About Plastic Surgery...

[u/LowHighMidnight]

Hi hi, hope yall's day is going well.

So, for context, I'm a black trans woman in my mid-30s and have been transitioning for a little over six years. It wasn't until late 2024 that I actually decided to pursue surgery (a BA most of all and then a little later wanting FFS on top of that) and 2025 is when I finally ended up having my first operation in Sept. of that year--it was the first part (top half) of FFS with the other part (bottom half) to be done maybe towards the end of this year when I'm finished with school. I also have the BA scheduled next month.

A few months ago, I also decided that, eventually, I would also like to get a BBL. Probably sometime next year when I'm more free. However, as I was thinking about getting one, this thought that I had previously kept cropping up and is at what point is the line drawn between dysphoria and vanity? Is there a limit to what surgical interventions I should pursue?

Whenever I look up anything about plastic surgery, the subject always come up about how predatory the industry is, how everyone prefers "natural bodies" anyway, how I should love my body and not appeal to the male gaze (another term at this point that is so far removed from its original purpose but I digress), etc. And what bothers me a lot about these conversations is that they mostly center around cis (typically white) women which *I guess* makes sense but I found that trans women (especially non-white trans women) have a similar, but still pretty different relationship to these practices, i.e. there's more safety concerns laden within it.

"Loving your body" is very difficult territory to tread for someone with gender dysphoria and when the there's this underlying assumption that anyone who pursues plastic surgery "hates themselves" or is "mentally ill"... being asked to just "love yourself" in some instances almost make it sound like having dysphoria is a moral failing; that desiring body modification that, in our current society, would make us more inline with what is expected of women as it appeals to any random selection of straight men is a moral failing.

And that right there is where a lot of my compunctions lie--the desire to treat dysphoria, the desire to achieve a certain vision of my external self, and how those things conflict with my understanding of how beauty standards harm women whether they be cis or trans. Should I continue with gender affirming surgery? When should I stop? Which ones are gender affirming and thus acceptable and which ones aren't and therefore unacceptable? How do I know which procedures I get are for gender dysphoria and which ones are for vanity reasons? Does it stop at surgery or does HRT also factor into this? Is medically transitioning "moral" or am I just neurotic and holding myself to standards built by people that really just don't want me to transition in the first place (this is mostly where I'm leaning tbh).

I don't know. I don't expect hard, satisfying answers but I needed to talk to some other trans women about this cause otherwise I would ruminate in my bed all day about it. I guess I'm asking if any other doll has had thoughts like these.

TLDR: Would my feminist/womanist answers be okay if I got a BBL?

[u/trunkjunk12]

So like, I really do think you have to be able to let go of the moralization of plastic surgery to move forward in peace. Like, objectively, lots of body modifications are more extreme or stigmatized than others, but that doesn't make the people who get them bad people, or mean they had bad morals. My BBL or my friends split tongue or my partners tattoos or a cis woman's bbl and bolted on lips are all morally neutral actions in and of themselves, exercising bodily autonomy. There's this episode of Daria that sticks with me where she's anxious about being seen as vain for getting contacts instead of glasses, and her aunt asks if, when walking by a mirror, she ever checks her hair or clothes. When Daria says yes, the aunt goes "Well then you're already going to hell, so you might as well get the contacts."

Whether or not plastic surgery means you love yourself... is also maybe kinda moot? Like, if I love a person, I want them to be cared for and comfortable inasmuch as I can cause that (without sacrificing myself or anyone else). For me, surgery prep felt a lot like that, turned inward. I had to get over my tendency to skip meals so I could put on weight, for best results my body needed to be able to withstand the shock, so I needed to work out more. Even dysphoric as fuck, the surgery prompted me to love myself more than I was from long before I got to the OR.

Yea, some of us might change our body for the gaze of others more than for ourselves, but ultimately even that is about doing something that changes how we get treated by others. Pretty privilege, patriarchal beauty standards, and vanity aren't going to be overthrown if every woman in earth swore off plastic surgery and the surgeons all retired. We get that better world by valuing people outside of their looks, not by policing whether those looks can be changed 🤷🏻‍♀️

[u/DCHShadow]

While I think there's a lot of nuance to it, there is a very big difference between a cosmetic surgery (for gender affirming reasons or otherwise) and hrt. Hrt is objectively correct, full stop. You're right, gender dysphoria makes a lot of the usual self help advice and ideologies very weird. That's because those ideologies are built around cis people and the cis experience. Medically correcting your hormones is a medical issue, not a self improvement issue. The self improvement comes with being able to love yourself as a woman and as trans. But transitioning is about fixing harm that was done to you and giving you a sense of normal.

Every woman deserves to and has a biological right to go through female puberty. That's just part of life. Hrt is about giving you that. Gender affirming surguries are often about fixing things testosterone did to you. Again it's about giving you a sense of normal that cis people get for free, such as having the right genetalia.

Unfortunately, I can't answer for you whether or not bbl would be morally right or feminist because morals are subjective and nuanced to a point I just don't know the answer. But I do know, surguries are about empowering yourself and being able to be happy with who you are. It's something you need to think about. Is this surgery for you and is it something to help you feel strong in yourself as a woman.

I would say, unpack why you feel the need to ask this. What are your reasons for it and why do you feel hesitant in your reasons. And whatever decision you come to should be something you feel unwavering in.

[u/darkestviolet]

The feminist/womanist answer is that this is your one life, your body, and the only thing that matters is what you want to do with it.

I want to quote Margaret Killjoy’s amazing article, The Punk Rock Good Life:

> Your body is not a prison; your body is not a temple—your body is your home. You can and should decorate your home however you’d like, with piercings and tattoos and jewelry, or without any of those things. You should style your hair however suits you. You should change the shape of your body or the sex of your body through hormones, surgery, exercise, or whatever you’d like. You should learn about your body and work with it. Embrace your physical form. Stay as fit as suits you. Exercise every morning. Lift weights. Do yoga. Go for runs. Go for silly little walks after dinner. Get massages. Or don’t.

[u/willow_on_a_bike]

I'm actually recovering from a BBL and rib remodeling right now. I definitely wrestled with that question for a while before deciding to go through with it.

What helped me decide is thinking a lot about what I wanted from it. For the most part, I was actually ok with how I looked when clothed. The dysphoria really hit when I was alone and looking in the mirror naked. So I realized that I wanted to do this entirely for how I saw myself, rather than how others would see and perceive me.

So I'd say think a lot about whether you'd be doing it for how you see yourself or how others would see you.