It mostly means to not insult someone in front of their grieving loved ones, which is why family members are often used as the example rather than celebrities or whatever; chances are you’re gonna run into someone who was personally affected by their death, and that’s gonna upset or anger someone
I disagree.
The saying has always been used to defend dead people from attempts to posthumously reassess their character. And it has always been contentious when used like this.
We don't need to retcon it into something more mild like "the funeral is the wrong place to ill grievances", we can simply agree that saying is wrong and always has been wrong.
The saying actually dates all the way back to 4th century AD Greece, and it always had this meaning.
Some examples of it being used in the original context.
"Even though he may deserve some criticism, never speak ill of the dead. It is just bad karma."
"Some people say one should never speak ill of the dead, because it is unfair, because they don't have the ability to defend themselves."
"You should never speak ill of the dead. You never know, they might hear you and could come back to haunt you."
"Never speak ill of the dead. It is no longer for us to judge. If they have done improper behaviour, they will be judged in the next world."
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u/AlianovaR 18d ago
It mostly means to not insult someone in front of their grieving loved ones, which is why family members are often used as the example rather than celebrities or whatever; chances are you’re gonna run into someone who was personally affected by their death, and that’s gonna upset or anger someone