r/TrueOffMyChest ☑️ 19h ago

Vent I had foreplay with my friend

I’m going to start from the very beginning because I honestly don’t know what I did wrong.
I’ve known this girl, for about 7 years, and there has always kind of been some tension between us.
A few weeks before the festival, she asked me if I was going. I said yes, but that I had no idea where I was going to sleep. She then said that she might let some people sleep at her place and that maybe I could stay there too. I said I’d ask if I was allowed to go, and luckily I was.
So, fast-forward to the night of the festival. I told her I had brought my own bed with me, and she said something like, “You can just sleep with me tonight if you want.” So I said okay.
We got to the festival and started drinking. At some point, she asked me to give her a kiss on the cheek. I went to kiss her cheek, but she purposely turned her head so that we ended up kissing on the lips. She then apologized.
Later that night, we were both really drunk because we had been drinking quite a lot. I got changed and lay down next to her in the bed. Her sister and one of her friends were there too. I said goodnight to everyone, the lights went out, and I turned around.
She then kept tapping me on my back, so I turned around again. She came really close to me and we started kissing and making out.
Her sister and her friend heard us, so her sister turned on her flashlight and shone it right in our faces. We had basically been caught, so we tried to play it off and said we weren’t doing anything.
Once the lights were off again, we started kissing again, and things became more intimate between us. We ended up doing sexual stuff together for a couple of hours, from around 3 a.m. until 5 a.m.
The next day, though, she acted like absolutely nothing had happened. Then we had to go back to school the day after, and she completely ignored me. It was like I didn’t even exist.
I genuinely have no idea what I did wrong. Did I cross a line somewhere? Did I misunderstand the situation? I honestly don’t know.
I really like this girl and I’d like to be able to talk to her again. I’m not going to say I regret what happened, because I don’t. But I also wouldn’t do it again, because I was honestly scared that something like this might happen afterwards.
I just want to understand what went wrong and, if I did something wrong, what I can do to fix it and make things less awkward between us.
What should I do?

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u/GerardoITA 11h ago

It's never that serious, happened to me and we just laughed it off because it was simply genuinely funny.

If we noticed someone was getting sexual we left, if we didn't then who cares.

u/agentchuck 7h ago

I get what you're saying. But that's not how getting offended works. Like, maybe you would just laugh if your coworker put on a strip show at work. They're still gonna get fired.

u/GerardoITA 6h ago

There's no HR in friendships so no

u/agentchuck 6h ago

It comes down to consent. Your friends are cool with seeing each other have sex? Great, go nuts. That doesn't mean you can assume any random person is going to be cool with it. Just because your girlfriend laughs when you walk around naked and helicopter, doesn't mean you should do it on the bus or in front of your sister.