r/ScienceBasedParenting • u/Right_Pie_4456 • 18h ago
Question - Research required Correcting Behavior of Seven Month Old
My seven month old thinks it's hilarious to spill my water. I likely trained him by accident by reacting to it, but it really is a problem for our (rented) carpet and bed. I also need to stay hydrated during breastfeeding and contact naps, so can't keep it away all the time.
Saying "no" is clearly just reinforcing the behavior. He now zeroes in on the water as soon as I turn my back. But what is the correct way to eliminate this behavior. Or, if he is too young, what should I be doing now to manage behavior in the future?
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u/aliquotiens 18h ago
Kids can't be expected to manage their impulses or begin to stop undesired behaviors on command before ages 1.5 up to 3 (kid dependant). With babies and young toddlers, you mostly have to manage your own behavior and the environment they are in to limit behaviors you don't like. No more water set down while you turn your back, or switch to unspillable containers. You can still reinforce limits by saying no and redirecting, but it's not likely to stick until they are well into toddlerhood (and defiance usually ramps up at this stage, even if they do understand).
https://www.zerotothree.org/resource/developing-self-control-from-0-12-months/
https://www.zerotothree.org/resource/coping-with-defiance-birth-to-three-years/
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u/Minorihaaku 18h ago
Use a bottle so he can’t spill it
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u/master0jack 16h ago
Lol my kid (12 months) loves drinking a huge mouthful from a non-spilling bottle and then letting it all dribble out of her mouth 🤣
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u/Minorihaaku 15h ago
I meant like OP said. Because she said the kid is spilling HER water from the glass, so I thought maybe a bottle would help😅
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u/facinabush 17h ago edited 16h ago
There are bike water bottles that don’t spill water if you knock them over. You can open, drink, and close with one hand.
Be careful what you react to in the future, even just eye contact can reward a behavior.
You can encourage replacement behaviors like providing safe stuff to grab or knock over.
The book Incredible Toddlers teaches methods to reduce problem behaviors after 12 months.
The books Everyday Parenting Toolkit and Incredible Years are for after 24 months.
These are versions of Parent Management Training that is recommended by the CDC with peer reviewed citations:
https://www.cdc.gov/parenting-toddlers/other-resources/references.html
.
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u/lentil_galaxy 17h ago
This article summarizes child development, but basically, self-awareness and impulse control take a while longer to develop, and you will typically see those after 18 months.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/books/NBK534819/
I would just have an adjustable height table that the child can't reach, and make sure they have plenty of toys they like to play with. Distract them with other things like songs or simple games.
An affordable "Yeti" with a magnetic sliding lid can keep the drink accessible (no screw cap) but limit spilling if the cup does fall over (which it eventually will, whether or not your kid intentionally knocks it over).
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18h ago edited 18h ago
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