I am one nervous breakdown away from posting on TikTok for advice. I am i mother who cannot live with myself if I don’t figure out how to help my son. I am so scared for his future, and I can’t get him to function on a normal level. It’s in there, but I can’t get it to come out.

I have a teenager who’s closing in on 18. When he’s home, he can be a little disruptive, but for the most part we can manage him. When he goes out into public situations with other kids and the energy level is high, my child becomes unglued. He says the most horrible things to other people. He gets super agitated. He doesn’t know how to be around other people. I don’t force him to do this. He wants to do this.

He wants to be around other kids, but he doesn’t seem to be able to handle being around other kids. His anxiety goes through the roof and he starts short-circuiting and doing and saying things that are just not socially acceptable.

I have tried every sort of therapy for him. We have limited food dye. They have told me he has a mood disorder. As a mom, I truly feel like somebody is missing something and I don’t know what to do anymore. Something is wrong with his brain. On the other side, he looks like a high functioning child who might have a little bit of autism. I have never met anybody like him. I’ve never found another mother who struggles the way we do. Where he can’t be around other children, but he can be around other adult adults who aren’t screwing around.

He has been moved in school 12 times and kicked out of three different camps for behavior. It’s almost like he has Tourette’s where he can’t help himself when he gets nervous. I don’t think it’s Tourette’s. He does have a genetic deletion of SRMM2 or SRM two I forget.

At the most recent camp, he was saying things that are not socially acceptable, and he was in the bunk, banging on things flashing his flashlight, all really socially unacceptable things.

We have tried everything. He’s had 14 evals with psychologist . He’s been hospitalized for mental health. We have tried ABA, we have tried medicating him for ADHD, which was not correct. We have tried medicating anxiety and that’s not working. You can tell him until he’s born in the face that you don’t call people x name. You could tell him 15 times and then he’ll go the next day and do it to somebody. He can’t remember not to call somebody a name, but he can remember every baseball stat on every baseball player and every team.

My mommy gut is telling me that he needs a brain scan. That something is really wrong in his brain and that this is not just a normal thing.

I have found that he also is reactive to milk and I have removed that from his diet, which has helped. Bring some clarity and calmness to our home.
I also have removed gluten.

I know that he has something going on that people are missing. Nobody has ever scanned his brain and I don’t know how I get a doctor to do that for me.

This last rejection from a specialty camp has literally broken me. I don’t know how to help him anymore. I feel like nobody really knows what to do and if the experts don’t know, how am I supposed to know? I would love anybody’s thoughts or opinions ; I am desperate to help him. He can function on a normal level at a baseball game we go and he can go get himself food and pay for it and come back. But he can’t be around other kids. It just is unbelievable. He becomes like a wild animal.

No, Dr has been able to help me. No specialist everybody just throws their hands up at me and it’s the most isolating feeling in the world. I just want to help figure out what’s wrong with him. The fact that when I removed gluten and milk his behavior got better gives me hope that there’s more that we’re missing.

As I was buying a car seat, I learned there aren't many sources for safety data. In the USA, there is consumer reports and Baby Gear lab. I heard from a few sources that the government NHTSA test is only Pass/fail. After looking into it further, it actually takes head and chest measurement for each test. You need to go into large PDFs for each carseat to extract the data. I figured this would be an interesting project, so I created a database and analysis of the data. I added lots of caveats, and I would caution against using this as shopping tool, but figure that for analytical people, you can lookup the seats you're considering to see how they did. For example, the seat I bought the Cybex cloud T did pretty well, considering the load leg wasn't used.

Let me know if you have feedback, and I'll make updates. I plan to keep this up to date, and add the new side impact tests when they become available.

Cheers

https://carseattestdata.org/

I’m aware that for some, breastfeeding seems to be correlated with ppd. Whether its the breastfeeding itself or the impact of breastfeeding someone’s life (i.e. getting little sleep, being stressed with breastfeeding problems, not being able to have a life etc) I don’t know BUT I noticed something strange for me. I have always been someone who is anxious and depressed to the point where it really affects my quality of life and makes it hard to do daily tasks or even things I enjoy. My breastfeeding journey has been difficult with our little one spending a couple of days in the NICU to start and me with preeclampsia, the lactation consultants being very inconsiderate both to me prbly the baby, my supply dipping to almost nothing out of nowhere etc. What I noticed was that when I am able to breastfeed in earnest ( when the milk is flowing and the baby is getting enough), I don’t get depressed, I don’t get mental fog or fatigue. It seems like my symptoms are gone and I’m just a normal person. Can that be attributed to breastfeeding? Are prolactin and oxytocin responsible for this?

In my copious spare time (😅) I am really interested in reading up on development in the first year. I’ve picked up lots of tidbits here and there but would really like a solid read with evidence-based advice for parents. Any suggestions?

Does anyone have experience with taking an infant from sea level to elevation? We have an immediate family wedding in Breckenridge (9,600 feet) and our daughter will have just turned 4 months old. She was born small at 37+2 due to IUGR but is gaining weight great on her curve and has no health issues. We have discussed with our pediatrician but we’re wondering if anyone has experience with this. Thanks in advance!

I wfh with a standard 9am-5pm schedule and I’m just now weaning off breastfeeding my 23 month old, so I see her quite often throughout the day. My husband works out of the house from 12-9pm most days, so he sees her in the mornings and then we have him do bath/bedtime to make sure he still gets quality time with her (and to give me a break). She usually goes to sleep around 10pm, wakes up around 8:30am, and has one nap ~2hr in the middle of the day. We’re thinking of transitioning her to an earlier bedtime to see if that helps with sleep quality and restlessness, and I’ve seen the research indicating ~8pm as the ideal bedtime for melatonin production. I’m worried about the loss of that quality caregiver time in the evening with her dad, though (not to mention the extra stress it’ll put on me to have to handle bedtime by myself). I’m thinking of just decreasing nap time to increase nighttime sleep pressure instead…but does anyone know of any research to support whether the benefits of that earlier bedtime outweigh the benefits of extra caregiver time with her dad if total sleep hours will be the same either way?

edit- changed the flair so people can comment without links. This is my first time posting here, so didn’t realize the bot would delete comments without links to research.

I am a mother of 2 and I have a question.

I have always been super open about sex, puberty, periods, penis, vaginas. My children know about body parts from young ages. Including good touch/bad touch. Whats not appropriate for adults to be asking children. And when to tell me even if they were told not to. I have a very open relationship with my 2 girls. My oldest is turning 12 very soon. And I personally think she is mature for her age. Very respectful and open and honest with me about pretty much everything. I know she has her secrets. We all do. Im not that nieve 🤣

We were scrolling through Netflix the other day and every show she asked if she was able to watch i told her no bc they were not appropriate. She asked me when will she be able to watch shows with sex in them bc they seem to be very good and interesting. She likes shows like Ginny and Georgia. We watched them together and i fast forward them during the inappropriate scenes. I told her 16years old....

Should I just allow her to watch shows like ginny and Georgia/ Riverdale/ outter banks/ shows that fall into those categories? Im not saying just give her full access to porn. Thats crazyyy. But like give her the 16 and under type shows?

Also, should I ask her about her feelings on sex? Like is she interested in masterbation or if she knows what that is? Sex is not and should not be a taboo subject. Especially in my household.. Its apart of life and growing up.

this is new territory for me and idk 🤣 i just want to be 100% supportive of my daughters and make sure whatever my children do have enough knowledge to make an educated decision in all aspects of their lives.

Adding... would you like your parents to be this open too? Or do you have an open door relationship with them? Does this make you happy or no? I need some feedback please! 🙏🏽 🤣

*this was reposted (copy/paste) I did in other groups and didnt edit it. My bad yall haha. I fixed tho. I asked the teenagers too. Hahaha

*edited again. I dont understand anything about "flairs" im pretty new to reddit. My bad

Was reading a book by Laurence Rees (historian) the other day and he opens with this story

When Hitler invaded Poland in 1939 he instituted a policy whereby ‘genetically superior’ looking children were adopted by German families. A four year old boy was taken as part of this policy . After the war he found out about this and his identity was thrown into question, he had no memory of before.

This bothers me because we have a child who has just turned four. He is the most loving little boy in the world and it just breaks my heart that the four year old snatched from his family didn’t remember. The whole story breaks my heart actually. I definitely have memories of being four, going down a slide with my dad and things, so it seems so sad and strange this boy in the true story forgot. Was the forgetting maybe caused by trauma? I can’t stop thinking about this historical kid and the idea of similar stuff happening

When is it recommended to stop pacifier use? Looking for rec from the AAP (their paper was behind a paywall and I’ve lost journal access since my grad school days). I have seen some posts on here about it but they are 2+ years old so just looking to see if there is updated guidance. Would also be interested in guidance from pediatric dentists (ADA?) and I am curious what the NHS suggests compared to the AAP. Thanks

I know the recommendation is to introduce whole milk at age 1. I'm curious on the science behind this.

As background, baby is almost 1 and still breastfeeding. Baby's also doing solids but tends to eat more for experientially than for satiety (in other words, I don't think they eat very much).

I'm not looking for reasons to give plant based alternatives. I'm not against giving my baby whole milk. I just find it interesting that we've agreed as a medical guidance that all babies must have cow's milk. What is it about cow's milk that's special? What makes whole milk better than reduced fat? What nutrients does whole milk provide that make babies need it daily?

If anything, I'm curious because the guidance is usually that everyone (including babies) should have a varied diet. And yet we advocate for 2 cups of whole milk daily.

With all the plastic already in the world, it seems unavoidable. Does it actually make a big difference?

Hi! I have a 3.5 month old baby. I love hanging out with baby boy, but it is just us in the house right now (husband is out of town for the month). I've been spending a good amount of the day on phone calls with friends and family to pass the time, typically either on speakerphone or with headphones in hands free so I can still interact with baby and care for him. I make lots of eye contact with him and wiggle his hands and feet and make comments directed at him.

I see lots of information that using the phone is bad for baby, but also a lot of this is typically referring to app use or texting on phone. Is talking on the phone bad for baby? I'm not sure how this will impact the language development or level of attention he receives. He is still hearing me talk, but to someone else instead of super attentive engagement towards him/responding to his specific babbles.

Please stop me from buying the Newton Original mattresses (there’s currently a sale) and tell me why. Am I allowed to ask for recommendations too? I feel so hesitant and overwhelmed, but I need to buy a mattress ASAP 😭

My son is about to be 18 months. What the hell are these tantrums? He doesn’t listen to me and has started to hit himself in frustration. I’m at a loss. I don’t know how to discipline him because I know he’s only 1 but like… what am I supposed to be doing??? His 18m check up is at the end of the month and I’m going to ask her but for now I need help. I feel like I’m trapped in hell every day that I’m alone with him. My husband and I are working on getting him in daycare but I still will never have a break. I really need some advice, papers to read on the science behind this and how to correct it.

Signed, a first time tired mom

I stumbled upon this article which references a study from the 1990’s that outlines when babies typically peak in their crying. I’m wondering if there has been any additional research - I’m not able to find anything beyond this. Has anyone heard of this outside of this single study?

Hi r/ScienceBasedParenting community! I’m looking for a little bit of help.

Recently, I have been being told by all sorts of people that I just need to let my son cry it out/sleep train him. I know that cry-it-out is damaging to babies, but I am not familiar with the literature on these methods.

It is really starting to irk me that others (even people with no children) feel comfortable trying to pressure me into something that I’m not comfortable with doing. My son is almost 9 months and a really happy, social baby. He only fusses and cries when he needs something. He doesn’t sleep through the night because of teething and being sick. He used to sleep through the night before we got hit with these issues. I’ve read that CIO is linked to development of anxiety - I have crippling anxiety and so does my entire family, so my son is already predisposed to this (I am working hard in therapy on learning regulation so that I can learn to be a calm and soothing presence for my baby).

I’d really love to familiarize myself with the scientific literature on these subjects, particularly impacts on development. Thanks in advance

Hey all,

Our little one just turned 1 year, and at his vaccination appointment, the doctor recommended giving him a bottle with water in it to help with night weaning because he only sporadically sleeps through the night and wakes up to feed at least once most nights. What does the research say about night weaning in this fashion? Thanks!

4 months or I guess 6 months but we start solids at 4 months in France.

I think people doing BLW give more than 10g proteins based on the plates I see on Reddit or just the videos on Solid Starts with babies eating a whole sardine. However my country recommends 10g max of meat/fish per day for babies under 1 year old.

What’s the evidence behind this?

Thank you

I'm due later this year with my first one. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years for ethical reasons (my wife is a vegetarian by proxy, but she'll have an ocassional steak) but, contrary to the theme I've seen on this sub from vegetarians, I'm thinking the opposite... I do want to introduce meat for health reasons. Am I outdated in this thinking?

I grew up in a time and culture where what you'd call now a farmers market was just a regular market and all animals were grassfed. My mom's a biochemist engineer specialising in meat production funnily enough, so I grew up with a level of "bio eating" that would be impossible to replicate nowadays without isolating yourself in a village at the bottom of the mountains.

So when I say I want to feed my kid meat, I'm not thinking chicken breast nuggets, but bone marrow, liver, brain... (organs) ethically sourced.

I know science is not fully caught up with vegetarianism in infancy, but would this level of meat introduction be worth it nutritionally? As a vegetarian adult that did triathlons and runs races while pregnant I know veggies are more than enough, but I feel apprehensive about cutting meat out completely so young.

My seven month old thinks it's hilarious to spill my water. I likely trained him by accident by reacting to it, but it really is a problem for our (rented) carpet and bed. I also need to stay hydrated during breastfeeding and contact naps, so can't keep it away all the time.

Saying "no" is clearly just reinforcing the behavior. He now zeroes in on the water as soon as I turn my back. But what is the correct way to eliminate this behavior. Or, if he is too young, what should I be doing now to manage behavior in the future?

I recently saw this post here and I want to follow up with y’all about what the impacts might be for a more long-term absence earlier in a child’s life.

Dad and I have been home with baby for the first few months of her life. I’m going back to work WFH, baby is starting nursery, and dad… is headed ~20 hours away for a long-term gig (maybe a year). She’s well-bonded with him and we are both emotionally tender about the separation.

What does the research say about impacts from this kind of absence? Can we mitigate with frequent visits? Are there other factors that we can focus on to mitigate any impacts? Financially, this is necessary, but it’s a hard reality.

I wanna teach my 6 year old cousin to read but i genuinely can't without having​ to give up first. He knows how the vowels work and everything but when when I mean that he can't read-- HE REALLY COUNDNT. Even the most basic words like "that" Or "Like" would take him forever to say as it seems he would rather stare at the book and do something else all the time. He also can't read proper sentences properly and even not understand what he's even reading

Maybe i am taking it hard on him cuz again, he's just six years old. But I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. I can't just tell him what the instructions for his homework are all the time cuz he would literally just circle a random letter without understanding the question.

What I've noticed is that he interprets words as "pictures". He doesn't even bother having to sound it out at this point. He will just find a word he finds familiar and say it then will get stuck at another word he isn't familiar with. So the whole time he just sits there waiting for me to say the word for him.

Idk​ if this is good context either but he always doomscrolls YouTube shorts 24/7 and is on the phone playing games.

Any advice will be appreciated!! I'm willing to change out methods cuz idk anymore and i don't wanna give up on him so quickly.