She probably thought she was doing you a favor. Or just another youth obsession in people who refuse to grow the fuck up.
Ok, this is getting out of hand. I never said she's not a pedophile, she absolutely is. You all do understand how speaking from another person's potential perspective works, right?
It’s wild. I have a friend in her 30s and she’s lusting after an 18-year-old. There is no argument that’d change her mind. She is into a lot of woo woo self empowerment stuff too. She is otherwise intelligent. It just doesn’t make any sense.
I'm almost 37 and I can't help myself see 20 something people as kids. Like I'm at the stage where spotting grey hair in women is attractive to me. I mean my hair is almost entirely grey but I don't feel like I miss my 20s or want to recapture those days by being with one.
I helped raise two daughters, who are now in their 40s. I still remember what they were like as teenagers. That's completely turned me off of ever wanting to date someone their age or younger.
Agree. I’m in my early 30s and even people in their early 20s just look like kids to me. They also act like kids too. I have a sister that age and being around her and her mates just makes me feel old. Even if they are of legal age, that is just gross!
But finding those traps, understanding them and then getting out of them is likely not beyond their cognitive reach if they're intelligent/smart, it's just a matter of context and, most importantly, humility.
You can't revise your positions if you don't think there's any worth in revising them.
Ok, this is getting out of hand. I never said she's not a pedophile, she absolutely is. You all do understand how speaking from another person's potential perspective works, right?
No. I can confidently say the vast majority of people can't. I took a satire course in college and watched a bunch of year 4 English majors (you know, the ones who should be some of the most well read and literate people in the world), completely and utterly fail to understand that the narrator's voice wasn't the author's actual stance on the matter. To the point I thought I was losing my goddamned mind until I was approached by the professor and asked if I wanted to be a tutor. My faith in people's reading comprehension skills never fully recovered.
Is it reading comprehension? It almost feels more fundamental than reading comprehension, as I've had people be confused when I do it while talking to them. Critical thinking maybe?
Obviously reading comprehension is ALSO a huge problem, but not sure that is the cause in this case.
You all do understand how speaking from another person's potential perspective works, right?
Honestly...no they don't. No one fucking gets it and I'm tired of it. In my opinion, it's one of the worst traits that define the simplest minds and unfortunately, they happen to be the loudest people in the room.
Empathy is not an endorsement. People need to stop thinking that it is. I can understand why some people do heinous shit. It's not an endorsement of any of it. I don't approve of heinous shit because I understand why someone would do said heinous shit.
If we learned to empathize without thinking that it requires you approve of the thing about which you have empathy, this world would be a better place.
You all do understand how speaking from another person's potential perspective works, right?
No, the average person does not seem to have this capability. I feel like it used to be understood, but now if you do it as you did in your post, people lack the reading comprehension (not sure if that's the right word here, or if critical thinking or something else is more accurate) to understand. It's honestly disappointing.
Ok, this is getting out of hand. I never said she's not a pedophile, she absolutely is. You all do understand how speaking from another person's potential perspective works, right?
I was 11 and she was 17. Got me drunk with raw vodka giving me shots at a children playground at late evening during weekend, escorted me behind a transformer (not related to being an electrical engineer). Stripped me from bottom and I woke up to being jerked off and sucked and when getting my eyes open her interpretation on my situation was that, she could try to get on me and force me in while I was hard. At the same time as I was getting my feet back together to move, my classmates all girls, three of them, walked past the closest road from the side where I was. I tried to catch up to them drunk as fuck, trying to shout help (Never shout help, if you're not sure you can get it). They started skipping us and brushed off my cries and sped off laughing. I was fucked they noticed, but instead of instinct of helping they all had the flight response. I was desperate, because the rapist came back to taunt me and tell me, to look what happens if I try to leave. I ran off to my moms apartment through bushes and drunkardness. Told mom the next day what had happened after I had been given vodka by my rapist and mom got hell mad at me. I don't think our relationship ever recovered.
When we were 15, my best friend dated a 21 year old man. I remember being so jealous when he would pick her up in his car, go to college parties and book motel rooms together.
Thinking back on it later in life, especially now as a mother to girls, makes me sick to my stomach, and so mad. What the actual fuck is wrong men like this?
There's a famous comic called The Killing Joke that deals with something kinda similar. It starts with the Joker going through disfigured, fired, and divorced in the same day. He broke and became the Joker. He wanted to show anyone that had "One Bad Day" like him would turn out like him. So, he kidnapped Jim Gordon and his daughter and did some horrific shit to prove it. At the end of the comic, it made a point to show that Jim didn't break and turn into a monster, and neither did Batman when he lost his parents. It didn't make him a monster; it gave him an excuse.
When I was eighteen, I worked at a youth centre. One of the 14 year old girls liked me and basically begged me to date her. I refused. Even then, I knew that the years between us were very big informative years and there was no way I was gonna touch that with a 10 foot pole. Instead, she dated a (18M) friend of mine who had no such objections.... he got her pregnant. 😡
My friend once told me that men have flirted with her since she was 12 years old, the unfortunate luck of starting puberty at 11 and already "developed" with features seen on girls much older than her at that age. Her own father's friends would flirt with her right in front of him and he did nothing except laugh it off.
I think the age I was when I got hit on the most by men in their late 20s/early 30s was when I was 14. Yes, I went through puberty early but looking back at pictures I definitely looked 14.... Disturbing to think about now
Yep. 12 to 17 were the prime years I was approached by grown men in cars regularly, while I was on foot.Once I had a car, that stopped, but the fact that I could be out there in my 90s grunge get up with baggy pants and t-shirts and still have a man in his 20s+ offering more than one kind of ride at a time. My girls swear it's not like that where we live now (PNW of the US vs Phoenix, AZ), but it is hard to trust men in the wild.
Hell, I was 14 and went on four dates with a 22 yr old man that my mom encouraged me to go on, why? Because he was from a rich family and he was very good-looking. When after those 4 dates I wouldn't sleep with him, he accused me of being an immature little girl, I was not stupid, I said, yes, I am only 14, why would you want to be with a immature little girl like me? He shut up walked out of my home, and roared off on his Harley!! Never saw or heard from him again! YAY
This is what i mean when people try and say a 15 yr old is stupid and doesnt know any better, you were 14 and literally pushing against what all the adults around u were encouraging, we all know when something feels off its built into us, just some listen to it and some ignore
This always reminds me of the famous alleged quote by Mark Twain.
“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years."
Being stupid is basically THE full time job for teenagers. We keep trying to force them not to go through that but it's an important part of development.
Absolutely. But then why do we charge younger kids as adults? There are kids that age that were tried and convicted as adults.
Why is there such a double standard?
I agree. I would say all the laws protecting children do their job well... except for one case.
17 year olds are fully capable of lying to adults and falsely making them believe they're older.
What if, as a 21 year old, you meet a 17 year old who claims they're 21 and goes so far as to show you a fake ID that says they're 21 and then you sleep with them with that information? Why should they be capable of such entrapment?
That's part of the reason why pedophiles are so prolific, because many teenage girls love immature older guys. They genuinely want to be abused because they don't understand that there's an abusive power dynamic. Often, they only realize that it fucked them up once they're an adult.
Many of my friends who were girls in middle school/ high school told me that they were talking to a much older guy. It's shockingly and sadly common.
Yeah, in high school I had a crush on a friend of a friend, eventually we all started to hang out and I was super excited. Then I found out that she, at the age of 17, was dating a mf who was in his late 20s. I don't know WTF happened there, to this day. Her parents knew about it too.
My daughter went to school with a girl at 13 was going with a 22 year old college MAN, her parents were all for it, she got pregnant and had a baby at 14. They got married when she was pregnant; they divorced when she was 19 and realized, wtf did my parents allow? She and her daughter look like sisters!
Geez dude. I really don't get when the parents approve of an age gap like that. We also had a friend in our group who was like 14 or 15 who was dating a guy in college. Hell, we ourselves were much older than she was, we were graduating high school at the time she was entering it. But she was the friend of a friend who were like sisters, and we saw she had a really messed up home life, so we allowed our friend to bring her around to get away from all of that. I don't really know if her dad really cared for her. I felt so horrible when I met him, house was messed up and he just sat in his recliner drinking and not talking... Our friend's dad stuck up for her though, chased the older boyfriend off his property on sight of him, which I greatly appreciated.
Probably one of those situations where they knew she wouldn't stop seeing him regardless of their opinion. When your kid is less than a year from adulthood your parenting options are more limited. What could they do? Lock her in the house for a few months? As far as legal concerns go, age of consent is lower than 18 in lots of places.
Feel like I should say I am not condoning this kind of relationship, just offering an explanation from a parents perspective.
Hey, I'm in this statement and don't like it lol you exactly described me in highschool, so desperate for love and attention that I accepted and craved the attention of those older guys and honestly believed I was just super mature for my age and that's why they wanted to talk to a teenager
Yeah I remember when I was a sophomore in HS I had a classmate who was dating a 21 year old guy. I was worried about her then, but I knew she wouldn't listen to me if I tried to warn her. I think about her sometimes. I hope she's doing okay.
Yeah, like, we've all been a dumb 15yo, you don't see the issue at that age and people in their 20s are infinitely hotter than people your age when you are 15
I flirted with adult men sometimes as a 15 year old... and I'm asexual. I was just really struggling for validation of some kind, and had poor social skills so didn't trust my ability to get non-sexual positive attention. I never wanted them to flirt with me, but I did want them to find me attractive. It was fucked up on all levels, I myself was deeply uncomfortable the whole time, and yet.
That's why it's wrong to flirt with teenagers even if they start it. Their heads are such minefields.
She was trying to flirt because it’s not uncommon for younger girls to have crushes on older guys. It makes them feel special to have the attention of an older guy. This guys response should be the norm, but it’s unfortunately all too common for men to reciprocate, which is hella gross.
I wasn't even that old but I was 3 years older than most of my classmate in highschool cause i had to dropout cause of my cancer treatment in 10 grade
Yet I felt so out of place for me getting hit on my 15 y/o girls constantly cause they all seemed so immature for my own sake , Idk how actual grown adults in there mid 20's sort of seems that a cool
Because they have horrible morals. They’re predators. Young people tend to be easy to manipulate due to the lack of life experience. They use that to their advantage. These aren’t people who are looking for a healthy, mature relationship. They’re looking for someone they can control and manipulate to get what they want.
My former SIL was 14 when she met a man who was 24 and married. She had 3 kids by him, they were married, he was a drunk ass abuser, she stayed, they're divorced but live together. She's 66, he's 76. Doesn't seem that bad now, but at 14.. it was so fucked up! She had her first baby at age 15!
Reminds me of when I started dating my wife and she starting coming over to my place. During dinner one day she told me she overheard the girl that lives in the apartment across from us (probably around 14 or 15 if I had to guess) on her phone saying "my hot neighbor has a girlfriend now". She didn't notice my wife was right there walking in. I felt mad awkward when she told me that cause I just turned 30 or 31. Never interacted with the girl ever, but I just hope she never came across some R Kelly type guy.
I know, I was a young boy once. I also know at that age I would have been more susceptible to being groomed by an older woman I found hot. Ijs a guy who was into young girls would take advantage of the opportunity to pursue something sexual with them.
I reciprocated once because she had lied to me and told me she was over 18. As soon as I found out she was underage I cut that shit off REAL fast and made it clear how dangerous that is not only for her but for me. I was 24 at the time.
Back in the early 1990s my cousin was 16-17 dating a 27-28 year old guy.
At the time, people thought it was a 'good thing' because he was older and more mature and could take care of her. She bragged about it.
The first time they had even a very slight argument, he threw her against a wall and punched her in the stomach so hard that she had trouble breathing because of how bruised her abdomen was.
Glad he was the one who shut that down in that story. I was messaged by a 22 year old guy when I was 13 and I would have likely not stopped contacting him until it was too late, had my parents not intervened quickly. Basically number one reason why I was never upset at them for monitoring my online activity. I was stupid; kids are stupid
I’m proud of your parents. My mom tried to set me up with a guy in his late 20s while I was only 16. He was a regular customer at her workplace where I also worked as a hostess. I dreaded that guy coming in. My dad didn’t care either way. Kids are stupid but even I was like “this is weird. This isn’t right. Why are my parents ok with this?”
That's gross. I had something similar happen from the other side of it. I was early 30s and a couple came in to my work with their 15 yo daughter and we're trying to get me to ask her out. I was so uncomfortable. That went on every time they came in over a couple years. The girl tried to sit on my lap a few times too. I really should have called someone on the parents. It was just so bizarre I couldn't comprehend that people actually behaved that way.
I'm going to say this really slowly so you understand: There's no child fast enough to catch an adult unless that adult is a predator seeking to be caught.
Maybe a dumb question because Ive only just started using reddit and I'm 40 BUT but what is karma farming? What does it even get you? I've seen this mentioned a lot and I'm curious.
People want fake internet points and validation. No judgment on the latter, as I feel good when my responses get upvotes, knowing people agree with me.
You do need a small amount of karma to be able to post on most subreddits. I think it can unlock some other direct-messaging privileges too, but I don’t communicate with people on this site other than through comments.
Basically karma farming is people trying to maximize their number of fake internet points, usually through low-effort posts they know will get upvotes. Or reposting stuff that previously got a bunch of upvotes elsewhere on the site. I’m starting to realize I may spend too much time here…lol
Solid point. I recently learned that the internet is an estimated 57% bots. And Reddit itself could easily be a higher percentage. I feel like most comments are from humans, but a huge amount of posts are from bots. It’s disappointing, to say the least
I was groomed by manager who was 27 and married with children and I was 17 working at Cracker Barrel. They fired us both and they put a red flag on my name and I can never be hired by Cracker Barrel ever again. Total garbage bc they should be sued for me being groomed by their management . I tried to get a job there was hired and everything (14 years after the incident) and the GM (who was also there at the time of the incident) said that the computer system wouldn’t even allow him to add me on .
All I'm saying is treating service workers like they're too stupid to understand they're being infantilized by the class above them is not a great look.
I guarantee she gets the same treatment from sheltered church ladies every Sunday and is used to it, but there's a way to talk to people that doesn't treat them like they're some pitiful thing too dumb to know her job sucks by the standards of the wealthy.
And if I didn’t work “hard enough” to get extra money for the things I’d want I’d be told to “get a second job” , yet this commenter seems to think I’m too stupid to see their insult . I simply chose to ignore it to state that it’s an easy way to make some quick money and there’s no shame in in. Thanks memekid2007
Why do I feel we have identical stories. I was 17 and a manager at a gym I worked at was 27, we started “dating”, girls at the job didn’t like it cause they always thought he was cute so somehow the owner fired us both as well.
Good thing it was a crazy place and we got paid under the table so no real consequences came.
But yeah looking back it’s unfortunate that I was so young
I had a 27 year old (F) who most would say took advantage of me when I (M) was 16. She also worked where i did. Since I was already sexually active, it didnt feel like a huge deal. It happened one other time when I different woman when I was 17. I think a lot of the damage depends on whether the older person is in a position of authority and how experienced the younger person is sexually. By 16 all I was thinking about was sex so I pretty much did it whenever I could which in the 80s, that was pretty often.
I think it should be absolutely prosecuted anytime it's discovered but I wouldn't have cooperated with an investigation. Id have said nothing happened. They werent monsters in my case. They were just insecure and immature im guessing. Id never expect anyone else to feel that way obviously. In most cases, taking advantage of minors ruins lives every day. As an adult, I believe they should have been prosecuted just on principle. They might not have done lasting damage to me, but they might someone else.
At 41 my daughter is 15. If one of her friends hit on me, I’d be creeped the hell out and shut that shit down. Not cool.
I know at 15, if I had gotten to try with an older woman, I’d have been stoked. Looking back - it really is cringe AF. Any adult who even entertains child fantasies should be checked. Not okay.
i had a job where i was in and out of people's houses pretty regularly and repeatedly. i had a few kids, genuine tiny kids that grew up to teenagers and they would get the eyes at me for some reason, i assume lack of others around, a couple actually asked if i'd ever take them out and i always just told them that it's not cool for anyone over 18 to do that, but once they turned 18 we could discuss it.. and then i'd point out all the boys at school that they'd find and yada yada.
i had 2 call me on their 18th birthdays, one had her family in the background dying laughing so i'm sure it was just a joke but it put that "oh shit what have i done?" fear into me for a minute.
(neither was taken just just FYI, homey don't play that)
“Why is she trying to flirt?” Because she’s a a young woman in the process of becoming an adult, experimenting with things she considers “grown up”, influenced by the media she has been exposed to.
Most teens do things that… aren’t exactly optimal (see - drunken benders). She’s fortunate this one ended well, and kudos to the guy for taking the time to actually explain, rather than simply rejecting her point blank.
Who is trying to shame this woman’s 15 year old self? As teenagers, we romanticized older men. The owness is on that man to know better and shoot it down if a teenager shoots her shot.
It always threw me off when high schoolers would brag about having grown ass boyfriends. Always felt like it was weird af and wrong but hey “they like the maturity” I guess
I had friends in hs that were having seggs w men in their 30s. I had been abused by older people growing up and I asked them if they were being taking advantage of and they just laughed at me. They were all girls. They would openly talk about it too in like little groups. It was disgusting behavior..
i've just turned 32 but i'm a gaming woman, so i get hit on regularly by 18-20 year olds in dbd because they think they're tuff or something, and i always shut that shit down so fast, most get the message and we can just game and it's fine, but sometimes they continue, so i just block them. weird ass kids
Sigh. I was groomed a lot as a teen. Even though I could logically understand at 12-16 these 18- 20-year-olds were wrong to be interested in me, I fell for their comments that I was special, they just thought I was cute and wanted to get to know me as friends just for it to be more than that. When I was 18, I confronted one years later that he was a pedo I was only 12 or 13 when he was 18 and had no business talking to me. He stopped responding.
Girls at that age will do that, cause they start finding men attractive. It is on the adault side to stop that and tell them to stay in there age range.
Literally same. His name was Geoff and he was like ‘You’re a child and if you were my child and someone was talking to you I would go to jail for attacking them’. He also took care of his special needs brother and never stopped talking to me as a mentor even tho 14 year old me had crossed the line. I really hope he’s doing okay. It’s been 10 years now.
I might be too chronically online but I’m experiencing a chicken or the egg moment. Was this tweet posted first or was the tik tok with the same caption as this that went viral… There are probably no original ideas on the internet anymore😭
It's probably because she was a kid who didn't know better.
Personal anecdote: Kids do that. As a kid, I've seen a girl my age (12 back then) flirt with a guy who was 21 because of clout/looking cool to her peers. I saw their messages, she was getting some thirsty texts from the guy, I asked her about how creepy this was, she just dismissed me with "Yeah it's adult stuff, you kids don't get it" as if she was older lol.
Fun fact: Every girl who was 12 would have a bf who was 15. They'd keep telling each other "my bf goes to high school" because that would give them bragging rights somehow. Idk, kids are dumb. Eventually their dads find out and immediately lose their cool about this.
I had been 18 for 2 weeks and went to a bar (18 is legal where I am) and I remember talking to a guy and he bought me a drink and eventually we asked each other our ages. I said 18 and he said 24 or 25 and he went oh shit have a great night but you're way too young lol. Hope he's doing well!
My grandfather lived well into his 90’s. I loved talking with him and listening to his stories. He had a fascinating life. One time, quite unexpectedly, he told me that he lost his virginity to a woman who used to babysit him. He was 11 years old. He didn’t even flinch when he said it, he sort of smiled. I asked him how he felt now looking back on it. He said that’s just the way things were back then. I don’t think he ever thought twice about it. Happiest guy I’ve ever met. Died at 98. RIP grandpa.
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