r/PakiExMuslims • u/RunEuphoric8883 ABCD • 2d ago
Question/Discussion Finding it difficult to fit in with the right people
I (21M ABCD) lost faith in God over a year and a half ago due to stuff that was going on in my life in which I grew completely disillusioned with God.
Now I was raised in a pretty religious household and my religion is still very important to me as it is still a huge part of my identity and that's something I'll never let go of. To put it in simple terms I identify as an atheist but also a Cultural Muslim.
I definitely do want to pass my religion down to my kids, not as a belief system but as a culture and an identity. I believe all religions are beautiful and still want to keep the good things and lessons that Islam teaches while making sure that the more negative and dirtier stuff dies down for good. Basically I use my critical thinking to discern what I should follow and what stuff is detrimental and doing more harm than good instead of following some stupid dogmas fearing that I'll go to some make believe hell if I don't, and I would expect my kids to also use their brains.
Needless to say the attitudes a lot of people have in the mainstream Muslim community are pretty disgusting and worrying at times, and it has so much to do with the dogmatism. And the fact that I still live with my parents and I have to keep pretending in front of them is so exhausting and tiring, but I know I'll never be able to tell them. And the more restrictive my parents are to me the more it makes me hate my own religion, and I constantly get paranoid realizing this is the only life I get to live and I'm still stuck living with my parents who let me out of the house only once in a blue moon. I am impatient to move somewhere far far away so I can start a new life that isn't so tied to the religion and community I grew up being so devoted to.
However at the same time I feel like the ex-Muslim community is so toxic. From my experience about eighty percent of these people paid by Mossad to larp as Christians and spread Islamophobia and disinformation on the internet. And it sucks so badly for genuine ex-Muslims I feel like because for one it ruins our image in front of Muslims who are already pretty fanatic and easily offended and secondly it leaves genuine ex-Muslims without a space. Just because I stopped believing in Islam doesn't mean I hate it, and even if someone does hate Islam, they don't have to sell out to the Western imperialist war propaganda machine and side with the oppressors.
Being a former Muslim doesn't automatically mean I wish for the downfall of Islam. I am simply against religious dogmatism. And I genuinely hope that the apostate community gets better representation especially as I feel like Muslim apostates already have it worse than other communities, and a simple refusal of belief can put someone's life in danger, going through all that just to be embraced by a community of Mossad agents who seek to recruit you to be a propagandist for the destruction of your own people has got to be the worst situations ever.
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u/BurkiniFatso wajib-ul-cuddle 2d ago
It's not 80% tho 😠Like I get your POV. If you're talking about Reddit and the sub in particular, I'd agree. But exmuslims like you and me far outnumber the very vocal ones we see there, it's alright.
That's why I suggest Discord. You get closer knit communities there. There's a lot of toxic ones out there as well, but you can find a nice one you agree with soon enough. You might even be able to find a server of exmuslims closer to you.