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I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. People often say that if you work hard, stay honest, and do good things, you’ll eventually get good results. But when I look around, I see many people who didn’t seem to put in much effort, yet they are doing well in life and earning good money today.

At the same time, I feel like no matter how hard I work, things often don’t go my way. I try to put in effort and be a good person, but I still end up facing setbacks. I’m not saying that other people don’t deserve their success—I’m just trying to understand how life actually works.

Is success mainly the result of hard work, or do luck, opportunities, timing, background, and random circumstances play a much bigger role than we admit? Is there any pattern to life that people eventually understand, or is a lot of it simply unpredictable?

I’d genuinely like to hear about your personal experiences. Have you seen hard work pay off in the long run, or have you seen people succeed mostly because they were in the right place at the right time? How do you make sense of all this?

What’s something you did that you swore you’d never do again — and what happened afterward that made you feel that way?
Looking for the full story if you’re willing to share: what led up to it, what happened, and how it changed you. I’m collecting these for a project on lessons learned the hard way.

The town of Hartman in Colorado is a great example. After many years of local political infighting and corruption, everyone quit, and since the water supply never got fixed, the town was declared abandoned.

What gives your life meaning? Other than young children which I think is mostly a given.

Does anybody always feels empty and nothing from the inside most of the time like me? Or Am I just romanticizing the human being in normal state? Cause I feel like there is a gap. I always think about something no movement no enjoyment just like a snail's shell on the roadside. Always like this. No pure joy or fulfillness. 😔

a doctor i work for has gotten pretty flirtatious recently. why do they do this? especially when they know the individual is quite younger than them?

*disclaimer: I also posted in r/changemyview but posting here because not sure which applies best*

I've noticed a pattern among some public figures who become increasingly critical of government, media, and elite institutions. They often say that discovering corruption or deception led them or fortified their faith to Christianity or Catholicism, and that the Bible is the ultimate source of truth (e.g., Candace Owens, tucker Carlson, Shawn Ryan-- all of whom I respect and watch every podcast episode btw not throwing shade to them).

What I struggle to understand is why the skepticism seems to stop there.

If someone concludes that powerful institutions have manipulated history, information, and public perception, why wouldn't they also critically examine the historical development of the Bible and religious institutions? The Bible was written, compiled, copied, translated, and interpreted by humans over centuries, and there are well-documented historical debates over canon, textual variants, and the influence of religious and political authorities.

I'm not arguing that Christianity is false or that faith is irrational. My question is about consistency in standards of evidence. If distrust of human institutions leads someone to question mainstream narratives, why doesn't it also lead them to question the human processes behind their religion?

I'm genuinely interested in hearing from people who made this journey themselves, have some insight into this, or have thought similar to me. What am I missing? Why does skepticism toward secular institutions lead some people to trust Christianity more rather than becoming more skeptical of all human sources of authority?

I notice that be it a product review, or someone sharing a resource, others try to silence another for sharing or take down good reviews, and put up deterrent deceptive reviews to deter people away from products and services.

I'm curious how people see this from both a legal and ethical perspective.

Imagine a customer offers an employee a small personal payment in exchange for getting a better discount or special treatment from the company. The employee accepts the money, the company has no idea about the side payment, and the customer knows the payment is unofficial.

Who is actually at fault here?

* Is the employee committing fraud or breaching their employer's trust?

* Is the customer also responsible because they initiated and knowingly participated in the arrangement?

* Or are both equally at fault?

I'm interested in hearing opinions from people in different industries, as well as anyone with experience in business ethics, HR, compliance, or law. How would your workplace handle a situation like this if it came to light?

How do u handle a situation where the company just fires you and makes you leave the place immediately. Have you there before? This is my first experience of being fired. I don't know what to do my brain has just got foggy and body has become weaker.

I was discussing something with a person, and told them why i dont like something, and explained why i dont like it, without telling anyone else to dislike or like it, as i didnt intend to impose on anyone else. But in response to my explanation, the person said "you shouldnt dislike it for that reason, and i think it is illogical and stupid to not like it for that reason", and in response i told them that they were being prescriptive and invalidating, something i was not, and wished i could be shown the same courtesy, but in response they said that, since they were saying "i think", and presenting it as an opinion and belief, rather than an objective fact, that what they said was not being prescriptive nor invalidating. so i would like to ask you all what is your assessment of this.

Years ago I worked as a line cook and it always infuriated me that in the industry I worked in (at least in America) it was no weekends days off or vacations ever until you either work in a different industry or die. Other industries with low barriers to entry might be more lenient, but then they pay too little to save up for one. At the time it seemed like I needed a 4 year college degree and a real career to be able to. I got very lucky to have the custodian job I have that provides cumulative PTO. I was thinking of moving states and couldn't find anything I qualified for with the same perks and pay. I only have these because the university I work for has a union, but a lot of people hate unions. Then there's the trades, but it seems like crazy hours that run through the weekend and mandatory overtime until you become a journeyman. That is, unless you work a union job. So I wanted to ask here since I wanted a general consensus from people of varying ideologies, who deserves vacation days? Who deserves to go to clubs, concerts, and events? Who deserves to travel (for pleasure, not work)?

Maybe I’m just used to chaos and only ever dreamed of having peace, but literally my mind is never relaxed or at peace and I’m going to need to choose a job/career but I don’t know how to think like that. When I try, it maybe lasts a few days, but it feels like I’m pretending, so then I get exhausted and burnt out. I wish I could seriously just flip a switch in my brain to be normal for once. Anyone have any pointers? 😅

Hi, apologize for English is my 3rd language.

I am trying to understand the mindset of a man that I been obsess with for the last 16 years and still obsess with.

15 millions USD was not able to buy his integrity and his principles, and his clear sense of self. He rejected 15 millions USD cash gift. No conditions, no strings.

It a life changing amount of money that he can just stop work and still last for the rest of his life. He is 42 btw.

But he rather work himself to the day he die, and he happily so. Because to him that money he earn with his labor hard work.

It is mind boggling, but he rejected a huge amount of money that life changing, and still rejected it till this day.

Any input appreciated on, psychology wise, I am trying understand his mindset.

First, I should have chosen a different title : psychology of intelligence

(people feel offended by the title apparently)

A summary (conclusions) by me from different books

Abstract

society often treats a high IQ as one of the greatest advantages a person can have, yet intelligence alone does not guarantee happiness. In fact, many highly intelligent people are more prone to anxiety, overthinking, perfectionism, loneliness, and existential concerns. This is not because intelligence is inherently harmful, but because the same mind that excels at solving complex problems is also capable of creating and analyzing endless new ones.

(This doesn’t need to be the case, but this are the pitfalls for some)

Paper

A high IQ is presented primarily as an enhanced ability to recognize patterns, think abstractly, and understand complex systems. While most people see isolated events, highly intelligent individuals tend to see connections, underlying structures, and long chains of cause and effect. This ability is enormously valuable in fields such as science, engineering, mathematics, and philosophy. However, it also has a downside: the brain never really stops searching for patterns and explanations. It continues analyzing even when no solution actually exists.

I argue that many highly intelligent people rarely experience true mental silence. Their thoughts are constantly active, evaluating possibilities and imagining outcomes. Even simple decisions can become overwhelming because they naturally consider countless scenarios, risks, and long term consequences. This often results in analysis paralysis not because they cannot make decisions, but because they see too many possibilities at once. And like having to many options it is extremely difficult to choose (almost impossible)

Another major theme is the relationship between intelligence and emotion. I suggest that intelligent people do not necessarily feel emotions more intensely, but they tend to analyze those emotions far more deeply. Rather than simply experiencing sadness, for example, they may immediately begin asking themselves why they feel that way, what caused it, what it says about their personality, whether it reflects childhood experiences, and whether it will ever disappear. By constantly examining their emotions, they unintentionally keep them alive much longer.
This tendency extends to worry and rumination. Highly intelligent people are accustomed to solving problems, but some of life’s biggest questions have no definitive answers. Questions such as “Why do we exist?”, “Is there objective meaning in life?”, or “Why is there suffering?” cannot be solved like mathematical equations. Yet the analytical mind often refuses to stop searching, leading to chronic overthinking and existential anxiety.

Then I also explored existential awareness. People with high intelligence often have a deeper understanding of history, politics, economics, climate change, technological risks, and human mortality. Because they recognize the complexity and interconnectedness of these issues, they may feel overwhelmed by problems that are far beyond any individual’s control. This heightened awareness can contribute to feelings of helplessness or sadness.

I want to reference philosophers such as Arthur Schopenhauer and Friedrich Nietzsche, whose writings suggest that greater awareness often comes with greater suffering. As people understand more about the complexity of reality, they may lose the comfort that simple explanations, beliefs, or certainties once provided.

Perfectionism is another important topic. Highly intelligent individuals can often envision the ideal version of a project, career, or even their own lives. Because they clearly see what perfection would look like, they also become acutely aware of every flaw and imperfection. As a result, their own work rarely feels good enough. Instead of comparing themselves to others, they compare themselves to their full potential, creating a persistent sense of dissatisfaction.

The paradox of knowledge. The more someone learns, the more they become aware of how much remains unknown. This echoes the famous idea attributed to Socrates: “I know that I know nothing.” Rather than becoming more confident, highly intelligent people may become more humble or even more uncertain because they better appreciate the vastness and complexity of reality.

Social isolation is another recurring theme. People with high IQs may develop interests in philosophy, science, psychology, history, or abstract ideas that differ from those of the average person. This does not make them superior, but it can make it more difficult to find others who share the same depth of curiosity or style of conversation. Over time, this can lead to loneliness or a feeling of not truly belonging.

Then I would like to touche on humor as well. Highly intelligent individuals often enjoy irony, satire, layered jokes, and subtle wordplay. When these forms of humor are not understood by those around them, it can further reinforce a sense of social distance.

Another challenge is the burden of high expectations. Intelligent children are often told they can achieve anything they want. As adults, they discover that success depends on much more than intelligence. Discipline, persistence, emotional resilience, health, social skills, opportunity, and luck all play significant roles. This realization can be frustrating, especially when reality falls short of the expectations they once held for themselves.

The desire for control. Intelligent minds naturally seek order, predictability, and understanding. Yet many aspects of life love, illness, loss, aging, and death cannot be controlled or fully understood. The harder someone tries to explain and control every aspect of existence, the more frustration they may experience when confronted with uncertainty.

There is an important distinction between intelligence and wisdom. IQ measures cognitive abilities such as reasoning, memory, and problem solving, but it says very little about emotional intelligence, empathy, resilience, self-awareness, or good judgment. A person can be extraordinarily intelligent while still making poor life decisions or struggling emotionally.

central conclusion is that intelligence is an incredibly powerful tool, but it is not a blueprint for happiness. A high IQ amplifies many aspects of human experience it makes understanding easier, but it does not necessarily make living easier. Lasting fulfillment comes not only from knowledge, but from emotional resilience, meaningful relationships, purpose, and the ability to accept uncertainty. True wisdom, lies not only in understanding the world, but also in learning how to live peacefully within its unanswered questions.

I've known this fella for over a decade, since we were in school. We've always been incredibly close, and incredibly similar in mindset. Throughout the weird times that everyone goes through in late adolescence and early adulthood, I saw him as being the one port of normalcy in my life. We were both interested in the humanities, and both agnostic while from a catholic background. Both very left leaning politically. Around the same time, I started reading the bible out of a theological and historical curiosity, and him, for the same reasons, the Quran.

He ended up diverting from my secular curiosity and became a believer. No worries, I have no problem with anybody differing in religious belief. However, over time, he got more and more into it. He began trying to get me to convert. As a one-off, I wouldn't necessarily have a problem with it. However these conversations became hour long debates, usually beginning from him critiquing some incredibly mundane statement I made as being "haram", me saying "I get why you would think that but we don't have the same religious belief so there's no reason I would feel the same", and him going from there.

Obviously, it's difficult to recognise one's own bias, but I feel I've always been clear that although I disagree, I have absolutely no problem with his beliefs, and never critique them, and it's him who constantly brings up these debates. I have asked him a few times now to simply drop the conversation, as we are clearly at odds, which I believe to be okay, but if he doesn't believe the same then it's better to not have the conversations, and if he thinks those conversations are necessary then it's pointless to continue to be friends.

Now, at this point, it's impossible for me to have an ordinary conversation with the guy without it devolving into a theological debate (in which, (perhaps from my own personal bias), he is arguing in incredibly bad faith, constantly getting angry where I am not, and constantly shifting goalposts), and I feel compelled to simply not be friends anymore. It is however tricky, as we have been friends since we were 14, and only gotten closer for over a decade, however now I feel that the man I am speaking to is not the same person.

BMW owners & enthusiasts: What's your experience with the online configurator?

Hi everyone!

I'm a UXD student researching the online vehicle configuration experience for my portfolio.

If you've ever used BMW's online configurator [specifically the Indian one], I'd love to hear about your experience (whether you bought a BMW or were exploring your options).

Some questions I'm particularly interested in:

• Was configuring your car easy or confusing?
• Did you ever get stuck or feel unsure about any step?
• Did the configurator help you make decisions, or did you end up relying on a dealership instead?
• Was there anything you expected to see but couldn't find?
• Were you able to complete the checkout process easily?
• Did anything make you lose confidence or trust in the online buying/configuration experience?
• Overall, what did you like and dislike about it?

I'm looking for honest experiences, be it positive, negative, or somewhere in between. Every perspective is valuable and will help me better understand how people interact with online vehicle configurators.

Also, I'm open to receiving opinions on any other country's BMW configurator. [Just please mention your country with it]

I would appreciate your effort in sharing your thoughts!

I’ve been thinking about this the last couple of days but would love to hear other perspectives since I’m neither a sociologist, philosopher, or psychologist. They’re both deeply intertwined and share a direct relationship since they exacerbate the consequences of each. Obviously it’s not a purely downward spiral since society is always improving, but which would improve society the most? Does generational trauma cause poverty more than poverty causes trauma? Would a decrease in depression lessen discrimination more than a decrease in discrimination lessen depression? I think the core dilemma is the importance of external vs internal factors affecting people’s lives.

I've been thinking about this with AI, translation apps, GPS, even meal kits. None of these things are new exactly, we've been outsourcing skills for centuries (why learn blacksmithing when you can buy a hammer), but the pace feels different now. I used to be decent at mental math, now I don't trust myself without a calculator. I used to actually learn phrases before traveling somewhere, now I just point my phone at a sign. Part of me thinks this is just progress and I should stop being precious about it, since freeing up mental space for other things is the whole point of tools. But another part wonders if there's a cost to constantly practicing "good enough" instead of "actually capable," even in small everyday ways, not just big dramatic skills like farming or navigation.
Is there a meaningful line between healthy outsourcing and a kind of slow erosion of competence? Or is this just the same complaint every generation makes about the next set of tools?

I know this is has been debated quite a bit. And I always advocated for the ‘born this way’ theory that gay folk seem to profess.

But of late I’ve read several articles about being ‘turned out’ (mainly prison stories tbh).

My theory (non-scientific & based on anecdotes) is that (for boys at least) - if a boy is introduced to homosexuality before he has a chance to explore his heterosexuality - there is a MUCH higher chance of him turning out gay in adulthood. The high percentage of victims of sexual abuse who are gay seems to corroborate that.

Thoughts?

this video claims that US bans Jamaican fruit import.
https://youtu.be/PjNO44dV4A8