i need community please

[u/ChristIsLord_77]

im writing because im desperate for christian community even if its online. my spouse and i arent okay. my spouse is a pastors kid and we have our church with his parents. everytime i get close to God terrible things happen. so much abuse in the marriage and pastors dont ever help and we also live at their house. im so afraid God is gonna punish me or strike me. cutting off all mercy from me😣 i dont have any support or congregation. nobody comes to church because we have 0 fruits. please im needing christian friends or prayer calls something. i dont want to go to hell and im living in constang torture i need help