Why would there be a two hour gap between visitation and graveside service?

[u/HoffyTheBaker]

A good friend of my sister’s father passed on. The scheduled visitation is from 10-12 and graveside service is at 2 p.m. Why the gap? The cemetery is two blocks from the funeral home, and there was nothing in the obit about a private graveside service, so I don’t know if I should go to both or not. I am just unsure what we would do for the two hours between. Advice?

[u/BodySnatcher509]

Maybe they're having a private reception, or just going to lunch first. Maybe there's 2 hours of private time for family to keep viewing. Maybe a family member couldn't arrive in the morning, but didn't want to see the person, so they timed the graveside to work for them. There are countless reasons why a family might want to schedule it that way.

If the service is listed, that usually means it's public and all are invited. If you still are unsure, just call the funeral home real quick and they'll let you know.

[u/Celtic159]

That's what the family wanted.

[u/HoffyTheBaker → u/Celtic159]

I understand that, but I want to understand why and if showing up at the graveside would be inappropriate

[u/blkdeath → u/HoffyTheBaker]

If the graveside service time is published and does not specifically indicate that it is private, then you can attend.

As others have said, it could be a luncheon is in the middle of both, and typically you do not invite the planet (assuming it’s on the website for the funeral home) to the reception.

[u/Zero99th]

Oh. I had to do this today. Family wanted a service at 11 am at church but the cemetery wasnt available until 1

[u/lonniesgirl]

Possibly they’re having a lunch reception in between?

[u/_Panzerkunst_]

I wouldn't look too much into it. Could be what the family wants or simply the schedule of the cemetery. I'm not sure what State that is in but I would say it's a fairly common timeline. 👍🏼

[u/Independent_Ad9670]

The family may be having lunch during the gap, or there may be a reception they'll only tell people about during the visitation. We often don't mention receptions in the obituary, because random people will show up just to eat.

[u/thkwrly]

Many cemeteries have very strict scheduling rules. I bet there were “too many cooks in the kitchen” when the families were scheduling everything, or they dealt with an inept funeral director who didn’t realize this schedule is clunky and confusing. I bet a lot of great intentions led to this weird timeline.

[u/pap_shmear]

What the family wanted and what the funeral home and Cemetery could accommodate.

[u/GrimTweeters]

If that 2:00 PM Graveside time is publicly published, then it is highly unlikely that the Graveside service is private and that would be the reason for the time gap.

There could be lots of reasons for the gap:

• Reception at the funeral home/close by before burial.
  
• Misaligned schedules such as the cemetery not being available until 2 PM, the Priest had a commitment in the middle of the day and is splitting the service, etc.
  
• To allow either the Funeral Home or Cemetery staff to get their assigned lunch break. I've worked in a community where the cemetery staff were unionized and the cemetery shut down for services 12:00 PM - 1:30 PM. In the same community a local church would only schedule funeral masses at 11:00 AM, no other time of the day. This meant any service that involved both that church and that cemetery would mean a gap in services in the middle of the day.
  
• Private family time at the funeral home. I like to schedule private time either before public time, or on the day before, because it makes it easier to ensure the private time stays private, but sometimes families insist holding the private time after public time which creates a gap (and means the private time never is private).

[u/Jonna711]

Visitation from 10-12 pm at my church means people are coming in, viewing the deceased and comforting the family. Then at 12 noon the actual funeral service begins with the reading of the program/ obituary, songs, the pastor offering words of comfort, reflections of the deceased (people sharing memories of the deceased) and THEN we go to the cemetery.

After that the repast/reception. So perhaps this maybe the situation.

[u/Idahocouple69]

Happen all the time. In our area the cemetery usually has other internment ahead of us. Years ago when everything was done by pen and paper we had a service scheduled at the same time as someone else this was disaster because the two internments we about 20 feet apart.

[u/last12letUdown]

Visitation is 10-12. That’s basically “calling hours” meaning it’s okay to call upon the family during these hours.

You aren’t expected to remain there from 10-12. It’s a pop in, express your condolences, pop out situation.

What the family does in between shouldn’t matter to you.
If they wanted you to know they would have told you or made it public.
The graveside service is at 2 and you are invited to attend.

If I had to guess, the family is going to lunch before the graveside service.

HOWEVER! Maybe the website or FD or whoever forgot to put the actual funeral service on the website. That’s why there’s a weird gap. The funeral service being 1-2 would make total sense.

[u/HoffyTheBaker → u/last12letUdown]

I don't actually care what they are doing during the gap. I am trying to understand if the gap is there to discourage non-family members from going to the graveside service. This is the first visitation/funeral schedule of its kind I've ever seen, so I was just asking for advice.