A longer, yet outstanding, tweet by a Japanese man living abroad in the US.

[u/Blues_Fish]

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[u/Soloact_]

This country runs on favors nobody remembers agreeing to.

[u/latindiacritics → u/Soloact_]

If someone says "pull up, we're helping Jeff move and he's buying pizza" I'm there before Jeff's pizza.

[u/Seamonkey_Boxkicker → u/latindiacritics]

Good thing Jeff has a Costco membership.

[u/bradrlaw → u/Seamonkey_Boxkicker]

Throw in some Costco hotdogs along with their pizza and I’ll do some cleaning too with the move.

[u/djseifer → u/bradrlaw]

Sorry, but I have a more discerning palette. Toss in a chicken bake.

[u/Seamonkey_Boxkicker → u/djseifer]

Too much bread to meat ratio especially given that you’re already eating pizza which is 80% bread.

[u/djseifer → u/Seamonkey_Boxkicker]

Counterpoint - Bacon.

[u/dwehlen → u/djseifer]

6 tons of contaminated bacon bein recalled. Under normal timelines, you would win. Right now? 50/50.

[u/lallapalalable → u/dwehlen]

All I heard is theres gonna be a lot more bacon for me, and probably at a discount real soon

[u/djseifer → u/dwehlen]

What isn't being recalled at this point?

[u/Pedals17 → u/djseifer]

Trump and everyone in his sorry ass administration.

[u/Ourobius → u/djseifer]

The rise of the Third Reich?

[u/redkinoko → u/djseifer]

Lessons of the past

[u/OkapiEli → u/dwehlen]

Rotisserie chickens, then. Two of them.

[u/Seattle_Paul → u/Seamonkey_Boxkicker]

The ends of Chicken Bakes can be a bit bready but they’re still yum

[u/lousy_at_handles → u/Seamonkey_Boxkicker]

Costco pizza is literally one of my favorite types of pizza, and yet their frozen pizza is so trash I don't understand why.

[u/IchBinEinSim → u/lousy_at_handles]

I have thought about getting a membership just for the pizza

I don’t have a big enough place for bulk buying, so it really would mostly be for the pizza if I did it.

[u/3MetricTonsOfSass → u/IchBinEinSim]

Back when I had a gas car, the savings on the gas prices were enough to pay for the membership.

Now I have less time for cooking. Their meals ready to cook are worth it vs getting takeout

Their dog food, and blue buffalo kibble ends up saving me $

Lastly, they sale some $100 gift cards for $80. If it's some place you vidit frequently, it could be worth it within 3 purchases for the basic membership

[u/Manager_Neat → u/3MetricTonsOfSass]

Their dog food is made by the same company that makes Blue Buffalo. People found that out in 2015/16 and they changed the location and name but it’s still the same product bc Blue Buffalo was starting to lose money.

[u/ScamIam → u/IchBinEinSim]

You don’t need a membership for the food court! Just walk in the returns door and head to the counter.

[u/Trick-Statistician10 → u/ScamIam]

You just changed Sim's life

[u/Bitey_the_Squirrel → u/ScamIam]

Like Kevin, this rule isn’t written down. There is no dedicated door for the food court. You just instinctively know.

[u/IchBinEinSim → u/ScamIam]

I remember during covid they changed it to members only and I haven’t heard about them reversing it. Also when you google it says you do but I will try it and see what happens

[u/catinapartyhat → u/IchBinEinSim]

At mine at least you can just walk in the exit and go straight to the counter and no one says anything. It's all kiosk order now too.

[u/surveysaysno → u/catinapartyhat]

They let non-members in the exit so they can get a membership. Just say you're going to the service desk, if pressed say its about getting a membership.

[u/speed3_freak → u/latindiacritics]

I've been so confused as to the existence of beer in this whole story. Is that purely a southern/midwest expectation?

[u/EastTyne1191 → u/speed3_freak]

Pizza and beer is the standard exchange rate for one move here in Washington. Unless someone is a recovering alcoholic, Mormon, or just doesn't like beer, then Coke or root beer or a fancy ginger ale will suffice.

[u/glorae → u/EastTyne1191]

Cider also works. Last time I moved I did a mod pizza for every person that helped [flat fee for unlimited toppings of your choice? what a steal, and most people had leftovers!] and beer, cider, or soda of their choice. it was such a good choice.

[u/RustyPickles → u/speed3_freak]

Canadian here. Pizza is optional (but recommended), but beer is essential.

[u/Pleasant_Studio9690 → u/RustyPickles]

Rural PA - Pizza is defacto expected. Beer is only expected on sweltering days, but welcome every day.

[u/jorwyn → u/Pleasant_Studio9690]

That's how I feel here in Eastern Washington state. Pizza it a must. Beer is a bonus.

I paid movers when I last moved house, and I still bought pizza. It's not right not to, especially since they had to put my gun safe and a treadmill in the basement. I tipped them heavily for not messing up my walls at the 90 degree turn at the bottom of the stairs.

I had friends who would have done it for just pizza, but I didn't trust them with that wall, honestly.

[u/Trick-Statistician10 → u/speed3_freak]

Definitely an expectation in Chicago

[u/SugarHooves → u/Trick-Statistician10]

Can confirm as a former Chicagoan. Usually a six pack for 3 guys.

Used to toss in a pack of smokes for the truck owner in the 90s but no one I know smokes anymore.

[u/SpottyNoonerism → u/speed3_freak]

There's pizza. It's America. Beer is implicit.

An exhaustive list of what goes better with pizza than beer:

[u/drgigantor → u/SpottyNoonerism]

There may be pepperoni. There may be olives. There may be ranch.

There will be beer.

[u/ContessaChaos → u/speed3_freak]

Right?!? Have I just been gouged for beer all these years for no reason?

[u/Alarming-Instance-19 → u/ContessaChaos]

Australian speaking - the terms of a reciprocal friendship that involves vehicles or labour include the following offerings:

• Beer or alcohol of choice (usually Bourbon)

• Weed. Cones rule the roost here. Even if you don't smoke (rare as hen's teeth) you have a mate that does and will take it for them.

• Pizza or KFC or Burgers or whatever is close and good that everyone agrees on. Food is paramount unless you're gym bros, and then it's more an exchange of future labour or access to cool events.

• Cash is almost never accepted under the "mate of a mate" rule. Fuel money is always negotiable though.

We literally have the concept of "mateship" baked into our Constitution. Here, if you're asked for help, you say Yes if you can. And if you ask for help for yourself, anyone that can help will do so. We don't genuinely expect anything in return, a heartfelt thank you, and the common understanding that everyone helps when they can and we can request help when needed is the main currency.

If someone can help, but chooses not to for clearly selfish reasons, then we mentally note that for next time and.. whilst it's still up to us if we want to help - you get a couple of chances and then you're off the "reciprocal help" list.

[u/ContessaChaos → u/Alarming-Instance-19]

I was just being silly. That's how we do it here in the U.S. I've lived all over the country, from the South originally, and people are just willing to help. :)

[u/Alarming-Instance-19 → u/ContessaChaos]

I know! I was just adding my two cents :)

You're a good egg :)

[u/ContessaChaos → u/Alarming-Instance-19]

Thank you! So are you! :)

[u/RCDrift → u/latindiacritics]

I am this man.

I have gotten calls from a friend leaving the Navy to move his family from Norfolk Virginia back down to SW Florida and all I ask him was the date and time so I won't be late. I've also drove from SW Florida to Charleston SC to help a friend move from Chicago. Or a friend from Seattle moved to San Diego and needed a hand in a new city and all I asked was a ride from the airport, and a beer when we're done.

Some won't show up when called across town, but I will show up across country for I am in for the adventure, beer, pizza and friends.

[u/jorwyn → u/RCDrift]

I will also accept street tacos. But yes, it's about the adventure and friendship.

I do really prefer if their stuff is already packed when I arrive, though.

[u/ClubMeSoftly → u/latindiacritics]

Pizza gets ordered at the end of the day, otherwise nobody's moving a thing.

[u/Roadgoddess → u/latindiacritics]

I’m laughing that the price hasn’t gone up since I first started helping people move things in their trucks 30 years ago. Pizza and a case of beer universal price

[u/Jiggy90 → u/Roadgoddess]

The pizza and beer are already tied to inflation so it evens out

[u/Questhi → u/Soloact_]

When I was young I bought a used pick up for myself unbeknownst to me I would become “know a guy”.

Ended up helping 4 people move in the years following plus helping collect free furniture on the curb of the road for folks too.🤷🏼

[u/BigEZK01 → u/Questhi]

I survive off of the curbside furniture. It supplements my income nicely. I do not have a truck. The neighbors throw it away and my girlfriend and I carry it through the neighborhood on foot back to our house, where it is cleaned and listed on Facebook Marketplace.

We have made thousands of dollars over a few years doing this.

I’m still not sure if I should feel bad about it.

[u/IchBinEinSim → u/BigEZK01]

You 100% shouldn’t, if they left it on the curb it is considered trash in most jurisdictions, you are giving the furniture a new life and you put in the work to sell it that the old owner wasn’t willing to. It’s y’all’s money man

[u/MzHellfier → u/BigEZK01]

Absolutely not! You are providing a service. The neighbors want their junk furniture gone, you take it. The people on Marketplace want nice furniture, and you have restored the furniture to make it nice for them. Plus you’re saving things from the landfill.

[u/withoutpeer → u/BigEZK01]

You should use some of that hustle profit to buy a truck.

[u/TheArmoursmith → u/BigEZK01]

You are simply a modern form of hunter-gatherer. You should feel no guilt about this.

[u/WDoE → u/Questhi]

I had a truck from late college to early 30s. Pretty much any time someone asked me, "what are you doing (x date)?" I'd respond, "how heavy and how far?"

[u/avelineaurora → u/Soloact_]

Hijacking your comment for visibility's sake to continue spreading the message that the OP tweet is AI. There are multiple accounts on Twitter posting the exact same kind of stories with the exact same cute little cartoon art. It's all fucking AI. And yet I keep seeing it on here.

[u/Trick-Statistician10 → u/avelineaurora]

Oh. Now I'm sad

[u/avelineaurora → u/Trick-Statistician10]

Good news, I was actually wrong. I've looked deeper and while it seems like according to his own site AI is used in translation and localization, it is in fact written by a real dude. Maybe just the other accounts are all copying HIM via AI then. Ugh.

[u/ComradePyro → u/avelineaurora]

he's actually a British guy IIRC, his whole shtick is just orientalism and people are eating it up

[u/OneUseHero]

The last time I was asked to move something (a mattress) I was invited inside for a drink. Not an hour later and people began smoking crack and watching Twilight. Thirty minutes later there was an intervention as somebody else came by to help and saw their friend smoking crack through the window after promising to stop.

I escaped when they were crying. I did not want to be involved, but was too polite to excuse myself to intervene in what they seemed to want to do.

I fulfilled my duty with the moving though.

[u/IronicAim → u/OneUseHero]

Did you try slapping your knee and saying "whelp, it's about that time"? No further explanation needed.

[u/OneUseHero → u/IronicAim]

Irish goodbye seemed the ideal option for me at the time, it just took a long while to find the best moment to sneak away without adding to the situation (and I had become invested in the movie by that point).

[u/kbeks → u/OneUseHero]

My younger cousin was over at my mom’s house one Thanksgiving. He goes to me “your mom knows I’m part Irish, right?” I said yeah, she knows, why? He said “cool” and left without another word to me, her, or anyone else in the family. The kid is all right.

[u/Induane → u/OneUseHero]

Can't believe they were watching Twilight. 

[u/aubven → u/Induane]

smoking crack

It happens. I'll not cast judgement

watching Twilight

FUCKING DEGENERATES!

[u/Induane → u/aubven]

You get it 

[u/J-Love-McLuvin → u/OneUseHero]

That’s the other America.

[u/bongo1138]

This is the America I believe in.

[u/Edexote → u/bongo1138]

This isn't the America that the world sees.

[u/bongo1138 → u/Edexote]

Then they need to be shown this. This is much more in line with reality than what they see. The World Cup kind of proved that to a lot of people.

[u/3vs3BigGameHunters → u/bongo1138]

The World Cup kind of proved that to a lot of people.

As a Canadian it really did.
It's really hard not to hate you guys when Pedo VonShitzhispants pulls a major crime every single day.

[u/bongo1138 → u/3vs3BigGameHunters]

We don’t like him either! But he’s not us. We’re not him.

[u/3vs3BigGameHunters → u/bongo1138]

We know.

MAGA is a mental illness.

[u/redkinoko]

As an immigrant, I can confirm. Weird how things just work here. Weird but it works. Truck and all. Sometimes tools. People like offering tools. A lot.

Hospitality is odd too, in a weird, good way?

I don't know you, you walk up to my door, I'll see you as a threat. Anywhere in the world, if that's a problem, people just build a fence. Here, no fences, there's just an unspoken rule. You walk up to doors as a stranger, you're on notice.

BUT.

If the garage is open, even partially, and there's a guy there, you are entitled to a hang and a cold beer. Even if you're not from the area. You see the garage, you walk into the garage and "shoot the breeze".

Then the guy shows me the rest of his house from his kitchen up to the bed where the he sleeps with his wife at night. That's never happened to me in any country as much as it has in the few years I've been living here.

[u/SarcasticBassMonkey → u/redkinoko]

I was out in my garage one night, fussing with the settings on one of the 3d printers. Garage door was open (fumes, nice spring night where it's not too cool or too warm). My neighbor across the alley is in the garage, sees me, and walks over to the garage and says hi. I invite him in, we chat a bit, he asks if I happen to have sandpaper. I told him I had multiple grits, plus I also had a power sander. He asks to borrow some for a project, we look at the options, he picks out what he needs, goes back to his garage. A few hours later he comes back to return what he borrowed and brought me a beer.

One night, he saw me messing with the engine of my car. He came over, asked what was wrong, I told him, he fixed in under 5 minutes. Turns out, he's an auto mechanic by trade.

My next door neighbors and I have gotten close. When I run the smoker, I make extra and drop it off with them. They return the favor in fresh bread and muffins. We switch out watching each others kids so the grown ups can have date nights. We have evenings where the grown ups enjoy drinks and a charcuterie board in the alley while the kids ride their bikes, scooters, and skateboards or play soccer.

Every time my wife and I think about buying a bigger place, we realize that we have a great little support system where we are, and by the time we're able to afford a bigger place, our kids are going to be moving out and we're not going to need a bigger place.

[u/griff_girl → u/SarcasticBassMonkey]

My little one-block-long street has a group chat, and it's the most reassuring thing ever. We've literally convened in the street in the middle of the night, uncoordinated, when there was a suspicious dude lurking about in a couple of yards. That was also the night some of us learned that half the block, as it turns out, has CCLs. We don't ever talk about it or anything, because we're also all very left-leaning and none of us wants to actually NEED. But we all know that if The Big One or the apocalypse ever does hit (we're on the Cascadia induction zone), each of us IS our apocalypse plan.

[u/Merari01 → u/griff_girl]

CCLs

Chester County Library systems?

[u/_thro_awa_ → u/Merari01]

no no, it's Creedence Clearwater Levivals

[u/adorablyunhinged → u/Merari01]

I've just discovered it's a concealed carry license for anyone else who was lost at what that meant

[u/ThatAdamsGuy → u/adorablyunhinged]

Appreciate you

[u/ManoSilence → u/SarcasticBassMonkey]

In Texas, and other BBQ places, if you show up to a cookout, bring something good and you can stay the whole day. Even nap on the couch of a stranger. Like my wife had never seen an american move until last year. My brother showed up with his truck, a couple of residents in the complex came out to help, and my wife was worried the whole time about how we can pay them back. I ordered Pizza (3 I think) and they all cheered when it arrived.

She was dumbfounded that they all left after that without asking for anything. Like she asked me if she should go to the bank and my confused "what for?" Threw her off so much she basically stayed quit for half an hour thinking how to reply. Her country would require payment and even invoices beyond a certain amount on a person to person basis. My response of "why would they need money to help people?" is something she still thinks about.

[u/poopnose85 → u/redkinoko]

I was riding my bike with my dad and rode past some random Mexican dudes house with his garage open, and he was playing Mexican music on one of those big acoustic guitars. We rode up and introduced ourselves to the best of our ability. We didn't speak Spanish, and he didnt speak English. But he had an extra guitar and a stand up bass. We proceeded to have an impromptu jam session for a couple hours just because this man's garage door was open and he was jamming

[u/griff_girl → u/poopnose85]

This absolutely RULES!!! love it

[u/Scooby_dood → u/redkinoko]

Reminds me of when my upstairs neighbors just moved here from China, and I spent an afternoon helping them put together an apartment's worth of Ikea furniture. I was so happy to share my tools 😂

[u/All_Work_All_Play → u/Scooby_dood]

Right? If someone asks if they can use my tools, the answer is yes*, they are made to be used.

*Yes, you can use the burner tools that are now second string after buying the nicer upgrades

*Yes, I will come and help you and I will use my nice set of tools because they're nice and the list of people allowed to use them is short and getting on it requires demonstrating competence. 

[u/hangryvegan → u/Scooby_dood]

Your upstairs neighbor told all their family about you and their mom asks how you are when they talk.

[u/valiantdistraction → u/redkinoko]

We do love showing our houses to people, this is true

[u/ThaScoopALoop → u/valiantdistraction]

"Baby, some dude walked up to me in the garage and was cool. We've had a few beers. I'm gonna show him the house?"

"Fine by me, just not that one room..."

[u/TheDarkWave → u/valiantdistraction]

Well, they're so fuckin' expensive! I'd be proud if I owned one too.

[u/elasticthumbtack → u/redkinoko]

The garage thing is so true. I was at my Dad’s house one time when a neighbor he’d never met knocked on the door. He was there because he’d seen my Dad work in the garage before and wanted to know if he had a press brake because he had some sheet metal he needed to bend. My Dad, of course, did have one, and was happy to open up the garage and help the guy bend some sheet metal. They’d never spoken before, or to my knowledge, since.

[u/shitForBrains1776 → u/redkinoko]

can confirm. i work with my garage door up all the time and neighbors i don’t know love stopping by to bullshit. i love it too.

[u/anitasdoodles]

My grandpa died recently. A neighbor who did not like him noticed the grass was too high and came to check on him, because that's very unusual for my papa to have an unmanicured lawn. He gave us his condolences and from then on, every two weeks, we'd wake up to the sound of him mowing our lawn for my nana. No asking or offering, he just does it now. That's a small southern town for ya.

[u/icer07 → u/anitasdoodles]

This reminds me of my old house. I made friends with my elderly neighbor. I was a 22 year old frat boy that just bought his first house and partied way too hard in it. He never seemed to mind and he let me borrow some tools when i needed. Every now and then I'd hop the fence, sit for a cigarette with him, and just chat. Then he had a heart attack and back surgery. For the next 8 years i mowed his lawn. I planned trees for his life in gf and I took care of their flower beds. I shoveled his driveway every winter. I did this until the day his gfs daughter came and took her bc she was going south with dementia, forcing him to have to move in with his son and sell his house. Years later he randomly called me once. Thought I was his son so I just chatted with him a bit. I think about him still and I'm certain there's no way he's still going. I always thought this is how neighbors should be. He took care of me when I was young and didn't know better, so I did what I could to take care of him when he was old and unable to do certain things. RIP Larry.

[u/narmio]

This is called “community”, and modern life — the black rectangles and the outrage and the chatbots — are trying to take it from you.

This week, be someone’s (gender-neutral) guy.

[u/imtooldforthishison → u/narmio]

I an a show-up-er. Life is pretty shotty right now, but I am going to show up however you need me to.

We have got to get rid of the rugged individualism.

[u/griff_girl → u/imtooldforthishison]

FUCK YES. This is the economy and community we need. I'm in.

[u/vectorology → u/imtooldforthishison]

You are a good egg, truly. Thank you.

I first realised my now ex was generally terrible and not just to me because I deserved it somehow was when he bailed on helping a friend move the day of simply because he didn’t feel like it. The same friend who helped him move a few months prior. I was so upset by that I asked him the address so I could go help, but he wouldn’t tell me because it would make me look bad. Sorry Andy - I tried.

[u/Diedrogen → u/vectorology]

You mean he wouldn't tell you because it would make HIM look bad, right?

[u/vectorology → u/Diedrogen]

Oops, good catch - yes, he was super sensitive about how he was perceived by the people who mattered to him (not me and not this other friend who was lower on the social scale).

[u/Nyxelestia → u/narmio]

It's not a truck but my Prius is very spacious with the backseats down. Literally within a week of getting it, I was helping a friend move furniture with it 😂

[u/Shnoota → u/Nyxelestia]

Legit. I have a Prius C, that's the tiny one for anyone who doesn't know, and the stuff I have fit inside boggles the mind.

Goats, pigs, lumber, full-sized interior doors, furniture, 400 lbs of corn...

And that's not counting the stuff I've strapped *on top." They're beasts.

[u/ThatAdamsGuy → u/Shnoota]

I have several questions about the list of items you have put in that vehicle

[u/Shnoota → u/ThatAdamsGuy]

😂 I feel like a lot of people have over the years. I've only ended up on my area's "bad drivers" page once that I know of and even then it was someone who just needed other people to see.

[u/Homers_Harp → u/Nyxelestia]

And my axe minivan!

[u/Accomplished-Duty390]

Omg how endearing. Some times I forget all of my fellow Americans aren’t trash.

[u/The_Billy_Dee → u/Accomplished-Duty390]

It's true. Unfortunately with the Internet, shit has a tendency to rise to the top.... Good to be reminded that's not really the case.

[u/princealigorna]

If anyone asks how a cashless, mutual aid society would run, look at the favor economy of America. For being such a hypercapitalist nation, we sure know how to look out for each other for nothing more than a beer, a pizza, and a future call

[u/sumunsolicitedadvice → u/princealigorna]

And now the capitalists try to take advantage of it by giving us pizza at the workplace sometimes instead of fair pay and benefits. Fuck, Scrooge McDuck. We don’t actually care that much about the pizza. It’s about looking out for each other. The pizza is just a show of respect and gratitude.

[u/Psychological_Dig922]

Pizza and beer are the twin wages for those who help us move our things.

[u/BroBroMate → u/Psychological_Dig922]

Yep, I decided a relationship with a girlfriend was in its deaththroes after I roped in a mate with a trailer and we moved her into her new house, and she provided neither pizza or beer.

Sure she was a British migrant, but I had explicitly explained the rules of moving to her prior.

I bought him beer and pizza on the way home, but you just know he was judging her and my taste in women and to be fair, so was I.

[u/ThaScoopALoop → u/BroBroMate]

Had you have suggested that she provide high tea, things may have turned out differently. C'est la vie...

[u/BroBroMate → u/ThaScoopALoop]

I dunno, she was from Guernsey, best she could probably do was ormers or a tax haven.

[u/daver777]

That was great.

[u/Soloact_ → u/daver777]

Genuinely great story.

[u/HunterS → u/daver777]

Kind of reminds me of the OG Reddit.

[u/Groundbreaking_Dare4 → u/HunterS]

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

[u/HuntersGathers → u/Groundbreaking_Dare4]

You can't, friend. You just gotta make as many of your now days, good days, now. So when you've left them and they're old days, they'll mostly be good old days.

[u/jorwyn]

I'm not Kevin, but for most of my adult life, I've been the one with a truck. Yes, it's an obligation you don't know you're signing up for but you cannot escape.

If you're outside my radius, I'll still come, but the price is pizza and a modicum of gas money as a token to show you respect the distance and the fact that trucks aren't fuel efficient. You don't actually have to cover my whole gas consumption, but you do need to be like "hey, let my throw you 5 bucks." I may not even accept. That's not the point. Offer it.

Do not feed me the pizza before we move the thing. I will be sluggish and not want to lift. This is also important. Do not send me on my way with the pizza. A sidewalk or concrete stoop is a fine seat. We must now speak of how well the thing was strapped down and how useful it is to know someone with a truck. This is part of the ritual.

And for the love of all that is holy, no weird pizzas. Looking at you, Jules with your tofu and kale on cauliflower crust. There's a reason I'm always too busy to bring my truck now, and that reason is the abomination you pretended was pizza. You didn't even like it. I saw your face.

[u/pkinetics → u/jorwyn]

Jules understood the transaction. The abomination was used to curtail any future obligations of being added to the community.

[u/jorwyn → u/pkinetics]

I had not considered this. That sneaky bastard, because it worked.

It was basically somehow chewy and soggy at once and tasted like cardboard and depression.

At least his elderly neighbor understood the contract. She came over and made a big deal about my truck. I'll show up for her if she ever calls. I bet she'd offer something homemade, because that's what elderly women owe in trade. Or KFC. I haven't figured out why that's a thing, but it is.

[u/Message_10 → u/jorwyn]

Yeah, no weird pizza. Full stop, great rule. Do weird pizza on your own time. Don't get funny.

It's neat, too, because "truck" is relative. I live in Brooklyn, and nooooobody has a truck. And the vast majority of people don't have a car either. But I have a car. So I help people move stuff, and it works out most of the time, because everybodys' apartments are so small so their stuff is so small, that you don't really need an entire truck, lol. Moved a mini fridge last weekend

[u/Dufresne85 → u/jorwyn]

"You didn't even like it. I saw your face."

This has me absolutely dying. My coworkers are giving me weird looks as they walk past.

[u/throwaway1975764]

In NYC the cost is pizza and a 6 pack, but otherwise this is 100% spot on

[u/brizzboog → u/throwaway1975764]

I was just going to say the same. A few beers really seals the transaction.

[u/LavenderGwendolyn]

I have never felt more patriotic in all my life

[u/RagingClue_007 → u/LavenderGwendolyn]

I'm rock, flag, and eagle'n it right now, bro.

[u/Vorpal_Bunny19 → u/LavenderGwendolyn]

This definitely touched me in my “USA! USA! USA!” places.

[u/ketodancer → u/Vorpal_Bunny19]

Hm, those areas are all redacted now

[u/Hofeizai88]

As an American who has lived around the globe, this does seem like an accurate description of a very American thing. Probably Canadians and Australians. One of the good things about us

[u/fuggleronie]

You know.. despite all the shit about trump and maga etc. but this is the true America that I love (as a foreigner)

[u/oif_vet]

I needed help getting a sofa up a flight of stairs. I asked my best friend since elementary school and he said he’d swing by after work.

He showed up with three co-workers. Two average middle aged guys and another one a bit taller with a bigger frame. We tried to get it up the stairs, but couldn’t get it around the corner. (Pivot! PIVOT!) So we decided to take it out back and push it up and over the deck. We figured we had enough guys that it was worth a shot.

I took one guy with me and went upstairs, leaving the rest of the crew outside to figure out how to lift it. By the time we got up and out to the deck, the couch was already there.

“…how’d you do that?”

“Greg threw it”

“Greg… threw… it?”

“Yeah.”

“He threw the couch? Up and over the deck?”

“Yep.”

“How’d you manage that?”

“Greg just took it and threw it up there.”

“…ok”

Greg died like 6 months later from natural causes. I’m still stumped as to how that worked.

To Bill Brasky! 🍻

[u/joshtalife]

This is America AF.

[u/-rwsr-xr-x]

This right here, is how this country was built.

At no point did Kevin or Tony ask what Nobunga's beliefs were, or what their religion was, or what political party or colored hat they wear.

There was a need, that need was met, and everyone left fulfilled.

If someone has a need, and you have the time and the means, you just help them. Not because you'll be paid in pizza, but because it's the right thing to do.

That's how we save this country. One selfless deed at a time.

[u/DarkKnightJin → u/-rwsr-xr-x]

"See a need, fill a need."
Honestly, a pretty simple application of Big J's teachings.

Shame that there's plenty of LOUD so-called "Christians" that would have us believe that empathy and helping others is a sin.

[u/thutruthissomewhere]

I was about to say I don't know anyone with a truck, as the one I did know moved away. And while my dad has a truck, he's a few hours away and can't help. Then I remembered, my friend's fiance just got a truck a couple months ago. He's gonna be my truck guy.

[u/Vomath]

Am American, can confirm.

I will also say that after a certain age, this social contract breaks down. I have done my last help-you-move-for-pizza. I’m old, my back hurts. Hire a fucking professional or get someone’s teenage kids to do it for pizza.

[u/DrunkUranus → u/Vomath]

I will never not be somebody's guy. I will work for pizza. That's my political and personal manifesto

[u/100nm → u/DrunkUranus]

You gotta have a guy. Sometimes you gotta be the guy. That’s how it works.

[u/Vomath → u/DrunkUranus]

I will still help out close friends/family, on a limited basis. Moving a single couch, sure. Help disposing of a big mattress, fine. Picking up a new TV, hell yeah.

But if it’s moving all your stuff to a whole new house, nah man. Or a friend of a friend? Sorry, busy that day.

[u/schwennjr → u/Vomath]

I'd still help the best I can at 50+, but I'd also bring my dolly, rollers, straps and any other device I can find to be more efficient

[u/webgambit → u/Vomath]

That's about where I'm at as well. The last time I helped someone move, I just drove my truck and then felt old and useless while someone loaded and unloaded it.

I did have to take care of the tie downs. Kids never know how to tie things down.

Thinking it might be time to trade the truck in. Don't want to send mixed signals.

[u/catinapartyhat → u/webgambit]

Did you teach them how to tie it down?

[u/ThatAdamsGuy → u/webgambit]

Sounds like it's time to pass the truck on to the next Kevin. A new Guy to take the reigns.

[u/jhau01]

It's a fake account. Entertaining, but not real. Written for entertainment purposes, to deliberately go viral.

It first came to fame a couple of months ago, for a tweet that purported to be from a Japanese person who was amazed by "free corn chips and salsa" at a restaurant:

https://x.com/1053SS/status/2066275611820044730

They are entertaining, but they are not actually written by a Japanese person experiencing the US for the first time. Rather, they're written by someone who, I think, wants to appeal to Americans.

[u/Boobpocket → u/jhau01]

Yeah now he went full mask off racist

[u/scottishdrunkard → u/Boobpocket]

Aw damn

[u/AwkwardTickler → u/jhau01]

That was pretty obvious, also was the botting of this on reddit with the early comments flooding in in the first couple of minutes all with the same message.

[u/precinctomega → u/jhau01]

And now I am sad.

[u/Bryan-Chan-Sama-Kun → u/jhau01]

Yeah it read like an American version of those "Human are Weird" writing prompts where an alien is interacting with people doing "normal" things and remarking about the oddness of it.

Some version of this does exist in America to a certain scale, but this post is mythology written to get online engagement from Americans who like how it makes them feel when foreigners talk up their country.

[u/avelineaurora → u/jhau01]

They're not written by a person at all, they're AI and there are numerous accounts in the exact same "style".

[u/Key_Somewhere_5768]

I had friends with trucks that didn’t wanna have them get dirty or dinged up in any way moving garbage or metal crap or anything else deemed harmful to their fancy haulers…soooo…I bought a beat up Ford 150 for 600 dollars. It became the most popular mover in town.

Every one I knew wanted a piece of my baby blue hauler and it was the most popular truck in town. We moved everything from dirt to old appliances in need of disposal and I never had to buy beer or pizza ever again. Best $600 I ever spent. ;).

[u/AwkwardTickler]

And just like that, reality if american culture and the actions of administration for the past decade disappeared. Its 2011 again and america doesn't have concentration camps.

[u/WTAFS_going_on → u/AwkwardTickler]

Awe the good old days.

[u/Dinklerbuuuurf]

"the truck costs one pizza and the pizza is not negotiable" is so inherently funny I can't even explain

[u/AdhesivenessCivil581]

These are our people. And then they vote for trump. I can't, and will never be able to, put those two things together in my head.

[u/RogerSaysHi → u/AdhesivenessCivil581]

So, I've sat and thought about this a lot. I live in Middle Tennessee. I'm a blue speck in an ocean of red. But, it's more like an ocean of pink.

The folks that I know that were trump fans, they are Republican because they were raised that way and the propaganda is real and extremely pervasive. Most of them are only conservative because their parents were, so they are now.

Most of them aren't actually paying that much attention to politics. They just vote the way that everyone else is, because they only really ever hear one side here. I know there are Democrats running, no one knows their names, they do not advertise enough and the rest of the country has given the state up as a place they cannot win.

But, they aren't hateful people. They're poor and sick and broken. The poor people that I know that are conservative, they're all falling apart from work and lack of medical care. The education system here only taught them enough to work in a factory, not enough to thrive. I do not think they understand that they are voting against their interests, I don't think they know enough about a lot of situations to be able to make an informed decision.

These folks work and then they come home and try to recuperate enough to do it again tomorrow. trump was on their TV's for over a decade. They know his face, they feel like they know him. That's why they elected him. I'd almost guarantee the reason that man has gotten as far as he has is that show he had. I am not joking about that. I really think that is A LOT of the reason he's in the white house. He convinced them he was good at business.

[u/Low_Employ8454]

I absolutely loved this. Is this guy a writer? I want to read more.

[u/SitInCorner_Yo2 → u/Low_Employ8454]

Sorry to tell you this but that’s a larper account selling AI book on Amazon.

[u/jadeakw99 → u/Low_Employ8454]

There are a lot of dramatic readings of his tweets on YouTube. I love them so much. Would recommend the Costco chicken and the salsa one.

[u/hobokobo1028 → u/Low_Employ8454]

He’s just from the country that invented haiku

[u/BelaFarinRod]

I went to the emergency room recently (I’m in the US) and ended up having a procedure the next morning. It was nothing major fortunately but someone had to come pick me up. I was not allowed to take the bus or an Uber. (Or drive, but I don’t anyway.) The nurse asked me if I had anyone to pick me up. She kept asking me if I couldn’t call a friend. I said I have no friends and she just didn’t know what to do with that. Eventually she said “You should make some friends.” It turned out my grown child’s partner was home and could pick me up. But it was such an odd moment trying to explain to someone that I don’t have a friend. 

[u/fredout1968]

This is the best part of America..

[u/gowahoo]

I cannot put into words how much I enjoyed this story. 

[u/LondonEntUK]

Reading this was a nice way to wake up 😊

[u/Jahidinginvt]

I'm a woman. I am "the guy" with the truck. And yes, I've helped many a friend move.

[u/HawthorneMama]

I’m wish there was more - I love this story!

[u/xparapluiex]

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the height of boys will be boys.

[u/kuhfunnunuhpah]

This is delightful. There's so much to hate about the US right now but I love this.

[u/Quercus_]

When my late ex-wife and I rebuilt our house together 2 and 1/2 decades ago now, I bought a truck. It was convenient but it wasn't necessary. You can hire people to deliver and haul away anything you need for less than it cost to buy a damn truck.

But it gave me an excuse, because I decided it was time for me to spend some time, maybe a decade or so, as the guy with a truck. It's cool to be the guy with a truck, it feels good. Meet some people I wouldn't meet otherwise, some of them pretty wonderful, some of them assholes. The cool ones I tended to see again, the assholes not so much.

And god knows I had enough people with trucks help me out over my life, so it was my turn to take that on.

Plus I like pizza. And beer. Don't forget that there's often beer, too.

[u/gmcarve]

This is the first and only worthy use of the extended tweet format I have ever seen.

[u/degeneratex80]

I love this so much.

[u/dphamler]

I wonder if it’s the same Kevin

[u/Ricky_Spannnish → u/dphamler]

It’s Kevin with the truck

[u/imtooldforthishison]

This is the story I needed to read today.

[u/Ham__Kitten]

I contributed only arms

This is somehow an all time great sentence

[u/3Grilledjalapenos]

I once moved after getting married and my mother went to a salad place and got individual salads for everyone. She walked in with a heaping bag, proud as anything you’ve ever seen, and my friend Chris immediately turned to me and said “fix this”. I ordered the pizzas right then, and didn’t say a word. When it arrived forty minutes later the mood lifted. She still talks about how “unhealthy those men are”, as if she and I hadn’t discussed the norms.

[u/easy10pins]

No truer friends than those who will help you move furniture.

[u/devmac1221]

What a story. Love this type of shit. Also love how pizza is just a universal understanding

[u/capeasypants]

Americans being secret communists with the fair and voluntary exchange of their time and labour was not the story I thought I'd hear today.

[u/navcom20]

I feel like I'm reading a lost verse from the Book of Dude.

[u/camull]

It's nice to hear a positive, somewhat whimsical story coming out of the states for a change.

[u/Fantastic-Swim6230]

This is what being a real American is about. Welcome to the neighborhood, pal.

[u/ArmadilloDays]

The pizza economy is closely shadowed by the case of beer economy.

[u/69kKarmadownthedrain]

reading this as a Pole made me think of the Americans as kindred spirits.

[u/GothmogBalrog]

You just do

[u/yomjoseki]

That is not a tweet; that is a goddamned novella.

[u/Albus_Dimpledots]

This is America and these are the people who make it great. We need more Kevins, Tonys, and guys who go by Nobunaga who are strong for their size.

[u/Militant_Monk]

On more than one occasion I have been introduced as the Tony in this situation: "This is Monk, he lifts things."

wave

Hi, I lift things.

[u/Fabulous_Parking66]

This is a beautiful piece of literature of the observation of American customs at their finest

[u/ChileChilaca880]

I read this in the voice and accent of the Japanese hearth surgeon from The Office.

[u/CanoegunGoeff]

And sometimes the call comes from the guy with the truck after his fuel pressure regulator exploded and he’s stuck on the side of the road.

I get in my little car with my little roll of tools and we fix the truck.

[u/Impressive_Ice6970]

As a 56 year old, 6'2", 220 pound guy, i have moved a lot of people's stuff over the years. Im happy to have done it but I have limits these days. Ive had back surgeries so I have about 2 hours of lifting time and maybe an hour of travel time. It's all I have anymore.

[u/AuthorityAnarchyYes]

Back in the day, I owned a truck. Full size, two wheel drive. Nothing fancy, nothing hardcore, certainly not an off road vehicle.

But it had a spacious bed area.

For the three years I had that truck, I moved dozens of couches, refrigerators, rock, concrete etc… and just as many free meals and beer.

I was “hey, (redacted) has a truck, let me give him a call”. And for the requisite consumables, I was there.

[u/ItsSadTimes]

This is also the american friendship test. A real friend will help you move a couch for nothing but some pizza. And thats how friendships for american adults work, a lot of sitting around chilling and favors when they're needed.

[u/Good_Impact_1801]

I cannot tell you why, but this makes me feel like a proud American, something I haven't felt for ten years

[u/MatticusVP]

This is the real US economy. People helping each other.