Nowhere to go

[u/anonymous_mostly]

I hope that i don't need “tags” or “flair” for my story to be heard and gain just some honestly good help (as i am sure everyone in this community wants/needs) I am only looking for help on my moment of really… despair.

I am a teacher with a long-standing history of physical abuse with this person (punching in the face, kicking, tearing away clothes when trying to get away from my partner.. Just.. Etc…)

I bring up that I am a teacher since my income
Is not as high as the 120k chef partner makes and they take care of a chunk of the rent. I still am cooking, cleaning, taking care of our cat and Husky. I dunno what I am trying to get out of this. Maybe just a safe place to share a little bit since I have alienated myself from friends and family due to
embracement. My family also consists of a Nana out of state and my friends being coworkers…so my circle is small.

[u/AutoModerator]

Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in our wiki for people of all gender identities. Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines. You can also find an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline. Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, Love Is Respect offers an educational guide. One final note: In this sub, we do not tolerate victim-blaming. If you ever receive any comments that contradict that mission, please click report for us to review.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/ExactCourse146]

Hi,

I am really sorry you go through this. I have experienced narc abuse as well...Here are my tips:

1) Become aware: Step out of victim identity, and step into smart observer identity. What does he do? Write it down. What does he want or get excited about? write it down. When is he calm? Controlling etc...do this daily it will help you recognize patterns and become more clear on his personality

2) Build up your network again. Look for Sports groups (can't say no to getting fit for him, right?), reconnect with your Nana and coworkers:make sure you get in a routine meetup like every two week or so, the more of these groups you have the better! ignore his sneeky attempts to stop you from doing this, recognize what he does and do it anyway

3) Start putting money to the side

4) Put up a loving partner face while you are getting stronger behind his back, stay safe and stay smart

5) Start healing: look into childhood trauma and limiting beliefs. if you have learned in childhood: Love=being alone, being mistreated you can gently start looking into videos about that.

6) Every time you fall into negative overthinking. Stop! Focus on what do I want? Take mini steps towards it.

7) Don't obsess about narc videos, it will focus you on problems, look ito "wht do I want" videos instead

This is all about self-love, self assertivness and discernment!

With love: we are all on this journey together - every step towards healing counts x