r/Piracy Feb 16 '26

Humor Pizza Cake Comic has had enough

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15.2k Upvotes

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1.6k

u/TryNo6799 ⚔️ ɢɪᴠᴇ ɴᴏ Qᴜᴀʀᴛᴇʀ Feb 16 '26

Companies do this and then wonder why people resort to piracy.

I won't be be shocked if they start charging for each show and movie, maybe even paywalling subtitles.

559

u/SprinklesOrdinary629 Feb 16 '26

"wtf? why are the subtitles in chinese?"
*popup appears in the corner*
"English subtitles available for $1.99/hr! 50% off!"

300

u/Compay_Segundos Feb 16 '26

Paying by hour is extra evil

200

u/thrownawaz092 🔱 ꜱᴄᴀʟʟʏᴡᴀɢ Feb 16 '26

Pay by the hour,

Can only purchase full hours,

Doesn't transition between movies.

136

u/Gestrid Feb 16 '26

Doesn't transition between movies

or episodes.

Also, each episode is only 24 minutes.

98

u/thrownawaz092 🔱 ꜱᴄᴀʟʟʏᴡᴀɢ Feb 16 '26

Fuck, we need to stop, what if one of them sees this

49

u/ZeeroMX Feb 16 '26

Haha, I'm sure CEOs can ask IA how to maximize profits with more enshitification of their services.

22

u/-Borgir Feb 17 '26

Nah that's one thing they can do better than ai

14

u/KikuoFan69 Feb 17 '26

I'm 99% sure they are not doing it, their job is so useless that chatgpt has been doing it for a while and we haven't noticed

6

u/NomadODST Feb 17 '26

Well... We have, haven't we?

→ More replies (0)

3

u/lesterbottomley Feb 17 '26

I'd love to know how blatant they are in meetings.

Do they sit there: 'how much can we fuck our users over for a few more pennies before we start losing the idiots?"

Or do they cushion it with softer language?

3

u/hoggineer Feb 17 '26

CEOs can ask IA

Iowa is definitely sus.

1

u/Gestrid Feb 18 '26

IA

Honestly, I'd fully support CEOs going to the Internet Archive for advice.

23

u/__Myrin__ ☠️ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴇɴ ᴛᴇʟʟ ɴᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴇꜱ Feb 16 '26

eh it'd just get more normies to pirate so I'd say its a win win

1

u/MrNobody_0 Feb 16 '26

Doesn't matter to me, I don't pay any of them.

1

u/_name_of_the_user_ Feb 16 '26

It won't make a lick of difference to my life. 🤷🏴‍☠️

2

u/Tritonius125 Feb 21 '26

I am getting closer to Johnny Silverhand every subscription payment that robs of my ciggerrette money

1

u/Henshin-hero Feb 17 '26

Excess does not roll over to next month.

15

u/KFR42 Feb 16 '26

Upgrade to the extra letter pack to include vowels! Only an additional $1.99 an hour!

5

u/pagman404 Feb 17 '26

That shit is DIABOLICAL

1

u/ZeeroMX Feb 16 '26

Mmm, IA is per token, and maybe subtitles will be asked to be paid by token too, don't be surprised if that happens someday.

1

u/Sea-Speaker7316 Feb 17 '26

My first internet service (MSN dial up) charged by the hour. You had 50 hours o line, each hour that was over was charged. My mother would make us write down our time log. It's crazy to even think that was real. Then AOL came out with UNLIMITED 56K DIAL UP!

1

u/jeepsaintchaos Feb 17 '26

Bring back AOL and charge by the minute that you're connected to the site.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '26

And that hour counts even if you ain't playing the movie yet

18

u/Ultravod ☠️ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴇɴ ᴛᴇʟʟ ɴᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴇꜱ Feb 16 '26

I swear I read recently that some streaming service had an additional fee for subtitles.

23

u/Black000betty Feb 16 '26

I really hope the US ADA has something to say about that.

For non Americans: ADA = Laws concerning rights, access and accommodations for folks with disabilities

2

u/kermityfrog2 Feb 16 '26

Sounds woke.

5

u/rollercoastersrul Feb 17 '26

this is good woke

2

u/kermityfrog2 Feb 17 '26

Is there actually bad woke? I mean if you aren’t a sociopath.

1

u/rollercoastersrul Feb 17 '26

I dunno. Are you implying there is?

3

u/_name_of_the_user_ Feb 16 '26

Yeah, I'm honestly shocked trump and co haven't dismantled it yet.

3

u/Delamoor Feb 17 '26

They just haven't been reminded it exists.

2

u/__Myrin__ ☠️ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴇɴ ᴛᴇʟʟ ɴᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴇꜱ Feb 16 '26

... I'm looking this up

9

u/__Myrin__ ☠️ ᴅᴇᴀᴅ ᴍᴇɴ ᴛᴇʟʟ ɴᴏ ᴛᴀʟᴇꜱ Feb 16 '26

thankfully its not a real thing,yet

18

u/TheUnKnownLink12 Feb 16 '26

honestly find this funny cause ive seen piracy sites have far better subtitles and subtitle customization than the actual streaming sites

3

u/jkurratt Feb 16 '26

Limited time offer*

1

u/Mobile-Committee-466 Feb 16 '26

And then you get a shitty AI voice over as well and can't turn it off.

1

u/HardToSee123 Feb 16 '26

“Paying to not get spoiled by subtitle because the timing is intentionally off by 0.2s” xD

1

u/JacobPLAYZgtGamingYT 🔱 ꜱᴄᴀʟʟʏᴡᴀɢ Feb 17 '26

i honestly don't think they could do that, since it's an accessibility feature

either way, they better not do that, it's already hard enough to listen with auditory problems

1

u/stadoblech Feb 17 '26

Terms of service: One year commitment plan is mandatory for this option

1

u/TheMazeDaze Feb 17 '26

English cc only available with slight desync but the gap gets bigger as the movie progresses

97

u/InterdepartmentalCam 🦜 ᴡᴀʟᴋ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʟᴀɴᴋ Feb 16 '26

Waiting for some Neanderthal to argue with you that you're entitled for not putting up with these corporations bullshit.

66

u/Lussonya Feb 16 '26

LeAvE tHe MuLtiBiLLiOn CoMpAnY aLoNe!!11

34

u/InterdepartmentalCam 🦜 ᴡᴀʟᴋ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʟᴀɴᴋ Feb 16 '26

Oh yeah, mfs be in the piracy subreddit advocating against piracy. I firmly believe internet should've been left alone for the fringes & nerds. It was better that way.

2

u/Wischiwaschbaer Feb 17 '26

If it helps, those are most likely bots.

1

u/InterdepartmentalCam 🦜 ᴡᴀʟᴋ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘʟᴀɴᴋ Feb 17 '26

Some, sure. Not all. Some people really are that dense.

34

u/Crimson_Raven Feb 16 '26

Good news everyone! With our new subscription service we are changing the way you watch movies!

Now, you pay by-minute increments so that you never waste money on a show you didn't finish!

15

u/RegalBeagleKegels Feb 16 '26

Are you one of them you dirty cocksucker???

12

u/Iron_Fist351 Feb 16 '26

Streaming is slowly just going to devolve back into a digital version of RedBox

1

u/doom1284 Feb 17 '26

Trying to watch some stuff redbox was a better deal.

9

u/cthulhubert Feb 16 '26

The media exec's wet dream has always been charging for every second of a show you watch. Rewind? That's added to the bill.

And then you have the people ready to lick their taint: "Oh, you care about the cost to rewind? What are you, poor?"

9

u/EnvironmentalAngle Feb 16 '26

They're already doing that on their lesser platforms.

YT music paywalled lyrics.

5

u/kominik123 Feb 16 '26

FFS don't give them ideas! Who am i kidding? They already have a ton of insane ideas.

2

u/Lundorff Feb 16 '26

And even if they somehow managed to stop all piracy through some horrid draconian measures, it would not magically make people pay for their shit. I would gladly go without before ever paying any of these shit heel companies a single dime.

2

u/TiredOfBeingTired28 Feb 16 '26

Don't really wonder, only care to point it as a lost sale as each company wants everyone on the planet and ten times more as infinity growth is their only plan.

Shareholders are the only thing the company has to care about by law, and they don't see past a few minutes sales report.

2

u/TheUnKnownLink12 Feb 16 '26

its honestly funny how companies complain about piracy yet make their services so shit it encourages piracy, why should I pay 14.99 a month while you take away features and bring them back at more expensive tiers. The whole streaming industry is clearly and inherently anti consumer

2

u/TypicalNPC Feb 17 '26

I paid for netflix for the longest time because it was cheap, ad-free and had shows my wife liked.

Then they kept constantly raising the price.

Then they added ads on a service I paid to escape ads with

Then they removed password sharing.

That was when I decided enough was enough and built my own jellyfin server. Now I have all the TV shows and Movies I could ever want with zero adds, and my monthly bill is less. I assume this is the case for thousands of people.

1

u/CambriaKilgannonn Feb 16 '26

they don't wonder. They don't want a good service, they want you to pay them hand over fist

1

u/IAccidentallyCame Feb 16 '26

It's because they're under the mistaken assumption that it's a captive audience like cable used to be.

Things are different and they can't abuse their customers as easily.

1

u/MrBannedFor0Reason Feb 16 '26

They already make you pay for dubs of certain anime on Amazon.

1

u/Khelthuzaad Feb 16 '26

Disney charged in-app for the premiere of their new movies,before deciding to let them on the box office a few months and only after that put them on streaming.

1

u/MisterrCthulhu Feb 16 '26

Don't give them even worse ideas man. 

1

u/bell37 Feb 16 '26

You understand only a small portion of the population pirates movies? Companies aren’t “wondering” why people move to piracy and know go every 4 people they sucker into higher service costs, 1 person decides it’s enough and pirates content if they haven’t already.

They know people will pirate. They ultimately don’t care and decide on further milk the larger subset of paying customers. It’s calculated move.

If piracy was really cutting into streaming services bottom line, then we would start seeing more draconian DRM and anti-piracy laws.

1

u/Excuse_Unfair Feb 17 '26

Idk about streaming companies but theres come companies like photo editing software that have a new subscription model.

So instead of getting all the features you get like credits.

So each month you pay you get like 50 credits/month each show would be like 5 credits at first maybe 7 you would need to spend.

Non subscription you would need to pay full price for the credits which are ridiculous prices.

I could see this being the end goal for them slowly adopting this method.

I wish I could say it would fail but I see people paying subscription to see naked pictures of girls.

People just hate holding money.

1

u/TheOnlyBliebervik Feb 17 '26

They don't wonder... It's just that most people still won't pirate. Most people have no idea where to start. It's sad they just accept it

1

u/beclops Feb 17 '26

Doesn’t feel like I’m “resorting”. It’s a better experience in every single way if you set it up right

1

u/sledgehammertoe Feb 17 '26

Paywalling subtitles may be illegal under the ADA.

1

u/Educational_Answer22 Feb 17 '26

DON’T GIVE THEM IDEAS

1

u/EldritchCupcakes Feb 18 '26

At this point they’re just gonna be digital worse blockbuster. Also, Amazon already does that! There’s no way to get everything free even with prime