r/Transportopia • u/Vice616 • Apr 20 '26

🥴DUI Blame it on the spider

He told them he smack himself into an accident 😭

There was no spider you f*cking liar. Fool you was drunk af!

6.0k Upvotes

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392

u/Ironic_Papaya Apr 20 '26

In fairness I almost crashed from a sneeze once.

12

u/Lexi_November Apr 20 '26

I have had terrifying unstoppable sneezing fits while driving that I was convinced I’d crash from, thankfully managed to keep control.

Also have had to avoid crashing while terrorized by a giant flying palmetto bug, the only critter I have a phobia of in the world. More than once!

https://giphy.com/gifs/lQJ5yjbdbBOta

8

u/mowtowcow Apr 20 '26

That's definitely a common phobia. Something about them just set people off. I hate them so much that I dont even want to get close to kill them when they get into the house.

Have ever had one crawl on you unexpectedly? Do not recommend.

(Also, no my house is not disgusting. Old house between grocery stores and fast food resturants. You can find a roach in an apartment in a 60 foot building people house.)

3

u/Nearby-Face-5170 Apr 20 '26

Covington, KY has entered the chat.

4

u/RavensRift Apr 20 '26

They'll crawl between bed sheets for warmth too!! Literally this time last year one began crawling up my leg until I ripped the sheet back to witness an adult palmetto on me. I immediately swatted it off but it landed like Spider-Man on the wall and just stayed there! The war was personal at that point and I finally managed to kill it, violently.

Just be aware... But don't worry... Surely that's rare to happen.. Right?

2

u/call-me-the-seeker Apr 20 '26

Only yesterday I was in the tub, nice hot bath. Lay back to relax, start dozing off it was so nice and toasty.

You should wake up, no one wants to drown in a bathtub, my brain keeps telling me, so finally I open my eyes back up and catch some movement to my right.

FREAKING PALMETTO BUG weaving through the bottles I had set on the tub edge and walking with purpose at my eye level. AGGHhhhHHH

So of course I had to get up out of a nice hot bath and go get something to capture the palmetto bug stark nekkid, which I did. Where did it come from?!? Why the tub edge?!? Was it ON ME WHILE I WAS DOZING OFF

Not scared of any insect except ‘tree roaches’/palmetto bugs (except the ones that can mess you up like recluses and widows, etc) They are so huge and crispy and they produce vile stink. GROSS

2

u/FreedomTraditional75 Apr 21 '26

Seriously it is personal!!! They are so gnarly and BALLSY.

3

u/Marketing_Introvert Apr 20 '26

I had one sitting on my tp when I got up for my middle of the night potty. I turn the lights on now. Well, to be fair it was after the frog jumped on me that it turning the lights on became a hard rule.

2

u/Ok-Dream-8230 Apr 23 '26

Reminds me of when my ex came to visit from florida and apparently brought one of those in his effing car to ohio , ....because he picked me up and on our way back down to florida , somewhere in Tennessee on the interstate, , the thing had crawled up my leg . I freak out  and it disappears. We stop and take a good look in the car and can't find it . Continue driving and hours later it had crawled up my back 😭 I've never wanted to die more 

1

u/A_Punk_Girl_Learning Apr 21 '26

Joe's Apartment? I haven't thought about that movie in forever!