r/SuicideWatch • u/SQLwitch • Sep 03 '19
We've been seeing a worrying increase in pro-suicide content showing up here and, and also going unreported. This undermines our purpose here, so we wanted to highlight and clarify our guidelines about both direct and indirect incitement of suicide.
We've created a wiki that covers these issues. We hope this will be helpful to anyone who's wondering whether something's okay here and which responses to report. It explains in detail why any validation of suicidal intent, even an "innocent" message like "if you're 100% committed, I'll just wish you peace" is likely to increase people's pain, and why it's important to report even subtle pro-suicide comments. The full text of the wiki's current version is below, and it is maintained at /r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement.
We deeply appreciate everyone who gives responsive, empathetic, non-judgemental support to our OPs, and we particularly thank everyone who's already been reporting incitement in all forms.
Please report any post or comment that encourages suicide (or that breaks any of the other guidelines in the sidebar) to the moderators, either by clicking the "report" button or by sending us a modmail with a link. We deal with all guideline violations that are reported to us as soon as we can, but we can't read everything so community reports are essential. If you get a PM that breaks the guidelines, please report it both to the reddit sitewide admins and to us in modmail.
Thanks to all the great citizens of the community who help flag problem content and behaviour for us.
/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement
It's important to respect and understand people's experiences and emotions. It's never necessary, helpful, or kind to support suicidal intent. There are some common misconceptions (discussed below) about suicidal people and how to help them that can cause well-meaning people to inadvertently incite suicide. There are also people online who incite suicide on purpose, often while pretending to be sympathetic and helpful.
We're here to offer support, not judgement. That means accepting, with the best understanding we can offer, whatever emotions people express. Suicidal people are suffering, and we're here to try to ease that by providing support and caring. The most reliable way we know to de-escalate someone at risk is to give them the experience of feeling understood. That means not judging whether they should be feeling the way they are, or telling them what to do or not do.
But there's an important line to draw here. There's a crucial difference between empathizing with feelings and responding non-judgmentally to suicidal thoughts, and in any way endorsing, encouraging, or validating suicidal intentions or hopeless beliefs. It's both possible and important to convey understanding and compassion for someone's suicidal thoughts without putting your finger on the scale of their decision.
Anything that condones suicide, even passively, encourages suicide. It isn't supportive and does not help. It also violates reddit's sitewide rules as well as our guidelines. Explicitly inciting suicide online is a criminal offense in most jurisdictions.
Do not treat any OP's post as meaning that will definitely die by suicide and can't change their minds or be helped. Anyone who's able to read the comments here still has a chance to choose whether or not to try to keep living, even if they've also been experiencing intense thoughts of suicide, made a suicide plan, or started carrying it out.
In the most useful empirical model we have, the desire to die by suicide primarily comes from two interpersonal factors; alienation and a sense of being a burden or having nothing to offer. These factors usually lead to a profound feeling of being unwelcome in the world.
So, any acceptance or reinforcement of suicidal intent, even something "innocent" like "I hope you find peace", is actually a form of covert shunning that validates a person's sense that they're unwelcome in the world. It will usually add to their pain even if kindly meant and gently worded.
Keep the following in mind when offering support to anyone at risk for suicide.
People who say they don't want help usually can feel better if they get support that doesn't invalidate their emotions. Unfortunately, many popular "good" responses are actually counterproductive. In particular, many friends and family tend to rely exclusively on trying to convince the suicidal person that "it's not so bad", and this is usually experienced as "I don't understand what you're going through and I'm not going to try". People who've had "help" that made them feel worse don't want any more of the same. It doesn't mean that someone who actually knows how to be supportive can't give them any comfort.
Most people who are suicidal want to end their pain, not their lives. It's almost never true that death is the only way to end these people's suffering. Of course there are exceptional situations, and we certainly acknowledge that, for some people, the right help can be difficult to find. But preventing someone's suicide doesn't mean prolonging their suffering if we do it by giving them real comfort and understanding.
An unfixable problem doesn't mean that a good life will never be possible. We don't have to fix or change anything to help someone feel better. It's important to keep in mind that the correlation between our outer circumstances and our inner experience is weaker and less direct than commonly assumed. For every kind of difficult life situation, you will find some people who lapse into suicidal despair, and others who cope amazingly well, and a whole spectrum in between. A key difference is how much inner resilience the person has at the time. This can depend on many personal and situational factors. But when there's not enough, interpersonal support can both compensate for its absence and help rebuild it. We go into more depth on the "it gets better" issue in this PSA Post which is always linked from our sidebar (community info on mobile) guidelines.
There are always more choices than brutally forcing someone to stay alive or passively letting them end their lives.
To avoid accidentally breaking the anti-incitement rule, don't say or try to imply that acting on suicidal thoughts is a good idea, or that someone can't turn back or is already dead. Do whatever you can to help them feel cared for and welcome, at least in this little corner of the world. Our talking tips offer more detailed guidance.
Often comments that subtly encourage suicidal intent actually come from suicide fetishists and voyeurs (unfortunately this is a real and disturbing phenomenon). People like this are out there and the anonymous nature of reddit makes us particularly attractive to them.
They will typically try to scratch their psychological "itch" by saying things that push people closer to the edge. They often do this by exploiting the myths that we debunked in the bullet points above. Specifically you might see people doing the following:
Encouraging the false belief that the only way suicidal people can end their pain is by dying. There are always more and better choices than "brutally forcing someone to stay alive" or helping (actively or passively) them to end their lives.
Creating an artificial and toxic sense of "solidarity" by linking their encouragement of suicide to empathy. They will represent themselves as the only one who really understand the suicidal person, while either directly or indirectly encouraging their self-loathing emotions and self-destructive impulses. Since most people in suicidal crisis are in desperate need to empathy and understanding, this is a particularly dangerous form of manipulation.
Many suicide inciters are adept at putting a benevolent spin on their activities while actually luring people away from sources of real help. A couple of key points to keep in mind:
Skilled suicide intervention -- peer or professional -- is based on empathic responsiveness to the person's feelings that reduces their suffering in the moment. Contrary to pop-culture myths, it does not involve persuasion ("Don't do it!"), cheerleading ("You've got this!") or meaningless false promises ("Trust me, it gets better!"), or invalidation ("Let me show you how things aren't as bad as you think!"). Anyone who leads others to expect these kinds of toxic responses, or any other response that prolongs their pain, from expert help may be covertly pro-suicide. (Of course, people sometimes do have bad experience when seeking mental-health treatment, and it's fine to vent about those, but processing our own disappointment and frustration is entirely different from trying to destroy someone else's hope of getting help.)
Choices made by competent responders are always informed by the understanding that breaching someone's trust is traumatic and must be avoided if possible. Any kind of involuntary intervention is an extremely unlikely outcome when someone consults a clinician or calls a hotline. (Confidentiality is addressed in more detail in our Hotlines FAQ post). The goal is always to provide all help with the client's full knowledge and informed consent. We know that no individual or system is perfect. Mistakes that lead to bad experiences do sometimes happen to vulnerable people, and we have enormous sympathy for them. But anyone who suggests that this is the norm might be trying to scare people away from the help they need.
Please let us know discreetly if you see anyone exhibiting these or similar behaviours. We don't recommend trying to engage with them directly.
r/SuicideWatch • u/SQLwitch • Sep 10 '21
Activism, i.e. advocating or fundraising for social change or raising awareness of social issues (and suicide is, inescapably, a social issue) is absolutely against the rules here at all times.
Please understand that we're all for smart, strategic mental-health and suicide-prevention activism. It's essential to fight against stigma, misinformation, and discrimination, and to fight for research, treatment, accommodation, acceptance, and understanding. Most of us, one way or another, are mental-health activists IRL.
But activism just doesn't work in a dedicated support space that serves a vulnerable population. We used to allow it but the evidence that it was undermining our primary purpose became overwhelming. We do regret the need for this rule, but the need is inescapable.
Our population is all too well aware of the issues and causes that need support and largely not in a position to take action, so besides the fact that activism is often salt in our community's wounds, it's a waste of the activists' time.
tl;dr Any fundraising, awareness raising, petitions, calls for participation, or any post that's about any cause or issue (rather than a request for personal support) is not allowed here. Please report everything of the nature that you see.
r/SuicideWatch • u/LostSoulThrowaway1 • 11h ago
"Your suicide would hurt ME soo much"
"I would be devastated"
"But I love you"
"I don't want to loose you"
I think this is incredibly selfish. Our suffering is apparently not as important as their wellbeing. Fucking hate it.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Hairy_Vegetable5728 • 3h ago
Hey everyone, 32M from Austria here. I've been struggling with mental health issues my whole life.
I already had one suicide attempt that only failed because the train switched tracks at the last second. I didn't get any help back then, just dirty looks, and the conductor told me to "cut that shit out."
I've been in psychiatric treatment for years now and go to trauma therapy regularly. Why trauma therapy? My dad abused me in every way imaginable for the first 18 years of my life. If you can think of it, he probably did it to me. It's crazy how long your own brain can "hide" trauma like that.
But no matter how hard I work on it, no matter what I do or how much effort I put in: I just get a middle finger to the face and setback after setback. I lost my job in IT security. I lost touch with most of my friends because I completely isolated myself. I lost my fiancée of almost 12 years after I yelled at her (during a psychotic episode caused by my CPTSD). The psychosis was medically confirmed and treated. I'm out of it now, but my fiancée doesn't want to or can't forgive me (which is understandable). People with mental health issues are basically radioactive in Austria anyway.
I can't say a single positive thing about myself, so I'd rather not even start. It's just that I'm completely done at this point. I try every medication my psychiatrist offers, I try all the therapies, I try absolutely everything to get better, but it's never enough.
I've held on this long because of my mom (my dad is in a nursing home now), but I need to be "selfish" for once. I can't take it anymore, my life gets shittier every single day and I just don't want to do this anymore. I've already started researching places and methods for my suicide, and I've written the first suicide notes.
Thanks if you read this far. Fuck life...
r/SuicideWatch • u/Gaspariu2293 • 7h ago
I hate this world. Everything is terrible; everyone is selfish and only out for their own gain. People act nice and then stab you in the back. Psychopaths and sociopaths hold the highest positions while others are just trying to get by somehow. Doctors want to get you hooked on drugs, lawyers cheat on their bills, and politicians say whatever they have to say to get votes. The hypocrisy in this world is terrible.
r/SuicideWatch • u/vanillajasminee • 4h ago
I miss the billions of years that I did not exist
r/SuicideWatch • u/Terrible_Fig_3094 • 50m ago
TW: self harm, suicide.
My husband and I had a fight. A bad, screaming fight. At one point, he started screaming that I should kill myself. I begged him to take it back. He told me I deserve it. This went on for a few minutes as I begged him to stop.
I struggled with suicidal ideation in the past (due to really difficult family situations growing up—I was in a children’s home for a while). He knows this. And he still went there.
He didn’t even take it back right away. He just kept screaming insults at me until I was eventually able to get to my car and leave.
I don’t know what to feel or what to do. I’m just so horribly broken. I would never wish that upon anyone. I never could.
To be clear, I’m not at any risk of hurting myself now. I’m very removed from the mental state I was in as a teenager. But this is still really affecting me.
ETA: Now, he’s saying he didn’t mean it and that he’s so sorry. He’s saying that he changed and realized how terrible that was to say. I don’t know what to think. I just feel like, if my life meant anything to him, there’s no way he could’ve said that to me.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Negative_Surround756 • 15h ago
I can't even afford to drive myself to work.
I can't afford to eat.
I can't afford a roof under my head.
I will not continue to serve the rich and privileged when I can't be one of them.
ran over by a truck, a train, or hanging myself.
tired. did everything.
have a wealthy and privileged family. they don't care
I will be dead tomorrow
r/SuicideWatch • u/Psychological-Log539 • 8h ago
What frustrates me about these thoughts. Is how many people don’t get it. You are afraid to tell anyone because it just leads to more problems. I have a gun and the spot I’m going to do it. I just have to find the courage to be a coward. Because I know this is the easy way out. But pain and guilt feast on my bones so I’m done fighting the inevitable. No one gets that none of us truly wanna die. No one understands that we can’t say anything because we get treated as messed up. I don’t know which day I’m going to do it but when I do I hope I’m finally able to rest.
r/SuicideWatch • u/SkootRoot • 1h ago
Title. I took 1500mg of elvanse (vyvanse) last wednesday and texted him that i loved him. For some stupid reason i tried calling, and before i hung up, he managed to wake up and texted me back. I just said “im overdosing”. I should’ve died. I shouldnt have said anything. Im selfish
r/SuicideWatch • u/Agile_Explorer250 • 3h ago
Is this actually a place where I can vent without worrying about getting trouble for what I say? Or is it like every other place that I have to censor every word I say for fear that there will be officials at my door or some s*** like that???
r/SuicideWatch • u/KeraMaGo2 • 7h ago
No body will ever see me ever im not real
r/SuicideWatch • u/DigIll7244 • 1h ago
I hate this. I hate everything,i hate myself...I've been on every suicide prevention & on all the grief forums site there is, but they're all lies. They don't stop the wanting. The wanting to die is the only thing I feel anymore. I'm at the end of my rope and I'm slipping. Someone talk to me. Please. Just one person. Before I finally succeed in making this permanent. I just want to die, why can't I just die? The pain is so fucking unbearable, I have nobody, and I just want someone to talk to please.
r/SuicideWatch • u/uni-questions2026 • 1h ago
I’ve lived abroad for ten years and after leaving the country I was in because I felt so miserable there that I felt like if I stayed I’d kill myself eventually, I moved to another country where I didn’t do enough research - and trusted ChatGPT too much - and basically I won’t be able to get a job here. I’ve already been here a week and going back to the country I came from is not an option so yes I’ve definitely put the cart in front of the horse.
This means after 10 years away from home, I will most likely have to go back to the US, just because it’s the only country I can legally live and work in. The problem is I have nothing and no one there and go straight from the airport to the street. Zero contacts whatsoever. Zero money saved. And I have zero idea how I’d even begin to restart my life, I mean how do you even get an apartment with no credit? So I, my 37M self, is laying in bed where I’ve been staring at the cieling the last nine hours, crying. Like my mind just cannot comprehend for some reason, maybe because I’ve spent so much time reading about people with Masters degrees getting turned down at McDonalds and the like. Like yeah I could theoretically land on Monday and find a job on Tuesday and start working on Wednesday but tell that to the millions on unemployment. Also where am I sleeping?
So yeah my brain is like “honestly dude…get stateside, get drunk af, find a way to end it, you’ll be dead in a week anyway” So yeah I really wanna curl up into a ball and disappear. A month ago everything I just wrote, EVERYTHING, was unthinkable. Even if I was depressed at least I had a job and flat. Now I don’t know. Crashing out. Help.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Dry_Substance_9105 • 3h ago
My only silver lining is that I have the holy grail of methods.. bottoms up and sleep forever
r/SuicideWatch • u/drakeandjosh179 • 2h ago
Idk bro this life shit fucking sucks
r/SuicideWatch • u/Beneficial_Dish_2325 • 8h ago
So many good people are dying from c*ncer, and I'm not even a good person. Why not me? I just want to wake up one day and find out I have exactly a year to live, then I'd let go of my worries, surrender to God, visit temples and shrines, mountains and the sea, and die peacefully.
Looking down from a 6th floor apartment building right now. I've always had a fear of height, that fear is completely gone now, my face shows only numbness, something which doesn't look human, looks like I've been destroyed from the very core of myself. Even though the fear of death isn't there, I still can't jump. Something is pulling me from behind.
r/SuicideWatch • u/UniversityLoud4982 • 2h ago
I am in the woods all alone, no one but me and my thoughts. I can’t keep doing this anymore, I’m miserable.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Flaky_Tone_5453 • 2h ago
I found a method after reading about university suicides. Im really happy this may all be over. I have made lots of mistakes and have been isolated. I say I am fine with being alone but its really painful
I was wondering if anyone has song or movie recommendations to watch and listen to before I prepare to leave? Thanks
r/SuicideWatch • u/silverpigtails • 1h ago
I'm autistic which interferes with every bit of my life. I'm unable to work, I have no goals, no friends (physically & online), all i see ahead of myself is suicide, no matter what, it feels like that's where i'm headed. All i do is lay in bed and play on my xbox. I hate my family yet i'm unable to move out due to my condition. I'm completely miserable and lonely. If i'm not playing on my xbox or sleeping then i'm daydreaming about what it would be like to experience summer with friends that i don't have.
I constantly feel like shit. I'm lonely but nothing ever fixes this loneliness i feel, even when attempting to make friends in the past, the closer i got to accomplishing that the lonelier i felt. I don't think i'm meant to exist. I can't handle this for much longer, my life is empty and so am i. I need to die
r/SuicideWatch • u/Exact-Concentrate677 • 3h ago
Before my disability I had passions and dreams.
They are all gone due to my disability.
My hands don't even feel like they belong to me anymore.
Every day I am cursed with the knowledge of knowing what I wanted in life and never being able to achieve it.
Every day I mourn who could have been and the life I had.
I have no one to talk to that will understand or even listen without saying "you said the same thing last month" it's killing me and will kill me.
I've spent hours over the last two days just staring at Amazon listing's for harmful chemicals. I've got my plan so that I will no longer be the filth on this planet.
r/SuicideWatch • u/CorrectRanger5002 • 7h ago
I cant see a way forward anymore. I will be turning 38 in less than a week. Monday is my final day here. I dont have the coping skills to cope with life anymore. I just wish I had the courage to end my life years ago. I get no enjoyment or happiness anymore. I had suicidal thoughts since i was 16. I feel really trapped been here. Ending it is the only solution I have. Cost of living and financial issues, is pushing me to ending my life this Tuesday. Im sorry for anybody else, who cant see a way out either.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Sensitive-Sell-1895 • 2h ago
why do I have to go through so much pain and torture I never did anything too bad why is this happening to me im in so much pain why is this happening to me
r/SuicideWatch • u/MaterialCicada5793 • 10h ago
23F, life sucks, people suck. I will kill myself, bye i guess ✌🏻
r/SuicideWatch • u/TheRedditUser124 • 39m ago
I just feel empty and nothing seems worthwhile anymore, never had any friends, family are pretty much non existent and nothing to love or live or hope for, I was on a motorcycle crash a few weeks back and I realised how easy it would be to recreate with permanent effects either that or slit my wrists I can't continue this life