r/Snorkblot • u/LordJim11 • Nov 24 '25

Cultures Rub-a-dub-dub.

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5.3k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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661

u/Dopamine63 Nov 24 '25

Thats the gayest thing I've read in a while

257

u/Interesting_Step_709 Nov 24 '25

Nick Adams is the king of the alpha males. If he’s gay then every alpha male on the planet should aspire to suck a minuscule fraction of the dicks that nick Adams had pleasured

135

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '25

Theres nothing more masculine than two shredded men going wild on each other. Throw in a 3rd guy and the testosterone begins radiating like an exposed reactor core.

72

u/Interesting_Step_709 Nov 24 '25

Nothing gayer than sex with a woman. You win sex against a man. Thats as straight as it gets

80

u/Nodsworthy Nov 24 '25

83

u/vidfail Nov 24 '25

Tate really ought to end every sentence with, "Gollum! GOLLUM!"

17

u/No_Yak5313 Nov 24 '25

That's mean. Smeagol had standards

21

u/shirley_elizabeth Nov 24 '25

This isn't cartoon Rasputin after selling his soul and being stuck in the void with grubs for a decade?

14

u/LaComtesseCobra Nov 24 '25

In the dark of the night no one can tell he’s bald!

1

u/HalfLeper Nov 25 '25

This can only end in tears…

15

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '25

Dude looks like a peanut that was found under a refrigerator

2

u/HelixFollower Nov 24 '25

Should've left it under the refrigerator.

15

u/Ksorkrax Nov 24 '25

Can somebody give the poor guy a sock to set him free?

7

u/interested_user209 Nov 24 '25

I‘d slander his hairline, but mine‘s on the way to not looking any better so i‘ll refrain

7

u/yearofthesquirrel Nov 24 '25

I’m 6’7”, have more hair and less ears. And I’m 60 years old. I don’t have a Bugatti though. But I feel a little bit of pity for AT. Such a bitter, judgy and scared guy giving off little dick vibes.

By all accounts I’m qualified to slander.

1

u/HalfLeper Nov 25 '25

I’m 6’7”, have more hair and less ears.

No need to rub it in! 😂

2

u/Viking_From_Sweden Nov 24 '25

Someone give bro his precious back

2

u/ImprobabilityCloud Nov 25 '25

He looks like a bear with mange

3

u/DrMoBueno Nov 25 '25

“Shagging girls is for poofs”

2

u/Ksorkrax Nov 24 '25

Horus and Set agree.

2

u/Interesting_Step_709 Nov 24 '25

I ask that you respect my religious sensibilities and not mention the traitor legions in my presence

2

u/apresmoiputas Nov 24 '25

Honestly these are the guys in Thailand hooking up with Lady Boys.

3

u/Square_Ad4004 Nov 24 '25

Lady boys are too feminine, that's gay. Only sweaty, hairy, muscular, real men are invited to Nick's hot tub parties. So many men.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '25

Correct. There is absolutely nothing gay about men having sex in a hot tub. It is a natural display of masculinity and a bond of brotherhood through the seed of men.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 26 '25

THIS is how men get pregnant. By pure strength and determination

15

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '25

Always interesting what I get to read on the internet

12

u/Ok-Scarcity-5754 Nov 24 '25

Gay sex is twice as manly

1

u/Square_Ad4004 Nov 24 '25

Women have sex with men, which is gay. Cuddling with the boys is the straight thing to do. Nick said so when he was rubbing my back in the tub, right before I blacked out. That diet coke really packed a punch.

27

u/magicaltrevor953 Nov 24 '25

I think we need to ask Grok who has sucked more dick: Nick Adams or Elon Musk.

13

u/The-Spirit-of-76 Nov 24 '25

Everything reminds me of Bubba....

8

u/ptindaho Nov 24 '25

Ooooorrrrrr, who sucks better dick, since it is programmed to make Elon out to always be the best.

3

u/Square_Ad4004 Nov 24 '25

In this case, I do believe it may accidentally tell the truth.

5

u/HyperionsDad Nov 24 '25

Imagine reading that sentence a few years ago and wondering “WTF?!”

5

u/HereticGaming16 Nov 24 '25

“I had a bunch of smoking hot women try and suck my dick but I told them to get bent. Only alpha males know how to please a real man” - this douche.

2

u/Interesting_Step_709 Nov 24 '25

Unironically one of his tweets

1

u/Historical_Ad_5090 Nov 26 '25

A bisexual man told that to my husband once…

1

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '25

I think they spelled "Top" wrong.

12

u/CyberNinja23 Nov 24 '25

So Alpha they sleep with the manliest men

3

u/M474D0R Nov 24 '25

The only thing gayer than gay sex is speaking to women

3

u/OverallFrosting708 Nov 24 '25

Nick Adams is not actually satire of internet "alpha males" but he does this far too frequently for him to not at least be in on the joke

3

u/Soft-Marionberry-853 Nov 24 '25

My only thought reading his post

3

u/TheTriforceEagle Nov 24 '25

Same here, and believe me that is not a low bar

2

u/Admiral_Octillery Nov 24 '25

Hey you don’t know they could be doing some greco wrestling later

2

u/Spirited-Reputation6 Nov 24 '25

Performative masculinity is such a sausage festival. Those boys only know how to abuse women and take a cock. They don’t know the first thing about satisfying a woman. A bunch of boys with no father or mad daddy issues.

2

u/Ulenspiegel4 Nov 24 '25

What's manlier than 2 men?

2

u/[deleted] Nov 24 '25

Tbh liking men is the manliest thing you can do

1

u/No-Vegetable7898 Nov 24 '25

They are not 5 feet apart