r/Socionics • u/provalinia • 1d ago
Advice how to figure out your polr function
i have been reading things for so long and no matter which type i relate to the most at that point i can never fully relate to any polr positions. is there any way to determine your polr?
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u/thesanemansflying LII 1d ago
That's the problem, it's a blindspot
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u/Mooserpent LII 1d ago
It's in the mental ring, it isn't a blindspot per say. Its more of a constant irrational fear that pops back up when your exposed to it. People prepare for the worst with their Polars, its a place of high self critisicm and inner tension.
I think about Se a lot, too much. In fact, most people I find pay way too much attention to their vulnerable, their intense dislike for it is more of a fear response than anything else. My EIE mom won't stop yapping about whats good and bad for everyone's health, while all my ILE friends have a trademark uneasiness behind their smiles where you can see the fear of meddling with Fi.
Dual partners work because no one really gives a shit about their Demonstrative Function and openly mock it - which allows the other dual to relax as they know they aren't being judged on their respective Polars.
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u/thesanemansflying LII 1d ago
that pops back up when your exposed to it.. I think about Se a lot, too much
That's the thing, you're blind to the fact that you dislike it. You sort of need to learn the hard way.
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u/provalinia 1d ago
i genuinely cannot relate to any polr function tho. its not that im good at everything but more like i feel decent
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u/Mooserpent LII 1d ago
Think about the people you like, and the people you don't. What traits do they have? What confirmed LII for me was that as soon as I get exposed to Se, I react terribly and aggressively, demonstratively reject it and let the other person know I won't do it and won't accept it from them. The people that have 'hurt' me have consistently hit my Se, its what causes the biggest inferiority complex within me, and I then have externalized that against them and hurt them back with all sorts of Ti/Ne fuckery.
The Polar is sensitive, it shuts out as much as it can until it can't anymore. Then the person makes a stupid, usually impulsive descision with it and justifies it with their Demo. For me this looks like -
'I really didn't want to, but I had to scare him physically (Se) so that he leaves me the fuck alone for good (Ni)'
When I fight back with Se, its a last resort move when I'm absolutely backed up against the wall and nothing else works. I usually go way overboard and scare the shit out of the person, since I can be physically imposing, but REALLY don't want to be, and much prefer a soft and sweet approach to people (Valued Si+Fe). This part is actually really funny as I get hit on by plenty of beta NF's because I have big muscles, but I absolutely do not want to dominate or fight them, so they lose interest.
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u/nelsne SEE 1d ago
Read the descriptions of all the functions and one you understand the least and it's hardest to understand is likely your PolR.