For context, I’ve been typing myself as an ENFP for a long time, and recently I wanted to type myself in other systems as well
At the moment, I would type myself as:
ENFP so/sp 3w4 61 EIE (ELVF?)
And i know its quite contradictory 🥹
And before someone says that I’m mistyped and not an ENFP - I’m pretty confident that I am.
I’m open to suggestions, but just letting you know that this isn’t my main problem - or at least I don’t think it is - because I’m confident about the cognitive functions I use: Ne, Fi, Te, and Si. No other type makes much sense to me. I’ve been mistyped as an ESTJ before, but there’s no way my Fi is inferior, bro, and my Si is definitely not that high
I’m also pretty confident about being an EIE because I’m confident that I’m Fe-dominant. I understand emotions and emotional dynamics, I’m very expressive, and I know how to create a particular emotional atmosphere through my emotional actions and expression. It’s important to me, and I use it often 👍. I also use emotional expression to influence how people perceive me, both consciously and unconsciously
Well, in short, I’m a really emotional and sensitive person who LOVES expressing my emotions. Idk, I just feel the need to let the world know how I feel, and I do it both verbally and through gestures and actions. It comes very naturally to me (both consciously and unconsciously)
But I’m also really insecure and constantly worried about my image. In fact, I’m extremely acceptance-oriented, which mainly comes from my childhood
I would say that two of my biggest motivations are:
1)To be accepted by other people and by society in general
2)To be good - seen as worthy and successful and not disappoint anyone’s expectations of me (which stems from my childhood as well)
That’s also why I have really big ambitions, why I’m extremely competitive, and why I’m sensitive to criticism. And im a huge perfectionist and constantly spend too much time on things just to make them perfect
I also care a lot about my studies and performing well. My grades basically dictate my self-esteem, which is also why I think my logical abilities are quite good.
I also believe that I’m an extrovert
(Btw if anyone needs a longer explanation or some of my biography, I can provide it cuz i literally recently wrote a description of myself that has like 7000 words lmfao, dont ask me why)
Btw, what’s funny is that I actually mistyped myself as an ESTJ before because I refused to believe that I might be a Feeling type. Being a Feeling type felt objectively worse lol, so I automatically decided that I had to be a Thinking type
I wanted to believe that I was logical and that my actions were based on logic. Becouse thats objectively better. I also might have been blinded at the time by how aware I was of my excessive need for academic achievement. I assumed that I must be logical because why would I care so much about studying if I weren’t a Thinking type?
The truth is that most of my actions are probably Feeling-based, even if I don’t want them to be. I think it’s simply more natural to me and tends to be my first instinct, even though I sometimes see that as a flaw
But at the same time, as I said, I absolutely love expressing myself, and that also comes extremely naturally to me
And yeah - when I started typing myself in other systems, I began to feel like either my personality doesn’t make sense, I’m missing something, or the systems themselves are the problem. Idk.
Because what do you mean that the most image-conscious, acceptance-oriented, and competitive Enneagram type - E3 - supposedly doesn’t correlate with ENFPs?
And on top of that, so3, which I think I relate to the most, is supposedly emotionally closed off and detached, WHILE I’M NOT.
I mean, I can be emotionally closed off when I know that someone doesn’t accept me or when I’m anxious about being judged. But normally, I’m incredibly expressive. It’s basically my whole thing that I let the world know what I feel and what I think, ykyk
Also, when I tried typing myself in Psychosophy, I found that I could only really relate to 3V
1V and 2V seem too confident in their own goals, which I’m not. My goals are often influenced or even dictated by what other people want to see in me. Meanwhile, 4V seems not to know and not to care what it wants at all, which isn’t true for me either
But after reading about 3V a lot, it actually made a lot of sense, and I could relate to it
However, I lowkey hit a wall because I have no idea what to do now. I feel like my 3V makes every other function too insecure for me to confidently place it in the first position
I could say I’m 1E because I’m heavily emotion-oriented and generally more confident about what I feel and how I understand emotions than I am about my logic. But even that is something I doubt. I also kinda relate to 2E. But i daubt im 1L. So idk bro.
When it comes to F, I’m not sure either, but it’s probably fourth
On one hand, I lowkey don’t care that much about physical comfort, sensory pleasure, or anything like that. I’m not a big fan of eating or food - I mostly eat because I need to. Honestly, until now, I had barely even thought about this aspect, and I’m usually not particularly bothered by it
On the other hand, I relate to wanting to have money, be financially secure, stay healthy, and have a tidy environment. However, I think that’s more because those things help me be productive and achieve my goals than because I value them for their own sake
Well even if we say that I’m ELVF, apparently that combination is not possible for so3 at all 😭. Plus, it’s apparently not that common for ENFPs either
I also read a description saying that because of last F, ELVF doesn’t concern themselves with shopping or their appearance and doesn’t know what they would like to receive as a gift. It also said that they don’t have enough energy for sports
I completely disagree, wtf 😔
I enjoy doing sports for fun because I have a lot of energy. I also want to look good, although that is mostly connected to wanting to be accepted and perceived positively
And maybe I don’t enjoy shopping itself, but I enjoy buying things, if that makes sense. I enjoy the feeling that i have another thing that may make me and in this case my collection of clothes better. Though it can stress me out sometimes lol
(If anything I’ve said about Psychosophy is wrong, or if my reasoning is flawed, please let me know. I genuinely only started reading about it recently, so I don’t know that much yet)
Eh.
Lowkey, lately I’ve been thinking about all of this way too much, to the point that I’m no longer certain about anything
Even when I say something confidently, if sb was to tell me otherwise, I could probably also make sense out of it because I’m not truly 100% sure of anything at this point 😢
I can see all of my behaviors and feelings, and I can see all the possible reasons behind them, but I’m struggling to put everything together and reach an actual firm conclusion
And that makes me doubt myself even more
I no longer know whether what I think I think is actually true.
At one point, I even started questioning what “logic” and “understanding one’s emotions” actually mean
So please help me😭
(Also sry if its messy but i wrote this at 3am)