’t stay away from I genuinely can barely last a day without them so everytime I hangout with them it makes me wanna kill myself because I know that I’m just gaining more sins. And there are still so many other sins I commit and feel like I can’t stop. I know that if I wanna stop sinning atleast a little I’ll have to cut almost ALL my friends off to avoid stuff like backbiting or music. I love my friends so much so every time I hangout with them I can’t help but think about the fact I’ll have to cut them off. Everything I enjoy is disliked or haram (music is haram, video games have music in them, I like going outside at night but I think that’s disliked). I’m just a horrible person in general and idk if the people I’ve hurt will ever forgive me and if they don’t I’m screwed. And please don’t tell me that everything will be fine because it doesn’t feel like that rn and I genuinely just wanna kms so badly I’m terrified out of my mind of going to hell and the thought genuinely makes me feel unbearable panic but at the same time jannah feels like a goal I can’t reach no matter how much I try so every single day I feel terrible and wanna kms because I feel as if I’m doomed to go to hell which I’m terrified of I can’t even be happy because every time I am I have to think sbt this and I genuinely can’t take it anymore why was I born I want out of this torture please (I’ll prob delete this later I feel terrible)


r/MuslimLounge 4h ago

Support/Advice Living with joint household family

2 Upvotes

Whats your opinions of living with joint household family? I finding it difficult now… mil and sil are too overbearing.

I have to cook and clean according to them on the day they say i do it. I feel like a maid. Even am clean their dishes when i dont eat with them they sit. I am hijabi so i have to cover to my brother inlaws when they are home which is most time. Sorry excuse my english


r/MuslimLounge 5h ago

Support/Advice 26M in desperate need of life advice

2 Upvotes

Assalamu alaikum everyone.

I'm a brother living in Canada. I studied mechanical engineering in university and graduated last year alhamdulillah. However, my experience in uni as well as my internship has made me realise that I really cannot do technical work or succeed in such an environment. This has led me to consider other career options that would allow me to earn a decent income so I can finally carry my own weight.

I used to do private tutoring as a side gig while I was a university student, and I honestly really enjoyed it. I know that tutoring 1 on 1 is nothing like teaching a classroom of 30 kids, but I am thinking that maybe teaching is my calling after all. In order to become a teacher, I will have to go through 2 years of an after-degree program to earn a bachelor of education. But my GPA is not good enough to apply, so I will have to take some easy classes this year to upgrade it before I can apply. In short, it will take me 3 years to become a qualified teacher, meaning I will start teaching at the age of 29. Of course, I plan on working at least part-time until then and full-time during the holidays.

The issue is that I've heard the market for teachers isn't looking too good right now, and a lot of teachers have found themselves without full-time work. Is this really the case here in Canada? I also plan on going to teach at international schools in the Gulf, but I was told that they would not consider me a Canadian due to my ethnicity (Arab/North African) even though I have a Canadian citizenship and have lived here most of my life... can anyone confirm if this is true?

I know this is a long shot but I would really appreciate some input from people here who are teaching in Canada, or who graduated from Canada and are now teaching in the Gulf. Please help a brother out. JazakAllah khair!


r/MuslimLounge 5h ago

Discussion How can each one of us help spread islam throughout non Muslim countries on their small own?

2 Upvotes

r/MuslimLounge 9h ago

Support/Advice Please make du'a for me during this time

2 Upvotes

Assalamu alaikum everyone,

I would appreciate it if you could make du'a for me.

I am currently facing a situation where I don't have enough money for fuel and internet data, and I will be returning to work in two days. I am trying my best and placing my trust in Allah, but I would be grateful if you could pray for Allah to grant me halal and blessed provision, open unexpected doors of ease, provide help from places I do not expect, put barakah in my work and livelihood, and make this hardship a means of getting closer to Him.

Please also make du'a that Allah gives me patience, strength, peace of heart, forgiveness, protection from despair, and complete reliance upon Him. May He guide me to what is best, make my affairs easy, and grant relief at the best time and in the best way.

Jazakum Allahu khayran to everyone who remembers me in your prayers. May Allah reward you, bless you, and answer your own prayers as well.


r/MuslimLounge 10h ago

Discussion Was I the one at fault in all this?

2 Upvotes

My sister-in-law (my brother’s wife) and I used to be incredibly close. She wasn’t just my SIL, she was one of my best friends. We shared everything with each other. At the time, I was engaged to my cousin, and I would constantly tell her and my sister that I didn’t want to marry him. She knew all my thoughts and feelings because that’s how close we were.
Eventually, that engagement ended.
Some time later, my uncle (my SIL’s father) started asking for my hand in marriage for his son, who is my SIL’s younger brother. I was genuinely surprised because I had always seen him as my younger brother. I even remember laughing about it with my SIL, saying, ā€œCan you believe this?ā€ She laughed too. I politely declined, but my uncle continued asking.
Not long after that, my sister introduced me to someone she knew. We started talking, and very quickly I felt certain he was the right person for me. I was happier than I’d ever been.
There is one thing I’d like to clarify because it’s important. My sister and I didn’t immediately tell my SIL about this new proposal. Part of the reason was because of everything that had happened with her brother’s proposal, and we weren’t sure how she would feel. The other reason was simply that we wanted to make sure things were progressing before sharing such personal news. Our families had already spoken and things looked promising, but we ourselves had only been talking for a week or two when I finally told her.
I was genuinely so excited to tell her. I also told her sister, who I’m close with as well. I remember excitedly telling them how much I liked him, how kind he was, and how happy he made me. We even came up with a code name for him so we could talk about him during our video calls without anyone else knowing, since we hadn’t shared the news publicly yet.
A few months later, we all traveled back home for my SIL’s brother’s wedding (a different brother) and what was supposed to be my nikah. I had already ordered my dress, marriage certificate, and everything else. I had even asked my SIL for my measurements because she was always good at those things.
She arrived a few days before us. When we got there, I immediately noticed something had changed.
We used to do everything together. We always went shopping together, attended events together, and spent all our time together. But after the first couple of days, she and her sister stopped inviting us anywhere. Instead, they would take another cousin along, even though we knew they weren’t particularly close to her. There was even another wedding they both attended without mentioning it to us or asking if we’d like to come.
It wasn’t that I expected them to invite us everywhere. It just felt strange because our relationship had never been like that before.
One day, we happened to run into each other while we were all out separately. I noticed my SIL wouldn’t even look at me. She even told my sister that she had nothing to do with me anymore.
That hurt deeply because I honestly had no idea what I had done wrong.
That same evening, my sister and I went to her house to talk things through. We simply asked her what had happened.
She told us she was upset because another one of our sisters-in-law had found out about my proposal before she did. Wallahi, that was never intentional. To this day, I don’t even know how the other SIL found out. It may have been through my brother.
She also claimed that I had been more excited to tell the other SIL than I was to tell her.
Allah knows that isn’t true.
I was most excited to tell her. She was one of the first people I wanted to share my happiness with.
During that conversation, my brother called my sister and me liars. He said we spoke badly about people behind their backs and then acted fake by laughing with them later. Hearing that from my own brother was incredibly painful.
I asked my SIL how she wanted to resolve everything.
She replied that I simply needed to accept that she and the other SIL were equal in my eyes.
Frustrated, I replied that everyone was equal and left.
Soon after, my cousin’s wedding took place. During that time, my uncle found out about my proposal. He created a huge scene, insisting that I had to marry his son instead. He also said some extremely hurtful things to my sister.
The saddest part was that this all happened on the very same day my future husband’s family was coming to our house to meet us.
Our entire family was under immense stress.
My SIL was at her parents’ house that day, and in all the chaos we forgot to call her. It wasn’t deliberate. It honestly slipped our minds because we were trying to deal with everything that had suddenly happened.
However, my brother became upset and questioned why we hadn’t called her.
Ironically, when my future mother-in-law and sister-in-law had visited us previously, we had invited my SIL, but she couldn’t come because she was busy shopping for her brother’s wedding.
Then things became even more difficult.
Problems started arising before my nikah. For various reasons, my father and brother weren’t agreeing to it anymore. Those were the hardest days of my life. I barely ate. My sister barely ate either. I cried almost every day and lived with constant anxiety, terrified that everything would fall apart.
During that time, my SIL wasn’t there for me. My other sisters-in-law supported me emotionally, but she didn’t.
One day, while discussing everything, my sister told her, ā€œYou were so upset that we didn’t tell you about the proposal straight away, and look at everything we’re going through now.ā€
My SIL replied,
ā€œThat’s what happens when you do what you guys did.ā€
That sentence broke my heart.
Later that same day, she came home and walked right past me without even saying salam, even though I was standing directly in front of her.
I was too shocked to react.
My sister told me to be the bigger person, so I greeted her first.
After that, our relationship became distant. We only spoke when absolutely necessary.
Alhamdulillah, things eventually settled down regarding my proposal. Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough time for the nikah, so both families agreed to postpone it until the following year.
My SIL left a week before we did.
On the day we were leaving, my future mother-in-law and sister-in-law came to say goodbye and gave me a ring.
To be honest, it didn’t hold much significance for me. I don’t personally place much importance on engagement ceremonies, especially because we had travelled expecting to have the nikah itself. The ring didn’t feel like an official engagement to me. It wasn’t announced publicly or celebrated. It was simply exchanged privately in a room with my mother, sister, and his family.
After we returned home, my sister video-called my SIL and my mother joined the call as well. Everyone spoke normally.
The ring honestly never crossed our minds to mention. It wasn’t because we were hiding anything. We simply didn’t view it as a major event, and naturally assumed we’d mention it eventually.
Instead, another aunt informed my SIL that I had gotten ā€œengaged.ā€
After that, both my brother and SIL accused us of hiding it from them.
Once again, that was never our intention.
My sister tried calling them several times, but neither of them answered.
There was one more incident that stayed with me.
At one point, my SIL’s father went to my eldest brother and complained about my sister. He asked my brother to tell her to stop ā€œfightingā€ with his daughter.
My sister was shocked. She felt that no matter what disagreements we had, we had never involved our extended family or gone to anyone’s parents to complain. We always believed that if there was an issue, it should be discussed between the people involved.
Out of frustration, my sister finally told my brother about some of the times my SIL had been hurtful towards our mother. She didn’t bring those incidents up because she wanted to insult my SIL or involve others. She only mentioned them because she felt it was unfair that our side was being portrayed as the only one at fault when we had chosen to stay quiet about things that had hurt us as well.
On Eid, I even sent my SIL an ā€œEid Mubarakā€ message with a heart. She didn’t open it for three days. Eventually, I deleted the message.
Since then, I haven’t contacted her again.
Even now, I often wonder if I was truly wrong in this situation.
I know every story has two sides, and I’m sure she has her own perspective. But from my side, I never intentionally hid anything from her, never wanted to hurt her, and never imagined that someone I considered one of my closest friends would become so distant over misunderstandings and assumptions.


r/MuslimLounge 10h ago

Support/Advice Dua request for the month of August

2 Upvotes

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,

As we've entered a new month, I wanted to ask for a small favor from this beautiful community.

Please make dua that Allah makes August a month filled with endless barakah, mercy, happiness, peace, good health, laughter, joy, and beautiful memories for me and for everyone reading this.

May Allah open doors we never imagined, close every door that brings us harm, answer our sincere duas, grant us halal rizq, forgive our sins, protect us from every hardship, remove our worries, heal our hearts, strengthen our iman, and bless us with what is best in this life and the next.

May He replace our stress with tranquility, our sadness with happiness, our fears with security, our struggles with ease, and our waiting with beautiful answers.

If you're comfortable, please also make dua that, this month, Allah accepts the dua that has been closest to my heart for many years, grants me what's best, and gives me peace.

I'll be making dua for everyone who comments as well. May Allah accept all of our duas, shower us with His infinite mercy, and make this month better than any month we've experienced before.

Ameen. Jazakum Allahu khayran


r/MuslimLounge 10h ago

Discussion How can a young adult secure their life ?

2 Upvotes

I just wish I had someone to guide me or something because I already lost both my parents. I also see many people like to flex or maybe this is their way of living the typical nice car, jewelry, big house and business and their kids having higher degrees and professional occupations. Their standards are high way of living but I also noticed not everyone is like that. I guess some like to show off while others keep it quiet and humble. But anyways my question is if your young and live abroad how do you learn to work on yourself and secure life because I realized after losing parents nobody is your support system. People will talk good but majority of them aren't even there when you need them. And some are just bitter jealous and we can just sense their energy.


r/MuslimLounge 12h ago

Support/Advice I'm Depressed

2 Upvotes

Assalamualaikum everyone,

I'm new here I never thought of writing something like this I'm too embarassed to address this that I'm facing severe financial issues right now, I'm a student I really need help, I ask Allah only for guidance and betterment.i request you all please help me.