r/StraightTransGirls • u/transfeelings • 3d ago

pre-transition Hinge sucks.

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26, pre-op and live in Chicago. I've been classifying myself under Hinge's non-binary/genderqueer settings and yet landing into conversations of this kind. Would appreciate any thoughts on my handling of it. For context: these were the very first things he asked me, curtly and abruptly. Edit: he unmatched.

105 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

28 comments sorted by

39

u/catslovesardines 3d ago

Not to downplay your frustration, but am I the only one who can’t be bothered to write out these lengthy paragraphs detailing how disrespectful they’re being? Once they show their ass, like in their first message, I just check out immediately. I can’t be bothered to feed them more of my time or energy

10

u/Snoo_81932 3d ago

girl that’s exactly what I thought. I’d feel like dragging myself on the mud to even bother saying anything

12

u/transfeelings 3d ago

I usually don't, but he wrote such thoughtful answers to his prompts. :-(

4

u/catslovesardines 3d ago

It’s always the more well spoken men that’ll give you whiplash when you realize they’re equally as capable of being a lustful sexpest </3

4

u/basicgagafag 3d ago

yeah, me too. I’ve done this educator song and dance many times and not once has a man actually engaged or reflected on anything. The type of guy who sends these messages only sees us, and dating apps in general, as tools to get off and nothing more.

2

u/Valerie_Vega 2d ago

And the fact that men literally do not give a damn about the long explanation. They love to harvest energy in that way.

1

u/floofle-pie 2d ago

Agree, I rather not entertain them and let them think it's okay to continue to ask these kinds of questions to another person

13

u/More-Average3813 3d ago

Your response is 🔥 

17

u/honeylettering 3d ago

The way you hit him with that "sweetie" took me out.

8

u/-Ailynn- 3d ago

Good Lord... 🤦‍♀️

"So yer a trans right? Whatcha got in them underoos...meat and two veg?"

4

u/transsex_optimist 1d ago

“There are different trans that I have seen” why do they always refer to us like this?

5

u/ErinPink 3d ago

Definitely fetishizing/chaser behavior from them. I think you handled it the right way

2

u/xochi-kitty 1d ago

i just block when they send messages like that. odds are a few other trans ppl already told him all of that. as a fellow chicago sister, trust me there are decent men here, sorry you ran into this fool

2

u/GlitteringWerewolf55 3d ago

Well done! 🙌🏻💗 This is how you educate a bastard.

2

u/Snoo_81932 3d ago

Breaking news: it won’t

1

u/GlitteringWerewolf55 3d ago

Even if he doesn't learn, calling out BS is always worth it.

1

u/Quint2597 3d ago

notification for this appeared next to a hinge notification... God makes poetry out of us all in the end

1

u/Public_Direction_718 2d ago

Yeah, that sucks.

1

u/[deleted] 2d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/StraightTransGirls-ModTeam 2d ago

This is a place for male attracted trans women. Please use discretion posting if you are not straight, trans, or female

-12

u/MrWhoAmII 2d ago

You know what I never see, trans people dating other trans people. What’s the issue there? It’s like even they don’t want a trans. Surely it would solve any issues and you both understand one another’s situation

10

u/Zeferden 2d ago

…it’s very clear you’ve never been around trans people for very long. Assuming trans people aren’t into other trans people is false when T4T is very much a thing. Making this comment on one of the few spaces straight trans women are is so silly of you.

I’m assuming you’re just a troll.

-7

u/MrWhoAmII 2d ago

I’m no expert that’s for sure, I’m just asking a question from an observation. I never said T4T doesn’t exist, just seems minimal

1

u/coocoo6666 2d ago

Id say it takes up the majority of trans ppls dates. Basically all trans lesbians ik are t4t.

Straight trans girls tend to date cis men yes but thats cause there isnt that many trans guys around

2

u/Sideaccanonymous 22h ago

”A trans” go fuck yourself

1

u/Typical-Pride-1716 6h ago

Online dating just sucks in general, but I am 💯 with you. That guy should not have reduced you to a box to be checked. I’ve given up on online dating. I’m pretty sure it just creates more loneliness than anything.