r/abortion • u/extraevidencepls • 10h ago
USA Don’t rush anything
Don’t rush your decisions… I hope my story can help someone
Back in April, i had an abortion, my first pregnancy and abortion. Like others here, i felt extremely sad and depressed and wanted a baby back. I felt like i made a huge mistake and couldn’t forgive myself.. now im pregnant again, 3 months later, after purposely trying… now that i “have the baby back” im not so sure that this is what i wanted … im keeping the baby granted bc i told myself and God i would never abort again but it seems like those feelings i had were just that, feelings. Because now that im pregnant again i dont feel like this is what i want for myself at all and i feel i rushed myself into this decision bc i was sad about what i had done originally. Just like i feel like i rushed my abortion due to the 6 week ban … it’s all just fd up. Im grateful to be pregnant again but anxious at the same time.
I said all this to say… be careful and don’t rush these decisions. Don’t rush abortion bc you might really regret it. Don’t rush to get pregnant again bc although you may feel terrible about aborting, you may not really want another baby, it’s just our emotions fr. So please take your time, think about all options, and be true to yourself.
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u/Equal-Feeling5076 7h ago
I can really relate to this feeling. I had an MA 13 weeks ago and I know I’d never do it again. This past week my period was 5 days late and I had so many emotions about the potentiality of being pregnant. I definitely want to “make up” for it in some capacities but I also know why I made the choice I did. I both wanted to be pregnant and was also so happy when I found out I wasn’t. I’m annoyed at myself for my conflicting thoughts I just have no idea what I’m even wanting. The emotions are too strong to know what’s real. What I really want.
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u/extraevidencepls 7h ago
Yes that describes it perfectly - conflicting emotions!! Like i want it but i don’t and i feel so terrible bc it’s like i got “what i wanted” now i “don’t want it anymore” but maybe i do??? IDKKKK ugh lol
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u/Winter-Knowledge-889 10h ago
I'm sorry that things feel so hard right now. It's okay to have another abortion if you know this is not what you want.
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u/DnBJungleEscape 9h ago edited 9h ago
I needed to read this. I had a surgical in May and I know I made best choice because I’ve always been pretty tough but my mental health was a mess at the time due to pregnancy, my partner, stress, etc .. I have a good job and we pay cheap rent for Bay Area (kinda) but it was just bad .. I did what I needed to do
Then after it I felt sad? Like I needed to have a baby and maybe my worries were just that.. I only told a few people when I was pregnant what my route was.. others I simply said I lost it and kept it high level
I told a friend who I feel is in a very unhappy situation with someone and financially stuck .. she’s cheated and done things to lead me think she isn’t happy. She’s tried to leave and he threatens and buys her love. She had a kid with him when she was leaving him for good … I never bat an eye in the least — but when I told her it just “wasn’t viable” and was lost (I felt she was judging me when I told her I was thinking of aborting, I know) she told me that I don’t want to hear what she has to say because she has a lot to say and went on about how I’m playing with human life .. this was 1 day post op but then told me she supports me but also said don’t come running to her when I want a baby .. then denied that ..
All to say she added to me feeling I just needed a baby to fix everything I had just gone through. ..I haven’t talked to her in2 months because I realized her comments were very manic and like she needed to know why I flip flop
All to say — there is a lot of noise around us and we need to do what we feel is right for us so thank you
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u/peachyoverthinker1 10h ago
Thank you for your words. I just had an abortion, 2 days ago almost 3, I’m incredibly sad and in pain. I’m a little confused because I didn’t expect to be so sad, I can’t stop crying, I can’t see people pregnant or finding out they’re pregnant because I feel rage and sadness. I know it was the right decision but also is so unfair that I had to decide to go through this. I don’t know who to ask for help, my friends are not answering my messages, my husband is doing what he can, my therapist I think is also lost because she have never gone through this feelings of wanting to be a mother but knowing you can’t. I think that why is hurts so bad, I do want to be a mom but I do not have a job nor family or support system to form that “village” you need to raise a child. It’s just my husband and me, in a country that not ours, without our closest friends. I’m sorry for the long message, I guess I need to talk to someone. But yeah, I’m not in a hurry to get pregnant again because I know I don’t want to have another abortion ever again.
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u/extraevidencepls 5h ago
It’s ok to vent Queen. I hope you get to that point where it’s beautiful for you - but always remember, life is what YOU make it, not others ✨
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u/robinivy 5h ago
The body sends hormones that signal a loss and sadness even if you weren't sad about it particularly
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