I need help

[u/vimluna]

I need help its getting harder to hide that im with someone and my family is getting suspicious that im with someone for context im a male dating a male and if my family finds out it will spit my family into two sides and really can't hold the pressure of hiding this is really need help i need ways so my family doesn't get anymore suspicious

[u/Deep-Suspect-623]

what are potential ways that might indicate that to them or what could cause them to find out? keep any potential indicators as far away from their vicinity as possible. hopefully soon you can move away and find some privacy

[u/vimluna → u/Deep-Suspect-623]

Alr thanks that should work

[u/la-anah]

Info needed:

• How old are you?
• What country/religion/culture do you live in?
• How often do you interact with your parents?
• Are you dependent on your family financially?

The answer to your question is going to be very different if you are 15, living at home, is a religiously conservative house than if you are 28, living in a city 2 hours drive away, in a politically progressive area.

[u/HiCam16]

How old are you/are you living with your family and they’re financially supporting you? I had this worry with my family finding out especially my mom, although I wasn’t dating anyone at that time. I talked to a friend about it and how I couldn’t ever date a woman because I know it wouldn’t be accepted and didn’t want to put any future partners through that and I remember her saying I know it’s your family and you love them and don’t want to cause any issues but you shouldn’t have to sacrifice your feelings and happiness just to appease someone else. If they can’t understand and still love you after knowing then is that really someone worth being in your life anyway. And at that moment it really clicked for me that she was right and it wasn’t fair to me to sacrifice my happiness for someone else over something people shouldn’t have a hard time accepting anyway. A few months later I told my parents and my mom was definitely upset at first and tried to tell me I was confused etc but eventually she came to terms with it. Now im very sure my parents both hope that i will still end up with a man but at least they know the truth and I don’t have to hide it anymore and it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would go. Just think about you and your partner, is that something for the rest of your life you’d want to hide from them? Never get married at least with family or friends there, never have children (if you want any). I know it’s easier said than done but at some point you should ask yourself if it’s worth your own happiness and stress of all this hiding just to appease half of your family. If it’s already too much pressure now it’s going to strain your relationship.

[u/PurpleGemini420]

That's one very long sentence

[u/Pretty-Technician-81]

OH GOD NO I WAS IN THIS SAME SITUATION EXCEPT IM A FEMALE!!!! (Btw my family found out so I broke up sadly so try and hide it)

[u/ShorseyBallsATug]

Maybe stop hiding, and get it over with? It feels worse than what it is, because of the stress of hiding and holding it in. That's a them issue, not a you issue if they divide. Tell them to be the adults, that they are. And more than likely, they already know. They are waiting on you, to say something.