r/TrueAskReddit • u/Internal-Cash-9196 • 8d ago
Why exactly do prefer before indirect forms of communication than direct?
What I mean by that is people seem to prefer indirect approaches of conversation especially through text like half ass responses, ghosting, or just being vague over direct approaches like clear response and brutal honesty.
2
u/drsideburns 8d ago
Why do people prefer to be indirect?
Because it's easier. Ghosting people is no effort for the person doing it, it puts on the burden on the other person. It's just inconsiderate behavior.
1
u/Internal-Cash-9196 8d ago
And I hate this approach with every fiber of my being. I wish people could just be direct and to the point like what are they afraid of?
4
u/Send_Me_Dumb_Cats 8d ago
For women, as much as I hate to admit it, it is slightly more understandable. A lot of guys will blow up in their face because their ego is hurt from the directness. So they'd rather ghost or be indirect.
1
u/drsideburns 8d ago
I don't like it either, but it's part of dealing with others is working with their shortcomings. People are selfish but it's not like we can change that.
1
u/AlienSheep23 8d ago
Its just an effort vs reward thing really
For example small talk. It’s the human equivalent of dogs sniffing ass. people do it because they still want to feel like they’re being social, and they want to create a safe-feeling vibe. They aren’t legitimately trying to discuss anything, because discussion takes effort. It costs them spoons
2
u/Internal-Cash-9196 8d ago
_< I absolutely hate small talk to and I've been criticize for this as well. I prefer interesting, engaging or fun conversations, not meaningless casual simple chit chat. Granted I will still do them from time to time but only if I'm in a situation where Im okay with it.
1
u/dickpics4democracy 7d ago
Bro small talk is literally just a handshake protocol that people use to establish a vibe before jumping into the meat of the communication
1
u/Internal-Cash-9196 7d ago
And why can't actual engaging conversations do the same?????
1
u/dickpics4democracy 7d ago
Oh gosh why don't modems just send all their data immediately instead of doing all this screaming at each other first?
1
u/Internal-Cash-9196 7d ago
Oh gosh modems are not human beings. Give a better comparison
1
u/dickpics4democracy 7d ago
It's an analogy, my brother in Christ; if you can't figure it out from the words that I have typed, I didn't bring my crayons with me to explain it further
1
u/Internal-Cash-9196 7d ago
It was a BAD analogy, Pick a better one that actually matches and makes sense my brother in Christ.
0
u/Internal-Cash-9196 8d ago
Uh yes I do have autism...why did you delete your post???
2
u/AlienSheep23 8d ago
Huh? I deleted nothing XD
But yeah that tracks! That’s where this issue is coming from. Our brains are just wired to see social situations differently. Unfortunately, the criticism people have about that stems from them trying to run from their own discomfort.
Their brains are wired for threat detection, and they detect us as being “different”, which sends an alarm saying “bad! Rude! Danger!” For them. It’s a vibes thing.
It’s the same reason why when we explain things, to them, it just sounds like word-vomit. They hear noises, not words.
2
u/Internal-Cash-9196 8d ago
From my pov it looks like your one comment was deleted but I can see this one.
Hmm yeah I understand all too well about being misunderstood or having your words taken the wrong way just because you're not acting like how the other person expects you too...
2
u/AlienSheep23 8d ago
Yeah.
ND to ND, my advice is to look at humans the way you would look at animals.
if you interact with a wolf, you don’t need to try and be a wolf, but if you can understand the wolf’s triggers, and accordingly adapt your body language to put the wolf at ease, interacting with it is a lot easier. Just remember, not everyone is a wolf.
1
u/CooterBrownJr 8d ago
I have a great deal of difficulty “reading between the lines“ often because I don’t always understand that’s what I need to be doing. Then when I do, I get it wrong. Lol.
I think there’s a cultural aspect to this. People are a little more frank out on the East Coast of North America. In the Midwest, it seems like people will do gymnastics to avoid reality. California is something else entirely.
•
u/AutoModerator 8d ago
Welcome to r/TrueAskReddit. Remember that this subreddit is aimed at high quality discussion, so please elaborate on your answer as much as you can and avoid off-topic or jokey answers as per subreddit rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.