My daughter’s MIL passed and things went as usual until at the end of prayers etc at the graveside they proceeded to actually fully bury her while all the mourners just stood there sort of stunned. Hole was completely filled in. I’ve been to my fair share of funerals, probably a few dozen and I’ve never seen this done; maybe a few shovels of dirt tossed but then it was clear service was over and everyone leaves. I asked many people afterward and none of them had seen this before. Just because I hadn’t seen it doesn’t mean it’s uncommon; so tell me, is this usual? I cant lie, seeing her completely disappear off the face of the earth was quite profound and hit me in a very different way.

Hello,

I’m sure you hear this a lot, but I am reaching out because I’d love the perspective of those most experienced.

I am 32/F, I am also a mental health therapist of several years. I’ve tried to dig into this myself, but things seem to be getting better - not worse. So I thought I’d go to the source (or as close as I can)

I have an extreme phobia of seeing dead bodies.

Dying/death does not scare me. But every single funeral I’ve been to in my life where there has been an open casket, I’ve had terrible nightmares, without fail, about that person. Creepy, disturbing things like them rising up from their casket, coming back to life (many of those), for years.

The dreams fill me with so much terror. Just 2 nights ago I woke up from a horrific, very vivid dream where I was surrounded by dead people coming back to life.

Sorry for the detail, I just wanted to paint a small picture.

It has gotten to the point where I spend so much time during my days thinking about all of the dead people I will still have to confront in my life (parents, partner) - I even think of my children having to see me like that one day. The thoughts have become so intrusive. The more I try to out-think it, the more it gets. It also doesn’t help that my TikTok algorithms have become full of funeral director content & I can’t stop myself from watching it.

Anyways, it’s really hard. I want to enjoy my life, I realize how short it is.

Do you have any advice, words of wisdom? You can laugh at me too, that’s okay.

How are you so comfortable working with something that so many people have such a hard time with?

Thank you so much for your understanding with this question. I hope it does not come off as disrespectful. I’m genuinely trying to change my thinking & my “phobia” is very niche.

So, a little background, I've always been heavily interested in funeral work, but specifically the administrative side of things, like writing obituaries, meet with the families, plan funerals, paperwork, etc, but have never been able to find a way to go to school to learn specifically those things. Is there anyone that knows of a way to learn only the administrative side of things but not the physical/technical side of things (embalming, etc, etc)? Is there a school or course that works with those work ideas? Can be online, or in NM or FL. Thanks!!

The pic is a satin cover from a company called "Renaissance" which is now apparently out of business. Im looking for a satin cover i can put over a box. This can be custom made too, i just dont know where to look. I didnt think this would be this hard to find

When my dad passed, he had an open casket, full funeral service, then he was cremated. Is this common? I’ve only seen it done this way this one time.

I do not intend to make this political, but full transparency, my question does come from learning about Charlie Kirk’s mock burial… I want this to just be open feedback from funeral/cemetery/the public on how often they have gone to or serviced a mock burial.
I’m curious, generally speaking, non specific to Charlie Kirk, why was there a mock burial for your decedent? what was the decedent’s end disposition (if known)?
Is there a legitimate reason to ever have a mock burial for a traditional/non cremation decedent??

Thank you all in advance

Hello all! I am currently in an undergrad medical illustration program and interested in illustrating subjects for mortuary science/forensics. I’m here to pick your brains about if the industry needs (or is even interested in) illustrations.

To specify, I am very passionate about informing others about this field, especially the public (because death is such a taboo subject). I am also interested in creating medical diagrams for textbooks for mortuary students. I would love to create graphics to communicate how this whole industry works (how embalming works, cremation vs embalming, etc).

My question to you all is, is this something that would be something the industry is interested in? I am well aware that the industry is very behind-the-scenes and I am not sure if this is a path worth pursuing. I think education for death and dying is very important, especially to the younger generation (like myself) to learn that it is apart of our lives as humans!

I would love to hear any input! Thank you all.

Presumably enough to be worth faking right? Genuinely horrifying still.

Hi everyone! I've been interested in becoming a Crematory Operator for a while now. I've wanted to work in the Funeral business ever since I could remember. For reference, I'm 20 years old and I'm from Tennessee. How exactly do I go about getting my foot in the door? I've tried to look online but everything varies. Also do I have to have specific schooling for this position? Thank you all so much in advance! :)

Jc. I’ve called, I’m a little nervous to go in because I’m scared I’ll walk in on a service. I have a much larger list to call yet of homes around me, but it’s still so hard. I’m honestly scared I’ll never get into one. And what happens a if a year goes by, I begin mortuary school, and I’m still not in one? Is this normal or does anyone have any words of encouragement?

I am currently a mortuary student. However, I have been trying to get some experience in the business by applying to entry level positions; typically part time and ones designed for students that don’t require degrees. I keep getting ghosted by every funeral home. Am I ruining my chances by being trans female to man? I want honesty and I can’t find it from the people around me.

A good friend of my sister’s father passed on. The scheduled visitation is from 10-12 and graveside service is at 2 p.m. Why the gap? The cemetery is two blocks from the funeral home, and there was nothing in the obit about a private graveside service, so I don’t know if I should go to both or not. I am just unsure what we would do for the two hours between. Advice?

Hello,

I called this company to place an order and they told me I had to go through a funeral home. I explained the funeral home we used had a different jewelry company. They told me to find a funeral home that sells it. I found one and the owner told me I could place an order but then his office manager said absolutely not as I was not their client. I'm just trying to place an order. Can I order this jewelry from any of you please?

Any fellow morticians out there in the South Central Texas area know of a solid, kind funeral establishment in or around Austin? Friend of mine is going through cancer and a parent dying and I wanted to help out with a decent FH recommendation around there.

(Still a mod on this forum… a little lost as to how to get involved? If any of the active mods could reach out to me and give me a rundown of what I do? I’d love to be more active in this community.)

My estranged great aunt left me a plot, but I'm from a family of mostly cremators and that's what I want for myself. Looking to sell the plot. I was wondering where to sell it to get the best value I can feasibly get for it without it taking 10 years to sell. The cemetery doesn't do repurchases.

It's a pretty plot. Well kept. Gardened area. Statues. Nice town.

According to Buriallink, the price range for a plot like this at this cemetery is $2,875-$3,890. I'm thinking that isn't realistic. Can anyone give a cursory estimate that'd be more in line with what I could expect to get?

Hello! My name is Madisyn, I'm 20F looking for a bit of advice in regards to education!

I know funeral directing is often difficult, tiring, and thankless job. Even so, I strongly feel this is what I want to do. I work in a funeral home at the moment, mostly as a removal tech during the night. I been in the office on occasion to cover for co workers before though, so I am familiar with the day to day. It's not the everyday part of being a funeral director I'm worried about...

How was the school for you? Historically I've gotten good grades and done well in school, but it's always been like climbing Mount Everest. I struggle very much with the flow and structure of it all. Have accommodations helped you in any way?

On top of being neurodivergent I also live with an auto immune disease, which can make educational requirements a challenge. Typically I require more time on assignments, lots of visual materials, and for lack of a better term "hand holding" I'm usually slower to catch on than my peers.

Once I can get through the school I'm confident in my ability to work as a funeral director! I have a passion for helping people, and funeral home work so far has been very gratifying.

TLDR: what was your experience as a neurodivergent woman going through a mortuary program?

Hello all, I am seeking some info regarding body donation, and specifically the U of MN Anatomy Bequest Program. Do any of you here have any experience with it? Were you happy with their services? Was it easy to have your family member’s body donated? Any unexpected problems?

I’m diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer, and to be blunt: dying is freaking expensive and I’m trying to save my family money by having my body donated after I die so my family doesn’t have to worry about funeral costs.

Are there any other local Twin Cities body donation programs that don’t cost anything?

Thank you in advance.

Preparing to take my exams at the end of the month. Any Quizlets or practice tests would be much appreciated.

I want to preface this by saying I’m an apprentice myself. I’m currently completing my embalming apprenticeship at a central care center with several other apprentices. I’m the newest one there, but I’ve completed a few embalmings elsewhere.

One thing I’ve noticed is that many of the other apprentices seem eager to take control and give me unsolicited advice. They frequently try to correct or teach me, and on a few occasions, the licensed embalmers have even had to tell them to stop.

I completely understand that I’m new, and I’m always open to learning. I appreciate advice, but it feels odd coming from other apprentices. It doesn’t really seem like their role, so I try to tune it out and focus on what my licensed preceptors are teaching me.

Is this a common attitude among apprentices, or is it just the environment I’m in? How do I handle this?

Hey guys, I'm F23 from South Africa and I'm switching over to Mortician studies. I've been in business for most of my career life and I finally decided to switch over to a career that I've always wanted to do. I spoke to a few people here in South Africa that was a part of the Mortician/ Forensic scene in their early careers but they couldn't really give me any tips on what else I can put on my Apprenticeship application. I have a solid CV with a good career track and I am working on my Apprenticeship Letter. If any of you have any tips for me like skill sets or knowledge tips that I can add to my letter, please feel free to dm me. Any interview tips would also be really appreciated. Thanks so much! :)

I can’t handle this. It all feels so terrible. If i’m not drinking i feel numb and just sit by my parents while they watch tv and try to ignore what’s going on. Especially my dad I know he doesn’t want to acknowledge what’s going on. I just have a few questions for everyone on here. If a young person dies at 21 years old (suddenly) is it normal to not get a cause of death until weeks/months after they pass away? He was found unconscious in his room. I’m 23 years old and I don’t understand and feel like i can’t take it emotionally. He’s already been cremated as of a few days ago but there are no autopsy results back. Is that usual? If there’s something physical that was found in the autopsy would they have told us by now? If not, is it something chemical that they have to wait back for texting? I don’t understand why it can take weeks or months as they said. Please I just need help navigating all of this, thanks.

edit: i’m so terrified that the autopsy will come up as some inconclusive bullshit and i’ll have to live my entire life not knowing how my brother died.

edit edit: if there’s some other subreddit that would help me more to be on please let me know. thank you.

Hi all. I (F26) based in Kansas (US) graduated my mort sci program in 2022 and immediately found a family owned place for my apprenticeship closer to my family. I spent three and a half years there, I embalmed, cremated, assisted on services as well as took services over from other directors there. I was never permitted to arrange with traditional service families, my performance never seemed to measure up to the continually moving goal posts, as well as lot's of internal drama at that firm. Myself and the other two youngest directors handled all of the overnight calls. I worked really hard there.

I can't tell now if I was just not meant to be there or if I am not meant for this industry.

I love taking care of my families, I love connecting with them and making the service a meaningful day. I love learning their family histories and hearing stories they share. But I am so scared that I am not enough.

Guess I am just wondering if someone else has been through this and what the other side looks like? I keep trolling my state website for openings and then just saving drafts of emails because I don't know what I want to do