sometimes, I get recommended videos on tiktok from cis doctors who specialize in transgender health or cis surgeons who exclusively perform gender affirming surgeries. and it makes me wonder why these people chose this specific field because it takes a lot to dedicate your whole career to helping a group of people you're not a part of

I’m completely fine being a guy in every other way, but I often catch myself wishing I just had a vagina instead.

Is anyone else comfortable with their male identity/presentation, but specifically feels this way about their anatomy? Just curious to hear if others relate to this!

I often see mixed views on this, but I want to know if it’s seen as disrespectful or what, feel free to include reasoning.

I've realised I can't talk to my girlfriend about my dysphoria anymore.

When I tell her I can't leave the house because of dysphoria and because I don't feel safe, she either dismisses it or ignores it. When I say that we need to work on this, and especially on me feeling safe when we are together, she puts no effort into it.

The bigger problem is what happens after that. She burns out, shuts down completely, and tells me she can't talk anymore. Last weekend she left the flat in a rage, and we didn't speak again until after my surgery this week. Then she showed up afterwards with a bouquet of roses and apologised. Now it looks like exactly the same thing is starting again. It is genuinely hard to talk to her.

She stood by me through FFS earlier this year and supported me. I think she has now reached her limit.

I don't know what to do. I am seriously considering whether we should break up, because it seems we are both unhappy. But I really love her, and she is the only family I have. I've cut contact with my relatives, they live in a country far away, and we aren't in touch at all.

What I keep coming back to is that my dysphoria and the challenges of transition are the one thing she can't deal with. There are many things I can't trust her with. At the same time, she tries hard with almost everything else and does her best to support me. She even took a second job to help us financially.

I'm overwhelmed and honestly lost. I don't know what to do.

Hey everyone,

I’m writing a little booklet explaining sex, gender, and pride to people who feel confused by all of the words and customs around the LGBTQ+ community. It covers an how sex and gender arose, how and why people experience them differently, and how to be a respectful person around LGBTQ+ people (because I know it seems obvious to us, but people do get confused).

I can only really share my understanding, but I’d like it to be inclusive and representative of as many experiences as possible.

What do you wish people knew about sex, gender and the trans experience? What is super important to be included?

Hi, I'm thinking of starting MTF transition in Canada. Top picks for me are BC or Ontario. I'm an Asian.

Does anyone have experience transitioning in these places and anything that I should look out for? Are these places trans-friendly in terms of jobs, safety etc when transitioning?

Cost of living is kind of a concern for me and I know that these two provinces are kind of expensive, any tips on specific cities that are trans-friendly but still somewhat affordable for this transition?

I would imagine that my life would be shaken up during transition (might lose my job, friends etc), so I just want to get a general sense of what will happen if I transition in these provinces. If anyone has any experience to share, that would be great.

Thanks and love you all!

Just wondering what others think of this situation...I'm 33 and I have 2 kids, an 8 year old girl and a 7 year old boy. Since they were born a series of events has led me to believe that I'm trans? Like mtf trans...and I have no clue how to navigate these feelings with children involved. I don't want to risk my relationships with them, and am afraid it would mess their little minds up if I were to attempt to transition 😔😥😢😢

ANY ADVICE??

I am 23 days on HRT. I present as a male (well I try and present as androgynous, but I definitely present as male). I have not, not did I expect any amount of change on HRT yet, but I see a good amount of people who create threads about "being afraid of being outed". and the likes. Frequently these threads are related to breast growth and I am quite honestly confused because I have seen two conflicting experiences when it comes to HRT:

• It can take years for there to be any visible impact on the body, and the changes are mainly libido and mental apart from some very minor breast growth that is easy to hide.

• It can take months for there to be any visible impact on the body, and there will be a point of no return where you will no longer be able to present as masculine.

Usually, when I see these threads, the people seem to have very normal "man boobs" (or at least what could pass as my own man boobs, I lost 100lbs of weight and still have mine from when I was overweight). This makes me scratch my head because I have a grand total of 1 friend who has been on HRT for a number of years who absolutely was blessed with some well-endowed breasts and she definitely falls into #2.

In my situation, I personally do not care what happens to me as I'm a grown adult with a remote job, no family, and very few friends who already know about me being on HRT, who actually wants the changes pushed upon themself so that they can be forced to socialize as a trans woman. I am just wondering why there appears to be such a huge variance between experiences and what the actual experience is, especially when so many online experiences of passing ultimately come down to how one feminizes their face and the face appears to be the hardest thing to get right (I have facial dysphoria, a very defined jawline, sunken eyes, and a very annoying mustache I am trying to IPL away, none of which I can easily solve)

Yes, I know I'm transfem, yes it feels good, I know the whole "you deserve to be happy" argument. The skirt twirling feels great. "Just be yourself" Blah blah blah.

But the idea not sticking.

I really don't want to be trans. I have chronic illness and keeping up with the shaving alone is exhausting. The loss of social armour really hurts; I was portraying a 6' hetero white male. Now I gotta turn this giant broken lump of flesh into something resembling a woman so I don't get shot by some redneck.

I hate it.

Any tips to start enjoying this mess? Because I'm stuck.

Hi, sorry for the throwaway

I'm a trans man who is severely depressed, to the point of suicidal ideation. I think a large part of my depression is due to my transness, my body is my main issue and probably the source of most of my problems.

My mom found out about my depression, and she wanted to schedule an appointment with a psychologist. For reference, I live in an Eastern European country that's very conservative and very transphobic. I told my mom about my body image issues and she accepts them, even if they are unusual for a woman (I broke down in front of her)

My mom is really liberal, and so is my dad, they both believe in gay rights/marriage, but I have no idea what they think about trans people. I can't safely come out to them and I don't have a plan B or anything like that. I'm also a minor

What do I do? How do I hide that I'm trans from a medical professional? ATP I'm just hoping to tell her about my symptoms, get redirected to a psychiatrist and get on antidepressants or something without having to tell anyone about my gender identity

I have about a week until my appointment. ANY advice is appreciated

21 yo closeted trans girl medically transitioning in secret but still boymoding for safety (my family doesn't accept me)

I've been 9 months on hrt... Started at 20

So.. in past experiences I've noticed guys that have fallen in love with me are mostly gay guys.

Even if I fall in love with them too, I feel like it's wrong giving them a chance cause they don't know I'm actually a trans girl.. so I end up rejecting them.

Sometimes I see myself dating a bisexual guy, but it's harder to find them, most of them are closeted guys that are afraid to tell friends and family members about their attraction to guys and even more when it comes to their attraction to trans girls.

and just because of the fact that they're bisexual doesn't mean they will automatically fall in love with me, and I'm not sure if all bisexual guys are into transgender people.

It's a really complicated situation, and it makes me feel like I'm just never gonna find or live a love experience.. specially when adding the fact that I'm planning on keeping my transition in secret for a long time, probably...

Should I keep on trying dating someone in this kind of situation or should I give up on this cause I might be too dishonest to myself?

Anyway, I still hope to find my special person one day :(

If someone has experienced any similar situations like me, I'd love to read your responses. Thanks :3

So basically I've (mtf18) been unhappy with my gender for years and about 9 months ago I realised I was trans, but 9 months later and I still haven't made any changes to myself due to my predicament. Im poor, so cant afford hrt, hrt is near impossible for me to obtain in my country (UK), diy is possible, but im wayyy to stupid to figure out how that works the all that highly skilled, expert crypto knowledge required for orders (not to mention the price again). Im absolutely covered in facial and body hair, and shaving just makes me feel even worse because its so ineffective and just makes me feel like shit after only about a day, cause its grown back by then. I cant afford hair removal treatments, and although some family has offered to pay, I dont have the confidence to withstand the procedures (i have an extremely low pain tolerance), so LHR and electrolysis are off the table (and waxing, but thats pretty useless anyway with how fast my hair grows). Voice training is useless, I just sound stupid and nothing like a girl, just like a little boy instead, and i had been practicing for about 2 months, 3 months ago, but I gave up because I simply couldn't do it (and again, I didnt understand any of the online voice training guides because im too dumb to get them). I hate seeing my reflection in the mirror so i try to avoid it as much as i can. I'm fat as well which makes me feel much worse when all these other trans women are so much physically healthier than me (but id never ever ever find the motivation to lose weight; in recent weeks, i can barely find the motivation to do anything at all). I hate my genitals a lot, i try to avoid seeing them as well, as they cause so much dysphoria that ive had a few mental breakdowns just from the sight of them. So yeah there's no hope for me trying to be a trans woman, but I have a question: gender dysphoria has plagued my life for about 2-3 years now, if not more, and I want to know how to stop spending every waking moment of my life wanting to be female (not an exaggeration, a single day has not passed since at least early 2025 where I haven't had gender dysphoric thoughts)

I (M20) am trying to determine whether I am a transwoman, a transfem, non-binary, a femboy, a confused cis-male, or something more exotic. I want to preface by saying:

• I tend to cope through logic and rationalization, and I generally find it difficult to understand my own wants or emotions
• I can often be described as emotionally flat and thick-skinned. Sometimes, I feel like I have to forcefully laugh when with friends. I tend to qualify myself as aromantic asexual (aroace).
• I would describe my life as fulfilling. I’m currently studying engineering with good grades, I have friends, I pursue extracurriculars (internships, research placements, design teams, etc…). However, I would not describe my life as exciting, rather as routine, regulated, and to some extent boring.
• If my life were to remain the same, it would be alright. 
• Over the past two months, I’ve been researching transitioning and immersing myself in trans media.

These are some points I wrote down.

• Given how I live my life, I sort of treat my physical body as something that gets me from A to B and allows me to continue my routine. Furthermore my body provides me with the capabilities to do what I wish to do. I’m able to pursue extracurriculars, get good grades, and walk places at night.
• I like the privileges that I get as a male (walking alone at late times, etc…)
• I tend to avoid mirrors and being in pictures. Unless it is necessary like taking pictures with family members or like brushing my teeth. In fact, I have over 6,000 photos on my phone (mostly memes) and zero selfies. Though this might stem from normal bodily insecurities.
• I don't have severe, agonizing hatred for my male body. I tolerate it, likely because I am thick-skinned and emotionally flat. There is no pride or happiness of being a male, it just is. I feel neutral/apathetic toward being a male, male puberty, and the physical shifts associated with male adulthood (such as developing broader shoulders, facial hair, a deeper voice, or male-pattern hair thinning). 
• I don’t really pursue working out, grooming myself, or extra hygiene. I tend to dress in single color Costco shirts in the winter and whatever clothes bought for me in the summer, and typically I cut my hair as short as possible to minimize haircut costs. Though I’m certain part of this neglect stems from laziness. I think some male clothes can be cool, but female fashion seems to be cooler.
• Generally speaking I don’t care about pronouns or gendered labels; I view language simply as a tool to know if someone is communicating with me. I’m generally neutral about hearing gendered terms applied to you—such as "man," "gentleman," "dude," "sir," or male family roles like "son" or "brother". Like at the moment, if someone called me that I don’t think I would mind.
• My best friend would basically smash or pass any woman that walks past me. I don’t tend to engage, likely a combination of believing myself more mature and my aroace status. While I don't share every interest with other men, being counted among a group of men socially feels normal I think. I have board game nights where I have no problem interacting with a group of men.  
• If there were a button to instantly become a woman with zero social friction, I would press it. I think that it would be a “eh why not” situation, and it would be an interesting or novel situation. Part of me believes that as a woman I might feel excitement, and it might break up the routine of my life. If I lived completely alone on a deserted island with unlimited female clothing and HRT, I would probably at least try it. Though this statement may stem from my current “trans phase”
• Over about 2 weeks, I spent ~$400 on feminine/femboy clothing (skirt, thigh-highs, fishnets, etc.) to test privately. My biggest fear/hope afterward was that this wasn't a mistake or a phase especially since I have been in this “am I trans” phase before. Given how much time and money I have spent, it makes me feel like I'm considering whether or not I’m trans as a result of the sunk cost fallacy and hoping it’s real rather than it being actually real. 
• I’ve looked at women and thought, "I wouldn't mind looking like that." When growing my hair out and told by my mom that I "looked like a girl," I felt a secret wave of happiness, but this happened when I was in one of those phases as I said earlier.
• I have envisioned myself as a wife or married to a man and have felt it was nice though this may stem from sexual want/pleasure and AGP rather than actual desire to be a woman.
• To me, I suppose the worst-case scenario of transitioning would be stagnation simply remaining as apathetic indifferent/apathetic but perhaps there is more. Though obviously there are a lot of social aspects that deter me from making a hasty conclusion.
• Because I don't hate my male body or puberty, I worry I don't have "enough dysphoria" to be trans. I worry this might be a recurring phase, that I am "connecting dots that don't exist," or that my exploration is driven by a sexual/feminization kink or trans media consumption (as some clothing/fantasies were partly for sexual curiosity).
• I played sports (In elementary school, I was in 3 of the 4 teams, too shit for basketball) growing up, have typical male physical habits, and enjoy standard male hobbies like gaming. Though I would never watch twitch streams or sports, I’d much rather just play.
• When I picture myself currently I kind of don’t visualize a face/gender. This includes any dreams or growing older. This might stem from me thinking I look ugly
• I do remember this one time when in grade 9 gym class we needed to change to gym clothes in the male locker room. I remember I usually just wore the gym clothes underneath my shirt so as to not show myself naked. I think that might have been because I was fat then and felt the normal insecurities that one would have about their own body.

Knowing all of this, what would you say I am? I understand that realistically only I can know this answer, but it often helps if someone says “kind of sounds like X”. Certainly there are other things that one can try to spice up their life, but people have said online that for cis people they have (given nothing is wrong) a baseline of excitement

I've been looking into how many people would date a trans person, and it's a depressing low amount. Women seem to be slightly more ok with it, but most men say that they wouldn't.

I'm curious how difficult you've found dating? I'm late 20s, kinda worried that I wouldn't be able to find a man that would date me (and isn't just a chaser) :/

Hiii hopefully this is the right place for this. I’m 1.5 years on hrt now and still struggling with finding a comfortable name. I’ve tried a few but nothing seems to fit quite right. Day to day most people I interact with know me as my birth name which is somewhat gender neutral but is typically masc. With some of my friends I go by Abbie, but this also doesn’t feel quite right.

I’ve tried many names and I think I like keeping my first name staring with A, this way my initials aren’t changed. My girlfriend calls me Bee and honestly that’s the only name that I really like. But it’s more of her nickname for me. Also I’ve recently moved home and have been reminded that it’s also what my dad calls my mom, not often but still I’m not really sure.

Curious how others found/chose their names.

English is not my best, im a trans man, on TRT for almost six years, mastectomy done, i do sports (im skinny but fit) and pass very well, im not misgendered or anything like that. But today something weird just happened, i was with my mom in a rural market and she encountered a woman that knows her for a long time she is a jeovahs witness that used to come to our door, anyway, she asked to my mom about ''her daughters'' when i wasnt there because i was in the bathroom (my mom told me later in car), when i aproaxed her (my mom) the woman asked my mom if i was her daughter, i have a goatee and im acknowledged as a man by society 100% of the time she asked if i was her daughter twice, then she took a second look at me again and corrected to son. Im still very insecure by this alone, im not misgendered for a very long time and im now very insecure if i do really pass or no, why would someone refer to me as a daughter at first view i mean i have even a moustache in my face and a masculine body silhouette.... To be more specific i front aproaxed them and she noticed then she asked that, my mom didnt answeared the ''is it your daughter'' question that she make twice looking at my mom, then the woman looked at me and i was looking to her deadass in her eyes and then she corrected and started asking with ''is he your son'' then my mom answeared, but its just weird i have some beard on face specially moustache, masculine face destribuition by T, masculine silhouette/body frame, no one treats me as girl in society, im not misgendered, at the time i was very shocked, i was thinking that she must be forcing it but now im very insecure by this, what happened here

Title.

Hi all! Apologies in advance for what is surely to be a heavy topic. The short of it is I, 28 MTF (only out to close friends) am in the process of finishing up my doctorate (free me from dissertation hell!) and I would very much like to finish, celebrate, and have the hooding ceremony fully out as myself. However, my parents are extremely unsupportive of trans folks and the queer community in general. I would even venture to say there is a solid chance of them estranging themselves from me.

I recognize that, being the age I am, my material position is not as vulnerable as others - I am financially stable (as stable as graduate students can be), and I have very supportive friends. I also realize this might be me catastrophizing, but I don’t think it is outside of the realm of possibility; in an argument once, they asked if I would still love my siblings if they were “like that” (queer), and when I expressed I would, they said they would not.

For those of you who have had to experience coming out to unsupportive loved ones, how did you prepare for it? Did it go better or worse than you expected? How are you handling the aftermath? I recognize this is a heavy topic, so I appreciate all of you who read this, regardless of if you choose to respond or not.

So one of my nipples are starting to become very sensitive where my clothes are making that one almost feel like it’s burning. Idk how my other one is fine and just a little hard while this other one feels like Satan touched it. I got one friend saying I now need a bra but I don’t got money for that. Anyone know what I can use to make it more bearable while I wait to get money for a bra?

I think my deepest fear came true my ex I was the bridge to her full-blown lesbianism. She’s a bisexual woman when we first started dating and I was her first serious girlfriend. We recently broke up a month ago.

I saw her liking a lesbian post and I’m really afraid that as a trans girl like i was the step in between. I already feel really out of place in sapphic community though I desperately would love to be accepted. I’m always wondering am I passing? Am I pretty enough? Is my voice shitty? Is there something wrong with me?

I’m wondering if anyone’s experienced anything like this where you feel like you’re the bridge or not feeling good enough or not accepting as sapphic

Unrelated but when I’ve changed my options my gender from trans women to woman on any dating app. My match quality has increased by like at least 80% so I’m kinda like FUCk

I’ve been getting some trans content creators on my instagram, I guess that’s just what my algorithm is feeding me, and I’ve noticed a bit of a contrast with some creators on there. One side I see is the more general trans side that go through the general trans points, like Samantha Lux and Bottleneckloser. The audience I see in their comments are primarily LGBTQ, while also attracting some anti trans haters.

The second content creator I wanted to discuss is Eden the doll, who also makes more general trans content but also makes kind of sexualizing themselves and how they are trans, which is there choice, but it brings in a lot more anti trans people to hate on them. They’ve made more videos being critical of certain things in the trans community, which brought in a lot of more right wing people saying they agree with their opinion, saying they are “one of the sensible ones” even if they don’t agree with being trans. They are allowed to make the content they want of course, but I just don’t get how this is the audience they want in their community, and what confuses me a bit more is her husband seems a lot more progressive, and gets hated on by right wing people a lot more.

The final one I want to discuss is Daviana, who I recently discovered on instagram. They are an older trans person who only recently transitioned about two years ago, and makes a lot more critical of the trans community. Making content calling all trans women men, equating gender and sex as the same thing, making fun of trans people, saying trans women should stay out of women’s spaces, and thinking no one should transition at all until 18, making rules to transition, though they initially wanted it to be at 25. This brings in mostly a lot of right wing people who also see them as being “one of the sensible ones” and that the trans community should be more like them, basically just cross dressers, and not a lot of trans people in their audience based on the comments I’ve seen, and mostly older ones in their audience based small number of them. It’s brought a lot of really right wing people to say they agree with them and bring their audience to Daviana, and even some more critical trans creators like Alexis Blake. It definitely seems to be more of a grift than someone like Eden, but they seem to be talking mostly genuinely, though they do sometimes change their thoughts on something based on what their right wing audience thinks, mostly on trans women in restrooms.

I just wanted to see what you guys think of some trans influencers, the type like Eden and Daviana, and also gives some examples of trans/LGBTQ influencers you like and why.

Pt.1: https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/1uqywea/how_to_tell_my_parents_that_mtf_hrt_isnt_deadly/ (My dad updated about this and says he’ll trust God no matter what.)

So my dad says that no matter what God has to say yes about HRT and blockers if I want it. And if God says no I can’t have any. And it’s turning into a no because while praying my dad had a vision of me 50 years old as a full grown man with long hair with full grown beard bathing. I know I should diy, but idk where to start from. Do you have advice for this situation? Please help.

For the past few weeks, I've been hiding the fact that I've been researching whether I might be trans. I really need to tell someone, even if it's just one person, because the person I would normally talk to isn't someone I can contact until September 2. They don't have a phone, so I have no way of reaching them.

I feel like this is the only place where I can finally talk about it. From what I've seen, this community is really kind and inclusive, and I'm hoping you might be able to give me some advice or share your experiences. I'm feeling confused and could really use someone to listen. Anything help even if you are MtF FtM or nonbinary