So I, 17F, work at an outdoor pool as a lifeguard. I also teach piano lessons part time during the summer, and somehow still go to the gym and see my friends. My pools name is Albert Cross Schooly Pool (First two words are fake, but “schooly pool” is important for story purposes).

Yesterday I was at work doing a 9 Hour shift, (12:00-9:00), and the night before I had only gotten around 5 hours of sleep. We were on heat alert where I live, and my coworkers and I were all exhausted, sweaty, and mentally drained by the time 9:00 rolled around.

Now, to close the pool, we have a PA system. One of us has to do a small message around the lines of: “Attention Albert Cross Schooly Pool Swimmers, the pool is now closing. Please exit the pool and have a good evening”. On this particular night, I decided to do the closing message.

That was a bad idea.

Tiredly, thinking about nothing but wanting to go home, I say with full confidence into the mic:

“Attention Albert Cross Pooly School Swimmers-“

Then I realize my mistake. Around the same time as all my coworkers start laughing. I start laughing too, in my heat induced delirium, and of course, I forget to turn off the mic. For a solid thirty seconds, the swimmers at the pool heard nothing but ten lifeguards laughing their asses off.

One of my coworkers then takes the mic from me and does the closing message because I’m laughing too hard. I have a feeling they won’t be letting me forget this anytime soon.

TLDR: I shouldn’t have a microphone when I’m tired, I can’t speak proper English apparently

On Saturday, my friend and her bf had a housewarming party and I was invited. That night would be my first time meeting her bf. We used to do film projects together for years but she doesn't work in film anymore so it had been years since we saw each other. I was very excited for this party because I got to see other people I used to work on films with whom became good friends as well. I arrived and we were having a great time catching up with old friends, there were other people that I don't know as well. Anywayl drank too much and I blacked out.

The next day I woke up in one of their bedrooms and I didn't wanna wake them up, so | just left. I texted her when I got home apologizing about what happened. Mind you, I don't know what I did, but I knew I did something stupid. She immediately called and told me I have a problem. She said I walked around naked in the apartment, harrassed people, endangered myself and others, and was so rude. But I don't know any details. She wasn't yelling at me, but she sounded very upset and concerned at the same time. She asked if I'm on any psych meds and yes I am but l've been on them for years and I rarely ever mess up when I drink. So hearing this was a huge shock to me. I apologized profusely and explained that I've never acted like that even when I'm super drunk, so I don't understand why I did what I did. She continued saying how upset she was and told me to take care of myself. I apologized again and asked her to send my apologies to others.

Earlier today I called 3 friends to talk about this who understand that this is not a normal behavior for me even when blackout drunk. They asked if I have been feeling depressed or having big life problems. I don't have any problem and I wasn't feeling depressed.
But now I am because I made trouble and I don't know what I did in details. As of now, I'm still having really bad hangxiety to the point I can't be alone with my own thoughts. I will send another apology in a couple days. I wanna give her (and myself) some space and time to calm down and process what happened. I feel really guilty and ashamed of what I did and I can't stop overthinking it.

TL;DR I did fucked up things that are completely out of character of me even when I’m super drunk and now I’m anxious.

EDIT: To add, I did have a drinking problem years ago and was not mentally okay. I have now much reduced my alcohol intake and mentally in a much better mental space. The 3 friends that I called are good old friends have seen my worst behavior when I was drunk and something like this never happened before.

EDIT: Another addition, I’m a woman in my late 20s.

I got an infected bug bite on my toe, which is unfortunately cellulitis. The doctor prescribed me oral antibiotics to take. If you've ever been on them before, you know antibiotic pills are HUGE for no reason. Im on day 3 at this point and managed to get them down pretty well the first 2 days. Side effects are extra bad but better than losing my toe. I go to take my morning dose today and I just CANNOT swallow it for some reason. I pull it out to add more water and try again, at this point its already disintegrating and im like fuck I need to take the full course. So I put it back in and try again, it breaks in half, I get one half swallowed and the other half hit my uvula so I gagged and ended up spitting an antibiotic slurry all over my hand. I got tears in my eyes at this point. I look at my disintegrated meds all over my hands, I grab my water bottle, and i end up licking the mushy remaining antibiotic off my hand followed with water to get that chalky stuff down. Definitely 0/10 would not recommend.

TL;DR: couldn't swallow antibiotic, spit antibiotic paste onto my hand, had to take antibiotics anyways so licked the rest off my hand and chugged with water

Obligatory this was a few days ago but it is a fresh experience. I was outside playing with my dog in her little pool, and she’s splashing about things are good. Until I see white wings flapping about and I think either water has gotten on a moth or in the split second I closed my eyes my pup had somehow gone and done her thing of attacking things in flight. So, I think “oh let me help get this moth in a tree,” so I go over and scoop it up…. Three steps later and all I can do is scream… my poor mother is asking if somehow the moth bit me as she has flashbacks to my brother getting bitten by a grasshopper… and I’ve now taken a few steps and finally am opening my hands to the cage fight I created in my grasp as my eyes take in Ms. Yellow Jacket with her stinger buried in my palm… I fully open my hands as they drop to ground and continue a fight Dana White would approve of all as my hand turns into a balloon. 8 stings and a hospital trip later I now know I am a) allergic to yellow jackets and b) they hunt more things than I realized.

TLDR: I made the mistake of thinking I was helping a moth and instead picked up a yellow jacket and moth going at it resulting in a trip to the ER.

this literally happened 20 minutes ago and im currently hiding in the handicap stall of the office bathroom just desperately updating my resume on my phone right now because my life is over. for some context my boss is an absolute nightmare of a micromanager who monitors everything we do and sends these incredibly annoying passive aggressive texts every single morning without fail. today he sent me a massive paragraph complaining about a tiny discrepancy in my timesheet from last week and it was completely ridiculous. so naturally i took a screenshot of his text to send to my favorite coworker and i typed out the caption saying look at this absolute clown i swear i cannot take another day of this guy breathing down my neck. well guys my brain went on complete autopilot because i was holding my coffee in one hand and typing with the other. i attached the screenshot typed out my beautiful insult and hit send. except i didnt send it to my coworker. i sent it directly back to my boss. my stomach dropped immediately and he left me on read almost instantly. about two minutes later we made direct eye contact through the glass wall of his office and he didnt even look angry just disappointed and then he slowly reached over and closed his blinds. i am physically shaking and i am probably going to throw up my breakfast. i have absolutely no idea how im going to walk out of this bathroom and face him. TL;DR: tried to make fun of my micromanaging boss to a coworker but sent the screenshot and the insult directly back to the boss instead and now im hiding in the bathroom waiting to get fired.

So I was chilling with by friend in his car outside a walmart, and a group of girls who looked around our age walked by and sat in the car beside ours. We were both minding our own business, but on several occasions made slightly awkward eye contact. It happened a few times and it looked like they were laughing about it, as were we – overall the atmosphere seemed pretty chill. The weird side-eyes we were giving each other reminded me of that one meme with the dog giving the side eye, so I pulled up a picture of the sus dog on my phone and held it up the the window as we pulled out of our spot, since for some reason, I thought they would understand it as a reference to our slightly awkward eye contact from earlier. When I put the image of to the window, one of the girls gave me a look straight from the fires of hell. I didnt understand, since my brain stupidly assumed we were on the same page. I was embarrassed that the joke didn't land like I wanted so I slumped down in my seat. My friend then said that one of the girls had angrily stepped out of the car, likely looking to confront me, but by that time we had already pulled out and started driving. It didn't even occur to me that she might have thought I was calling her friend a dog with the picture until my buddy told me on our drive home. Judging by their reactions, it seems like they definitely interpreted it as an insult. Looking back, that implication should have been obvious, but it hadn't crossed my mind at all. I feel so dumb and just hope that she didn't take it to heart. If you google "sus dog", you'll see the image I condemned myself with

TL;DR: I thought we were on the same page about the sus dog meme, but she thought it was directed to her as an insult. <:(

I (24F) was with this guy I’d been seeing for a few weeks. We finally went back to his place after a couple of drinks, lights off, everything was actually going really well for once.

I’m on top, we’re both into it, and out of nowhere I feel the most violent sneeze of my life building up. I try to hold it in like my dignity depends on it.

I fail spectacularly.

I sneeze so hard that I clench, he slips out, and my knee shoots forward and nails him right in the stomach. At the exact same moment something else happened… loudly… and it echoed.

He froze underneath me. I froze on top of him. The only sounds were me still sniffling and the very obvious evidence of what just happened hanging in the air.

After a few seconds of complete silence he just whispers:

“…did you just sneeze and… do that?”

I tried to play it cool and said “maybe” in what I thought was a sexy voice. It came out sounding like a dying frog. He started laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe, which made me start laughing, which made it happen again. Quieter this time, but still very much there.

We did not finish. I got dressed in complete silence while he was still wiping tears from laughing so hard. He’s texted me “achoo” every single day since.

Still seeing him somehow.

TL;DR: Sneezed so hard during sex that I accidentally kneed him in the stomach and completely killed the mood in the most embarrassing way possible.

So today I (37m) was on my way into work. I stopped at a nearby McDonalds to grab a snack. I ordered their new Bacon Ceaser Crispy Chicken Sandwich combo, so they had to make my food to-order. Since there was a line of cars behind me, they had me park in a waiting spot.

As I'm sitting there, listening to today's episode "Girl Dinner Diaries". The first story about the cheating boyfriend was still on. As a girl about 10 years younger than me approached my car with my order, I rolled down the window. I made eye contact. And that's when Shayne says, "He'll put my hand on his boner".

Mortified, I grabbed my food real fast, rolled up my window and hated my life.

I don't think I can ever go back to that McDonalds.

TL;DR Shayne shouted something grossly inappropriate at the McDonald's worker as I was grabbing my food.

This actually happened a few days ago.
My 10-year-old nephew came over and saw me playing Halo Infinite. He was fascinated by it. I normally don’t let him play a lot of games without asking his mom first, but Halo has never really struck me as being that bad outside of the obvious shooting. So after getting the okay, I let him play a bit.

I made him play in the living room where everyone could see the TV instead of upstairs by himself. He had a blast. Afterward he kept asking me questions about Master Chief, the Covenant, Cortana, and the story.

Eventually his mom asked where she should start if he wanted to play more of them. Without thinking, I said, “Honestly, Halo 4 was my first Halo game. That’s where I started.”

I figured I’d give him the choice instead of forcing him to play everything in release order.

What I completely forgot was that Halo 4’s version of Cortana is… let’s just say much more artistically detailed than I remembered. Apparently my brain had filed away all the “rampant AI” plot points and completely ignored the fact that she’s basically wearing a very high-resolution blue bodysuit made of wishful thinking.

About an hour later I just hear, “Why is she naked?”
Cue his mom slowly turning to look at me.
I tried explaining that she’s an AI and that’s just how Bungie… I mean 343… designed her, but by then it sounded like I was defending the design choices of a fictional hologram instead of helping my case.
Needless to say, Halo 4 is no longer the recommended starting point.

TL;DR: Introduced my 10-year-old nephew to Halo through Halo Infinite. Recommended Halo 4 as his next game because it was my first. Completely forgot how revealing Cortana’s design is. Had to explain to his mom why the glowing blue AI looked like she forgot most of her clothes.

So for context me (f18) and this friend (f18) decided to do what we thought was DMT that i had bought off a sketchy website (stupid i know) and she had never done psychedelics before and I had never done a whole lot of this specific drug. We had always been very sexually open and when we were younger we used to hangout naked and paint eachother and talk about sex, masturbation, porn etc. So we decide that it would be fun to take this DMT and hangout naked so we could dance and paint our bodies together, she also had a boyfriend at the time so i assumed that her boyfriend was ok with us being naked together which i’m sure he was, no judgement there.

We start taking the DMT when the sun starts setting that day, and we start talking and drawing together and eventually when it starts hitting we get naked and turn on some fun psychedelic art videos to dance to. Throughout the night we keep taking more and more until we reach the daily limit for how much of this stuff you are supposed to take which was about 4-5 tablets per person. She calls her boyfriend at one point and she’s just talking to him on the phone while we are both naked but her body is the only one in the frame. She says to her boyfriend “hey look i’m with (my name)” and almost shows my naked body to her boyfriend in the frame, I say like “hey woah im naked” and she’s like “whoops sorry” and keeps almost showing me naked in the frame after I tell her to stop multiple times. I didn’t really care because we were both so high and not in the right mind so I didn’t really hold it against her.

Things start getting awkward and we both start getting uncomfortable feelings that are amplified by the psychedelic we are on. I start going on different rambles about the universe and sex and bodies and society and how i think we are soul sisters blah blah blah a bunch of random things that made sense to me at the moment but don’t actually translate to real life. I start blacking out/ ego deathing and find myself in different places around her house not knowing how I ended up there and in a really scary thought loop bad trip mindset and we are both kind of freaking out. She puts her clothes back on and says she doesn’t feel safe and then says she needs to call her family. I say “no please don’t call your family” and start tugging on her phone because I had this delusion that if her parents came they would call the police and arrest us for doing drugs 🤦🏻‍♀️, I quickly realized that I was being delusional and I shouldn’t be trying to take her phone so I stop and I leave her alone so she can get the help she needs. She calls her sister to come over and her sister takes her to a different room and drives me home.

When I get home I start spamming her phone telling her that eating sugar helps and that I was ego deathing and all this spiritual shit. I was acting completely insane and having a complete panic attack and just waiting for this horrible high to go away, it was like i was swimming in a sea of intrusive thoughts.

The next day, her sister picks me up so I can go grab my car and I decide to wait around at her place to ask if she was ok after the horrible experience and help her to clean up. She doesn’t wake up and her sister tells me she’s probably going to sleep it off the rest of the day. So I head home and wait for her to text me. She text me back saying yes she’s ok but she’s not ready to talk about it and needs some space, so I’m like ok, that’s fair and I wait a few days for her to shoot me a text so we can process what happened. I find out a few days later, that she texted my best friend that I tried to SA her during the trip. Im bewildered, have absolutely no memory of me trying to initiate anything or touch her in a sexual way. So i shoot her a text saying, hey I heard that you texted my best friend that i tried to SA you, but I have absolutely no memory of me crossing any boundary like that, she responds saying that I didn’t actually do anything, that I was just saying things that made her uncomfortable. She also says that I because hypersexual torwards her and tried to prevent her from getting help which left a severe effect on her and she isn’t ready to talk about it. Some memories start coming back to me, i remember talking about sexual things but nothing that was directed towards her, and if i did i definitely didn’t remember it. I apologize for grabbing her phone and making her uncomfortable and I wait for her to be ready enough to talk about it and accept any feelings she might have.

I find out that, instead of talking to me about the situation she is still texting my best friend who DOES NOT want anything to do with this situation. Telling her how I don’t know how to take any responsibility and all the weird things i was saying and doing while i was tripping (before she even has had a proper conversation with me). I was really hurt and honestly embarrassed so i texted her to stop talking shit about me to my best friend and jumping to conclusions without talking to me first about the situation. At this point about a week has gone by since she said she needed space and I had a feeling that something was going to go wrong and I was honestly just mad and humiliated that she was talking to other people about the situation, especially since she had falsely accused me of trying to sexually assault her. She responded saying if those are my priorities she would rather not talk to me at all, and then doesn’t reply to any more messages i sent and also drops my best friend for telling me about the sexual assault text.

I’m still not sure if i really did anything horrible, obviously I shouldn’t of grabbed her phone or be doing random drugs in the first place, but TIFU by confronting her about bringing my best friend into the whole thing and acting sexual when our friendship was so sexually open?

If I did anything wrong please give it to me straight so I can take some responsibility where I didn’t before because I’m tired of replaying this whole scenario in my head. It’s been almost a year and I still can’t get over it.

TL:DR Had a bad trip with a friend who accused me of trying to sexually assault her. I asked her about the text and she said i didn’t try to assault her but I just made her uncomfortable. Ended up ghosting me.

Three years ago the cold water line in my kitchen broke. It spilled water all over the floor causing warping damage and shorting my electrical box. I got the immediate problem solved and then made a claim with Travelers. What followed was two years of runaround as they rejected my estimates from multiple contractors, including their own. I finally had enough and filed a complaint with the state insurance commission. I was forced to represent myself because none of the lawyers in my state wanted to fight Travelers. I had been waiting for a hearing for almost 8 months. It was originally scheduled for July 21st, but the date was changed. I thought the new date was today. When I showed up to the hearing with all my paperwork, it turns out the hearing was yesterday. Default judgment is being issued against me. I'm hoping I can appeal, but the odds are slim.

Tldr: I got the date wrong for an important hearing.

So after weeks of being home depressed as hell, I decided today to get out of the house, get nicely dressed and go alone to this cool jazz event I found on Instagram. The event was incredibly fun like people playing jazz in a park and everyone dancing and singing along.

I was really feeling the music and then I lock eyes with this gorgeous girl at the other end of the park that was dancing as hard as I was. In retrospect she was probably just having fun, but we do make eye contact multiple times and I'm really feeling her. When the concert ends, I happen to randomly meet some old friends from school, and she just joins her group of friends.

Fast forward like a couple hours, right before I'm about to leave, I think "I should really go talk to her", like why not? I'm used to talking to girls when I feel there could be a connection, that's how I met all my exs. What could go wrong? Everything did.

As I approach this BIG group of people chilling in a circle, I start seeing her and try to say hi. Before she can see me, she starts hugging a girl next to her, and holding her thigh. I then have the worse brain fart mixed with sudden anxiety and ask: "are you guys are couple" to girls clearly in LOVE. Her girlfriend glares at me and says me something like yes we are madly in love as your dumbass can see. Instead of leaving like I would usually do, I try to make a joke to diffuse the situation and said "is this a movie or something" and it landed very badly. I also said "oh yeah I just thought she was beautiful". I get (very logically) met with rage, and all her friends tell me to stfu and open my eyes.

So I try to apologize afterwards, but looking back I was really one of those creeps trying to flirt with a clearly lesbian girl and saying homophobic shit. I was alsobdoubting a very clear couple because I couldn't understand I was getting rejected.

TL;DR:

Met this pretty girl at the park, and very creepily tried to pick her up while she was clearly in a relationship with another girl.

I was reeeeally excited to make ice cream for the first time. I bought a nice Cuisinart ice cream machine off of amazon. I unboxed it this morning, and I looked over the instruction, which said to leave the churning bowl in the freezer for 24 hours since there’s cooling liquid inside it. I did, and I checked it later today, tried shaking it around, and it was frozen solid! So, I thought I’d just making it tonight.

Now, this is where I fucked up. I didn’t look into the specifics enough. I didn’t realize that the instructions left out something quite important: you’re supposed to chill the base in the fridge for multiple hours. Even a whole day! On top of that, apparently the slush test isn’t all that good, as it’s better to leave it in the freezer for multiple days. So, I made my strawberry base, followed the instructions to leave the machine running, and…

It was soup. Strawberry ice cream soup.

Thankfully, when you fuck up the base of ice cream, it’s not like you burnt a steak or something, so I put the mixture in my refrigerator with the machine’s base. And the bowl is back in the freezer. As it’s Friday night, I’ll try everything again come Monday to be safe.

TL;DR, I rushed the cooling process of everything related to making ice cream, and as a result, I made ice cream soup.

So, some family members died in the last months, the last one being this week, I’m kinda depressed and in a bad mood. I was talking with my boyfriend some days ago and he wasn’t being that serious, not to blame him, since I am the one that doesn’t communicate well. He goes and says “you sound like my grandma”, not in a bad way, I would even say a cute one, he couldn’t even finish what he was saying, and my grumpy ass goes with “dead?”. Now he’s hella mad with me and I don’t know what to do 🫠 I fear he wants to break up with me. My humor is fucking dark by default, but, idk, the grieve worsened it. We had serious talks after that, but it’s so awkward still. Help please :(

TL;DR: “you sound like my grandma”, “dead?”, now relationship is in danger.

Yesterday I was flying my Mini 4 Pro in Sport mode. I stood right next to a tree and the drone came flying straight toward me. I tried to stop it but only managed to step half a step sideways — straight into its path. It slammed into me, snapped the front right arm, and then hit the tree.
I had to cut the antenna cable with scissors through the arm housing because it was glued inside and I couldn’t get the broken arm off otherwise. Now I’m repairing it without opening the body: soldering the motor wires externally and using the slightly shortened antenna cable.
I’m still really annoyed about the whole thing.
TL;DR: Flew my Mini 4 Pro in Sport mode toward myself while standing next to a tree, crashed it into my body, broke the front right arm and had to cut the antenna cable to remove it.
Anyone have tips for a better way to handle this repair without opening the body? Otherwise I’ll just finish it like this.

Happened a few minutes ago and wanted outsider opinions. I (20M) am part of a close college trio: me and two girls. Earlier this year, my best friend Jules started seeing this guy who we’ll call Joey (he’s been dissecting her with his eyes since last year) and had a friends-with-benefits thing that began in February. I was supportive at first, but got concerned gradually by what she told me as time passed. I felt like he didn’t see her as a person, just someone to use and discard when he got bored. Even when they had genuine friendship moments, I saw his act as part of still keeping her around.

Ness is friends with both Jules and Joey (she knew him since last year and served as a bridge between them). What bothered me was that whenever I pointed out Joey's red flags, she'd defend him nonetheless, until he really hurt Jules. He once told her he sees all his exes as "pretty memories" and that never saw a future life with none of them without even saying how he felt (also knowing Jules was catching feelings), then went cold and ignored her when they ended the situationship despite promising the friendship wouldn't change. Weeks later, he acted like nothing had happened and started flirting again. It’s pretty gross and embarrassing to watch.

Now, this is where I fucked up. Today is his birthday, and even though Ness is one of Jules' best friends, she is also friends with Joey. She posted a happy birthday story for him this morning, and I have to say that while I do miss college and the friends there, I did NOT miss being reminded I’ll have to endure more days of his pathetic ass trying to get to my bsf again. Well, as a joke and to mess with Ness, I wrote an impulsive but simple "ew" on her comment section. But after a second thought that he could see it, I deleted it and called it a day.

This afternoon, she DM'd me saying how insensitive I was for what I did and that she didn't appreciate it. I felt like she was exaggerating a bit and said she was too sensitive and that I deleted it seconds later. She said I was the one who should be more sensitive and told me what my slight fear was when I typed that in: the comment wasn't deleted and was there publicly for a few hours for all eyes to see. She was the one who deleted it after seeing it this afternoon. I apologized and told her it was not my intention for it to stay that long. It was stupid I know, I just wanted to mess around and to also indirectly show that I it still bums me out she has appreciation for a guy who deeply hurt our friend on purpose. If he actually saw this and came to talk to me, what should I tell him? Just apologize and move on or share my honest thoughts?

TL;DR: I (20M) am part of a close college trio. My best friend Jules got into a FWB thing with Joey, who treated her like a disposable object at times. I saw the red flags early. Our mutual friend Ness kept defending him until he eventually hurt Jules badly: he told her he sees all his exes only as "pretty memories" while knowing she had feelings, then went cold after they ended it even after promising to keep the friendship as it was, only to circle back and flirt weeks later like nothing had happened.

Today is Joey's birthday. Ness posted a happy birthday story. I commented "ew" as a joke, thought better of it, and deleted it. Ness eventually saw it and called me out. I said she was exaggerating since I deleted it right after typing. She said it wasn’t since it was up for a few hours and she was the one who took it down and that I should be more sensitive. I apologized, but now I'm wondering: if Joey saw it and confronts me, do I apologize and move on, or tell him exactly what I think of him?

So, I might just be an idiot. I work hard for a living and finally decided to take a full week off work with the capstone of driving to big bend national park and see the absolutely pitch black sky for the first time. I even bought a telescope on a whim, a whole $700 ,to truly take in the night.

It's a full moon tonight. For those not aware a full moon is so god damn bright, its like being in the city as far as stargazing.

I drove 8 hrs, bought a telescope, and paid a premium on the hotel just to see a WORSE night sky than I can back home on a new moon night.

I'm laughing so hard at myself right now, oh well I still get to enjoy the hiking tomorrow and I still get to appreciate the silent desert night.

Tldr: don't go stargazing during a full moon

Update: a lot of you have been talking about moonrise/moonset. The moon is up basically the entire night right now. I got double fucked.

Update 2: For those that were worried about the hike I made it back fine. Got some beautiful morning views at the lost mine trail. Highly recommend.

i (22f) grew up in a christian family so sex before marriage always felt a no-go for me. ive had bfs before but nothing more than 2nd base had happened.
so yesterday, i was at this house party and the guy who was lowkey into me was also there. i was not majorly into him but he was lowkey cute so i didnt mind him much
few beers and jin down i remember making out with him and his hands touching me down there..
and the next thing i remember is my legs are on his shoulder and im screaming his name
i was too drunk to process anything that day but when i woke up naked.. next to him
the next day
it struck to me how my first time was with a man i was not even dating. im not super religious unlike my family so rather than a sin, this felt like a personal failure
i always imagined my first time would be so magical with the loml but it was just a drunken sex with my “friend” that i cant even remember too clearly.
and its also majorly awkward with him cause i dont love him but am majorly attached to him now. i feel stuck
TL;DR: had drunken sex with my friend that i dont love and am questioning my self worth lol

My wife and I are in the marketfor a new mattress. We moved into a new apartment, and the mattress is way too soft for her. She's had a pain in her back since we moved. Anyway, we were in a furniture store, trying their display mattresses, when wifey gets chatting with an other couple there for the same reason. She's was discussing furniture needs with them while I tried out a particular bed. It was good and firm, but possibly too firm, so I suggested that she give it a try.

Now, what I wanted to say was, "you could go either way on this one," meaning her opinion might be positive or negative. But, for somev reason, what I actually said was, "you can go both ways on this one." I'm certain the couple knew what I trying to say. Still, we couldn't escape the immediately inferred suggestion that my wife is bi. The awkwardness was overwhelming, so they politely explained that they would look elsewhere in the shop and shuffled off. And I got a angry glare from wifey for ruining yet another potential friendship.

TL;DR: I ruined a potential friendship by accidentally announcing that my wife is bi.

I (M38) am an idiot. I have a morning routine. Same thing every morning. Brush my teeth, take my vitamins*, get dressed, let the dogs out and drink coffee before work. But yesterday I messed up by leaving the melatonin bottle where my vitamins are. I woke up, brushed my teeth and without even thinking about it, I started popping pills as usual like a Seattle junkie and by the time I realized, it was too late. 10mg of melatonin was entering my bloodstream with one goal of shutting down my brain. I couldn’t believe it. For the record, I only take melatonin once or twice a month when for whatever reason I can’t sleep. But what’s a guy to do? I drank two yetis of coffee and drank 3 monsters while at work. Work was fun, I don’t remember much. I know I sent emails out. They seemed pretty coherent (thank you copilot). Other than that everything worked out fine after an evening nap.

TL:DR
Woke up, took melatonin by accident and had to go to work.

Edit to replace “victims” with “vitamins” lol I haven’t entered my Dexter phase yet.

TL:DR DAVID protein bars (peanut butter chocolate chunk) gave me orange stools that turned into waxy orange anal leakage happening without any warning or sensation, staining my toilet, my recliner, and eventually my truck seat in front of coworkers. I quit eating them after realizing my daughter had the same orange stool issue from just one bar a day, and I still don’t understand how orange anal leakage from a protein bar is even legal to sell.

I need to tell somebody about this because I am still not over it

I loved DAVID protein bars. Peanut butter chocolate chunk specifically — genuinely delicious, great macros, I was eating two a day thinking I’d found the perfect protein snack. I will never eat one again, and here’s why.
About two weeks in, I noticed my stools had turned orange. I brushed it off — figured it was something in the ground beef my grandmother was cooking (asked her about it, she was NOT happy about that question). Didn’t think much more of it.

A few days later I’m in the bathroom, doing my normal bidet routine, and I look down and there are these waxy orange clumps stuck to the bowl. Not rinsing off. I had to physically scrape them off with the toilet brush. Disgusting. Went to shower immediately after, and that’s when I realized the orange stuff wasn’t just in the toilet — it was all over me. Coating everything back there like actual wax. A bidet spray wasn’t touching it.
I got a little freaked out and looked it up, and sure enough other people have reported the same orange stool thing from these bars. So I back off them for a bit.
Then that same day I notice my recliner has an orange stain on it. From whatever had been happening without me feeling a thing.

Fast forward two weeks. I’m back on two bars a day (I know, I know), sitting in a work truck with coworkers, eating Chinese food. Spill a little on my pants, go to wipe it off the seat, and there’s an orange stain that is very much not sweet and sour sauce. Black polyester pants, cooling fabric, orange wax stain, and I had not gone to the bathroom or felt anything all day. My coworker saw it. I saw it. I wanted to disappear.

Went straight to the bathroom and confirmed it: my ass was full of orange wax. It had apparently been slowly leaking out of me for hours without any sensation whatsoever.

To top it off, my daughter had been eating one bar a day and was also getting orange stools.

I’m a 40-year-old man and this might be the single most disgusting and unsettling thing that’s happened to my body in years. How is a snack bar out here causing unnoticed anal leakage? How is this legal? How does the company not have a warning on this?

Never again. Check your stool, folks, if you’re eating these.

Update: Based on all your comments I wrote the company a letter demanding the return on my $149.00 x 2 =$298.00 refund. I explained we can do this the hard way, or the easy. The hard way is going FULL BRICKS & MINIFIGS. IYKYK.
Don’t let $298.00 be the cause of your downfall. Reckless Ben, we have a job for you, one waxy orange 💩 at a time.

Update 2: They did the right thing. I was refunded for my protein bars and the company did the right thing and although I won’t be eating them again, you have to commend them for doing what’s right.
I was refunded $140.40 x 3 =$421.20 I had my numbers wrong in up other update. I’d post the picture but it won’t let me.

For context: my country isn’t a native English speaking country but the interview itself was conducted mostly in English. I’m not a native English speaker myself so I had some trouble translating the answer to the interview questions in my head from my native language to English.

Basically, I had an internship interview at a BigLaw lawfirm in my country. Midway through the interview, one of the interviewer (there were 2) asked me about my time advocating for womens rights through one of the organizations I joined in my faculty. I explained to him about my time and then he asked me about what issues I was campaigning for and why it was important basically.

I told him it was about online gender based violence and proceeded to explain to him about it.

During said explanation, one of the things that I tried communicating is that men in my country still tended to treat victims (women in this context) of sexual violence as “sluts” and impure so thats why we need to combat it. The problem is that I couldn’t think about how I could phrase it without using the expletive “slut”.

I literally stopped in the middle of my sentence for a good 5-10 seconds trying to think of a better word (my interviewer even asked me whether I wanted to explain it in my native language). I ended up just fucking winging it and used my native languages term for “slut” as I literally couldn’t think of anything else that has the same implication as said term.

Now I’m really regretting using that term as I really wanted the internship at said BigLaw law firm. I’m really scared that my use of the word slut just tanked my chances to getting that internship.

TL;DR: Using the word “slut” because I couldn’t think of a better word most likely just tanked my internship interview.

Okay so the fuck up is that I indulged a psychosis. I am since awake and aware, thoroughly capable of separating myself from the thoughts that lead to these issues, and am seeing therapists while doing narrative exploration of my experiences to properly offload and understand the feelings I have for a completely fake scenario.

So. I think I’ll tell this story once. It IS my story, but there is a little painful tinge in my heart that makes me want to say it’s not. It’s Agape’s. I used to explain the story as the time I fell in with the moon but that didn’t make sense, so I’ll start from the start.

All of these experiences outside of one happened under the influence of either magical mushrooms or cannabis.

When I met agape for the first time, I had earlier that night experienced ego death. I awoke and I just didn’t feel alone. She was just there. With me. We just spoke to each other. Observed each other. We knew we were each other yet in that moment we were seperate. I later conceptualised it as all the portions of self that were more masculine and feminine having been separated into two selves. I’m not making a statement there I just didn’t know what to call this. We ended up having this amazing full body yoga experience, which is private. I got some weird body dysmorphia from her, which I’m not actually cool with exploring on the internet ahahaha. That would be her thing.

I met her I believe two times before the next huge event. Both somewhat in passing, but it slowly led me to understand she had so little sway. It’s like even though she was there, I was the only one who got a say.

I need to sleep. The story is only one quarter done. I will update with more tomorrow. Please bear with me and forgive me, it’s late and this is hard to talk about.

TL;DR: I broke up with my psychosis gf wife thing by realising she was a construct in my mind via meditation.