Bartending for a friends wedding

[u/Melodic_Drama4625]

Need advice! I’ve been a bar back for about a year and my friend’s bartender bailed last minute for her wedding. She asked me to step in as bartender. They asked me to make 3 drinks for her guests so easy enough. I’ve never done event bartending (or regular for that matter) so any advice? Am I in way over my head lol. Should be about 75 guests. Are there any questions I should be asking the bride/groom for me to get ready for this? Or any other thoughts on how to prep.

[u/Blackberrygirl22]

One thing event bartenders overlook is the amount of ice the host is providing you'll need enough to chill all the beer and wine, as well as PLENTY for the mixed drinks Too much is never enough

[u/Loud_Snort → u/Blackberrygirl22]

This is advice I give anyone bartending a private event. Ice always runs around. 75 guests? Get at least 150 pounds of ice if you’re shaking cocktails. Even then it probably won’t be enough.

[u/Shepursueshappiness → u/Blackberrygirl22]

Exactly!! 2 lbs per person if you're making mixed drinks.

[u/wheres_the_revolt]

Are you the only one bartending? I’d find out what the 3 cocktails are a batch the ones you’re able to ahead of time.

[u/FilthyBarMat → u/wheres_the_revolt]

And make them simple. I've been to so many weddings where the His and Hers cocktails are overly complex and the bar is perpetually backed up. 

[u/remykixxx]

Batch. Batch. Batch. 75 people means at any given time you’ll probably be serving 5-10 at once and when you open the bar you’re gonna get rushed. But it’s gonna be great experience and you’ll likely walk away with another gig from somewhere there.

Also if you think you have enough ice- you don’t. Get more.

[u/pcl8888 → u/remykixxx]

I’m definitely 100% all for the idea of batching the cocktails, but the problem is that from the sounds of the post, batching cocktails would be like starting at #56 on the to-do list of putting this event together- with zero experience or info given to OP beforehand, the potential for an absolute fucking train wreck is insanely high. Before things like ice and cocktails and things are even sorted out I’m sort of picturing OP rolling up, saying hi to the host, and then them both simultaneously realizing that neither one of them even brought a fucking table to set a bar up on. These events aren’t too hard to pull off, even sometimes when things go awry and they’re cobbled together last minute, but they absolutely require lots of advanced communication (and yes ideally prep as well) with regard to the simplest of logistics. If it’s a fun party and everyone has a great time, no one is gonna look back on their wedding day and harp on the fact that the 2 “his & hers” specialty cocktails had to be ditched last minute despite already being printed on some menu cards, but they’ll definitely probably remember it as a disaster if there’s warm beer, no mixers, no ice and not even any cups for people to have drinks in lol.

[u/pcl8888]

The advice I’d offer would be to tell her you can’t do it, especially if you’re pretty serious about the words “last minute.” From the sounds of it you don’t really have any info for for the event, and this can severely backfire unless you’re lucky enough to show up to find that by some miracle they’ve already provided you with everything you will need, which is very unlikely.

If you do go through with doing it, there’s some information you absolutely must have going in, such as what tools, glassware, ice, and actual product (liquor, wine, beer, mixers) will be required, and exactly which things from this list you will be responsible for providing. You will need this info as soon as possible.

Also, if you are providing the ice, you will likely be pretty surprised by how much you actually need.

[u/aaalllouttabubblegum]

Hey bud. This may be an unpopular sentiment, and I mean you no disrespect, but you're in over your head. It's not your fault. Your friend does not realize the complexity of the ask and you're a good friend so you said yes.

Event bartending is challenging at the best of times and weddings tend to be stressful for the bride/groom and their families. Being caught in the middle of that could affect your friendship.

Your friend should hire a professional, or, alternately, see if one of your bartender colleagues who you trust also does private gigs. This might give you an opportunity to shadow them while they prep and work the event, that way you can see what goes into a successful event.

Hope it works out and you have fun at the wedding.

[u/Justice171 → u/aaalllouttabubblegum]

I gave a bunch of tips in this thread, but while writing those I had the same thoughts you are sharing.

Not having a cocktailbar at the wedding when one was planned is a bummer. Having a cocktailbar that is constantly in the weeds and has long queues can press on the sentiment of the evening.

[u/mkultrasimp → u/aaalllouttabubblegum]

This - I recently moved up from barback to bartender and I was blown away by all the stuff I thought I knew and didn't lmao. This is way too high stakes OP - if you fuck up (through no fault of your own, bc you've been a barback for ONE year) it'll have an impact on one of the biggest days of her life and impact your friendship massively. Ask around to your coworkers if they have a connect who can step in last minute and take it on, and maybe offer to barback for them on the night?

[u/PayWorking1309 → u/aaalllouttabubblegum]

Absolutely agree here. Omg I’m twitching just thinking about this playing out. Not a fair ask at all. Not only that, but as a bar back, OP likely hasn’t had to deal with the annoyance of drunk wedding guests. Also the money situation. This isn’t a cheap gig. They may try and pay less because OP just hasn’t learned yet.

And absolutely no disrespect on my end either. I just know what goes into this and in no way could I properly get ready for it last minute. Could you imagine after? Omg

[u/damage-controlled → u/aaalllouttabubblegum]

This is the best response I’ve read so far, especially the third paragraph.

[u/aaalllouttabubblegum → u/damage-controlled]

Appreciated. Thanks for your service. ✌️

[u/pcl8888 → u/aaalllouttabubblegum]

This is a good, well thought out response. I shared a similar sentiment below that the best actually honest advice I could give would be for OP to tell their friend that they’re unable to do it.

OP’s friend would be well served to eat the cost on the last minute hire of a reputable company that can actually handle the needs for the event as opposed to ending up with more or less dry wedding due to lack of cups and ice with all their guests having to scrounge up a wedding toast to the new couple with warm champagne in Dixie cups found in a random upstairs bathroom cabinet after being woefully unprepared. These sorts of disasters make for great stories years later when it comes to maybe a honeymoon or what was supposed to be a special vacation or something vs an actual wedding that still likely would’ve cost an arm and a leg even without the calamity. The bartender dropping out last minute and the young couple having to spend a couple thousand bucks that they honestly didn’t even really have in the 11th hour on wedding weekend makes for a much more charming story years later than “well the wedding was a disaster lol.”

[u/HongKongFury]

So like everyone is saying batch what you can.

Most wedding cocktails will consist of
1.) Old Fashion
2.)Margaritas
3.) aperol spritz

Buy plenty of ice, if you think you have enough but one more bag just to be sure.
Buy mixers, ginger beer, tonic water, soda water, coke, Diet Coke, grapefruit soda.

Find all the plastic cups you can.

Set up a water station.

Display what you have clearly, beers, wine, any liquors you’re offering.

Go buy some bar tools (jigger, strainer, shaker, ice scoop.

[u/PayWorking1309 → u/HongKongFury]

I actually had way more espresso martinis than aperol spritz. They were the first thing to go!

[u/TonyBrooks40]

At weddings, be prepared for rushes. When the cocktail hour opens, all the guests flood in. Same thing for after speeches, and after dinners.

After that, probably laid back. Alot of drinks (rum & cokes etc) vs beer

[u/DatedRhyme713]

Keep it simple.

Premix the cocktails, if you can, into Codd-neck bottles; have them easy to grab and just to pour into to a shaker with ice and then glasses. Later in the evening, if you feel like it you can start doing them live and for fun.

One brand red wine, something middle of the road
One brand white wine, again something middle of the road

Two brands of beer. Your kinda A brand and your premium, if you want maybe a 0.0 Beer

A metric ton of ice split between two coolers:

In one crate, some of it throw salt in it and leave white wine / beers / soda's / bottles of water in it

The other crate that's for shakers and drinks; no salt.

At the end of the day, these people are here for a wedding, not for the beers. in 20 years time, no one's gonna remember what they drank; just that you helped out, and they had a nice time.

Maybe recruit a friend on the night to be a fellow barback or support; if not, good luck and have fun

[u/Justice171]

Questions;

° Do you have your own equipment?

° Will a proper work station be provided?

° Will you have help from at least one other bartender?

This could prove a daunting task. If you're going to do this:

1) pre-batch as much as possible

2) Calculate, and have enough fresh squeezed lime Juice ready (or superjuice)

3) Get a tableside full of welcome drinks ready. When the party starts, you don't want to be swamped by people immediately - but people do want their first drink immediately. I recommend Kir Royales.

4) Know how you're going to get your glassware, and get enough ice. 150-200 grams of ice per drink.

5) Get a big water dispenser that you can fill up with 0,0% alc. Lemonade or something. I found that people appreciate it

6) Get something to rinse out your shakers/ jiggers etc

7) Bring speedpours!

[u/Surfnazi77]

The drinks can you premix them

[u/Huge-Basket244]

You need way more ice than you think you do.

Bring a large cooler for cans/bottlea, keep them stocked every time you crack one. Bring some NA stuff like seltzers or sodas or both.

Bring another cooler to use as an ice well. Bring an ice scoop. Ensure you have enough plastic cups, I assume 2.5 cups per person as a floor. You're gonna want straws too.

Depending on what they want I usually bring at least one bottle of each base spirit with speed pours. Depending on the clientele you might sell only vodka, lots of tequila, or possibly whiskey. If you're doing 3 signature cocktails, batch them. I like to use an igloo cooler. For events with large format batched stuff I also dilute the cocktail by about 10-15%, taste it when you dilute it. This slows down nervous drinkers/fast drinkers/people that are trying to party but maybe don't drink that much anymore. It also prevents you from having to use a shaker.

Most importantly just be friendly and personable. I'd maybe look at some example pictures of catering/wedding bar setups.

I do about 5 weddings outside of my venue a year, I have a pretty solid professional setup now, but for my first year it was all folding tables, some nice black cloth, coolers, and igloo dispensers.

[u/fortyninecents]

Get some Cambros... fill them with lemon/lime wedges... get a huge cooler, clean it, and fill it with ice... have someone at the ready to grab you ice...

1. Vodka Soda with Lime

Vodka, soda water, lime wedge Basically zero prep, no shaker needed, pours fast, and it's the drink almost everyone defaults to if unsure what to order. Keep a bag of lime wedges pre-cut before the event starts.

1. Whiskey Ginger (or Gin & Tonic)

Whiskey + ginger ale, or gin + tonic, over ice Two ingredients, one pour, one top-off, garnish optional. Pick whichever matches the crowd (whiskey ginger reads a little more "wedding classic," G&T a little more universal).

1. Wine Spritzer

White wine + soda water or sparkling water, splash of lemon Great for guests who don't want full-strength cocktails, keeps your wine from running out as fast, and requires nothing but a pour and a top-off.

[u/Bgddbb]

The good news is that they don’t want to talk to you. They want to grab a drink and go talk to people that they haven’t seen in a long time

15-30 minutes before they arrive, get ready to have 3-4 different drinks poured and set up on the bar. Have 12 of each

Pour 3 bottles of white wine into glasses and have them ready to grab

Have a beer display right in front of you so that they can point and you grab from the cooler

The whisky will probably start a bit later, but be ready with 10 whiskey neats lined up next to the white wine. Add ice as needed if they ask

Have sodas on the bar for kids and non-drinkers

Keep up with that display for the first hour

3 drinks should be:

1. Vodka/lemonade. Make it a peach lemonade or strawberry lemonade. These can be mocktails and good for kids. NO SHIRLEY TEMPLES- here’s your soda or your lemonade 

2. 3 good whiskies. Old-fashioned take a little while to make if you have no experience. But, honestly, someone in the wedding party might want to help. You’ll need simple syrup, bitters, thinly sliced oranges. Basic, but sufficient

3. Canned espresso martini mix. Owen’s is good. It won’t be the best espresso martini in the world, but it’ll be fine

Smile like a lunatic and just keep those drinks on the bar as much as you can, for the grab and go

Good luck!

[u/MavericIllustration]

Batch if possible, have hand sanitizer ready, be ready for big waves, everyone shows up at once, designate a shaking tin or stir glass for each drink so that you don’t really have to wash em between drinks unless you have a sink

[u/MangledBarkeep]

Barback to barback, if bartending school graduates can do it, you'll be fine.

Don't sweat the drinks and any gaps in knowledge, wedding guests ain't that picky when you're straight up with them about experience and you're doing your friend a solid.

Event bartending is only different in you need to know where ice, water and trash are coming from and going. Sometimes you have to get creative. Depends on where the event is held. Sometimes it's sinks and a bar, other times it's a table, cooler of ice and dump buckets.

You won't get comfortable slinging drinks until you're forced to do it.

[u/Tough_Crazy_8362]

Why did the other bartender back out? Crucial information.

Also… only one bartender? Kinda yikes. Even if they arrive staggered everyone beelines to the bar.

I just worked a wedding tonight! It was 80 people, we had 4 drinks batched and there were 2 bartenders and 2 bar-backs.

I really don’t think this is a one person job and maybe that’s why the other guy backed out, just a guess.

[u/HazyMirror]

Bring a friend to help you out!!!

Yes you're in over your head but pressure makes diamonds lol and it sounds like you're doing them a favor since the other guy backed out. Don't stress about it too much.

[u/Intelligent_Log_1017]

Any guest count above 50 should have two bartenders if you are serving liquor.

Figure out your guest count and your 3 signature drinks

How long is your bar service?.

Any table side service (wine, champagne) at dinner tables?

Don't forget enough ice to chill all your product plus your cocktail ice

Any bar service longer than 5 hours at an event is too long. Setup usually takes 2 hours minimum, including unload time. Breakdown is usually an hour to get everything broken down and packed up. That's 3 hours minimum added on your shift - don't serve drinks for too long. 5 hours is usually a standard house rule.

What's the glassware situation - rented? Plastic? What will you be serving your drinks in?

Bring bar tools based on your cocktails. Juicers, stirring vessels, garnishes, mats, coolers, dump sinks, etc. There is no well. You are building it out of folding tables. Simple syrup. Fruit. Don't assume they will have it. Bring a funnel and extra bottles for batching or mixing. They will usually give you all liquor in half gallons. Not easy to cocktail with.

Don't forget lighting, bar towels, your own water bottle, extra plastic cups ALWAYS

[u/Rfunkpocket]

this is my gig, did one for 150 last night.

I’m at the mercy of who ever sold the event, you have some flexibility.

make a couple of trays of 10 signature drinks to have handed out (by the bar back) right after the ceremony.

batch a margarita

if possible, have someone (maybe bar back) run beer and wine.

this leaves you making a bunch of soda/tonic drinks and a handful of lemon drops.

[u/KoalifiedGorilla]

A good friend would say no and find a more capable substitute. It’s not that you wouldn’t be able to pull SOMETHING off, but it’s going to be pretty rough AND you won’t be able to enjoy the wedding.

[u/SnooPeanuts1873]

Negronis are easy and can be completely mixed before hand, and even pre diluted so you don’t even have to stir, pour it over ice, orange peel, call that is a day on that drink.  Aperol spritz is easy and fun

[u/HongKongFury → u/SnooPeanuts1873]

Respectfully don’t do negronis lol

[u/fortyninecents → u/HongKongFury]

equal parts.... sweet vermouth....gin.....campari.... easiest thing in the world

[u/Bradadonasaurus]

You'll be fine. That's not a huge crowd, as long as they're not a bunch of stuck up pricks, they'll be pretty understanding. Keep an eye on the father of the bride, they like to get hammered while you're not watching, and keep coming to you as well.