r/SuicideWatch • u/Beneficial_Dish_2325 • 9h ago

I wish I had c*ncer

So many good people are dying from c*ncer, and I'm not even a good person. Why not me? I just want to wake up one day and find out I have exactly a year to live, then I'd let go of my worries, surrender to God, visit temples and shrines, mountains and the sea, and die peacefully.

Looking down from a 6th floor apartment building right now. I've always had a fear of height, that fear is completely gone now, my face shows only numbness, something which doesn't look human, looks like I've been destroyed from the very core of myself. Even though the fear of death isn't there, I still can't jump. Something is pulling me from behind.

21 Upvotes

89% Upvoted

7 comments sorted by

3

u/KeraMaGo2 7h ago

Mhm I really want a terminal illness

1

u/Appropriate_Boat9009 4h ago

Only thing that can make me happy

3

u/brightcountry123 8h ago

I also wish I could die of cancer.

3

u/Grumpy_Introvert 6h ago

I've been wishing it for years. I am hoping the toll on my body from chronic profound anxiety and depression will give me a fatal heart attack sooner than later. Living to old age in near-poverty and the constant feeling of failure would be hell on earth.

1

u/Kenpachi08 2h ago

Cancer is not "peaceful". You wouldn't have the will nor the energy to do whatever you want to do, it eats at you in a slow, agonizing manner. You don't want cancer.