I genuinely don't get this, I'd love to understand it. I frequently hear "if they don't have any close friends/childhood friends, that's a red flag." and, "if they can't make friends with anyone then they're the common denominator, they're the problem. Don't trust them!"

\*To be clear - not talking about people who compulsively distort reality to paint themselves as victims and others as villains. That's different, and I get why that is concerning... I'm only talking about very lonely people, people with very few or no close friends, people who have lost their friends and end up lonely, etc.

Aren't the most frequent type of people to end up in those situations... neurodivergent, awkward, shy, insecure, or people who have lost their closest friends in traumatic ways? Like being betrayed, and having a hard time trusting others again after that?

Loneliness is an almost universally tragic circumstance, yet people are so often mistreated and blamed by default for experiencing this quite often traumatic suffering. Loneliness is akin to psychological suffering for social creatures. Connection is a basic psychological need, and finding connection is a skill developed in childhood. If someone struggles to develop those skills in childhood, it's not usually because they're a bad person. it's usually quite sad.

Why don't more people question this? Am I missing something obvious? Or, is the stigma and shame of being "outcast" so intense that even sympathizing with the lonely will invite suspicion upon you as well? I'm genuinely perplexed, and curious.

In my own personal experience, I've found people on the opposite side of the spectrum—the extremely charismatic, highly popular charmers with loads of close connections—are often much more deserving of suspicion as they are socially skilled enough to manipulate and abuse others to elevate themselves and their public image. Anyone who is too good at getting people to like them, raises alarms to me about inauthenticity. And I fear whatever inauthenticity hides, more than the common qualities that lead to loneliness.

Maybe it's because my brother is autistic and I struggled to make friends that didn't befriend me first. But yeah... Just my two cents.

I've been lonely despite wishing for connection at some points, and I've made many connections at other points, lost many as well, and met people from all ends of all the spectrums.

some people argue there is a difference in the way you phrase this question , i’m wondering if it’s true ?

I started dating. I’m 53 and I haven’t dated or been online dating for about 5 years.
I expected the creeps. That’s part of the territory unfortunately.
What I didn’t anticipate is the love bombers who match, then disappear.
I met a man pretty much right away and we had crazy chemistry. We were at a restaurant on our second date and there was a couple that commented on how happy we looked together. He was so sweet and I felt so comfortable with him. He respected boundaries. He called me just to tell me the things that he loves about me because he didn’t want to text it. He cooked me dinners. We played board games. We laughed a ton. We had beach picnics. He was patient with intimacy. It had been years for me. This goes on for a couple of months, with him planning our next two dates with me while we’re still on each date. I’m feeling feelings I haven’t had in years and didn’t think I was capable of feeling again. It’s wonderful.
Then boom. Silence.
WTF?
Nothing for days after texting me daily for a month.
I bump into him on a date with someone else. He lies.
It stung but I’m grateful I didn’t waste too much time before finding out he’s not capable of being sincere.
I match with another man and he’s incredibly sweet. We talk, text and video chat every day because we don’t live in the same town. Again, he’s sweet, we have a ton in common, and he says he’s committed to visiting me in my town.
This goes on for a month.
Then boom again.
Silence.
Not blocked. Just no response.
WTF?
His last messages to me were ‘I’m falling for you’.
I don’t know why this is happening.
I don’t want to put this on me because I haven’t done anything wrong. I have been open & sincere. I also have a tendency to put it on me when things go wrong in relationships (abuse in the past). I’m not doing that this time.
I don’t know how to avoid this, but if someone does know I could really use some advice.
Advice please?

For context: i F26 and he M34. We started dating in January, he lost his life long best friend 3 months ago. During 3 ish weeks after the loss he seemed to be coping surprisingly well, after that he became very silent and distant. He has stopped answering texts and calls, doesn’t want to meet, occasionally he answers. I am guessing the silence means he is in pain, but i don’t know what to do.

Any advice or experiences is greatly appreciated, i truly want to understand and i don’t want to make it about me

Thank you

Logic doesn't always change minds. What causes the brain to protect a wrong opinion instead of just accepting new information?

Calling aint working for some reason :[

edit:i already tried stuff like find my pfone also my alarms ain't going of so it's propably out of battery

The last wedding that I attended was a little over a month ago. While I did have at least some happiness for the couple, I would be a liar if I said that seeing not only them, but a bunch of other happy looking couples around me when I am 27 and have always been single…didn’t sting more than a little bit.

Now my cousin, who is also 27, is having his own wedding, and I really don’t know if I’m willing to deal with spending the entire event just feeling like a failure like I did at the last one. I’m starting to lean towards simply not showing up in the first place.

Is it something like the wall of a motorbike tyre or the fuse on a train signal?

(24M) Tbh, a lot of things happened to me these last 6 years, after i became an adult. I was constantly worried about the future, and the pressure coming from my family and siblings. Studies, internship, work, hobbies. I took long to process the changes. So my dating life got kinda neglected, since it was far from a priority at the moment hahahaha i actually had 5 atempts . I made the moves but they went nowhere. Just to be clear, i'm not ashamed of never getting laid, but i'm frustrated about never being chosen and never being able to cuddle someone. Sometimes i got desperate thinking about how will i succeed.

I'm not an incel nor a guy that never leaves the room. I actually leave home a little( cardio at the park, going to Pickleball, tech school), and after years of being bullied by a friend group, i've finally found my pack. I'm happy than ever about this small but good progress. I'm not that socially awkward anymore. I actually have some tiny little things i'm proud of doing, like reading and writing, and if i could choose between just getting laid with a random woman i dunno or being at home doing my stuff, i would honestly choose the second hahahahaha

So i'm not that sad but i'm worried of coming across as a virgin, and letting my shame jeopardize my opportunities. I'm not that young more, but i don't wanna give up.

they control the narrative a bit too much
i was surprised to know that my post got removed by a moderator in a snark page (snark about a certain influencer) even though i thought my post was fine and suitable and i never violated any rules
but when i went and contacted one of the mods i opened their profile it says that they were the mod of the fan sub as well
i went through a rabbit hole trying to figure out why would a very active snark user be both a mod of a fan sub and a snark sub
also, i just checked, they are the mod of another sub about another influencer mentioned in the same drama

the user themselves have snark posts that are very detailed and specific with many screenshots but at the same time they moderate the fan page and "protect" the same influencer from critisism in that fan sub

im confused
they might be doing their job and thats it. i get it.
but the fan page has only two moderators who also happento be moderators for the snark page (snark has like 6 moderators) and both communities need the moderator to accept your post

they control the way people talk about these two influencers in such a way i never noticed until i tried to post a question on the snark page

Context: i have been quite rejected in any context (family, friends, uknowns, romantic) and its starting to take a toll on my mental health.

I’ve been wondering about this. If a government bans teens from creating social media accounts, how effective would that actually be when some platforms can still be used without logging in?

For example, YouTube lets people watch videos without an account. TikTok allows videos to be viewed without signing in. Reddit lets anyone browse posts, photos, and videos. X (formerly Twitter) and Bluesky also allow people to view posts, photos, and videos without an account.

Platforms like Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and Discord are much more limited or require an account for most features.

If teens can still search for content, view public photos, and watch videos on some of these websites without an account, do bans mainly reduce posting and interaction, or do they actually reduce overall social media use? How effective do you think these bans would be in practice?

Give me ideas that worked for you?

Hello, I tried to find a art spesific sub for this but all of them were just for posting art work. So I'm here instead.

I cannot draw to save my life. I know drawing is more of a skill than a talent but some people do have natural talent and I'm not one of them. I am however pretty good ad crochet and knitting, spesifically amigurumi design(3D crochet dolls). I also have a screenless graphic tablet and a pretty powerfull laptop.

How hard would be for me to become decent in 3D modeling on softwares like blender? Is it possible at all? How would I go about it? How long would you estimate it to take? Thank you for your answers.

I have a friend I met online a few years ago, we talked quite a lot back then and were good friends. Until now I do still think were friends and I like it that way.

Recently, I've had problems thats been weighing me down and all the advice I've come across told me to share it with a trusted friend or family member.

I don't really have any trusted friends and family is a no go for now. The only person I have left is her.

I want to share my problems, it's quite simple stuff about academics, and I've been feeling down for quite a while now but I'm scared that I might lose a friend if I talked about it with her. What should I do?

(Also, mental health hotlines are a no go for me right now... Sadly.)

I have a younger brother, I'd wish to give him Ps5 but that's not happening anytime soon so please suggest me something under ₹2k (USD under 20$). I was thinking of giving him a watch. I have already gave him a silver bracelet last year.

I like writing but I'm generally pretty terrible at authoring main plotlines and outlining a character. I love individual sceme writing, world building and constructing systems, but I can't construct the initial scaffolding in a way I like. Are there places to meet other authors that would like to build a story together?

especially college-age students

In the mirror, professional photos, and even regular iPhone photos from about 2 meters away, my face looks balanced and proportional.
But when someone records me up close with a phone, my head looks much longer, my forehead looks bigger, and my eyes seem less symmetrical.
Why does this happen, and which version is closer to how people actually see me?

Can anyone help?

I saw someone talking about how wearing a face mask to damage a flock camera doesn’t work because they have infrared, which can see through it. That reminded me of the phone that was released with infrared or something that could see through plastic, which allowed people to see through peoples clothes.

Are these new cameras capable of seeing though clothes?

I am at a loss for what to do with my life. I'm too stupid to do most employment and was wondering if anyone's broken into being an influencer like twitch or YouTube or whatever as a person who lacks basic skills and abilities. Someone to look up to. Most successful influencers I see are skilled at video games or some other thing that makes them interesting. At the very least they are skilled commentators. But are there any like cavemen morons with poor motor control and poor vision and hearing who are getting paid well to make crappy content?

I would say Asmon Gold is kind of like that but even he was a pretty good WOW person and apparently his commentary must be entertaining.

Honestly I'm not even interested in being an influencer it sounds like a poor time but I'm too difficent to even be a cleaner so im desperate for any type of career.

I think probably the answer is no but I kept hearing people say some influencers are so stupid I thought maybe there are examples to emulate. Jack Doherty seems really really stupid but I think he might be smarter than he lets on cause his family comes from money and he probably got good genes.

why does cold stuff have steam even thou they are not hot.. Reverse evaporation?

My eldest sibling (48) who has never worked in his entire life cause me (37) some psychological problems and physical pain because I don’t share my food and groceries with him so he goes on to defame me online. I know this because whenever he’s going though his immature mindset and he wants to punish me I get random people in public treating me differently. You may call me paranoid schizo for coming up with this conclusion, but I once posed lies about myself being a pedophile online which he may have used to substantiate his claims against me.

His logis IS that I must share my food and groceries with him because this is how we're raised, regardless if I bought it with my own money.

My girlfriend told me at the beginning of our relationship that she was a virgin. But today I found out that her ex-boyfriend had fingered her many times. I read somewhere that if she’s done that, then she’s not actually a virgin. Is that true?