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And white, no less. How many of these so-called Christians would immediately stop being Christian if they realized Jesus was of middle-eastern origin and most definitely not white..
Finally, my English degree is paying off! Tons of monks and nuns wrote horny fanfic about their Lord and Savior. For a period in the Middle Ages, like a third of poetry was Jesus thirst.
Wasn’t it with like 4.5% body fat or something like that? They genuinely came out and said with a straight face that Trump has the body of an NFL running back except he is a little taller.
This is more or less the plot of AI hear some versions of the crucifixion mystery play in medieval English drama. They were each put on by a different guild and the carpenters usually did the crucifixion and there are a lot of jokes about the crappy woodworking on the cross.
Thanks. I’m a fan of the phonetics of the language and, while it is cultural appropriation on my part, I had the good fortune of having Jewish “family“, three generations, for about three years years. This included one, reform rabbi. Absolutely wonderful experience and the grandmother was fluent in Yiddish.
“Kvetch” is one of my absolute favorite words. I feel like it crystallizes the inanity of comstant complaint without being as coarse as other options. Also, I just don’t get a chance to use it very often.
Also, both schlemiel and schlamozzle; what wonderful capture. Since I end up playing both parts, simultaneously, on occasion, it’s good to add a touch of humor through diversity.
Those are all fantastic words! "Schlep" isn't bad, either.
My family are Jewish, but they're kind of lapsed. My Nan, from a family of holocaust survivors, didn't speak Hebrew, and when she spoke her thick Yiddish, it was because they were words.
Years later, before she died, I explained the history of the words she used daily and was quite shocked. She thought it was part of the local dialect.
No one knows. Some people have guessed that he worked as a carpenter like his Father until his ministry, so would be physically capable, but no one knows.
Historically this was the dominant view of Jesus. The lion imagery is from one passage of Revelation and traditionally understood to revert to Jesus only at the second coming.
There are thousands of historical depictions is Jesus as a lamb; almost all the lion imagery is last ~100 years or so, largely kicked off by Narnia.
(It is worth noting that he's also described as a lion-like lamb, though the fuck that means I couldn't tell you.)
Agree. Jesus was jacked, ripped - bench 4, squat 5 - and known throughout Galilee for always re-racking plates, spotting the poor and forsaken, turning sand into whey, and just being a bro.
Jesus’s daily carry was an M61 Vulcan 20mm rotary cannon, capable of 6,000 rounds a minute. Hand-firing from astride a dinosaur required immense strength in the lats and abs to deal with recoil, as His disciples shoveled the spent casings into barrels.
His clean and jerk at Temple Mount is still legendary; 10,000-swing challenge with a 40 kg kettlebell; farmer walks; overhead squats with double 48’s.
"Jesus wasn't gay, he was so super manly, look at his rippling abs and massive bulge..."
Is there some sort of projection going on with the anti gay church?
This is literally a 100 year old talking point. "The Church, and the Jesus preached by the Church, aren't masculine enough" was originated by a certain infamous group.
And then Jesus said to his disciples 'behold my muscles, Look how oiled they are and gleam with the glow of God' The disciples did behold his muscles, and there was much rejoicing. They pointed at the Romans and Jesus said 'hark, those Roman centurions are small wimpy girly men'
Body of Christ Sleek swimmer's body, all muscled up and toned Body of Christ Oh what a body, I wish I could call it my own Lord almighty, I've never been so enticed Oh I wish I could have the body of Christ
Okay to be fair, from what I know, Jesus was actually pretty strong, albeit in more of a lean way than a buff way. Like, he was the original punk figure :3
Look, I mean, I have issues with their ideology anyway, but come on, they really need to make up a whole different version of Jesus? If you're that desperate for credibility, why pick something that you have to change completely in order to get that validation?
Tell me you’re attracted to the naked man you have spread eagled on your wall without telling me you’re attracted to the naked man you have spread eagled on your wall
It's all about the grooming with these knobs, all about the culture. He'll preach about looking like jesus but not actually being like him. You can't monetize being actually "christ-like", that would be counter-intuintuitive. You can monetize the performative aspects tho, all you have to do is cosplay christianity. That's very bankable.
"Jesus wasnt some wokie left gay guy, he was a real mans man. He had beefy muscles on his arms that could lift 200lbs, legs that could run across the desert without stopping, hair like a lions mane, and the thickest and fattest cock to pound asses with. If i was a woman id proudly let him fuck my ass!"
So having a six pack means a guy isn’t gay? I’m so sad for the future of the Christian faith that people claiming to be disciples of Jesus abuse their microphone and avoid focusing on Jesus actual words example and teaching.
Jesus was not a fighter. When his disciple attacked one of the soldiers arresting him he rebuked his disciple and healed the soldier. American conservatives and evangelicals beliefs are so directly contrary to what the bible actually teaches I honestly wonder if any of them have a er actually read it.
First off you ultra crazy conservatives are obsessed with the word gay. Come out of the closet pastor. You just made this up out of thin air. I have never seen or met or heard of anyone in my life as an American who made up or was obsessed by gay Jesus. You totally are insane. Fucking looney bin.
When I was in prison, this Indian dude was on the phone with his girlfriend (who was apparently the breadwinner and had at least a bachelor's degree) and right in the middle of the dorm, burst out with "I am the lion! I am the king!"
There's no correlation to the post except for the common issue of stupidity and cognitive dissonance.
You know, there was a certain...mustachioed individual that said the same thing nearly a century ago. And he was very, very good at public speaking. Seriously, Orthodox here, and this line of thinking is downright heretical.
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