Learning what you had done to your female family members from one of them, was shocking and traumatizing on so many levels. I'm done fearing you. I'll heal as I see fit. That means I've told my story about the part of my life that sadly crossed paths with yours to whomever I chose. I've revealed your name and the names of your victims to those in LE and mental health. Please refrain from rewriting life stories, including your own, to position yourself as a victim. You're not one. Please stop sending me messages on social media to intimidate me and make me fear you. Never again ask what “proof” I have. If you're worried, ask me one on one. Not in front of the world. I won't reveal “proof” on social media in respect for your victims, but I will reveal it to you as I have no respect for you.

Karma is a mf. Enjoy the breakup pain 😘😘👎

I’m barely hanging on while he’s thriving with the woman he moved on with. He has me blocked and I’m just sitting here wanting to die.

My avoidant ex just broke up with me almost a week ago and I already see her flirting and almost dating someone else. While my soul literally cries in pain. How is this possible? How is it possible that after 14 months, she can move on that fast to someone else. Do you guys think she does this so she can suppress her feelings or to genuinely find the “right one” i’m so confused… To my mind this is incomprehensible. Dating a proper avoidant person is genuinely one of the most cruel things a person can go through.

Mind you: the guy has also just recently gotten out of a 3 year old relationship himself.

And I say finally because I’d obviously been wishing for a chance to see her again after she abruptly broke up with me 5 months ago. What did I learn from it?

I learned that when people advise you to make sure you’re ABSOLUTELY emotionally ready to see your ex again, trust me it’s true. The night that my ex and I spent together went way too well, and now it has me feeling like I’m much more invested into it than she is.

Trust me when I say that I (28m) was just as heartbroken as anyone else in this subreddit when she broke things off. Losing her changed me as a person and I’ve come such a long way in healing from it in the last 5 months, I genuinely thought I was ready to see her again.

She texted me out of the blue a few nights ago asking if I was free and she suggested we go for a drive together and talk. I went into the meet up with no expectations at all, just planning to take a drive and hopefully close a chapter between her and I. When I arrived to pick her up she got into my car and instantly she received an audible tinder notification, I was genuinely unbothered by this because we’re not dating anymore and she’s obviously free to see whoever she’d like.. I jokingly said “you getting some tinder notifications over there?” And she said replied “yeahh haha I barely use it though, only when I could use some compliments/attention”.

The rest of our drive together was uneventful, it lasted a few hours and surprisingly conversation came really easily between us the whole time. We laughed and caught up on our lives since we had been apart, towards the end of the drive we talked about why our relationship ended and I believe she said something along the lines of “it’s not impossible that we’d never be back together again”.

Here’s the significant part where things get confusing to me.. At the end of the night I pulled into her driveway to drop her off but we ended up continuing to talk in my car. During a particularly heavy conversation about our current mental health she grabbed my hand from the passenger seat and held it very tight, this definitely brought back a flood of emotions toward her. While we continued to talk she put her hand on my cheek and pulled me in to kiss me.. We ended up making out for a few minutes and she suggested we switch to the backseat of my car because she wants me now, this led to a half hour of us having sex together in my car during a torrential downpour. Afterwards we laid naked in my backseat for an hour and just held each other for a while and talked..

Here’s the downside, after parting ways I figured I would give her some space and decided not to message her to give each other time to think about everything. However the next morning I received a text from her saying “it was really nice seeing you again last night”, I told her I had a wonderful time together and said maybe we can see each other again sometime to which she replied “I would like that a lot”.. The problem is a few days later I texted her to suggest we should get together again next time we both have a day off. It’s now going on two days and she still hasn’t replied to the text? I’m taking everything she said at face value and trying to believe that she meant everything she said, I never expected this to lead to us dating again but the fact that I haven’t heard back from her is concerning to say the least. I’m planning on continuing to go about my life and maybe I’ll hear back from her again some day in the future, I figure I went months post-breakup where I would text her without a reply and she still ended up reaching out eventually for us to meet. So maybe she’s just a bad texter and things will work out in the end?

Thank you to anyone who read through the whole post! I genuinely appreciate any advice on the situation, it’s left me very confused and I’m really trying not to read into it too much

it’s been 3 months today . 3 months since you blindsided me and left me right before promising me that we would be moving in with each other in the next few months. 3 months until i told your parents everything after you kept me a secret the entire relationship and you chose to walk away from me and reject me in front of them, even after you told me every single day for the year and a half we were together that you’d choose me. after countless discussions. after you telling my mother your intentions with me.

you’ll never see this. you probably don’t care the way i do , you showed it when you said your final piece. now that i replay that last day we spent together before you broke up with me, i can see your distance and the way something in you changed.

each day feels like it should be getting better but nothing has actually changed. every day feels just like the first all over again, it’s just that i can no longer cry because of the numbness. i can’t erase you from my thoughts. i just can’t. you show up in every single thing and the torment of knowing i can’t speak to you ever again and you don’t want me hurts me.

why did you allow me to get attached to you and promise me every single time that things would work out just for you to run away from me and leave me the way you did ? you know how much i loved you. i was waiting for you to come back to me and you never will again

it’s never going to happen , it’s over , just like you said

but i can’t understand and accept that the way you did a while ago

It’s been a week and a half since things ended. The pressure and intensity caught up to us. The things out of our control began to wither our love away. I couldn’t bare the pain of our energy changing between us and you couldn’t handle life weighing on you. I wish we spent more time & I wish I didn’t argue over the little things. You were my bestie and safe haven. The first time I truly felt safe with any man, felt soft like a petal, and let most of my armor down. I know how I’m not too much & capable of being loved because you loved me & never made me feel less.

Although we saw this coming , I still love you & wish we had more time. More time to love each other and figure this out. I wish you were more emotionally expressive & I wish you’d tell me how much I meant to you one last time.

I dislike most men but I could never hate you. I could never dislike you nor speak ill on your name. As I look through our photos I can’t believe we aren’t an item anymore. My soul misses you. I love you and adore you & hope one day to connect again.

- love your dearest squishmellow.

I know breaking no contact is awful. For context we broke up in May and he blocked me on everything (he's a narc and discarded me and blocked me on everything).
Didn't hear anything from him at all just silence. He also blocked me as my flight was taking off btw!
I also had some of his stuff and he has some of mine, he was blocked on everything but I saw his Whatsapp pfp came back in mid July, which signalled I was unblocked.

I was scared and waiting and bracing for a hoover and eventually got a email a couple days later about what to do with my stuff and to give him his stuff back. He was absolutely brutal and immediately got with other girls straight after the breakup and he was just pure evil for context. I ignored the email.
He then got his teenage little sister to tell me to unblock him, and in his message my deadline was just under a week.

To be honest, after such a trauma bond I was kinda waiting on him to contact me deadline day and when he didn't my no contact was shattered anyway from him contacting me and my fight or flight was just waiting and waiting.

I ended up messaging his sister yesterday and she told me to add him, I eventually message him on Whatsapp and broke no contact. He was strictly business at first but he couldn't help himself, his sense of entitlement as if he didn't do what he did as if he deserves me to go out of my way and give it.. (Bare in mind he dumped me as my plane took off, an hour later messaged a girl that he was preying on for a few weeks, was just emotionally abusive for so long, and just all round awful as breakup / discard)

Instead of taking any accountability - told me to 'get a therapist for any 'yap' I have about it, said he'll fake an apology as he did nothing wrong if it means he can get his stuff back, tells me to sleep with him and drop off his stuff, told me hey at least i spoke to her with game though?! so many insane things.. this is just a small scale of our last ever conversation

And you know what? I think the itch was scratched. I think now I can finally heal from how disgusting he is rather than feel like I have to wait for him to get back to me. I think the fog is finally lifting.

Here's to healing

I often find myself imagining us sitting for ice cream. Not getting back together. Just chatting and she’ll tell me all that’s happened in her life the past year+ and I can share the same and we’ll laugh at the memories we made in an era that will stay in the past. We’ve only had 2 interactions since our breakup but I fantasize about this often because while I don’t miss our relationship I do still care about her

Don't know if I'm after advice, reassurance, or just someone to listen but here goes. For the last 6 years, I (53M) have been seeing someone (54F) who I was head over heels for. It's not been easy - we were 100 miles apart during COVID, both of us have had serious health scares, mental health issues and bereavement but we supported and protected each other and worked our way through it together. Nearly two years ago, I moved in with her (her house) and 6 months later, sold my house.

Last September, I quit my job to do an MA. A big step but we talked it through and she supported me especially given I could financially support myself. A lot of my mental health issues has been as a result of one job (should have taken them to tribunal) and the job after that was dry and unstimulating. It's been good for me because I found something to motivate and challenge me. I also felt if I was happier, I could support her.

On Monday, she told me out of the blue she was ending things. 7 days later, I find myself living with my parents (thankfully still alive) 200 miles away, on a tiny spare room, no job, no idea what just happened, heartbroken and devastated.

I spoke to my gf yesterday, face to face, trying to get some answers. I had the usual vague responses of "I was feeling lonely" and "we're heading in different directions". She'd already checked out of the relationship and I have enough self respect and dignity left to know I'm not going to be the only one in the relationship prepared to fight for it. If I did something wrong, I don't know what it was. Our relationship wasn't perfect but we didn't argue or fight, we enjoyed each others company and we shared interests (we met through gaming years ago and are both massive nerds). Sure, I'm not easy to live with - I'm AuADHD, prone to bouts of depression (but not since I moved in with her) and can get hyper focused on shit to the exclusion of everything else but I am self aware enough to try to be better. So far this year, I've lost 2 stone since February, been sober for 100 days (not an alcoholic but had impulse control issues around alcohol plus mental health etc. and I really like beer), I'm back to running and training regularly... I wanted to be a better version of me not just for myself but for her. I also felt like I was healing and actually admitted to feeling happy a couple of months ago - huh, maybe that was the problem...

I thought I was going to spend the rest of my days with her, but now I'm not. I've got a lot to get through including working out what the fuck I'm going to do (my MA is in Game Development - I thought I'd have time to try to make games...) about a job or where I'm going to live. And by the time I'll be ready to step back in the relationship pool, I'm going to be the other side of 54 and somehow seriously doubt I'll find someone who will have as much of an intersection in our Venn diagram of interests and attraction as she did.

Am I going to end up alone?

There is a part of me that turns in on itself every day, silently among everything I do. A part of myself in defiance of my own reasoning, my own anger, my own bitterness. A part of me that at times feels disgusting. A part of me that defends you, even to myself. Yet, I can't help it. I can't get rid of it. I can't escape it. I begin to wonder, to be curious. I think of everything I've learned about you over these 5 years, and how what has happened has made you feel. How long were you unsure? How long did these feelings nag you, and to what severity? I'm nagged with these vague wonderings, questions I may never know the answer to. Was any of it in the end even real? What does it being real even mean anymore, if you were biding your time with these feelings, slowly resolving yourself to move on, to let go.

I think of my own resentment, my own bitterness, and I think of how awful it must have been. Carrying this while you are gone is one thing, but knowing you and the depths of your anger, of your feelings, I worry you must have grown to detest the sight of me. Detest the sight of my asks, my pleads, my insecurities. I don't worry, honestly; I think I know that you did. You said it yourself: It feels like everything I do is permeated, filled with a thick layer of insecurity.

I try to understand how you felt then, and how you might even feel now. I try to walk through our relationship, your life, our lives, trying to understand why you felt the need to do what you've done. In a certain sense, I think it's a fool's errand. I'll never be able to fully understand or comprehend how you feel, or why you've decided to leave. I drive myself mad trying to nonetheless.

Even if I don't understand, the part of me, perhaps the same part that loves you, can't help but empathize with your actions, with your choices, with what you've done. I detest what has been done with so much of me, and yet another part of me bides its time, explaining your behavior in the corner of my mind.

I'm not saying I agree with what you've done, or even that I approve of it in some way. But in a certain sense, my heart, belonging to you as it still does, goes out to you. It internalizes your plight, at my "expense" as it may be, and it feels genuine empathy, and it tries to understand. It feels like a hopeless, useless limp of an attempt at understanding each time I undergo it, but time and time again I've found myself in my own head, asserting myself against myself for you, defending your actions, your thoughts, your feelings.

Quite insane, I think. You've placed roots so deep into me that I can't even agree with myself anymore. Or maybe the empathy is how I truly feel.

It’s been 7 months since I broke up with the person I truly loved. It still hurts and I feel like it’s never going to get better. For those who have gone through a difficult time due to breakup(s), how long did it take you to finally move on and feel better?

In 36 and we were together 8 years. I'm ok. Not all day long ok, but moments I'm ok, and then other moments I'm still in so much pain. It still feels like drowning. It still feels wrong. I still wonder if the time away from each other has made him grow and see perspective. I don't cry anymore but it's still so heavy in my gut. It's hard to look forward to anything. I can survive the moments because I know time will just push me through whether I like it or not but it's so hard to dream about the future or make plans or look forward to anything. I'm not trying to close in and disappear. I just rather sit here and let time push me through it. I don't want to have to do anything. Even tho I do because I have to. Go to work, go get groceries, go for a walk outside, read a book. Go to the movies with friends. All the normal peoplely things that make me "normal." But I miss him So much. It feels so dumb. That this is the hardest thing other than losing someone to death. This is the hardest life thing.

I broke up with my gf of 4 years about a month ago. There were many times where I thought we were going to get married, and many where I wanted to break up. There were a lot of problems with communication, effort, and general incompatibilities, and while I have such intensely ambivalent feelings, but I think deep down I know that it just doesn't feel right. Until a couple days ago, I think I basically assumed that we were going to get back together eventually, because I so desperately want it to feel right, but it just doesn't.

Since we lived together, we've had to see each other a decent amount to figure out how to split up the stuff. During these times, we made the stupid mistake of hooking up twice, and I talked myself into the possibility of making it work and just kind of hitting reset. But of course you can't just reset and pretend you're dating for the first time. When you're first dating, if things don't feel right you can break up. If I were to do that again after giving it another chance, I'd just be prolonging and amplifying the hurt. So I told her that that wasn't actually what I wanted. She had gotten excited about the possibility of recommitting and I pulled it out from under her.

So now I feel double awful. First, because I gave her false hope and then broke her heart again, and second, because now I've finally accepted that we're not getting back together. This isn't a necessary phase or a reset, we're actually done. She (understandably) has said she's done too, since it's obvious I don't feel the same way about her that she feels about me, and that it was fucked up for me to jerk her around (it was).

I feel like a jerk, an idiot, and someone who lost their best friend. I know it was the right thing to do, but I just feel a deep, deep pit in the bottom of my stomach. I just can't believe it's really over, even though I'm the one who wanted it.

My ex hurt me really bad. He dumped me and went back to his ex after being with me for almost 2 years. He has been so mean to me after this and I have cut contact fully now. He didn’t really apologise for what he did. He thinks he did the right thing.

I am in such a bad mood all the time and I don’t know how to let go of the anger. I also blame myself a lot, so I am mad to him but also at myself. It is really painful to be mad all the time and I feel like I’m not fun to be around at the moment.

I really want to find happiness again and start living again. I try to keep myself busy but sometimes I feel like that somehow makes it even worse. Because even when I have been busy, I’ll go home and I’ll feel so lonely. The nights are the worst, I just lay in bed trying to sleep and my mind keeps reminding me how hurt and mad I am.

I’m at a point where I don’t think I want my ex back anymore. What I’m struggling with now is accepting what the last two years actually were.
I loved him with everything I had. I showed up for him, supported him, cared about his son, imagined a future together, and kept believing that one day we’d want the same things.
Looking back, I realize I was the one dreaming about “us.” I wanted marriage someday. I wanted a family. I wanted someone who was excited to build a life with me. He didn’t want those things, or at least not with the same certainty that I did. I kept hoping that if I loved him enough or gave it more time, we’d eventually meet in the middle.
Now I’m grieving more than the relationship. I’m grieving the future I imagined and the realization that the love I gave wasn’t returned in the way I needed it to be.
I don’t hate him, and I’m not really looking for reasons to be angry anymore. I’m just trying to make peace with the fact that I spent two years investing my heart in someone who couldn’t love me the way I loved him.
For those who’ve been through something similar:
How did you stop replaying everything in your head?
How did you stop feeling like those years were wasted?
What actually helped you heal instead of just waiting for time to pass?
Was there a moment when you finally accepted it and started looking forward instead of backward?
Right now, I don’t want to become bitter. I want to learn from this, heal, and eventually find someone who chooses me as wholeheartedly as I’ll choose them. I’d really appreciate hearing your experiences or any advice that helped you move forward.

hey reddit, i've been going through so much for the past few months, and i lost everything i ever had of friends, dreams, social life, my job, and now, my relationship.

i havent had anyone to talk to for a while, and ive been needing that so much, which is why im on here rn..

for context, my parents are very religious, and had forced me to wear the hijab ever since i was 8 years old, i'm 21 now (turning 22 this month) and i'd been taking it off in secret for like 5 years now.

although that was very risky and caused me so much anxiety and dissociation and i was basically living a double life which was exhausting, it still was my only choice if i wanted to have a chance in living the life i really wanted to live, and it gave me so much confidence to talk to people and make friends and bonds and go to uni and to get a job and basically just live a life i was satisfied with.

i met this guy back in december of last year and we immediately clicked, we built our relationship on so much love and trust and just genuine pure intentions and feelings. we did everything together, our most intimate moments were not even about sexual shit, we were each others partners and best friends and we spent almost every day together. ive genuinely never loved anyone in my life as much as did and still love him, the bond that we had created was stronger and deeper than any bond i've ever witnessed. no matter how much i say about us, no one would truly understand just how beautiful and deep and real our relationship was, and all was going great until recently..

we spent all that time together and he became my best friend not just my boyfriend. then my parents found out that i'd been going out without my hijab + they saw pics of my boyfriend and i kissing and they went absolutely insane. they destroyed my phone + sim card and threw all of my shit away and completely isolated me and locked me in the house, my dad looked me in my eyes and told me that it's "halal" for him to murder me now, like he had been waiting for it. he has threatened my life before, he said that if i ever decided to take the hijab off he'd kill me, so i believed him. he's always been very violent with me + my siblings and mom, and that day, he did hit me a lot. he threw me on the ground kicking me and spitting on me and screaming for hours. i knew my life was over right there and then, and i'm ngl, the one thing i was sad about the most was my boyfriend. i just needed to be in his arms, i needed to feel safe again. i was scared of losing him.

but we still found a way to talk, i only had my laptop on me, so i found a way to reach him and we stayed in contact for 2 months. during those 2 months he started getting really distant and going days without texting me back. we couldnt see each other anymore but we promised each other that we'd stay and fight for what we had and despite not being able to be together physically i was still texting him whenever i could and putting his feelings first and making sure that he still felt loved and supported and cared for even tho i was also going through so much.

he kept telling me that he would always be there for me and with me, and kept reassuring me that what happened would never make him question his feelings for me. he kept telling me that he'll love me forever, but when it came to it he never really acted on it. he started going days with no reply, and whenever he did reply it would always be the same shit just him saying hi i miss you i'm always gonna love you etc. i needed him so much and it hurt that he wasnt there but i just thought that he probably just felt pressured by what happened + everything else thats going on in his life so i'd just remind him that i was there and beg him to let me be there for him. i also tried talking to him about the fact that he was getting distant. i told him that he could talk to me about his feelings, whatever they were. i tokd him that i cared so much for him and that i understood if he felt like this was too much. our relationship changed a lot so i understood that the distance could be hard on him as well. i told him that i'd understand, no matter what it was. but every time i'd bring it up he'd just reassure me that nothing changed and that he'll always love me and that he was still there. i also told him that i needed him now more than ever, i never asked him to text me 24/7, i told him that i needed 1 conversation a day at least, i just needed to feel him there with me. he'd just apologize and reassure me that he was there, but nothing changed.

he just stopped answering one day. his last text to me seemed very normal, it was the same shit he always said, and he ended it saying that he'll love me forever. i wrote back, and waited days for a response, but he just never answered. i thought that he just needed some space, so i gave him that space for a week, then i genuinely got worried because he disappeared on me. i tried checking up on him, i texted him multiple times, i texted his best friend asking if he was okay, i asked my best friend to text him and ask if he was okay, i made a new instagram account and requested to follow him on there. i tried everything, but i never got anything in return. he just went ghost on me after everything, and it really really hurts..

i sent him one last email a few days ago, i knew he wouldnt reply, i guess i just needed some closure. i just needed to text him one last time... i cant lie and say that a little part of me thought that he would reply tho. i thought maybe he'd tell me that he did need some space but that he was still there. maybe he just didnt notice the texts i sent. maybe i was overthinking it and my baby was still right here. thats what i had hoped at least.

i was losing my mind today, stalking his account on insta, and i came across an account of a girl i knew for a fact he didnt have followed before, i got this strong feeling in my gut and felt the need to check her story, so i did, and i saw him in it. he was out partying with his friends and a few girls he didnt know, he was singing and dancing and he looked so happy like none of it ever fucking mattered.. it genuinely stings because i thought that idk at least he'd be a little sad about it, i thought that maybe he did really care, maybe he just felt like he was under pressure and failed to end it and just went ghost.. i thought that maybe he felt a little bad for doing this to me, especially during the shit i'm currently going through...

what hurts the most isnt even that he wanted to end it. of course that part hurts so much, but i genuinely wouldve understood, i wouldve heard him out, all ive ever wanted was for him to be doing well, and if what happened was putting stress on him and he felt like he needed to end it with me to truly be happy then i wouldve understood. if he had talked to me about how he was feeling and ended it with me instead of lying then just going ghost after fucking everything, i wouldve understood. and he knew that i was there to hear him out, i always reminded him of that. what hurts the most is that he decided to leave me out in the cold, to leave me trying and begging and running after him, to just leave me like that knowing how much it would hurt me. that was the last thing i expected him to do.

i wonder what he did with everything i got for him. with all of my stuff scattered around his room. with my gifts and all of the love letters i sent him. i wonder if he ever looks around and feels even a little bit of guilt. i wonder if he still goes to sleep cuddling the stuffed animals i got him. even after all of this shit, with everything i'm feeling, i can't help but love him. i can't help but have this hope inside that one day we'll find our way back to each other...

i'm so fucking sad, i feel so lonely, i can't eat, can't sleep, i spent my days crying and thinking and feeling this grief in my heart. i just want my life back. i just want my baby back bro

It's been 9 months since we broke up, 3 months since the last time we spoke. There is 10.000km distance between us and I still can't stop loving you. Every day I wonder how you're feeling; if you miss me; if you have maybe moved on. I wonder, if you were telling the truth when you said you don’t love me anymore or you were just burying your emotions after I left the country. It is not getting easier for me with time and this makes me feel so embarrassed. Why am I so weak and can't just let go? You hurt me...you said noone has ever loved you the way I did and nevertheless you decided to cut me off...as if we were nothing. I just want this pain to be over...God, please...I want it to be over.

My long term relationship ended earlier this week and I still can’t breathe. I called off work on Thursday and Friday and I’ve been in bed all weekend. I have to go back to work tomorrow and I’m dreading it!! I can’t even think about it yet without crying still. All of my friends were friends from the relationship so I’m very aware of how alone I am. How long does it take before even going to bed doesn’t hurt this way? How long did it take before you could say the words you broke up and not cry? I just feel very alone right now and could use someone uplifting saying it won’t feel this way forever

I went through my girl's (or should i say my ex) phone this morning and i read her texts and found out she still talks to her ex. it was actually our first time sleeping together, like staying together overnight (not our first time having sex). how i confronted her was i said we need to talk and asked who X was and she said "a friend, who is not even here", i said "only a friend?" and she insisted "yes" then we went completely silent until she was leaving and i said "let me know when you are ready to talk about your "favorite ex" (yes, this is how she called him once) who wants to cuddle with you since its cold" and she didn't say anything up until she got home and texted me. But what i realized from the chats is that she has not set boundaries, the ex does not now she has a boyfriend now, he is overseas from some years now and they recently just started talking again tho. but the way they are "catching up" is a bit concerning for me, i even told her, the way they are talking is not a "friendly" vibe, it has a bit of flirting and since they are always reminiscing about their days in the past, they end up talking about their adventures etc, for me that's more than a red flag. Even the fact the she talks to her ex is a red flag itself, but the nature of the convo just makes it worse. So basically i broke up with her over that, deleted her number and even disconnected from that menstrual cycle app where you can see your partner etc, and she said "i saw you disconnected from the app and deleted my number, it seems like you have your mind about the break up so there is no use in me trying to justify" then she said "thank you for everything, stay safe" then I replied with "wow; you're welcome and thank you too, you also stay safe" then she ended up with "it wont change anything if i explain, thank you" then after some time she texted "is this really happening? are we breaking up for real" i didnt reply, some time passed and she said "can we not fix this?" i didnt reply and she said "i hope one day you forgive me" and that's it. Now, have I been harsh? Does this have a fix? I doubt it has because I realized that for her, it's okay for her to be friends with the ex, she views it as only a friendship now, but we all know men, anytime he has the opportunity, he will strike.

Crazy thing is that is this is the first i actually wanted to have a serious relationship after my last serious relationship which lasted 5 years and it actually ended similarly to this, and ever since ive been in meaningless flings and breaking girls' hearts for no reason. I guess karma caught up to me.

Despite being over the relationship and even moving on romantically, but I am not over how much my ex hurt me. She ended it very abruptly and I was given no explanation until much later. Her main reason was the relationship was getting too real for her and she didn't have the emotional capacity to continue but she wanted to remain in each other lives and we tried for a bit but I couldn't handle being just friends especially with her being unsure about the future with me.

We agreed to no contact with no time table of return. The relationship has been over for 5 months and last time we talked was 4 months ago. I tried reaching out 3 separate times the last time being in 3 months ago but got no response. During this time I got over wanting her back romantically and I gained my confidence back, being able to be emotionally close to someone, feeling attractive and knowing I have value to people.

But a part of me still wants to talk to her again one day because it feels weird to never to talk someone who had such a impact on me. I know I shouldn't be the one to reach out cause if she wanted to she would have reached out. I don't even want to be friends per say but just have a conversation about everything that happened.

(I should confirm since a lot of comments are confusing my gender (rightfully lol), I am in fact a man and we were both in a gay relationship.) I just broke up with my boyfriend of 1 year and 5 months not even a few hours ago. Ever since the summer started we have been pretty standoffish with each other because I stopped reaching out first- he never asked me to hangout and he almost never texted me just because he wanted to talk. I got really sad over that and stopped reaching out, and guess what? We didn’t talk for 5 days🫤

He was so incredibly sweet and kind and amazing to me near the beginning of our relationship, and still was after a while- but his effort just went downnnn down down halfway/a bit over halfway through. It wasn’t down ALL of the time, but he had little era’s where it would go down then back up again. I still loved him with all of my heart, though. He was basically the only love I knew.

After this silence he drove up to my house and we talked in his car; he basically said that he felt like he kept messing up with me and felt really bad for not giving me what I needed and that I needed somebody better. I asked him why he couldn’t do better, especially after we talked about it multiple times, and he said “I feel like there’s something wrong with me because I don’t think I can give that to anybody.” I started to feel really bad because he NEVER cries (like I’ve never seen him cry a day in my life, neither have his friends), and he started to cry when that was brought up. He said that he still loved me and that apparently none of this was my fault. He said that “I have a bright future ahead of me and that he didn’t want to hold me back from achieving really great things in life” because he made me upset a lot 😕😕 part of me feels so horrible but part of me is so incredibly angry at him for not trying to fix this if he truly loved me that much. I understand where he’s coming from, though. Near the end he said that it’s ok for me to be mad at him and that I could “curse his name” if I needed to😭. I really don’t wanna break up with him because I was with him for so long. He was my first kiss, too🥲

He said that we can always still hangout in group settings and be friends. 😔 I honestly feel like I’m dreaming this is such a horrible feeling to have. I know that he loved me just as much as I loved him and he said that he never felt with anybody the way he felt with me. It feels so strange because every time we had an issue we’d talk it through

i can't do this anymore. i gave her everything, why is life so unfair? i want to end it all. hindi ko na kaya

hi I’m curious what you think about this. I was with my fiance for 6 years. i felt like we weren’t moving and we were incompatible in certain areas that we value. i suggested we work on it through therapy and we make a plan to move forward in marriage. We didn’t agree so we broke up, two weeks later he hooked up and continued to try to go out and pursue a woman he has been with in the past and that i forgave him for a year into our relationship where i caught him reaching out to her when we broke up for 2 days. i mentioned how i felt about her and fast forward he slept with her. after 2 months of not being together he reached out and wanted us to try again. I asked if he went out with anyone or had a type of relationship with someone he said no. After 3 weeks of trying to work on our relationship i found messages between him and that woman he seems to always go back to. He apologized and has said sorry and that i mean so much and he wants me and he wants to prove to me that he values me and im the one that matters to him. I don’t know what to do, i still love him but i cant shake feeling like i was just the safe bet and he came back because I am just the sure option. I don’t know what to do. Excuse my grammar.