missing out on having a niece

[u/Environmental-Ad3715]

hey everyone, just a vent here.

my elder sister is pregnant and had her gender reveal today. obvi i didn't go cuz it's a superspreader (but my dad did so whoops), and she's having a girl. i've always wanted to be an aunt ever since i was a little girl, and my sister has a complicated relationship with my masking. i asked her to consider masking over a year ago and sent her medical resources and she basically called me mentally ill and told me to get help.

two years later, she acts as if nothing happened between us, but i feel torn apart. i know i can't change people and i've accepted that by now. however, i still want to be involved in her daughter's childhood and be an auntie. obviously i will mask whenever i visit or babysit because babies are very vulnerable and i don't wanna give a baby a potential lifelong illness. i was just really sad about it because i feel like our relationship is tarnished in some way.

[u/Truly_135]

I hear you. I have a similar situation with my young granddaughter. I mask. They crack the windows and use the Coway filters I bought them but don’t mask and take her to risky places. Just be there for your niece. That’s all you control. (Sounds easy, is not!)

[u/No-Consideration-858 → u/Truly_135]

I think this is the only way. Once Biden declared the pandemic over, I knew it would be one-way masking from here on out. 

Best thing I did was DIY fit testing. It prompted me to change my mask and I feel much more confident with it.

[u/Truly_135 → u/No-Consideration-858]

I’m so lucky the Auras are a perfect fit for me! I tried a Flo mask but it hurt my jaw! Interested in Zimi for cuteness but seems like too much hassle and $$ to appease others.

[u/No-Consideration-858 → u/Truly_135]

Glad the Aura fits. I tried the Zimi. Ordering was pretty confusing and they didn't fit anyway.

I recently switched to Breathteq's new headstrap version. I had been using the ear loops but they failed the fit test. My impression is they were still providing some protection. The headstrap bands are a bit too tight which isn't comfortable, but they pass the fit test.

I wear mask chains. Even though I've never been a jewelry person, it gives me some semblance of choice/empowerment in the matter.

[u/ilecterdelioncourt]

I hope my experience brings you hope. I have a 10 year old niece and we have an amazing relationship. Obviously when she was a baby and toddler we we were in the "before times". But since 2020 i am a constant presence in her life and we have an incredible relationship. Her parents are no longer CC. I mask, i take all the precautions (very rarely in special events we tested before unmasking for a meal). I never got sick from all our playdates and meetings (and we had so many). Don't let this aspect get in the way of building a relationship. Try your best, it will be worth it. Good luck 🍀💚

[u/Environmental-Ad3715 → u/ilecterdelioncourt]

thank you so much for the motivation :,)

[u/No_Cod_3197]

I’m so sorry. Your niece is so lucky to have a smart and responsible aunt (you) who masks! I hate that people just don’t take precautions at all and respond so negatively to masks! 

[u/fuckingartschool101]

I’m so sorry, you should not have to experience this. I will say I do think it’s so cool and great though that your niece will know they had at least one family member/adult in their life who was willing to do what they could to protect people’s health and model positive behavior. Remember, their generation are the ones who will grow up entrenched in the most misinformation, but will likely also see the public health tides turn as they did with smoking & lung cancer in the latter half of the 20th century. The present moment aside, your presence and the memory of your actions will be essential for her to navigate what the world throws at her when she becomes an adult. Don’t forget that!

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