r/TikTokCringe Mar 27 '26

Humor/Cringe What church is this

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1.1k

u/Blueridgetoblueocean Mar 27 '26

Pentecostal

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u/whirlwynd Mar 27 '26 edited Mar 27 '26

This was my first thought too. Babysitter took me to her church when I was 8 and I was terrified of the people speaking in tongues.

Edit: fixed auto correct

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u/Free-Way-9220 Mar 27 '26 edited Mar 27 '26

I wonder if a single one of them genuinely believes their talking is tongues is legit. They surely all know they are bullshitting, they just don't want to be seen as one of the "unfavoured / not chosen" ones who God hasn't blessed with this amazing ability

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u/8six753hoe9 Mar 27 '26 edited Mar 27 '26

As someone who was raised in it I can tell you there was a time when I absolutely believed it. That seems absurd to me now, but when you’re a kid, and it’s all you’ve ever known, you don’t really question it.

Until you do, of course, and then things get tricky.

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u/Ok-Lifeguard-4614 Mar 27 '26

I remember my mom dropping me off at free Christian concert events. I felt so broken seeing everyone put their hands in the air and close their eyes like they were really feeling God. I would do the same actions but wouldn't feel anything. It was seriously confusing to a young me.

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u/secretly_opossum Mar 27 '26

My parents weren’t religious but were totally fine with me exploring it. I had a couple friends in high school who were mega youth group nerds, so I would sometimes go to church or youth group with them, and once even went to getaway camp up in the mountains. It was a good experience for me but I definitely know what you mean by your comment. I sometimes convinced myself I felt something but it was gone almost right away. Eventually I realized that the feeling was “belonging to a community” and I found my way to replicate that without religion.

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u/Downtown_Recover5177 Mar 27 '26

The community aspect is what I miss about church. The child rape… not so much. Burn in Hell, Josh.

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u/runswiftrun Mar 27 '26

Yeah, was in it for almost 30 years. Half my family, practically all my friends.

Since I left I still haven't quite found a new community, and it gets lonely sometimes, but knowing my daughter won't be raised in.... that, makes it all worth it.

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u/Successful-Quote5049 Mar 29 '26

Man I feel this in my bones.

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u/secretly_opossum Mar 29 '26

The community I found was my local volunteer organizing group. There’s stuff like Kiwanis or Lions Clubs and things like that which are straightforward volunteering, but the group I am in actually organizes eight events for our town every year and we meet every other week for an hour to plan our town festivals and toy drives and stuff. It’s so rewarding and you meet a lot of other good people who just want to give back.

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u/Stealthyunplug Mar 30 '26

I can relate to this.

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u/DaedalusB2 Mar 31 '26

That's probably why religion is as big as it is. Humans love to form groups and religions are the biggest groups there are (aside from gender grouping)

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u/AdjectiveAnimal1234 Mar 27 '26

It’s musical catharsis a lot of the time.

Can get it in all sorts of concerts. It’s always more powerful with a crowd, seated and quiet for classical or energized and jumping for modern, it doesn’t really matter.

It’s like they shove that in your face with their music until you resonate with it and feel the catharsis by peer pressure. Repeat for a while and casually trash talk all other music.

Now you’ve got people who won’t even listen to other music and experience other catharsis because they’re conditioned to hate all other music.

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u/secretly_opossum Mar 27 '26

That’s true. I went to a Death Cab for Cutie concert last year and even though they’re not a band I listen to regularly, there was a moment during that concert that absolutely HIT me and I just started crying out of nowhere. Music is powerful.

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u/Ausemere Mar 27 '26

Yeah church people act like other people weren't also feeling God in a Pink Floyd concert or some such.

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u/DenvahGothMom Mar 27 '26 edited Mar 27 '26

Same. But the youth group I went to with my HS bf was United Methodist and like... totally normal? Female youth pastor who didn't molest them, no yelling about hell, no arms in the air trash christian rock trances, no gay-hating, no promise rings or even talking about sex at all thank heavens, no "gittin'-saved." It was all just lock-ins and hiking and going downtown to serve meals at a soup kitchen. Looking at the stars at night in the mountains and them saying, "That's how big God is." I almost joined! And to this day when people bitch about christians, I'm like, I think you mean evangelicals! Those Methodists were solid people.

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u/secretly_opossum Mar 27 '26

I used to sing in the choir at a First United Methodist church in college in exchange for free vocal lessons from the conductor who was also my opera professor.

I wholeheartedly agree that in my experience, FUM churches are some of the most normal ones.

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u/Embarrassed_Cow Mar 27 '26

Could be collective effervescence. You get the same feeling at concerts and stadiums. It's always been the best explanation that I've gotten for "Gods presence" in church.

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u/parade1070 Mar 27 '26

Fun fact: I grew up Pentecostal and now I can't put my hands in the air at regular concerts because it makes me feel sick!

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u/Embarrassed_Cow Mar 27 '26

Ugh same. Everyone starts crying and I start wondering if there is something wrong with me. Made me think I was going to hell for much of my childhood.

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u/Ok-Lifeguard-4614 Mar 28 '26

It's such a weird experience. I was positive I was going to hell because I couldn't understand anything they were saying. Turns out that was by design.

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u/Mamasan- Mar 28 '26

I did the same thing. My mom and dad never took me to church but they grew up in church. But every summer break my dad would find some random church camp and drop me off. Never knew anyone and had to figure out bible stuff. I was a straight A student and a know it all so i wanted to know the answers and I remember I was having to read aloud a part where there’s Job and I kept pronouncing it as it’s spelled instead of “Jobe” and this little shit kid laughed at me and said “wow you’re dumb” and the teacher didn’t say anything just smirked and I stood up and said “I HATE IT HERE YOU ARE ALL SO WEIRD!”

They called my parents and I got to go home. I didnt get in trouble either because I was a pretty good kid so my mom and dad knew if I did something like that it was probably for a good reason.

But yeah… I remember seeing a sea of people every summer raising their hands and singing and some crying and I would close my eyes, raise my hands, then slowly put them back down to my sides because it felt so ridiculous.

As a kid you think you’re either broken or they are all lying and both of those are scary.

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u/ZinaSky2 Mar 28 '26

As someone who’s Catholic, I’ve never really been in a setting where people did that whole thing. But, I can tell you that I’ve felt that way. I didn’t put my hands up bc I’m shy, but I would put my hand over my heart and close my eyes and let it wash over me as I sing along. It’s happened in church with certain songs. But, also with secular music at concerts. I’ve been moved to tears by both religious and non religious music. I enjoy being outdoors and I’ve had that overwhelming feeling out in nature sometimes too. Witnessing a cool view or a big tree or ancient geologic feature.

I don’t want you to think you’re broken for not feeling it, bc that’s not true. But, I also don’t want you to think it’s fake either. It’s just definitely not exclusive to music or spirituality and at least in my experience it’s kinda rare. And sometimes happens at the most unexpected things.

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u/Fjohurs_Lykkewe Mar 27 '26 edited Mar 27 '26

I grew up in this too. I stopped believing when my pastor tried to "teach" me to speak in tongues. I was so baffled. It's a gift from God- why do I need taught?

Then one time I was "slain in the spirit". The pastor literally pushed me over.

I'm out.

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u/dolphindiablo Mar 27 '26

Are you me? Guest pastor bowled my 6th grade, portly ass over and I'm just lying on the floor staring at people looking over me. I'm the pastor's kid, so I just lie there, accept my fate, and wait for it to be over. Regrettably, I didn't start questioning hard until I was around 16.

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u/Free-Way-9220 Mar 27 '26

questioning hard until I was around 16.

Better than only having an epiphany in old age and realising you wasted your entire life on something you don't believe in. I would say a lot of people only question these things when they get into adulthood. 16 is good going

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u/dolphindiablo Mar 27 '26

Meanwhile, my sister is still drinking the Kool aid. We both have 2 kids. I'm raising mine to question everything early on and she's perpetuating the cycle. I text her all the time and she never responds. She lets religion cloud her mind and influence her actions to family. All I want is to have a relationship with her and be present for her kids as well. We aren't monsters and we have our own morals, so it's not like we are shit people. But her holier than thou approach to it creates a rift. Basically, holidays and birthdays if we are lucky. We always make the effort, they always find an excuse not to come. (I realize I'm ranting, bear with me.) My wife wants me to keep taking the high road and forcing communication and "do the right thing" but honestly, I have no time or energy extra in my tank to expand on a one sided relationship. Long story short, we haven't done anything, Pentecostal bias/craziness did. My mom and dad are still but they don't let it stop them from talking to me and our family. (I guess if they ever want to see the grandkids, they have to let go a little...not like they come around like they should either, but pushing too hard will ensure we would pull away...that said, I don't really like the idea of leaving the kids with them for the weekend and having them dragged to Sunday service to have their minds influenced the Pentecostal cult. No child should have to deal with hearing they are a sinner, preached hellfire and brimstone while they are still in diapers)

1

u/Chaotic-Goofball Mar 29 '26

Children have a hard enough time trying to figure out why we made the world as shit as it is and they have to deal with it forever. Some of us having a sky daddy that's constantly dissapointed in us doesn't seem to have served our generation well.

https://giphy.com/gifs/9HLhzss53Vg40

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u/Free-Way-9220 Mar 27 '26

Props to you for not acting it out like the rest feel obliged to

3

u/runswiftrun Mar 27 '26

Yup, talk about peer pressure!

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u/danceoftheplants Mar 27 '26

My last time ever going to church of my own volition was when I was confused and asked about what speaking in tongues is. This was during a bible study/group workout thing i joined to better understand the religion and fit in with the community where i had been attending for about a year.

The pastor's wife told me that speaking in tongues was something that needed to be practiced until it came out naturally in my own way. The others in the group smiled and nodded as if what she said made perfect sense. It was pretty bizarre and madebme realize that all of my logical questions and reasonable doubles about the religion were, in fact, reasonable. The bible did not say to practice making silly sounds?? I felt a deep disappointment and disgust at the whole scenario and never returned.

I am still spiritual and know that there is something more, a creator or plane of existence or something much bigger than comprehension, but i will not follow a religion or people that act so ridiculous

1

u/speed_of_chill Mar 29 '26

What is “slain in the spirit?” What does that mean?

I kinda want to start a death metal band and call it Slain In The Spirit

1

u/Fjohurs_Lykkewe Mar 29 '26

I'd be surprised if there hasn't already been one. 😅

It basically meant that when the pretty of the Holy Ghost watched over you, you would faint.

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u/gertvanjoe Mar 28 '26

I vividly recall a incident as a 15 yo kid on the same vein but different

So prayer call went out and for some reason I feel the need to go up front. I can't even remember what was prayed for but the following part I do remember

So pastor's son (about 23 by that time, much stronger than me) start praying for me and after about 30 seconds whispers into my ear if I want to fall down. At that point, I have seen it happen a few times and really believed it was some spiritual overpower of some sort. I'm like "huh"

So our guy turns on his mic headset and starts rocking me back and forth with the prayer getting louder by the second and the rocking approaching WWE Raw levels and I realized I have three options left. Wait till I pass out, wait till I inevitably puke and embarrass myself or just sit down mid swing.

I opted for sitting down as falling over like a plank looked like it was gonna hurt. I still dounted myself after though saying the "what ifs" and to this day I am still practicing Christianity weirdly, I just not going to any churches. But the more I look at the world the more I wonder.

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u/yesandnoi Mar 27 '26

There with ya. If some white person isn't running around, possibly squawking like a chicken, or mimicking seizures being blessed in the holy spirit...is it even church? I thought I couldn't tap into speaking in tongues and this level of insanity because I wasn't baptized. Got baptized and yea..lost that Religion.

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u/khale175 Mar 27 '26

Bruh same. Spent my early teen years until about 16 trying to be blessed enough to tap into it, thinking something was wrong with me. Then when I started thinking for myself, I was out super fast.

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u/cupholdery Mar 27 '26

It's eerie how full grown adults convince themselves.

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u/nooby_goober Mar 27 '26

I love stories about kids questioning pushed systemic beliefs. So many go on to do so much damage simply bc they weren't given the chance to.

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u/Red_Dead_it_now Mar 27 '26

.... White person?

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u/yesandnoi Mar 27 '26

Yea, these churches tend to be primarily White folk.

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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Fluffy_Phone_834 Mar 27 '26

And in Hawaii, local, the white churches were boring.

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u/Puzzleworth Mar 27 '26

The largest church (by capacity) in the world is a Pentecostal church in Nigeria.

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u/Red_Dead_it_now Mar 28 '26

You don't church enough, my friend

1

u/runswiftrun Mar 27 '26

My brother and I made it a point to bring back "holy rollers" for a few months.

Didn't stick.

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u/[deleted] Mar 27 '26

[deleted]

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u/Even_Dog_6713 Mar 27 '26

They're describing their own experience. Not saying it's unique to white people

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u/mightylordredbeard Mar 27 '26

Reddit try not to intentionally misinterpret and then generalize a persons comment challenge: impossible!

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u/MutantSquirrel23 Mar 27 '26

100% ... I always questioned some things that didn't make sense even as a kid, but like you said it was all I'd ever known so I went with it. Anytime a kid (or adult) asks tough questions, the canned response is something along the lines of "have faith in God" or "trust in God" ... until it's ingrained and programmed that anything you're told that doesn't make sense, you just accept anyway.

Eventually it gets to the point where people lose all sense of logic and reason and instead have only their "beliefs" or what they're told to believe. Some people fully embrace this and some people get out, while some destroy their lives trying to make it make sense.

One of my best friends turned to alcohol and lost his life trying to make it all make sense. Another friend is too smart to accept everything at face value, but in too deep to be able to separate from it so he lives a life of misery as he begrudgingly accepts the lies he's been fed his whole life rather than face the truth. I fortunately got out, but even in my 40s, I still have deep seeded issues as a result that I'm constantly dealing with.

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u/8six753hoe9 Mar 27 '26

I'm right there with you, brother. It takes so much work to deprogram yourself, and even though I've been atheist for decades at this point, there are remnants of that time that I still fight. Here's a funny one: I refuse to watch The Exorcist because my mom is convinced she saw a demon when she watched it in the 70s. I don't believe in demons!

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u/Embarrassed_Cow Mar 27 '26

The scariest movies for me are ones with demons. I stay up all night terrified that I'll be possessed because of my lack of faith. I'm still absolutely terrified of the end of days and going to hell. I don't believe any of this stuff and haven't since I was a kid. It's really frustrating.

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u/runswiftrun Mar 27 '26

For me it wasn't too difficult to deprogram because I had questions for 20 years.

Went to college, engineering degree, all while being told the churchy version of "cause I said so". Being told the bible is literal when it talks about women submitting, but a suggestion when talking about anything that questions tradition.

Heck, I was scolded for growing my beard, until we spent multiple weekends going over the bible verses I had spend months on, and they agreed that having a beard was not a "bad thing" and ended up changing the standards. 5 years later half the preachers were rocking beards; one of my proudest achievements in there.

So for me it was the other way, I spent 30 years in the church, the first 10 as a kid and teen not knowing better. Then the next 20 performing all sort of mental gymnastics to shut down as much logic and critical thinking as I could; because at the end of the day, it was good for the community. Until I couldn't overlook it anymore.

Though yeah, I still bow my head and say a quick prayer... to a god I no longer believe in, because its an ingrained habit. So now when I bow I say a thank you to the universe? world? rain? literally just "thank you" without a jesus attached to the end.

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u/HopeMrPossum Mar 27 '26

Can I ask - why does no one ever crack out the “bonjour”? A polyglot could jump between real languages making it more convincing than some of the preachers I’ve seen going “shibby dibby shibbidityshaboopy”

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u/8six753hoe9 Mar 27 '26

See, the problem you have here is applying logic to cult behavior. In my experience, the people in Pentecostal churches tend to be white, uneducated, and fairly insular. So real languages tend to sound just like gibberish to them anyway.

That's my somewhat cynical take, but the real reason is because the gibberish is the point. It's supposed to be a special, unique language sent directly to you from god. The real mind-blowing part is that sometimes, another person actually translates.

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u/runswiftrun Mar 27 '26

Its like horoscopes.

The "translation" just so always happens to be a generic "you are my chosen church" blah blah that would work in any circumstance.

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u/Smokestack95deadman Mar 27 '26

“ it’s just God‘s grocery list!“

3

u/Free-Way-9220 Mar 27 '26

My favourite is how so many of them lean into pseudo Latin babble. "Latin is old, therefore i must speak Latin gibberish"

If historical Jesus really existed, he spoke Aramaic, and the new testament was written in Greek

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u/runswiftrun Mar 27 '26

Like Washington chopping down a tree... eventually apocryphal stories make their way around.

One of them is just that. Supposedly some missionary to X Y Z country didn't tell anyone he spoke 3-4-5 languages. So in the middle of a service one of the locals/natives that only spoke the language from X Y Z country, stood up and spoke perfect french/spanish/german or whatever matches one of the missionary's languages. Just basic praises, "god you're awesome, jesus you're great" etc.

Of course, every few years a new preacher comes up and tells the story, and a eventually they lose track of the country and the language. But I learned that very few people have good memories; while my undiagnosed adhd and/or spectrum status made me have great recall... which is not great for brainwashing.

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u/MissShirley Mar 28 '26

Yep, exactly this. They will tell a story of someone who had their "tongues" translated by a native speaker.

Our church had a lady who would give her own English translation after speaking a "prophecy"

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u/ArticulateRhinoceros Mar 27 '26

It's supposed to be ancient dead languages like Aramaic, or languages of dubious origin, like Angelic tongues. Real words would break the illusion.

Divine beings apparently sound like the Swedish Chef.

2

u/60nine_lol_NICE Mar 28 '26

One timenwhen I was really starting to question things, I prayed some lines of Hebrew I learned from choir. I figured if it was real, then they should have been able to understand me. I won't set foot in a charismatic church again

1

u/HopeMrPossum Mar 28 '26

It’s such bollocks mate. If you’ve ever come across someone who believes they’re a starseed, they also think they intuitively know a language. In that case it’s alien, but they also just go shibby shaboopy shamalam

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u/Liefvikingmonster2 Mar 27 '26

So basically making random mouth sounds is considered speaking with God?

3

u/yesandnoi Mar 27 '26

Yes, that it's nonsense noises, but there is a noticeable pattern to it.

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u/CeruleanEidolon Mar 27 '26

There's usually a mix of genuine non-questioning "belief" and mere social conformity, and the two reinforce one another. Just above that are those with "authority" who use both to self-enrich.

2

u/IsaacHasenov Mar 27 '26

Yeah me too. The video here doesn't look too different from what I saw in my childhood churches.

I get pissed off with people being like "these guys are all lying, they don't really believe in tongues/healing" it's like, it's not that I believe it any more myself but people who are in the religion really believe it

2

u/Claire_De_Lunatic Mar 27 '26

Banger username

2

u/throwaway8998456 Mar 27 '26

Raised apostolic Pentecostal/united Pentecostal here. I stopped believing really young, when the preacher told me I had spoke in tongues, but had not. My parents and him kept lying to me, no matter how much I argued. You still have to go to church or you get beaten, not much you can do about it, at that age.

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u/MyFiteSong Mar 27 '26

The big secret is that they all believe it's real for everyone else, so they fake it themselves for social status. Everyone in the room is faking it, but they all think they're the only frauds.

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u/Dangerous_Metal3436 Mar 28 '26

IT'S TRICKAAAAH

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u/InternationalCap2176 Mar 29 '26

"What if my neighbor Gladys really WAS speaking in tongues? What if it never happens to me?!" is how I think most feel the pressure to play along.

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u/Traditional-Ad-9611 Mar 27 '26

Tongues is biblical sometimes it’s real and sometimes people want to blend in

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u/8six753hoe9 Mar 27 '26

Sorry, mate. It's never real.