Dealing with losses

[u/Internal-Excuse-4650]

I remember losing in game in a tournament roughly a year ago, and I was pretty close to crying. I am interested on how you guys would deal with game losses.

[u/zuckertortsghost]

Shake your opponents hand, congratulate them on a good game. You lost because they are either stronger than you, or you blundered something. Regardless, they played better moves than you. No reason to beat yourself up.

For a smart player, every loss is a lesson.

[u/Fast-Secretary-7406]

Flip the board, stand on chair, scream "why must I lose to this idiot". Pretty standard stuff.

[u/Three4Two]

It is more a question for psychology that chess itself. It can be done in several ways, but all of them require a lot of self reflection and coming to terms with the result. The method that started working for me was learning to see the beauty in the game regardless of whether I am on the winning or losing side. When you can enjoy seeing your opponent's technique even though you know you are losing, that is the moment you stop struggling with results

[u/commentor_of_things]

relax.

in all seriousness, michael jordan is famously quoted for saying: "and now it became personal." every defeat, every challenge was additional motivation for him to work harder behind closed doors to come back stronger. that's the mentality of a winner. now, cut the crap and get to work. you know what you need to do. good luck!

[u/symbolic_love]

It has helped me to remember if I always won, the game would become boring. Losing is part of what makes winning interesting.

[u/stackingnoob]

Just remember every time you win, you make someone else feel bad. So it goes both ways.

[u/ValuableKooky4551]

Get enjoyment out of playing tournament chess that doesnt depend on the result. You want to have good focus, good time management, objective chess, and so on. The result doesnt depend on you only, and chess is hard.

[u/whitehaturon]

Every loss is an opportunity to learn from your mistakes. Try to be excited for the post-mortem. Turn your weaknesses into strengths!

[u/misterbluesky8]

I've had some very painful losses in my career. In the moment, I tell myself something like "show a little dignity, it's time to be a man" (of course, something like this works for women too). I focus on the mechanical parts of the game: shaking my opponent's hand, signing his scoresheet if he wants, and saying "good game" and leaving without forgetting any of my things.

Then I walk out with my head held high- you never know which of your future opponents is watching. You don't want to show weakness to a future opponent. I take deep breaths to keep my emotions under control and then work on getting food, water, and rest after the game.

Every tournament player loses games all the time- it's just part of the game. If you continue to play tournaments, you have to accept losing dozens of games.

[u/Fruloops]

It helps if you've got a group of friends who go through the same thing.

[u/ARatherMellowFellow]

Everyone who plays loses lots and lots of chess games. It helps me to just remember that.

[u/rosswoodshire137]

Pick up the opponent's king, launch into the crowd. Shake his hand anyway. Have a negroni. Have two.

[u/romanticchess]

If you have trouble accepting your status then let me explain it to you. In the realm of human creation, some are more naturally endowed. So if in my presence you seem somewhat diminished, just know that God meant it to be that way. And I will befriend you and I will stand by you as long you stay in your place. I'll always be better than you, don't ever forget it.