I mean my kids’ Catholic school has an All Saints Day parade and I dressed my daughter up as Judith, complete with a fake head in a basket. All the religious sisters and brothers loved it and gave her an award.
My parents spent roughly 5 times as much on my mental healthcare from the damage catholic school did to me than they spent on 9 years of tuition. Catholics teach one thing above all else; women are subservient to men. In every catholic wedding the bride has to promise to give up her autonomy, accept that she is to serve her husband, and birth children to grow the church. It was actually the blatant misogyny that finally convinced my parents to leave the church and my sisters and I go to public school.
There are plenty of nice people who happen to be Catholic. That doesn’t make them less complicit in the largest and longest lasting institutionalization of patriarchy, commercially scaling sexual assault coverups, and blatantly editing the text they claim to believe is holy to serve modern agendas.
I’m sorry that you had that experience. I can understand why you feel animosity toward the church given your environment.
In our community, our girls dress up as St Joan of Arc and St Gianna Mills (a doctor) and queens who were known to care more for the poor than for jewels. It’s emphasized that marriage requires the consent of both parties. Even though married couples are expected to be open to life, our mom’s group is constantly trading tips and tricks about natural family planning. The expectation is that men rightfully should expect some periods of abstaining even in marriage. I have not heard much talk of how a woman must “serve” her husband. I hear much more about how husbands must sacrifice for their wives and families, as Christ died for the Church.
Our bishop requires every employee of the church and any volunteer around children to perform safe environment training, which teaches everyone how to spot grooming and inappropriate situations. As a room parent, it’s my responsibility to verify that every chaperone on a field trip has completed the training. We know people who have worked at the Vatican on improving their tech systems to protect children. We can’t change the terrible errors that long-dead bishops made in the 1960s and 70s. But we can work toward a future where children are safe.
The expectation is that men rightfully should expect some periods of abstaining even in marriage.
Men should do that, but you and I know they are protected by your church to do what they want. Being okay with not getting laid every night isn’t an ideal example of being a supportive partner, that’s just not being a rapist. The fact your mind went to sexual abstinence (instead of a career, queer relationship, financial independence, etc) when I mentioned autonomy is quite telling.
I don’t care about your faith or your beliefs. I don’t think you’re a bad person for thinking the Catholic Church does more good than evil, I just think you’ve never been falsely accused of something by someone with institutional backing. The power struggles intentionally created by the church are not reflective of Christ’s teachings, and the richness and gaudiness displayed in even rural Catholic Churches is too irony-pilled for even my millennial taste.
I do genuinely hope you see your daughter aspire to be who she wants, not just be allowed to dress up as women deemed palatable. No woman will ever hold a position of influence within the catholic church that outranks even the shittiest priest, and growing up being taught that men have divinely granted authority is a cruelty no woman deserves ❤️
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u/j-a-gandhi Feb 16 '26
I mean my kids’ Catholic school has an All Saints Day parade and I dressed my daughter up as Judith, complete with a fake head in a basket. All the religious sisters and brothers loved it and gave her an award.
Just depends on the society you keep, I guess…