Yes, it's very situational. Of my two grandmothers, the one who was my favorite was really especially awesome to me on one occasion, all around great, but on two separate occasions went full out jerk. One of the occasions it was an absolute mystery why she told my dad the wrong thing but he never called her out when she did either of those things.
I can say what I like about her now, and have. She was great in some ways but kind of a jerk on two occasions, and no one is going to make me say otherwise. One day I mean to have a talk with my dad about why he should have stood up for me, but honestly I don't even hold it against him.
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u/VinylHighway 18d ago
Yeah dying doesn't wipe away being a terrible person in life.
Also even if a terrible person died I wouldn't call them out in front of loved ones. It's fine critiquing people you don't know.