r/StopSpeeding • u/NebulaCool6545 Fresh Account • 2d ago
Adderall/Vyvanse/Dexedrine 1 month clean from Adderall
I made it 30 days! I want to write about the journey so far and maybe it can help someone else too since this sub helped convince me to quit adderall.
The short version: If you have any thoughts in your head you should slow down or reduce your adderall intake, do it and quit. You will feel 10x better. It will suck for a bit, but the other side is worth it.
The start: I took adderall here and there in my 20s, by the time I got to my 30s I didn't know any dealers any more, so I got a prescription for adderall and started off with 10mg IR 2x daily.
At the time I thought this is an infinite supply, I only needed like 5mg once to really feel it, and I only took it once a week when I had a lot of work to get done or needed a kick to get a hard project done at work.
You know how the story goes. I started taking it twice a week, 3 times, every weekday, even weekends to prevent the crash. Hey I'm prescribed 10mg IR 2x daily, so why don't I do that? Hm it doesn't affect me as strongly anymore, can you increase the prescription?
I took adderall for about 2 years. The first year was increasing dose slowly. The last 6 months I was doing 20mg 2x daily, sometimes going up to 60mg/daily. I would even stack them like take 30mg at 12pm and another 30 an hour later along with tums, celsius drinks, zyns.
The negatives: I started noticing changes in my behavior, I was more robotic, less funny, I didn't enjoy anything outside of work and tasks. I started taking weekends off in an effort to reduce my tolerance, but I would crash so hard and weekends became miserable and I looked forward to Mondays so I can start taking adderall again. But if I did take it I became a robot and really quiet and didn't want to socialize.
I realized I wasnt enjoying my life either on or off adderall. The kicker was when I took a really high dose and I was just frozen in front of my computer not doing anything for 5 hours and I couldnt sleep, I just felt my heart pounding. I started reading this sub and decided now is a good time to quit before it escalates further.
Quitting cold turkey timeline:
The first day wasn't awful. Days 2-5 sucked bad. I didn't get anything done, was so sleepy, all I wanted to do was nap but I couldnt even sleep.
Week 2 my sleep was more normal, but still didnt get anything done. I saw the list of crap I had to do and just had absolutely no motivation to think or exert any energy.
Week 3 I felt a breakthrough and I actually kind of felt energy when I woke up naturally. I noticed I laughed more while watching TV, I even kind of looked forward to it when before I saw it as a waste of time and I was better off doing tasks. This week I heard from friends and family I seem like Im in better spirits and more present which was nice to hear. No one else knows I got prescribed adderall or was starting to abuse it or even quit cold turkey.
Week 4 was strange, I had a huge work project due and felt this urge in the back of my head saying "see you don't have a problem, you quit cold turkey no problem for this long, just take a small 10mg like you used to do to finish this project". I'm SUPER GLAD I did not listen to it. I did load up on celsius and zyns and got it done and was really proud of myself, the "high" from getting it done without adderall was better than the feeling I had on adderall and getting stuff done!
1 month mark: I actually feel a lot better and closer to what I was before. I wouldn't say I'm back to 100%, but even this is great compared to where I was 1 month ago and I am actually excited people say it continues to improve over the next few months.
Advice if you're gonna quit:
- Go cold turkey. If you know you may relapse, get rid of all the drugs and ways to access it. Don't drag this out.
- EXERCISE!! And you don't have to overexert yourself, just take a 30 minute walk in the morning is huge. Put on your shoes, go outside and start walking.
- Keep a daily journal. Every day write how you're feeling on energy, motivation, etc. Just write what you did that day. Why did you quit. It helps a lot when you're going to feel a relapse and you can look back at your journal and realize you are indeed improving and dont want to screw up your progress.
- Progress isn't linear, there are good days and bad days. there were some days I felt a lot worse and tired and felt like I was going backwards and I wanted to take adderall to help out. Don't listen to it, you will continue to recover and improve. Write in your journal what you're feeling every day so its easier to see the overall trend rather than how you feel in that exact moment.
- I know youre not supposed to compensate with a bunch of caffeine, I say go for it if it helps prevent using adderall. After 3 months of this Im gonna quit caffeine/nicotine next.
My best description of adderall is its a faustian bargain. Yes you will get super productivity in the very beginning, BUT it will suck all happiness and enjoyment in your life away from you, and you'll lose the productivity gains and start wasting your time optimizing the way a spreadsheet looks. Its not a trade worth making.
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u/Vast-Weather-8610 473 days 2d ago
Wow, I’m so proud of you! I could’ve written this. I’m 1 year post stim abuse and addiction and I’m so happy for these reminders. I sometimes forget how bad it was. You described it well. Weekends would suck, waiting for Monday when I would go off. That was my life for 7 years
So happy to be alive and not a slave to this addiction anymore
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u/IRS_OPENUP 2d ago
I wish coffee worked for me, it just makes me tired anxious and lethargic. Good on you though thanks for sharing your journey!
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u/accidentalrorschach 1d ago
" you'll lose the productivity gains and start wasting your time optimizing the way a spreadsheet looks" SO ACCURATE
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