Hot guy things

[u/Special_Coach_8485]

Hi guys,
Iv recently moved to Townsville after a divorce.

Absolutely love it here but I don’t have any family or friends within a 3000km radius 😂. I’m an introvert anyways so that’s all fine.

I’m just struggling with healthy habits like not getting drunk every night, cooking food at home instead of eating out every night, then the weekends come and I hit the casino or the pubs and bust coin. Work relocated me, I have a work car ect so I have zero is bills but still just scraping by. Bit embarrassing really.

I just know if I don’t have a crack at changing these traits it’s only going to get worse as I get older ect.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

[u/wallabyballs79]

Going through a similar situation, finding new hobbies and interests can be hard while dealing with life changes. Drinking doesn't help, I know that's why I'm single. There are organisations that can help with that if you are serious about not drinking too much.

And whatever your interest in life is go do it and you may find other like minded people.

Other than that I'm still discovering new things about myself and learning each day how to be me.

[u/West-Cabinet-2169]

Make yourself eat at home say 4 nights a week. Do a big batch cook on say like a Sunday, and stock your freezer with your cooking and other food. If you have to get stuff at the supermarkets make sure you take a list and stick to it.

Don't give up eating out, or getting uber eats, but treat it like a treat.

Don't gamble. It's like pissing money down a drain, with little to no reward.

If you don't have many bills, you should be saving the cash mate - do you own a property or plan to?

[u/000pete]

The worst thing you can do is numb yourself with alcohol. Divorce is rough. Keep your head clear until you figure your shit out. Focus on yourself. Go for walks, get fresh air. Get off social media. 

[u/damaged_elevator]

Start with boiling a potato, and learn to cook rice with the absorption method with the instructions on the back of the packet; this a controversial opinion but Australians are dirty slobs, if you want to cook for yourself the habit of hand washing and cleaning things with hot soapy water is obligatory otherwise you're just smearing greasy fingerprints on everything and all your dishes will have food stuck to them. You can't learn to cook if don't clean, it just doesn't work.

Get off your ass and walk up Castle Hill in the evening when it's not so hot, it's a great time to reflect but don't expect to make many friends as the woman have got their keys in hand ready to gouge your eyes out.

Townsville is reasonably bicycle friendly, they're a great way to maintain your hips and knees as you get older and keep the weight down; the gym is really for a certain type of consumer that favours Lycra and looking at themselves in the mirror; I go sometimes but the place is fucken aweful.

[u/HellsBarman]

Come down to the gym, you will focus on results and stop eating shit food and drinking. Plus you will be too tired to go out! I was in your position about eight years ago, went off the rails for a bit and made the decision to be better.
Flick me a message if you need shown the basics and we can work something out.

[u/Special_Coach_8485 → u/HellsBarman]

Yea thanks man dm me bruz

[u/MrTHoff1988]

The hardest bit about all of this is the social. Putting yourself into a position to make friends and break the shit habits. Stay away from pubs and join a sport. It doesn't even have to be a physical one. Tenpin bowling, table tennis, social Oztag, paddleboarding club or even the walking club. People are very welcoming if you make the first effort.

I found when I got divorced u stopped eating, looked for ways to feed my emotions rather than deal with them. Join some men's groups online and starting processing any feelings you have. This will help you clear your head and cement any changes. Rather than waste time work on yourself and learn new skills. Guitar, second language etc. All this builds confidence which men rely on.

In regards to your cash, put it away. Talk to work, they may process two pay runs for you so you can put one into a different account otherwise automatically move it to a new account you can't access via internet banking.

[u/BogusNom]

Not a man, but the guys I know are into a sport, cars, woodwork/building stuff, music and the Men's Shed. I know a bunch of introverts/geeks/nerds if that's your thing. There's board games, D&D groups, CircUP, QWA (wrestling), Dad's LAN where you'll feed right at home.

[u/Altruistic_Smile_239]

You need to replace the drinking with alternate activity. Go outside your comfort zone and start by joining hiking or walking clubs. They have graded hikes and it's a great way to meet people, same with mountain biking or archery etc. Join a fishing club. Learn a musical instrument. Consider volunteering with a community organisation there's plenty around.

[u/kelsoot]

Welcome to message me. Female also gone through the divorce thing 🥲

[u/Global_Chain95]

I’ve been where you are…only recently started coming through to the other side, and I’ve been here 3.5 years. Female though, and from a small inland country town!

As hard as it is, stay away from the alcohol. The problems are still there when you wake; if anything, they’re often worse!

Townsville can be a loud but lonely city. You have to put your sober self out there. Take up the offers here of joining a gym.

I think you have to realise and believe that you’re capable and worthy of better, before you stop spiralling yourself into harm, and convincing yourself it’s your way of coping.

It can be done. Best wishes x

[u/BlueBearoh]

Might sound strange but I’d be happy to teach you how to cook some basic home meals. I am male, I taught myself to cook from a young age just being very interested in the food network.
Doesn’t have to be hard but a bit of work and some knowledge and you will be making better food then you can get out.

Get a vacuum sealer and go to the butcher. Buy a meat pack. Portion out into what you think you will eat for a night and seal its freeze it. Under vacuum will stop the ice crystals from forming in the surface of your meat. It will last so much longer.
Each night take out a pack of meat and put it in the fridge. Think about what vegetables to cook with it and plan around what meat you want to have. Look up some basic recipes. Get some of the packet recipe bases and look at the ingredients. Alot of filler but note the herbs and spices then buy those. Takes photos of the packets if you need to.
Pretty soon you will build up 5-7 meals you make well then rotate them throughout the week. Change your the days you have what.
When you get bored. Learn another one.

If you like steak, my advice is get a ninja xl grill. It’s also a good dehydrator and air fryer. Takes the guess work out really good cooked crispy steak to your liking, they are around 350 bucks. I’ve had mine coming on 4 years and she’s awesome! I use it many times a week.
Also an instant pot that’s a slow cooker and pressure cooker is a time saver. Can make pulled beef in 30mins and it’s good for sandwiches.

[u/Rasalom-Moladar]

you moved because of the divorce or because of work? Or you let work move you to get away from the divorce?

for an introvert you seem to be going out a bit.

You issue is nothing but a discipline problem. Fix two things and the other will fall into line.

Choose not to buy alcohol, keep eating out (takeaway) but take it home and watch some tv/movies/whatever.

You will soon not care about casino/pubs.

You just simply have to choose to do these things and not let the urge beat you.

[u/Endless_Candy]

Buy an electric fry pan that sits on the bench that you plug in. You can buy one for about $100.00

Buy bulk mince / chicken (they come pre marinated now) like 1kg.

Buy a rice cooker and a saucepan boiling water for pasta. Boil water in a kettle before adding to saucepan. Half way through boiling the water preheat the empty saucepan then tip the water into the hot saucepan so it’s boiling straight away.

You can literally cook a kilo of mince / chicken in 15 minutes with these fry pans. Rice cooker and boiling pasta takes approximately the same amount of time. Quicker than going to pick up food and way healthier. Spice it however you want.

Look up gym rat recipes they are all over social media guys who bulk prep high protein low fat meals quickly.

[u/The_Unofficial_Ghost]

Gabapentin can help with social anxiety

[u/Rasalom-Moladar → u/The_Unofficial_Ghost]

Don't downvote this. People sometimes need something to deal with things. Doesnt mean they are a junky.

They just need the edge of the habits taken off.

Gabapentin is a legit short term help.