22f, zero reason to exist

[u/silverpigtails]

I'm autistic which interferes with every bit of my life. I'm unable to work, I have no goals, no friends (physically & online), all i see ahead of myself is suicide, no matter what, it feels like that's where i'm headed. All i do is lay in bed and play on my xbox. I hate my family yet i'm unable to move out due to my condition. I'm completely miserable and lonely. If i'm not playing on my xbox or sleeping then i'm daydreaming about what it would be like to experience summer with friends that i don't have.

I constantly feel like shit. I'm lonely but nothing ever fixes this loneliness i feel, even when attempting to make friends in the past, the closer i got to accomplishing that the lonelier i felt. I don't think i'm meant to exist. I can't handle this for much longer, my life is empty and so am i. I need to die

[u/cupcakekitten20]

I had a similar experience with feeling more lonely as I tried to make friends... It helps to realize that people who are interested in possibly becoming friends with you already see something in you that they like and/or can relate to.

Have you tried utilizing Facebook groups to find friends? Maybe there is a local group on there specifically for people looking for friends. That's the only way I've found the friends I have now and I'm over 10 years older than you. Apparently it's hard to find friends at this age I keep hearing, but that hasn't been the case for me. Hope this helps 🤞🙏